


Mountview Hospital

by Raven5555



Category: Daft Punk Medley - Pentatonix (Music Video), Pentatonix
Genre: Anorexia, Epilepsy, F/F, F/M, Gen, Hospitals, Insomnia, M/M, Mental Health Issues, Mental Institutions, OCD, PTSD, Teenagers, peter pan syndrome, young adult
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-12-27
Updated: 2019-01-16
Packaged: 2019-09-28 16:12:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 50
Words: 92,804
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17186213
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Raven5555/pseuds/Raven5555
Summary: Avi Kaplan is sent to a mental hospital after a diagnosis of PTSD, believing that he will hate it there and that he is unfixable. However, with his new and super cool roommate, Kevin Olusola, and his friends, maybe things will start to look up for Avi... maybe... or maybe things will crash and burn. Who knows?





	1. Room 108

Part 1:

"Welcome to Mount view Hospital Mr Kaplan. May I call you Avriel?" a strange woman asks. She is dressed like a nurse in blue scrubs but has managed to get away with the most beautiful pearl necklace. It reminds Avi of the one Lisa Simpson wore. That was Esther's favourite TV show.

Crap. Keep it together Avi. You only just got here. He counted to 10 in his head like his psychiatrist told him to do before he replied in a strong voice. "Call me Avi. No one calls me Avriel."

"Nice to meet you - Avi!" the nurse paused as she added this nickname to Avi's notes she was holding. He could read everything that was on there, which he shouldn't be able to do. No patient at the hospital may see their records unless it has been cleared by their lead doctor and parents/guardians. He remembered reading that as he read the brochure about the hospital on the long drive here. It contained nothing that he didn't know already: PTSD, panic attacks, medication, all that lovely stuff. Nothing about his personality through. He guessed he would have to fill that in for them overtime. Hang on, roommate Ke- he couldn't read the rest before the Nurse shifted on her hip and he couldn't see that part of the paper.

"My name is Jennifer, but everyone calls me Jen. I am the lead nurse of this floor; any time you need me, day or night, I will be here or will come right in. As they say in Toy Story, You gotta friend in me." Wow, he thought. What work ethic. She looked a bit young to be the lead nurse though, she couldn't be older than 30 and was very pretty. She had long, straight, chestnut hair - like Esther.

"So you will be in room 108 with Kevin Olu- Oly. Crap, I can never pronounce this right." she blushed, afraid she may be offending a patient.

"Olusola." a deep voice replied, behind both of them. A tall, muscular man belonged to that voice. He had very short, black hair and dark skin, and was in a smart-cas get up of black jeans and a white shirt tucked into them. Crap, Avi thought, was this a smart hospital?

"Don't worry Jen, no offence taken. I got it from here." Jen apologised, handed Avi the wards' schedule and rushed to the cry of the call button situated at the nurses station that began beeping just after Kevin arrived.

"Kevin I presume." He nodded. "Avriel, nice to meet you.", he extended his arm to me.

"Likewise. And sorry, but everyone calls me Avi.", he said shaking the hand.

"Sorry, Avi." he smiled, and then noticed Avi starring at his outfit. "Don't worry about this, I always dress smart-ish. It's a symptom. It's neat and clean and I can easily spot and remove creases. I used to wear smart trousers as well, however as part of my plea to get released again, I have to show improvement, through these jeans." he said pointing at them. "They're actually rather comfortable."

Avi smiled again and looked around for his bags.

"Oh, Felix has already loaded your luggage into our room. It's this way." he said and set off down the hall to the left that he had previously been blocking. Avi followed him, wondering what this strange, clean, guy with kind eyes could offer him here at Mountview Hospital. He almost had to run to keep up, Kevin had a large stride, and Avi had thought he was tall until now.

After a few more turns down identical corridors, Kevin stopped outside room 108. How was Avi ever going to be able to navigate this place alone? Room 108. Home. At least for the next few months until Avi could get released. Kevin opened the door and Avi stepped in. It was actually quite nice. There were two single beds, facing each other. The one not facing the door was stripped bare, revealing the little, slightly rusty springs underneath. This must be his.

"Sorry," Kevin said sitting down on his pale blue, crisp sheets, "I have to face the door, it's ancient social custom," he paused noticing Avi's confused face, "To see marauders coming." Oh Avi thought, that makes sense, kinda. The worst marauder he thought they could get in a mental hospital was an unstable patient with a specific liking to room 108.

Jen walked in at that point, knocking as she opened the door, and quickly passed some bedding to Avi, unsure if he had his own, before dashing out again, clearly busy.

"She's always like that." Kevin stated, putting down a book he had taken from seemingly nowhere. "Bless her, she needs a long holiday somewhere warm, but not too hot that she is living in a giant Petri dish."

\- - -

An hour later, with nothing changing in the room, Kevin put his book down and stated it was time for lunch. "Do you have any special dietary requirements?" he asked on their way down more labyrinthine corridors.

"Umm no." Avi muttered trying to memorise the route from their room to the cafeteria, so he could follow it in reverse if he had to later.

Eventually they arrived a queued behind a couple of other teenagers, probably about 18 years old, got his dinner and followed Kevin to a half full table near the queue.

"Hi Kevin." they all chimed, apart from two. One looked dead, and the other terrified.

"Who's this Kev?" a short boy asked, he had a very high-pitched voice and was very thin, with a brown comb over. "Is he a new toy for me?" he chuckled.

Wait what! Avi did a double take. Did he say toy?

"Hands off Mitch," Kevin stated, noticing Avi's discomfort. "Guys, this is Avi, my new room mate." 

"Hi Avi." they repeated just as they had for Kevin, who sat down next to the dead-looking blonde boy, and Avi sat diagonally opposite next to a ginger boy. They all had the same meal on identical trays.

"What is this?" Avi asked. It looked like a plate of green leaves with a scattering of grey inside.

"It's a chicken salad." replied the tall ginger next to him. "Hi, I'm Jake. This is Alex." he said gesturing at the brunette on his left. Alex partly lifted up his right arm in a shy wave. "Sorry, he has selective mutism. It may take a while until he talks to you." Alex smiled weakly.

"Yeah, he still won't talk to me and I've known him for - like - ever." whines Mitch.

"Two months." Kevin replied calmly, "He will one day Mitch, when you let people get a word in edgewise." he smiled. So did Alex and Jake. Avi smiled back and Mitch decided he should just copy, however even his smiled was over exaggerated and toothy. It was slightly adorable.

"So Avi, what are you in for?" asked Jake.

"Umm. I-umm." he stuttered surprised he was asked this question so soon. He knew it was inevitable but faced with it, he was startled."

"It's ok. I'll tell you about us." Jake said, "As you know, Alex has selective mutism, but he is making headway. I have OCD, but not as severe as Kev. Me and Alex are intermittent patients, meaning we only come in when we need too, that's why we're in group 3."

"Yes, I have more severe OCD that causes occasional panic attacks, so I'm in here more than I'm not so that's why I'm in 4, like you, Scott, Mitch, and Kirstie." Avi looked confused. "Kirstie isn't here yet. She's probably with her nurse still."

Before Avi could ask why, Mitch interrupted. "I'm Mitch, I'm in 4 as well. I have bipolar disorder and something else that no one can identify. Scott calls it Peter Pan syndrome. I think Peter Pan is cute but a bit weird. Personally, I'd rather be Robin Hood, I like tights and I look great with a bow. Though I don't think I would fare well in a forest. Oh I know I could buy a house and me a Scott can adopt and I can work at a school, no when I go back to school I can be in the school play and sing and-"

"Mitch breathe." the dead boy, who Avi presumed was Scott, interrupted. Mitch did as he said, keeping eye contact with Scott. "Thanks Scottie." he smiled, "Your turn." he smiled at him.

"Umm," Scott ruffled his messy hair, he had clearly just woken up, "I'm Scott, I'm in for insomnia and yeah. I room with Mitch." he yawned.

They all looked at Avi expectantly. Avi took a deep breath, "Hi I'm Avi. I was admitted for PTSD." he looked down trying not to remember what happened. Kevin caught on immediately. "Thanks Avi. That's ok, we don't want to pressure you." They shared a smile and Mitch, now bored with the silence, decided to start humming. "Hey, seriously where's Kitty?" he then asked looking around.


	2. Blood

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There will be at least three books btw.

Part 2:

Scott was beginning to get concerned, it was mealtime, Kirstie should be here. Suddenly he saw her walking in and queued to get her meal from the special side of the dining room. He put his hand on Mitch's leg and they made eye contact before he directed Mitch's eyes to Kirstie. Mitch automatically brightened. Scott was glad someone did, he was about ready to fall asleep again, right here at the table.

This wasn't something unusual. Scott struggles to sleep at night due to his insomnia and basically took power naps (each no longer than 30 minutes) 24/7.

Avi noticed Mitch was beaming and turned his head just in time to see a blonde girl sit down opposite Kevin. She was tiny, very short and very skinny. She couldn't be over 4'10 and honestly looked like a barkless twig. Her skin was clearly thin and was covered in bruises, it was pulled over her skin like a balloon after it has been inflated. Still, she was beautiful. Her hair was a summery blonde (clearly dyed) and her eyes were a warm hazel. Her skin was slightly tan and Avi assumed she was part Latina.

The mysterious girl look up at him and Avi realised she'd caught him staring. Oh god, how humiliating; he could feel his cheeks burn red under her gaze, though he wasn't sure if it was due to humiliation or attraction. The girl smiled at him slightly and looked back down at her meal. It was different to theirs he noticed, it was chicken and chips, and the portion was at least twice the size of theirs.

He thought it looked absolutely delicious. However the girl, who he presumed was Kitty/Kirstie, looked like she would puke. Kevin leaned over and stole a chip, it still steaming in his hands. He put it down on his plate, in a space Avi noticed he had cleared for it. Actually, he had organised his whole lunch, disassembling the salad and sorting it into non-touching colours. Definitely OCD.

Kirstie looked back up at Kevin and Avi noticed the grateful look in her eyes, and the reassuring look in Kev's. It seemed to work and she picked up the smallest chip on her plate and nibbled at it.

"Avi." he stammered and put out his hand robotically. Smooth man. Kirstie noticed his shyness and embarrassment and decided to play along. "Kirstie." she smiled, shaking his hand. Her skin was so soft.

Mitch decided that was enough awkwardness and decided to interject. "He already knew your name Kitty." Seriously? Avi thought before shrugging it off, he knew Mitch couldn't help it. None of them could and that's why they were here.

"So what are you in for?" She questioned.

"PTSD," he replied, "You?"

"Isn't it obvious?" she laughed sweetly. "Anorexia nervosa." she clarified, though Avi didn't need it.

"I'm sorry." he replied.

"Me too." she said solemnly before replying "PTSD must be rough." before finishing off that tiny chip. She cringed as she swallowed it and put her head on Kevin's shoulder. He rubbed her back and poked her fork in another chip and force fed it to her and she obliged. Avi liked her sense of humour.

"So why does Mitch call you Kitty?" he asked.

"Well Kirstin is a bit of a mouthful, and formal for this place so most people call me Kirstie. Mitch likes nicknames though and Kitty just stuck. Most people call me a ton of different names though like Kirst, Kit, Kit Kat, Princess..." she trailed off when Kevin held the fork in front of her mouth again. She shook her head but he insisted; she took another bite.

"What do you want me to call you?" He asked.

"Whatever you want." she replied, "As long as it's cute, I'll accept it."

At that point, Jake and Alex took all the plates but Kirstie's and Avi's. Avi didn't notice the others finish and quickly ate the last couple of bites before Alex took it. Alex smiled at him and Avi smiled back. Sweet boy.

There was a thud and everyone left at the table jumped. Scott had fallen asleep and hit his head on the table. He was conscious again, and appeared fine, just grumpy he wasn't asleep for long. "Aww fuck." he grumbled.

Mitch playfully hit him on the arm for swearing and then rested Scott's head on his shoulder and the blonde boy promptly fell asleep again. Avi wondered how long they would sit here, waiting for Kirstin to finish. Kit. He thought it was supportive how they waited for her, but he was starting to get anxious. This reminded him of the cafeteria he ate in when he was kicked out of the ICU.

Kirstie jumped up out of Kevin's grip and ran out of the room. Alex followed her. "Is she ok?" Avi asked to no one in particular.

"She's probably gunna throw up again." Mitch replied nonchalantly, stroking Scott's hair.

"It happens a lot. More often than not, it's voluntary, like she freaks out until she can do it, but sometimes she just can't keep food down, the years of starving herself and undiagnosed bulimia seriously damaged her stomach." Jake said, "Alex will take care of this." He looked a bit sad, and Avi wondered if he liked Alex 'that' way.

\- - -

Alex saw Kirstie jump up out of her chair and knew what was going to follow. He ran out of the room after her, feeling everyone's eyes burning holes into his back.

He ran to her room, knowing that's where she'd be. For a weakling, she was very fast. The door was open, that's not a good sign. He went straight to the bathroom and saw her leaning against the bathtub. She groaned when she saw him walk in but didn't flinch when he sat next to her, she must have really been feeling very bad.

He helped her lean forward over the toilet, knowing this one wasn't voluntary. Kirstie gets in extreme agony in these situations; the damage to her stomach fuelled her fear of food and thus made the damage worse. It was a vicious cycle.

He watched her face as her breathing became more laboured, waiting for the inevitable. Suddenly she groaned and her back arched, and she began gagging. At first nothing happened and it was just a burning pain in her throat. Then she gagged again and began violently vomiting with her small lunch staining the water brown. Alex held back her hair and rubbed her back, angry he was unable to verbally comfort her. This happened, with her barely able to breathe for ten minutes or so, until she ended up dry heaving and collapsed into Alex's arms.

Just as Alex went to close the lid, he saw blood in the basin.

Oh crap. This isn't going to go down well.

He flushed and looked over at Kirstin. She was pale and shaking, looking like she was in more pain than earlier. He picked her up and tucked her into her bed, before texting Jake.

Alex: Hey Jake. Are you guys still in the cafeteria?

Jake: No we waited but when you guys never came back, we disposed of Kirstie's lunch and went to the common room.

Alex: Well can you and Kev come to Kirstie's room. NO ONE ELSE.

Jake: Oh shit. On our way x

Did Jake just send him a kiss. His heart fluttered and he felt like he would cry. Kirstie groaned in her bed and Alex snapped out of it and sat down on the bed next to her, stroking her hair. She rolled into her side and clutched her stomach, he could only imagine the pain she was in.

Jake and Kevin barged into the room and froze when they saw a pale, sweaty Kirstie, half asleep, with Alex soothing her.

"What's going on?" Kevin asked.

Alex pulled his notepad and pen out of his pocket and wrote a short note. He passed it to Jake, who gasped, and then passed it to Kevin. He visibly paled before staring at Kirstie again, now understanding her pain.

There was blood!


	3. Consequences

Part 3:

"Are they coming back!" Mitch exclaimed, grumpy that they were just sat there. He hated waiting for other people, he got too distracted and fidgety and this really annoyed Scott, which then annoyed him. Mitch began twitching excessively, jigging his legs like he needed to pee.

"Not sure." Kevin replied after a minute.

"Alex would bring her back," Jake paused, "Unless it wasn't voluntary."

"Crap. She just got that fixed."

Mitch could see where this conversation was going. Avi would ask 'got what fixed?' Then Kevin would explain about the surgeries and how they thought she was cured. Then Jake would say 'They said there would be setbacks. She'll be fine.' Then Scott would start snoring and Mitch would drag them to the common room. He decided to just skip to the ending.

"Let's go Scotland!" he cried, jumping up and startling Scott, quickly grabbing his hand and dragging him to the common room. Kevin disposed of the tray and Jake and Avi followed reluctantly.

"I can't wait to show you the common room Avi. It's for four's but Jay and Ali hang out here too. I really like my chair. It's red like the shoes from 'The Wizard of Oz'. That's my favourite movie. Did you know the shoes in the book were silver! Disney made them red. Oh look at that flower!" he exclaimed as they crossed through 'the quad' to get to the 'common room'. In actual fact, it was a small slated path with some flowers. "Hey Scott they'd look great in your hair, really give it some life." He picked one. "Beautiful. I think this is a tulip. My aunt was a horticulturist. Tulip is also the name of her dog. It's a miniature schnauzer and it's black and it likes chicken and little chocolate drops, for dogs of course. ARE ANY OF YOU LISTENING TO ME!" He yelled.

Avi was silent, again trying to memorise the path, Kevin was muttering numbers as he counted the number of tiles in each stride, trying to get them identical, Jake kept on checking his phone, and Scott was practically dead on his feet. At this exclamation they all stopped and stared at him. Scott took the flower off of his ear and sniffed it. "It's beautiful Mitchie. Just like you. Thank you." He smiled. This calmed Mitch down.

"We're here." Jake said, wanting to prevent another ramble from the small boy. He held the door open for the other boys and then look around at the seats.

There were eight seats in each common room, and now seven people. Everyone had set seats. Kevin sat in the brown leather recliner in the corner by the door, but never reclined it, Scott and Mitch took the red sofa in the centre of the room, but Mitch sometimes sat on the floor next to Scott when he was sleeping, Jake sat on the blue poof, Alex on the orange deck chair next to him both next to Kevin, and Kirstie sat on a black side chair next to Mitch, opposite Kevin.

This left one small green couch, meant for two. The furniture didn't match, it was just dumped in that room as people donated it or discarded it. Avi went to sit on the blue poof but Scott stopped him. "No Jake sits there. The only spare seats are on the green couch closest to the TV." he yawned as he flopped onto the sofa, with Mitch cuddling up to him. Jake smiled internally at the blonde boys kind act. He had felt a panic attack coming on and Scott had saved him from that embarrassment. It would have been even worse without Alex.

Avi sat on the green couch without saying anything about the seating arrangements, though he wasn't happy. He was furthest from the door and this made him anxious. Mitch turned on the TV and put on Sponge bob. The group watched it in silence, Mitch stroking Scott's hair and Jake checking his phone every thirty seconds.

A few minuets later he jumped up. Everyone stared at him but he just began texting. Then he gestured at Kevin to follow him and they both ran out of the room. Mitch jumped up and began to follow them but Jake just said "Stay!" and Mitch rejoined Scott on the red sofa.

\- - -

As they sprinted down the corridor, they were surprised that they didn't bump into any doctors or nurses. Kevin didn't need to ask why they were running, he knew it was Kirstie. He wouldn't run in the corridors, it broke the rules, but judging by the fear in Jake's eyes, it was urgent.

They ran into Kirstie's room as the door was open and froze at what they saw. Kirstie was lying in her bed, pale, sweaty, and shaking, with her hands on her stomach. Alex was trying not to cry as he stroked her hair.

"What's going on?" Kevin asked, though he had a rough idea of the situation.

Alex pulled out the notepad and pen he always kept in his pocket, scribbled a note and passed it to Jake. Kevin feared his reaction and felt sick when he read the note.

There was blood!

Now he understood why Alex looked so freaked. He was about to ask for more detail and whether he should get help when Kirstie groaned again from her bed and began silently crying. He ran over to her and wiped her tears with a tissue he pulled from the tissue box on her bedside table, after he had folded it into eighths.

She whispered something and Kevin leant over to hear her better.

"W-what's ha-happening to m-me?" she stuttered.

"I don't know princess. I think it has something to do with the damage." he stroked her hair again. Jake and Alex had gotten another tissue and a glass of water for her.

"I'll get help." Jake said as he turned to leave.

"No!" Kirstie shot up, and almost screamed from the pain, "Please no. I don't want another f-feeding tube or surgery or or..." she cried again.

"But Kirst, you're in pain-" he began but was cut off by a fierce glare from the petite girl. Instead he sat down on the chair in her room, whilst Alex went to use her bathroom, and Kevin soothed her.

No more than three minutes later did she groan and begin to cough. Kevin helped her sit up and went to give her some water. Before he could do that though, she began gagging again and Kevin jumped back. He felt awful for not helping her now but a major symptom of his OCD was the inability to handle mess, and another one, germs. Jake was the same. Alex ran out of the bathroom still with wet hands, and after seeing the situation, went to grab the bin from the bathroom.

At this point Kirstie gagged again and threw up all over her bedding, in her lap, and all over her clothes. She retched again and another stream came out. Kevin and Jake froze, feeling awful for her, and angry at themselves. The next retch mainly brought up blood, and this was enough to shock them to their senses. Alex held the bin under her chin as she was to weak to hold it, and held her up with the other arm. The colour was rapidly leaving her already pale skin and she looked like a ghost, about to pass out. Jake ran for help and Kevin followed him.


	4. Behind the scenes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is a short chapter. They will be longer than this.

Part 4:

Jen had just finished her rounds with the 1's and 2's. There were always a lot of them, up to twenty in each group, and this broke her heart. There were so many young people, broken mentally. The 1's and 2's were lucky, she'd never see most of them again. A few would be recurring, once or twice, and the rare one or so would be 'upgraded' or end up on a slab. She'd stopped counting the number of innocents she'd seen die in her few years at Mountview after the number hit 50. Maybe she just was no use and couldn't help these people.

At this deep point in her self-doubt, Kevin and Jake came sprinting down the corridor, which was unusual as they both were very particular about rules and running indoors was against the rules. She suddenly felt sick to her stomach.

"Kevin, Jake, what's wrong?" she half asked, half yelled, feeling the fear intensify as she stared into Kevin's terrified eyes.

"Kirstie...chip...sick...blood...help!" he managed to stutter out, completely out of breath and in shock. However that's all Jen needed to hear before she was sprinting down the corridors to Kirstie's room, with the two boys behind her.

When she reached Kirstie's open door, she saw what she expected, Kirstie in pain, and Alex helping her. The blood was alarming though but she knew what to do. Jen ran back down a couple of corridors until she reached a resource room. She put her right index finger on the scanner and it opened with a futuristic hiss. She pulled out the coloured vial from the plethora of options, and locked it again, fearing the worst if a patient was ever able to break into here.

When she reached Kirstie's room again, she went straight to the bed and filled a syringe with a few milligrams of the liquid. She was about to inject Kirstie with the fluid when the poor Latina jumped in Alex's arms. Kirstie has a fear of needles, but that wasn't the issue here. The issue was with the drug itself. Jen could practically see Kirstie trying to work out the number of calories in the medicine.

"Kirstie honey, can you here me?" she cooed. When Kirstie nodded back, she continued "I need to give this to you Hun, I know you don't want it but it will make the pain go away. Deal?" Again she received a nod in reply and injected Kirstie with the drug, flinching in harmony with the poor Hispanic.

A few seconds later, Kirstie fell limp into Alex's chest and he lay her down and began to strip the bed. A nurse came in and took over that job, his arrival was unnoticed but he must have heard the commotion and came to help, which was greatly appreciated. Alex instead picked up Kirstie and lay her down in the bathroom floor and left the room so Jen could change her into some clean clothes.

When the mess was removed, Jake and Kevin were themselves again, and stroked Kirstie's damp head though another folded tissue. Jen quickly rang Kirstie's leading doctor and informed him of the situation. He told her what to do and she turned back to the others, finding all three boys staring at her intently, like their lives depended on what she said next.

She realised sadly that this was probably true, as not much happened in this part of the hospital and losing their best friend would probably cause them to each lose themselves too. "Her doctor said it was just a setback. It was expected and was just strain from the damage and her surgery. He said to administer pain meds as required but she should be fine when she wakes up in a few hours."

They smiled gratefully and she slunk out of the room. She felt awful. Jen realised she had just said that Kirstie would be "fine" when she woke up. Fine in this context was a relative term, fine in terms of her normal condition, but that was far from fine, and this was even further from that. She meant she'd be better but she was even beginning to doubt if Kirstie would ever even be that. Kevin was the only patient below the 5's that had been here longer that Kirstie, but he had been in and a little bit out, Kirstie hadn't left once in over two years and was the only one to show no improvement, but had actually gotten worse. She'd lost 52 pounds since she'd gotten here but she'd actually gain some weight when she was being forced to eat, and then lose it again and more. The true number was up in the two hundreds.

Before her brain could go into overdrive again, she remembered she had to talk to Devon about his shift with Mitch. Forgetting her worries again, bottling them up with the rest of her emotions, she gathered her clipboard and notes from the nurses station and headed off to the constant care station to find Devon.


	5. Help

Part 5:

I don't know what happened earlier, but I was aware of a shift in atmosphere when the three missing boys reentered the room. It had been about 45 minutes since Kevin and Jake had ran out and the rest of us just watched sponge bob, too preoccupied by the garish, yellow sponge, to keep track of time. Scott couldn't sleep and Mitch was clearly struggling to not run around the room at 95 mph so Scott had had the younger boy lay across his lap and stroked his hair, whilst Mitch fiddled with Scott's other hand, admiring his lanky fingers.

Avi had never loved anyone like that, apart from his sister. Though not romantically of course like those two, just it was a similar deep, burning desire to protect the other one, that it could be overwhelming. That's why he was here anyway.

Then Jake, Alex, and Kevin filtered into the room and retook their assigned seats. Mitch immediately noticed this and began to bombard them with questions.

"Hey what took so long? Where's kitty? Is she alright? Did Jen come? Has Jen spoken to Devon? Has Kirstie spoken to Devon? Ohh I bet she will when she hears." At this point Scott poked his bony ribs and he shot back in pain, glaring at the blonde boy, before turning his attention back to the others. Jake, knowing Alex couldn't answer around this many people and with the full attention of the room, decided to answer.

"She's fine. She just had a little setback from the surgery; she'll be back for dinner." Avi visibly relaxed and Kevin shot me a knowing look.

Avi blushed and 'super frowned' at him, making Kevin laugh. Avi's sister used to do that when he pulled that face at her. She was even the one to dub it 'super frown'. He felt his pulse quicken and he knew he had to calm down. 1 2 3 4 5 5 6 Umm 9 no 7 wait. Avi's mind was fogging up and he felt a panic attack coming on. Kevin noticed this and ran over to his new roommate and tried to get his attention. In the process, he'd conducted the rest of the room towards Avi, which was the last thing he wanted.

"Hey bro, breathe." Kevin calmly requested, crouching down until he was in Avi's line of sight. He still couldn't touch the boy though, but he didn't need to, he was used to doing this. Kevin took exaggerated deep breaths, urging Avi to copy him. Avi did so and colour began to return to his cheeks. Kevin knew he was getting better, but he had to check. "Avi, where are we?" "Some lame common room." he mumbled back, making the others laugh at his much needed insult. "And what can you see?" Kevin requested. "Five strange boys staring at me, five new friends." Avi said, this time with more conviction. Kevin stepped back, noticing his hint, but also laughed at his compliment.

"Yeah bro, I think you're right."

\- - -

An alarm bleeped behind us, and we knew it was time for dinner. We hadn't even noticed Alex and Jake leave for counselling, we were too preoccupied with our lively conversation. I pushed Mitch off my lap and stood up, stretching. Man I was tired. The stretch just seemed to fill my limbs with aches and I hunched over again, wishing I could go to bed. At least dinner would give me some energy.

As we walked back to the cafeteria, I held Mitch's hand and swung it, exciting the smaller boy. I could feel the energy radiating off of him and I needed all the Mitchness I could get at the moment. Also, I didn't want him doing anything inappropriate and this was a suitable way to distract him. I needed to get Avi's attention without distracting Mitch, so I asked him a question about Vera Wang. At this his eyes lit up and I knew he'd be rambling for at least ten minutes. I used this time to strike.

"Avi," I whispered, "Avi." he turned, looking for who was calling his name, and a puzzled expression fell over his face when we made eye contact. It was at this point I realised I'd barely spoken to him, and here I was about to request a massive favour. I felt awful for not being welcoming but that had to wait.

"Avi I need you to take Mitch to dinner." I whispered. He slowed his pace subtly, realising I didn't want to distract Mitch.

When he was walking comfortably next to me, he asked "Sure, why?"

"I need to get Kirstie." At this he nodded, and I passed Mitch's hand that was holding mine, onto Avi. Avi took it and Mitch broke his stride, staring at me. "Scott, I was talking." he whinnied like a little kid. "I know Hun but I need to sort something out, Avi will take you to dinner and discuss Vera Wang." At this mention of talking to the new hot boy about fashion, Mitch's eyes sparkled and he turned to Avi, rambling. Avi glared at me, not in a grumpy way, and I smirked back before heading to Kirstie's room.

When I got there I stood outside wondering if I should knock or not. I decided against it and opened the door. She was sat on her bed, fully dressed and looking as if nothing bad had happened to her that day. She was unnecessarily strong. I held out my hand, too tired to talk.

She understood this and accepted it, my giant, sausage hand engulfing her tiny, stick one and we walked like this, hand in hand, to dinner. When we got there, Kevin had grabbed all of our meals, and Mitch was almost finished. "We couldn't get him to wait." Avi laughed, watching the young boy stuff his face with spaghetti.

Kirstie sat down next to Kevin and flinched at the sight of her greasy lasagne. There was a note next to it and she cautiously opened it. She smiled when she read it, picked up her cutlery, and began to eat tiny, mouse sized bites. Mitch was done by this point but the rest of us waited for Jake and Alex.

\- - -

Group went on a bit tonight, and by the time we finished, I had to grab Alex's hand and run to the cafeteria. When we got there, we saw all of our plates waiting for us. Mitch was finished and was snuggling into Scott. Kirstie had made a small dent on her plate. Mitch couldn't wait, he got sidetracked to easily, and if Kirstie was eating, whenever it was, it was best to let her do so, by the time everyone else began to eat, she may no longer be hungry and may not eat anything.

We sat down and Kevin turned to Avi and asked "Are you religious?" he looked confused and replied "Jewish." "Cool. I'm Christian and I was going to pray before we eat. Is that ok?" Avi smiled and nodded. He hung his head as Kevin openly prayed and didn't say Amen at the end but did mumble something in Hebrew. Then we all began to eat. Mitch was grumpy that he now couldn't lean on Scott and tried to start a conversation with Kirstie. I didn't want him to make her stop eating, so I engaged in some conversation with him about puppets.

We all finished our plates at roughly the same time. All except Mitch. Me and Kevin gathered up the empty trays and took them to the counter to be dealt with. We returned and found everyone discussing the evening. Mitch, Kevin, Avi, Scott, and Kirstie had group, and we would meet them in Kevin and Avi's room afterwards to hang out before bed. On that note, we headed our separate ways.

Me and Alex were both tired from the eventful day and silently agreed to cuddle together on Alex's bed. He was more comfortable there, somewhere safe and familiar to him, and to be honest, I felt safer there too, near him. We lay there until the clock read 7:30pm, and we headed down the corridor to 108.


	6. Group

Part 6:

The five of us headed to group. Mitch led, dragging Scott along behind him, with me, Kevin, and Kirstie following. We headed down the now familiar corridors to where we turn right to go to our rooms, and straight to reach Jen's nurses station. This time however, we turned left and headed down a new corridor. This one didn't have the typical white walls of Mountview, but instead had brown, wooden panels on a cream wall, and a fake wood linoleum floor. It was more like a youth centre than a mental hospital.

On the way I kept looking at my fellow 4's. Scott and Mitch were engaged in each other heading to group, Kevin was counting again, clearly unable to respond to any stimuli I could give him, and Kirstie was walking next to him, bored. I decided to walk in time next to her. We couldn't fit down the corridor though three abreast, so I decided to slowly push forwards and wait for her to begin to drop back; Kevin wouldn't even notice my intrusion.

After a couple of minutes, she was far enough back for me to walk next to her. I matched my pace to hers and said "Hello Kirstie." in my low voice, one I often got mocked for. People could never believe that that low a voice could come out of a teenager, or anyone to be honest. Their initial reaction always made me laugh. Kirstie though never acted shocked, I think she liked my low voice, or didn't notice. She had to have noticed, she seemed very observant.

"Hello Avi." she smiled, mocking my formality. "How are you?" I asked, turning to face her, and immediately regretted what I'd said. However she didn't seem to care. "I'm good, how are you?" she replied. "I'm good." "How are you adjusting?" She clearly knew not to ask me more than one question at once. How did she know this? She probably had a lot of experience with people with anxiety or PTSD. Maybe she even had them herself.

"It's a bit weird being here - it's my first hospitalisation," I quickly clarified, "But it's surprisingly nice here. I think the warm welcome helped." She smiled at me when I said that and I couldn't help but smile back, her crooked smile was adorable and warmed my heart.

"That's good. Yeah we do stick together here, and Jen is literally the kindest person I've ever met. She's such a great nurse." she looked down at the ground, the respect for the adult clear. I wondered then how she'd needed to discover this. How often had she relied on Jen? "I remember that feeling. This is my seventh hospitalisation and it doesn't get any less weird each time." she chuckled.

"Were they all here?" I blurted out and then immediately blushed at this personal question. Again, she didn't seem to mind. "No, my first four were at a local hospital as my 'condition' was less severe then." her air quotations around the word condition scared me slightly. Did she not believe she was sick? She looked the sickest of us all. She couldn't weigh more that 50 pounds at the most.

"But yeah, I was in and out of here twice in the space of two years before I was admitted this time. That was two years ago though and I haven't left since that day. Not even for a day trip home." My heart fell when she mentioned how long she'd been here. I remembered someone saying Kev had been here the longest; how long was that exactly.

We continued to chat about hobbies, mainly me telling her what had happened in the world in the last two years. She'd never heard of GoT! How was that possible? Mitch paused outside a small door that said 'Meeting room" and waited for us all to get there before he opened the door. A woman was sat in a chair waiting for us. We sat in chairs in a semicircle, with her creating the head of this circle - or the bottom as a circle has only one side.

"Hello guys. How are we all today?" she smiled, clicking her pen on and waiting for a response. "We're good." they all murmured back, this clearly being the stock response. I said it with them. "If that was true I wouldn't be graced with your presence today." God she was observant and straight to the point. I liked her. There was no way I could lie in here and I thought that would terrify me, give me another panic attack. But it didn't. No one else in here could lie, I could see that from their relaxed faces, and this calmed me.

I looked around the room, again noticing Kevin had a set order of seating. He sat on our therapists right, with Kirstie next to him. She leaned into his shoulder, clearly still tired from earlier. Mitch sat on the lady's left and Scott sat next to him, no signs of fatigue at the moment.

That left a seat in between the two blondes for me. Opposite the therapist. That meant eye contact. I can't make eye contact. Whenever I do I feel sick, I see the judgement in their eyes for what I did to Essie. Even if they don't know. I expect this lady does though, but I still can't look at her. Not in the eyes.

I took the seat and Kirstie smiled a slight crooked smile at me. She understood how I felt, not sympathy but empathy; poor kid, she knew the agony I felt on a daily basis. No one should know how this feels. It's like a poisonous snake slithering under your skin, making you feel guilty and sick and disgusting. It strangles your lungs, so that you can't breath. It squeezes your stomach until you throw up. It stops you from being able to move. It steals a piece of you every day and wears you down until you are nothing, killing you slowly. Maybe this is why Kirstie is anorexic. She just couldn't bear the demon.

"Hello, you must be Avi. I'm Abby, the therapist for the fours. We have a group session five night a week, with Wednesday and Saturday nights reserved for one to one sessions. Your one to one will be a Wednesday session in between Mitch and Kirstie's. Scott and Kevin are on a Saturday. Do you have any questions?" I shook my head and looked into my lap, avoiding her gaze. She understood this and turned to Mitch. "You know the drill Mitch. Can you tell me one success and one struggle of your day please."

He smiled, glad the attention was on himself. Scott groaned silently, making Avi and Kevin smirk. "My day was great Abby. A success was that I only had one mood so far today. The bipolar meds are working I think. A struggle was that Kev, Ali, Jakey, and Kitty Kat abandoned me in the common room for ages and I had to watch sponge bob, which I love, but Scottie was sleeping and I didn't know what to do and I was going crazy. Patrick is crazy don't you think. He is funny. I like starfish. Did you know if they lose a limb it regrows. That would be handy. Unless you had a limb amputated for medical reasons and it kept on growing back still bad unless-" Scott rubbed circles on Mitch's hand until he responded and went quiet. He blushed and murmured an apology.

"Don't be sorry Mitch. I'm glad you have had a good day." Abby smiled. He smiled back. "And Mitch, you can always talk to me if you need to." Avi added in still looking down into his lap. "Really!" Mitch beamed. "Yeah," Avi laughed quietly, "That's what friends are for." "Friends." Mitch echoed. "Avi is my friend. Hey guys, Avi is my friend. That makes two successes!"

The rest of the group smiled endearingly at him before turning to Scott. "Umm a success was that I was able to sleep for half an hour earlier. It's my longest in a long time. It wasn't at night though but it's progress." he smiled. "A struggle was the night though. I couldn't sleep much."

"It's okay Scott. You have made progress despite not having been here very long. I'm very proud of you." "We all are Scottie." Kevin added.

Avi was next. "A success was umm." he looked up slightly and saw them all looking at him. He looked at Kirstie for comfort and she smiled at him again. This gave him the courage to carry on. "A success was coming here and making new friends." He heard a distinct aww from around the room. He blushed. "A struggle was when I had a small episode earlier. Kevin helped me though and that was nice."

He looked up and saw Kirstie frown. She didn't know he'd had an episode and clearly felt sorry for not helping him.

"My success for the day was that I managed to eat my dinner. And my struggle was that I had a setback from the surgery earlier. It was expected at some point but I freaked out when the familiar pain came back. I hoped it wouldn't."

"We are very proud of you Kirstie. From what I heard from Jen you were very brave and I am very happy you ate your dinner, especially after the setback. But you have overcome it and have made so much progress Hun." Kirstie blushed and looked down, then at Avi. He was looking at Kevin.

"Well I also had a great day. My success was getting a new roommate. He is awesome and I feared he would be messy but he isn't." Avi beamed. "However my struggle for the day was that I wanted to mix my foods earlier but I couldn't. I'll try again tomorrow."

"That's great Kevin. Optimism is fantastic." Abby replied. Group carried on for another fourty five minutes. At the end they all left and headed to room 108.

\- - -

When we got to 108 I was so tired. My nap from earlier had worn off and I wanted to do nothing else but sleep. That wasn't an option though, not whilst Mitch was all hyper. I'm surprised he hasn't flipped yet and had a tantrum. His Peter Pan thing often causes tantrums.

I wanted to flop down on a bed but Kevin didn't let people touch his clean bed ever, unless it was Kirstie. He was a bit like a father to the girl who was seven years his younger. He was the oldest here at 22 and she the youngest at 15. He came though when he was 19 and was alone for a year until Kirstie came in when he was 20. They upgraded her from a three to a four and was 13 at the time. He cared for her, glad to have company and they were this way for a year until Mitch came and they got to know Alex and Jake as well whilst they were here.

I came seven months ago and was warmly received. They'd had a hard five months trying to help Mitch and whilst Kirstie could sometimes help him, she still wasn't very successful. Apparently until I came he was impossible to have a conversation with or often be near. I mellowed him out and help to keep him grounded.

I looked around the room and Avi recognised my slumping shoulders. "You can sleep on my bed for a bit if you want. I haven't used it yet so it's all clean. Fresh sheets and everything." he offered. I smiled gratefully and lay down on it. Mitch lay next to me and I curled around him, protective of the younger boy. I realised I was spooning him but I didn't care. Avi sat down in a chair next his bed and Kevin sat on his small stool next to his bookshelf. Kirstie huddled on the floor by his feet and he passed her a notebook.

It had her name on it and I recognised it. She would be lost to us for a while. I felt my eyelids dropping and fell asleep. Thank God.


	7. Episodes

Part 7:

When I gave Scott my bed I gave it to him to take a nap on, not spoon his 'non-boyfriend'. I found it slightly funny that these two got action in my bed before I did. Not that I was expecting to get any here anyway. I mean, A: it's a hospital, B: it only has a handful of girls apparently, and C: who'd want to make out with a guy who can't even make eye contact? I was glad for Scott; he found someone who cared on a deeper level.

I looked at Kevin and Kirstie. Kevin was on a stool reading a book, I honestly didn't care what it was, the dull cover told me it would be musty and boring, but he was content. I kinda felt bad taking this chair without checking seating arrangements, but then again he didn't complain and there weren't enough chairs anyway, especially as we couldn't touch Kevin's bed.

My gaze shifted to Kirstie. She was huddled on the floor, her back against the wall, on her own but close enough to Kev's left foot to touch it if she extended her arm, and her legs were pulled up into her chest so all I saw was a pair of legs, one arm, and a head covered in the most beautiful dyed blonde hair I'd ever seen, even if it had clearly thinned due to anorexia. She was drawing in a notebook. I was curious to see how good she was and what she was sketching; I hoped it would be me.

I got up and walked over to her, no one shifted, they were either asleep or too engrossed in what they were doing to notice me. I peeked a look into the book and didn't see any sketches. Instead there were a bunch of symbols and numbers. Great, she's crazy. I looked and she was over halfway through this book, more than a little crazy, I looked at the front cover and it said 'Kirstin Maldonado book 3'. Great, she's batshit crazy.

I heard someone behind me clear their throat and I spun around, startled at the noise. Jake and Alex were standing in the room and were staring at me. How long had they been standing there? "What are you doing?" Jake asked, clearly thinking I must have been doing something bad. "I um I was looking at Kirstie's book." I stammered, feeling my cheeks turn redder than Alex's hair.

Alex smiled, clearly struggling to act angry. Jake caved too and the two boys fell into each other laughing, well Jake laughed, Alex mouthed laughter. I didn't know mutism could control laughing. I felt humiliated now. Mitch and Scott had woken up and were staring at me, Kevin looked up and was focused on me. Kirstie was the only one who hadn't noticed the situation.

I felt my breath hitch and my hands went clammy. The colour drained from my face and my eyes widened due to the release of adrenaline. Kevin noticed I was having a panic attack and he took my hands and led me back to the chair. "Avi, look at me." I looked at his 'beard' and he took this thankfully. "Avi where are we?" "108" I stammered. "What colour are the walls?" I looked at the walls "Umm bluey-grey."

My breathing slowed and I leant back into the chair. How was this guy so good at controlling my panic attacks. That usually required sedatives. I looked back at Kirstie and she was still scribbling furiously into her notebook. "W-what are they?" I asked, indicating at the scrawl in her notebook. "Maths." Scott answered. I forgot he was conscious. "Maths?" I echoed confused. "Yeah maths, a bit of physics and kinematics too. Maybe the odd chemical formula here and there." Kevin finished.

"Maths. Kinematic. Equations. What?" "She's kinda a genius." Jake smirked. "She doesn't like that terminology. Technically she isn't a genius, just very smart." "Yeah like unbelievably smart." Scott joked. "That's true. She always was. She's even smarter than Kevin. Sometimes she can't escape her own mind though, she gets so focused on her work. It's truly surprising and heartbreaking." Alex nodded at Jake's words, filling in in the conversation the only way he felt comfortable doing in this situation.

I just nodded and Kevin sat back down. Jake and Alex sat on my bed next to the other boys. Now four people would use my bed before I did. We were silent for a moment until Mitch sat up and decided to stand up and punch the wall. "Holy shit Mitchie. What are you doing." Scott cried jumping up. "Breathe hunny. Relax." This is when I realised that Mitch had shifted. So much for one day in one mood.

He turned back to Scott and began screaming at him, reminding me of a little toddler before he fell dramatically to the floor. Scott scooped him into his arms and his anger melted away into sadness. He bawled into his arms for five minutes as as Scott rocked him until he fell asleep. Avi helped Scott lay the boy back into his bed and Scott began to apologise for Mitch's behaviour. "Sorry, bipolar disorder and Peter Pan syndrome don't mix well." We all (almost all) smiled at him, not disturbed by the small boys outburst at all.

We chatted happily for an hour, with Alex writing on a piece of paper from a flip book he kept in his pocket. At ten to nine Kevin warned the others that Jen would be back to give them their meds and send them to bed. They began to wrap up their conversation when I looked back down at Kirstie. She hadn't even slowed down for the last hour and a half, even during mine and Mitch's episodes. How?

Kevin followed my gaze and decided to get Kirstie's attention. He nudged her with his foot but she didn't move. He knelt down before her and after no reaction, pulled the book from her grasp. She looked up at him, pen frozen mid air as her hands didn't move, clutching an invisible book. "Bed time Kitty." he soothed. She stood up and gave him a hug before she hugged the other boys, apart from Mitch and Scott, she even touched me, which was a surprise as she barely knew me and I didn't jump back startled. Then she said goodnight and headed to her room across the hall. Jen followed her into her room seconds later, probably to give her her medications.

The other boys all exchanged pleasantries and headed off to their respective rooms, Alex holding the door for Scott, who carried a still sleeping Mitch. Kevin went into the bathroom and got ready for bed. I went in afterwards. The bathroom was very organised, with set spaces for two toothbrushes on the left hand side of the sink (in separate, spotless containers) and soap on the right. He brushed his teeth, went to the toilet, washed his hands, got changed, and headed back to his bed. 

He folded his clothes for the next day and put them on top of his cabinet. He put his underwear and socks in the washing basket and got into bed. Kevin kneeled before his bed and prayed out loud, I did the same thing at the side on his bed but finished the prayer in Hebrew whilst Kevin said Amen. We smiled at each other and wished the other a good night before Kevin turned off the light and we got into bed.

 

"Esther. Are you sure we're late. I swear Mum said three." They were in the car and Avi was driving frantically to get to the hospital. His father had a heart transplant that afternoon. His sister was in the passenger seat freaking out. "No it was two. It is one forty-five now and we are at least twenty minutes away. We're late for our own fathers transplant." she practically shouted. 

"Calm down Es. We will see him afterwards. He will be okay." Avi suspected the fear of never seeing their father again was why she was really panicking. She calmed down a little and stared at him. He turned and stared at her and they both smiled. Esther turned back to face the road, still smiling and Avi felt a deep love for his sister at this point. Her smiles turned into a look of pure terror. He turned his attention back to the road in time to see a silver Mercedes charging towards them. She screamed.

 

"Avi! Avi! Wake up bro!" Kevin yelled at him shaking him. I jumped up out of his bed, covered in a cold sweat. My bed was soaked and my pyjamas were clinging to me. My eyes were wide and I didn't know where I was. Kevin took a step towards me but I lept back and huddled against the wall. Kevin called soothing things to me for twenty minutes until I remembered where I was. I calmed down and fell to the floor sobbing hysterically.

Kevin knelt down next to me and rubbed my back, waiting for Jen to turn up. She did a minute later and saw that Kevin had the situation under control. She left and got me fresh sheets and changed my sweaty bed. She passed fresh pyjamas to Kevin. I finally stopped crying and took the pyjamas from Kevin and changed in the bathroom. I looked at my face in the mirror. It was pale and my eyes and nose were red and puffy from crying. I knew his throat was hoarse without having to speak. This had happened enough times for me to know this would be the case.

I came out of the bathroom and weakly smiled at Jen and Kevin, the best thank you and sorry I could muster up. They understood this, the masters of non-verbal communication, and Jen left the room and Kevin turned the light off and I tried going back to sleep.

What was that infernal beeping. I rolled over and was met with blaring sunlight from the open curtains. Kevin's alarm was beeping at 7am. I sighed at the thought of having to go through another night that night. Then I remembered where I was, who I was with. The kind boys and Kirstie. I wondered how long it would be before I saw her again.

Then I got up.


	8. Broken Children

Part 8:

It's nights like this that I'm thankful for my insomnia. After having such a great day, Mitch couldn't sleep. His joyful temperament from earlier had completely flipped until he was angry and grumpy, and combined with his Peter Pan Syndrome, the night was hell. It was like my best friend had transformed from a loveable ten-year-old to a grumpy toddler. He never acted his real age, he couldn't.

After he woke up screaming and crying five times, keeping Jen busy in our room for most of the night as well, she gave him a sedative to give us at least a few hours of peace. I still couldn't sleep though, he was very restless and my brain wouldn't shut up.

I couldn't stop thinking of the new boy and how he'd affect our social circle. He clearly had feelings for Kirstie, which could never end well. He was much older than her and she wouldn't be able to focus on him; she can't focus on anyone. The episodes of his I'd seen were mild, I heard they could be a lot worse, but he would definitely be out of here before her. I wasn't sure if she'd ever leave.

What happened to him to give him such severe PTSD. He mentioned his sister once earlier, not in a good way. What had happened there? He was not exactly old but he wasn't young either. He was on that borderline of being an adolescent and an adult. The first thing that surprised me about him was his voice. Man it's low! It's like there's a bass pouring out of his mouth. It made me quiver when I first heard it, though my heart will always beat for Mitchie, whenever I had the courage to ask him out. Anyway, Avi was straight and I'm a man so that would never work out.

And Kirstie. Alex told me what happened earlier, it took a while for him to write down, he does talk a little to me as he knows I would never judge him but the room had Mitch in it and he knew he would make some kind of comment, he wouldn't mean to but he couldn't help it. When he finished telling me I felt absolutely awful for Kirstie. Would she be able to get better if this happened again? I hope so but she'd been doing badly even before her surgery. If anything, it hadn't helped at all. Her anorexia was winning, yes she ate today - nope now it's technically yesterday, but I knew this meant that she would refuse food for the next week, that or until she collapsed again.

Kevin was getting better, that was undeniable. He may get to be a part time inpatient soon, which would be great for him, but not for the rest of us. We need Kevin, he's our glue. Jake's doing better too, they may release him in a few weeks. He has to come back every few months anyway but a lot can happen here in a few months and our social circle may be unrecognisable. And Alex, he'd only just got back and would be here for a lot longer, just like me. That's one reason why we got on so well, we were so similar. Quiet and not judgemental.

Ugh, the alarm's beeping. If we don't get up now Kevin will force us up. I got up slowly and went to wake up Mitch. At least one of us got some sleep last night. "Mitchie honey. Come on baby wake up. It's time for breakfast. Pancake day." At the word pancake, Mitch woke up. He grumbled and pushed me off the bed. I hit the floor with a thud and a wave of anger rushed through me. I stood up to face Mitch and the anger left my body as hastily as it had arrived.

He looked terrible. His skin was pale and clammy, his hair was limp and not shiny, his eyes were dull, and he had his hands bawled into his sides. I knew this look, Mitch had effectively crashed. It's like a person getting a low after a lot of sugar or caffeine, poor Mitch was going to have a terrible day. He got these sometimes after a bad episode. Something to do with his Peter Pan apparently.

I went over to Mitch's bottom draw and pulled out a pair of headphones and an iPod. Mitch would need the distraction today to keep himself awake and alert, otherwise he'd have a freak out at some point and make himself worse. I put on Imogen Heap and handed it to Mitch. He unbawled his hands and put the headphones in. I knew he'd need extra help today, like an infant, so I went and pulled out an outfit, nothing too tight incase he had an accident of any sort. I helped the younger boy get dressed and sent him in the bathroom to use the toilet, brush his hair, and clean his teeth. Just the bare minimum; a shower would have to wait. Whilst he did this, I got dressed super fast incase he needed me.

Mitch came out but wouldn't take my hand, he needed his space at the moment and that was okay. He always did in these situations. At this point Jen came in. She took one look at the pale Mitch, with his headphones in, and knew it would be a long day. She passed the us our meds and left to find the others. We headed slowly to breakfast, me and my zombie.

\- - -

I woke up this morning and saw Jake sat on his bed reading a book. It was a horror novel and looked very gory from the cover. Personally, I prefer romance novels. I know, I'm literally a hopeless romantic. I wanted to make him smile. I wanted to get better. I pursued my lips and bit them a little as I gathered the courage to do what I was about to do. I replayed the words in my head like my favourite song. I took deep breaths, feeling my heart rate increase. I couldn't do it. I couldn't. No I can. I CAN do it. Physically there's nothing wrong with me. It's all mental. And my brain can be fixed.

"Good morning Jake."

His neck snapped up and he stared at me with his eyes wide. He hadn't heard me speak in almost a year. I hadn't spoken in almost a year. The last time was a goodbye to Scott. "Good morning Alex." Jake replied, clearly trying to remain calm and not overwhelm me. We both stared at each other and broke into giant smiles.

Jen came in with out meds. "Morning Jake, morning Alex. How are you today?" "We're great Jen. I woke up about an hour ago and have been reading. Alex here just woke up." he beamed and Jen stared at him, wondering why he was so happy. She furrowed her eyebrows in confusion. "Alex wished me a good morning." She still looked confused until she realised what he meant. She turned to me, and I was as red as my hair, but in a happy way, not an anxious way.

"You used verbal communication." she had to get a clear confirmation for our therapist John. Jake nodded. "He said 'Good morning Jake'. He didn't stutter or slur or anything. It was crystal clear."

"That's great Alex. I'm so proud of you. I can't wait to tell John. Maybe if this continues you can go home in a few months." I smiled and took my meds from her and after she left, we rushed to get dressed, hopped up on adrenaline, and raced to breakfast.

When we got there, everyone else was already sat there, apart from Kirstie, and we went to get our trays. This was no surprise, Kevin wouldn't let Avi be late, and Kirstie had a couple of injections in the morning and this took time so Jen visited her last, making her late. We sat down and looked at the others. "Good morning boys." said Kevin. Jake, Avi, and Scott echoed the sentiment. I just smiled. Mitch hadn't spoken and this concerned me so I turned to him and groaned silently. Jake groaned out loud. Today was a crash day, which meant Mitch would be an annoying baby all day. I didn't fancy babysitting.

"Alex spoke this morning." Jake blurted out excited. The alert boys all turned to look at me. I managed to look back at them. They burst into clapping and hugging and they celebrated me for a few minutes. It actually felt kind of nice, and not completely painful.

I noticed Kirstie walk in and instantly get her tray from the other side of the room. She sat down next to Kevin, opposite Avi and greeted us, her usual, bubbly self. She was the optimist of the group. However she didn't touch her breakfast. Kevin told her about my achievement and she lept up, ran to my seat, and looked me in the eye, awaiting for confirmation for her next actions. I liked this about her, she always acted with permission, never wanting to push me or any of us. That's why she was easy to be around. I nodded and she gave me a big hug and celebrated.

I liked the hug but I knew she was also deflecting our attention away from her full plate of bacon and hash browns. We had Cheerios. I pulled her off me and kindly pointed to her breakfast. She looked at me with panic in her eyes. I returned a look along the lines of Go and sit and she hung her head and sat down at her seat, like a dejected puppy. I watched her but she just stared at her food. I looked at Avi and we shared a look that consisted of him telling me he'd try with Kirstie now. I smiled and finished eating.

\- - -

This morning was painful. Kevin made me sit on my bed next to him and discuss what had happened last night. I told him the entire story, the crash, the hospital, and the after. He listened and didn't interrupt once, only moving to get me a tissue. When I was finished he reassured me that it wasn't my fault and that Esther didn't blame me. It was my fault. I didn't believe him, I'd been told this by a dozen therapists and my own family, but I couldn't accept it. I was the one driving our car, I'm the one that got into the crash, ergo it's my fault.

He could see that I wasn't ready to accept this, that was a main reason why I was here, so instead he let us both get dressed, after he handed me a morning schedule. It was actually rather handy, structuring my mornings prevented me from laying in bed and succumbing to my depression. It rejuvenated me, cheesy, I know.

We headed down to breakfast and were the first ones there, just as Kevin liked. We were greeted by Scomiche after a few minutes and I almost didn't recognise Mitch. Scott filled me in on Mitch when he crashes and I couldn't help but pity the smaller boy. Scott was so resilient. I could tell just by looking at him that he wasn't doing good himself, his permanent bags under his eyes had increased, his skin was paler, and his eyelids kept on drooping. Poor boy.

Alex and Jake joined us afterwards and we were told Alex had a small breakthrough. It was great news, the kind I needed to hear after last night. We celebrated and prayed for our breakfast before we began to eat. I thought we should wait for Kirstie but Kevin told me she was always late in the mornings as she had to do extra things with her nurse. He wouldn't go into more detail and I didn't push, I knew I'd find out more about everyone here eventually when they all began to trust me more. I'd been accepted immediately but I wasn't trusted completely, not yet.

Kirstie walked in a few minutes after we'd finished and quickly got her meal from the other side of the room for people with eating disorders as we got a generic meal but they got a specialised meal tailored to each of their needs. That's what Kevin told me at least. She sat down and greeted us, she was so bubbly and optimistic, it warmed by heart. With everything that had happened to her, including stuff I didn't yet know but knew was there, she remained this bright ray of light in this hospital. To be honest, I would hate it here if she wasn't with me. She was a great friend.

She was told about Alex's breakthrough and immediately squealed with delight. The tiny girl ran over to him and paused, clearly asking for permission. How kind. He silently accepted and she gave him the most warming hug I'd ever witnessed. I had to get me one of those. After a short while Alex stopped smiling. I wondered what was wrong when he carefully pulled away. He pointed at her meal and that's when I realised she'd also been deflecting our attention away from her and onto Alex. They did say she was a literal genius.

She sulked back and sat in front of her plate refusing to eat. Alex had failed to get her to eat. He looked at me pleadingly, hoping I could get through to her. I don't know why he thought I could. I hadn't even known this girl for 24hours.

I turned to Kirstie and drummed my fingers gently on the table between us until she looked up at me. I looked at my empty cereal bowl and then at her full plate of turkey and hash browns. God they smelt good. She clearly didn't think so and shook her head at me. She pushed her tray towards me, clearly wanting me to take some. I glared at her until she pulled it back and then she looked to Kevin. He took a slice of turkey and she looked down at her plate again.

He picked up his tray and motioned that I did the same with my tray. I did and we headed to put them away. "Avi sometimes Kirstie needs a bit of the food removed so that she won't feel so guilty if she eats it as she wouldn't have cleared the whole plate. Take away the smallest thing though to trick her into eating more." he said as he turned away and left me to dispose of both of our trays. That sneaky son of a bitch. He really did understand her. Next time I'd accept and eat the smallest thing, especially when it smelt as good as that turkey.

I headed back and retook my seat, my lecture still fresh in my mind. Kirstie hadn't moved since I left and was muttering something to herself under her breath. "What did you say Princess?" I asked, blushing when I realised what I'd called her. The others all turned to look at me (apart from Zombie boy with the headphones) and smirked. Kirstie didn't notice and kept mumbling. Kevin noticed this and looked at Alex. He stood up and the other boys all moved up one chair so that he was next to Kirstie. He took her hands in his and ran circles over the back of her hands with his thumbs until she snapped out of whatever she was doing.

"I need my book." she mumbled. That's when I realised the book was a release. A thing she did whenever she slipped. Slipped into what I wasn't sure but there was a kid with a therapists appointment at the same time as me before I came here who used to do what Kirstie had done, except he'd draw as a release. I couldn't remember his diagnosis though. Ugh. I wish I'd paid more attention. I spent the entire time there pretending I was fine and ignored those around me. Him, the girl with the headphones, the young boy who kept waving at nothing and would scream whenever he saw a shadow. I'd been so naive. It's my own fault I'm here, I didn't let anyone help me.

When Kevin came back into the room with her book from last night, I realised I'd been completely out of it. I looked up at Kirstie and she was shaking, still mumbling numbers I think. The occasional maths word. She was doing serious maths again. She took the book and began so scribble again, slowly calming down.

After ten minutes of this, everyone had eaten, even Mitch had eaten a few bites and was leaning into Scott, who leaned back, the two boys holding each other up. Alex put one hand over the page Kirstie was writing on and he looked at her meal again. She let a tear run down her cheek and Alex gave her a stiff hug, clearly pitying the youngest member but also mad that she wouldn't even try to eat. I assumed this happened a lot as Jake took this as an opportunity to take her plate. He didn't dispose of it however, he gave it back to the kitchen staff and gestured towards Kevin, clearly telling them he'd eaten that one piece of turkey.

Meanwhile everyone else cleared away their trays and all stood up, heading off to the common room. Jake, Alex, and Kevin held a lively conversation with me and Scott, who were active but less engaged as we watched over our broken children. Mitch wasn't even looking where he was going and Scott was steering him, careful to only touch the boy when he had to and when he did, so gently that his clothes didn't even wrinkle. I watched Kirstie as she tapped her leg repetitively whilst we walked, in her own world.

We got to the common room and sat in our assigned seats. Kirstie had returned to the bubbly girl who greeted me this morning and joined in the corridor conversation. It was about One Direction. Jake, Scott, and Alex liked them but me, Kirstie, and Kevin didn't. I assumed Mitch would like them. He was that kind of boy. That divided us by rooms so thank god the sleeping arrangements were the way they were or we'd have a lot of conflict over the stereo in each room. 

The conversation ended with Scott declaring "You're all wrong!" very loudly. I'm not sure what his allies were wrong about but he was very sleep deprived and I let it go. Alex went to a cupboard next to

the TV and I saw shelves full of boardgames and videos. Yes videos. There was a video player, not a DVD player. I did say this stuff was old. I was about to ask if they had monopoly when I saw Kirstie shift off her seat and fall to the floor. She wasn't moving. My heart stopped.


	9. Collapse

Part 9:

I saw Kirstie fall to the floor and knew what was coming. Avi was opening his mouth to speak but froze, leaving it hanging open as Kirstie fell to the floor. He didn't know about this. I leaped up from my brown recliner and headed to the black chair opposite me. I was facing Kirstie and was the only one who saw this coming. She'd lost all joyful expression as Alex headed to the games cupboard, her arm falling limp by her side and eyes wandering unconsciously around the room.

I got up too late as her muscles stiffened and released, sending her tumbling to the floor. She lay there still as I pulled off my sweater, folded it three times, and placed it under her head before rolling her onto her side. Jake passed me his phone with a timer on it and Alex ran out of the room, probably to get Jen.

A few seconds after I reached her, Kirstie's right arm shook for a couple of seconds until her whole boys was shaking a bit. I started the timer. A few seconds after that, the shaking turned into violent convulsions and she was seizing on the floor. I heard Jake question Avi if he was alright but I wasn't listening to anyone else, my full attention was on Kirstie. Suddenly she coughed and a mixture of blood and spit began to fall from her mouth; Scott was on Kirstie's other side, and wiped her mouth with a tissue he'd found. He probably had a whole stash of them for Mitch.

At this point, Jen entered the room, being led by Alex, clearly having no idea what was going on, just knowing it was serious. When she saw Kirstie on the floor, she shooed Scott back and had a glance at the timer on 1:34. She then scanned Kirstie with her eyes before deciding she was safe where she was, after pushing the black chair out of the way. I hadn't noticed but Kirstie had hit her legs against it a lot and would have severe bruises later, emphasised by her severe lack of body fat. She'd be completely covered. Jen wiped up more blood and we just watched the girl, all thoughts of board games gone, until her body slowed at 3:12. She was still seizing though, a small ripple being sent through her body every few seconds until these stopped at 3:48 Jen noted the time and we all shuffled back.

We sat waiting for a couple of minutes, listening for changes in Kirstie's rapid, wheezy breaths until she began to stir. I called her name and said soothing things until she tried to turn her head to look at me. This let me know that she was now with us and able to hear, so I shuffled forward into her line of sight. She visibly relaxed and sat up before we could stop her. She wobbled in her sitting position and began to fall back to the ground until I caught her and laid her back onto her side incase she wasn't finished. She immediately began to seize for another 42 seconds before relaxing.

Her gaze wandered around the room and rested on Avi. They made eye contact and I finally turned to look at him. He was ashen, pure shock and terror etched onto his face, keeping his eyes super wide. At least he'd finally closed his mouth. Jen began to ask Kirstie questions and I turned back around to hold the tiny girls bony hand. She still couldn't hear, she was often deaf for a few minutes after a seizure, and wasn't responding to Jen but did respond to the circles I traced in her palm. I read that physical contact helps to ground people after having a seizure and it always worked with Kirstie. Normally this level of intimacy was uncomfortable, but in this situation it was pleasant.

She eventually clocked her head up as Jen was speaking and this calmed me as she was finally coming around. "Kirstie, do you know where you are?" Jen asked. "I-I I mmmm rrrr-rr" she mumbled, clearly trying and not getting a good result. "Take your time." Jen reassured. After about two minutes, Kirstie tried again. "I'm I-in th-the comm-on rooom." At least she knew her location, but she still couldn't speak yet. She slowly tried to sit up and I helped her, leaning her into my side for support. She nuzzled her head into my crisp shirt and I rubbed her back, soothing her. My shirt came second.

"Kevin. How long was it?" she asked, not slurring as much now, but was still a little dazed. "3:48 and then 0:42 so 4:30 exactly Kirst. It's a bit long but at least it is nicely rounded already." she smiled at my joke, her bubbly self returning. Less maths for her to lose herself in. "Can I get up, this floor isn't that comfortable - or clean."

"Sure." I helped her stand up, as her legs were still wobbly, and was met by Avi holding up her other arm as we both guided her to his green couch to lie down. We lay her down and he sat on the floor by her head, stroking her hair. They engaged in a light conversation and Avi laughed every couple of minutes, clearly entertained by the tired girl. This was the first time I'd seen Avi laugh, or smile. Eventually, I saw her eyes flicker and she fell asleep, with him stroking her hair.

I took the opportunity to look at the rest of the room. Jen had left when we got Kirst to the couch, Jake and Alex were sat watching, not concerned, but intrigued by Avi and Kirstie, Scott was worried however and he watched me to see if he needed to help, I shook my head and he began to relax. Mitch was still out of it, unaware that Kirstie had even had a seizure.

"So. She's epileptic." Avi stated, clearly knowing the answer but still posing a hidden question, being why did no one tell me?

"Yes."

\- - -

When I saw Kirstie begin to shake on the floor, I can swear my heart skipped a beat. Everyone else reacted calmly though. Mitch didn't even move. Kevin was by her side like lightning and lay her on her side, protecting her head. Scott stood up and walked to the tissue box and gave one to Kevin. Alex left the room, and Jake came over to calm me. We all sat there waiting, including Jen until she finished.

It was horrible to watch. Her entire body convulsed and writhed, like she had millions of tiny strings attached to her and they were being pulled randomly. She slowed finally until she was only shaking intermittently. When she went to sit up, I exhaled, the first time in a few minutes, until she fell down again and carried on shaking. When she finally finished, I helped lay her on my couch and began to talk to her. She was still happy and cheery, could nothing phase this girl? 

I let her fall asleep, seeing the pure exhaustion in her eyes, and turned to the others. "So. She's epileptic?" I half asked, half stated. "Yes." Kevin said. He paused before continuing, "She gets partial, absent, and tonic clonic seizures. That was a tonic clonic. Partial is only a part of her body and she remains conscious. Absent seizures are like a very long daydream." "I know." I said, cutting him off.

"One of my friends back home has a brother with epilepsy. I've seen some of his seizures, though none of them were that bad. His epilepsy is quite mild." "So do you know how to deal with them?" Kevin asked. I nodded and he clearly relaxed. "Thank god, I would hate to teach that again." We both laughed at that.

Scott fell asleep and Alex got out the game operation. Me, Alex, Jake, and Kevin all sat around the small coffee table and took turns being the surgeon. We would clap and shout, trying to sike the surgeon out, but being quite enough to not disturb the sleepyheads and zombie. It was really fun. Kevin and Jake were so good at it, I'm putting this down to their attention to detail, I don't want to admit that I just suck. My hand eye coordination never was great, I actually have more fun killing the guy and watching his nose light up.

After a while, I heard mumbling coming from the red sofa and Scott sat up. I thought he might want to come and play with us but before I could ask, he sighed and dropped his head into his hands. "Ugh come here Mitchie." he said, scooping up the smaller boy. As he stood up, I noticed a small stain on the front of Mitch's pants and realised what had happened. He was so out of it he wet himself. That is definitely not normal behaviour for a 17 year old. Alex indicated with his eyes that he could help but Scott shook his head and walked out, assumably to the nearest bathroom.

We carried on our game until they returned twenty minutes later. This time Mitch was upright. Scott entered first, running. "Heads up guys, he's flipped again." and as he said this, Mitch ran into the room giggling like a schoolgirl. "We had a race. Scottie won though." he laughed running over to Scott. "Again again." he cried. "Not now Mitchie." he smiled, happy to have a happy Mitch back, not a toddler or a zombie. We all smiled.

"Hey Mitch. Do you want to come and sit with me?" Kirstie asked, patting the seat next to her. I didn't notice her wake up. Mitch ran over and sat next to her. I didn't pay attention to what they were saying but it was something to do with Imogen Heap. I think Mitch really likes her. "Ugh. I'm crap at this." I exclaimed as I made the nose buzz again as I tried to remove the femur. I actually was trying this time as well. I forfeited the rest of the game and decided to just watch. We moved on to a group game of uno and played until lunch.

\- - -

"We have to go." I declared, putting my cards on the table, face down, and stood up, heading for the door. Alex followed me quickly and I heard the others follow close behind. I turned around and saw a few grumbles from Mitch. He'd been having fun and didn't want to stop. Kirstie however held his hand tightly and distracted him long enough to get out of the room. We headed to the cafeteria quickly, as Mitch decided it would be fun to race again.

We all sprinted down the corridor, showing off our athletic abilities, or the lack of in some cases. I won (obviously) with Kevin second, Avi third, then Alex, Scott, Mitch, then Kirstie. I knew Scott could easily beat us all with his ginormous legs if he wasn't so tired. Mitch was upset that he didn't win, but was happy he didn't come last. He began to whine and Scott ended up giving him a piggyback to calm him down.

Avi and Kevin were laughing, though I knew Kevin was unhappy that we broke the rules. I was mad too but it was necessary; Mitch would have had a meltdown if we hadn't. And that has to be avoided at all costs. I turned back around and noticed Kirstie was walking a bit behind us and looked very pale. I remembered she hadn't eaten breakfast, and only ate her small dinner yesterday, after throwing up her lunch and refusing her breakfast, and she had a seizure earlier. She looked like she would pass out so I turned back and took her hand.

She leaned about half of her body weight into me, trying to act fine, but clearly failing. She was the only one still out of breath from our run, and her entire body was trembling. I stopped walking and she didn't have the strength to break my grip on her, so she stopped too. The others hadn't noticed yet. We headed to the wall and sat down on the floor, her head in between her knees to help with the dizziness. She knew how to deal with this, it had happened enough. I lost count of how many times she'd collapsed.

At this point, Mitch noticed the reduction in our group with his observant eyes, and cried "Scottie stop, Jakey sat down." They all turned around and everyone but Mitch's faces contorted into concern. They ran back over, Mitch bumping up and down on Scott's back, causing him to giggle like the little girl he mentally was. "Is she okay?" Avi asked, sitting down on her other side. "I'm fine. Just tired from the run." she panted, her shaking visible and her skin as pale as the wall she was leaning on.

We all waited for a minute, even Mitch, until she stood up. "I'm fine. Let's go."

she muttered, trying to sound strong, and we headed down the last corridor. She clearly wasn't fine, she was still shaking, but she was walking so at least she was better. I made her sit down however and collected her lunch for her. I'd done this before but not often, and had to explain to the nurses at the eating disorder corner that I'd come for her food as she couldn't and that I wouldn't eat it for her. They caved after a few minutes, clearly not happy, and gave me her tray.

I headed back and gave it to her, smiling when I noticed Alex had gotten my tray for me. We all had jacket potato, beans, and cheese, and Kirstie had macaroni cheese, her favourite. Again though, she wasn't happy with her calorie laden meal and just stared at it. Mitch ate rapidly, clearly hungry from his lack of breakfast, finishing first. Scott was having trouble eating, he kept on falling asleep and almost face-planting his potato. He leant on Alex for strength. Kevin was still colour-coding his meal, finishing before I'd ordered mine by size, and we all ate. Alex and Avi were the only ones who ate normally.

Kirstie didn't finish, or start, and I sighed, knowing I'd have to face the grumpy kitchen staff again. Avi'd been trying to get her to eat but failed. I handed her tray to the staff and they sighed, like I did, getting ready to ring Abby. The trays were disposed of and me and Alex headed to group with the rest of the 3's.


	10. Tubed

Part 10:

We all left the cafeteria and Mitch decided it would be the perfect time to lay down in the field. It was clear there was no point arguing with the bossy 17-year-old so we all headed out, the 4's that is. Jake and Alex had 3's therapy after lunch. Ours was yet to come. Yay (sarcasm). To be honest, therapy wasn't that bad; I mean Abby was nice, and it felt different not being able to lie, but with everyone in that situation it was relaxing and welcoming. But I didn't want to slip up. I'd already told Kevin what happened, I can't tell these guys as well, they'd hate me. It was my secret. My sin.

At this point, Mitch picked a sunny spot in the middle of a small patch of grass and lay on it, picking daisies and creating a daisy chain. If someone had described this boy to me, not using gender-specific pronouns, I would have sworn it was a pre-adolescent girl, not almost a man. A scrawny man, but still a man. Scott lay down next to him on the grass and closed his eyes, not sleeping due to his insomnia, just resting. They looked peaceful. I gave Mitch five minutes before he was up doing something else.

Me and Kevin sat next to them and discussed barbecue of all things. I love barbecue so this conversation was epic. It was his birthday soon and he wanted to do something fun, and was thinking a barbecue so we could all be involved, well maybe not Kirstie as she wouldn't touch the food, but she could still enjoy the smell. I loved the sound of this idea and we began to plan it. Kirstie sat slightly separate from us all and fiddled with her hands. I looked over at the beautiful girl and noticed, in the now clear light, how pale she actually was.

I know before lunch she almost collapsed from our short run but I put that down to her seizure. I'm not so sure now, she honestly looked like a ghost (I know it's cliche but that's the best comparison I've got), she had giant bags under her eyes like panda rings, her cheeks were sagging over her prominent cheekbones (due to the lack of fat on her body), and she was shaking. She was blinking slowly and I was left trying to figure out if her ailment currently was mental or physical. When she went to go for a walk I knew my answer.

She stood up to do god knows what and slowly took a few shaky steps. After she'd moved a few meters away from us I saw her wobble and sway, and before I could reach her, she collapsed on the ground. For a brief moment I thought she was having another seizure but when she didn't begin convulsing, I knew she'd collapsed due to her anorexia. That's not a surprise. I hadn't seen her really eat ever. I stroked her hair and took a mental note of her rapid breathing and faint pulse. Kevin did the same. He then began to yell something to Scott, which had him and Mitch running indoors.

I took off my sweater vest and put it on her head, trying to prevent her from overheating as I was sure that someone as tiny and weak as her wouldn't be able to regulate their own body temperature. Kevin nodded at me after I did this and I knew I was right.

Jen and another nurse, a male one, came out and he picked her up, bridal style, and carried her indoors. "Where is he taking her?" I asked, pleading to know the answer. "Devon's taking Kirstie to her room. We're going to call the eating disorder specialist and probably tube her again." Jen said sadly, sighing at the end of her sentence. I could only imagine how she felt about the tiny blonde. I barely knew her and I felt like I had to protect her. Jen was a nurse and the only other girl I'd seen (apart from Abby once) this feeling must be way stronger.

We lay back down on the grass and waited, as there was nothing we could do to help. Mitch got us all playing a game of twenty questions, which he participated in when he wasn't running around or playing with Scott's hair. After we played a few games of it with the boys, we headed indoors and went straight to Kirstie's room. We heard screaming and flung open the door. Kirstie was screaming at that Devon nurse as he connected a pouch in his hand to a long tube that had ended up in Kirstie's nose. She'd been tubed. I could see her calculating the number of calories in the bag, she was terrified with whatever number she came out with.

With this, Devon walked out and Kevin picked up the feeding tube equipment and led her to our room. She lay on my bed, as I wouldn't let her take the floor again in this state, and gave her her book she'd used at breakfast. The maths overwhelmed her and she began to scribble away again, with ideas I could never comprehend. Kirstin Taylor Maldonado, the anorexic, epileptic, fifteen-year-old genius. What else were you hiding from me?

Kevin sat on his stool and I took the comfy chair. Mitch and Scott took the floor, which was only fair as it was our room, and they took my bed yesterday. Again, no one touched Kevin's immaculate bed. Jake and Alex walked it, their therapy done for the day, and Alex sighed when he saw the tube in Kirstie's nose. This happened a lot then I assumed. He walked out. Jake left and came back with all the pillows from his room and lay them on our floor, in perfectly ordered rows of four by two, one for each boy. Jake took his two, and so did Mitch and Scott and Jake began to tell us about their therapy.

Alex walked in with a bucket and put it beside Kirstie. That wasn't a surprise. I realised that I actually expected to see the nutrients make a reappearance, though I wasn't sure if it would be through bulimia or involuntary nausea from the unfamiliar feel of food in the blondes' stomach. Alex got out his notepad and began to write a summary of all the people in the 3's. It was as I read the list that I realised how abnormally small the 4's are with their four-now five members since l arrived yesterday.

There were twenty of them, and bearing in mind the 3's are almost all part time, I wondered how many of them there actually were. Again, there were no girls, was Kirstie really alone here? There was the usual list of: depression, self-harm, bulimia, anxiety, ADHD etc. One diagnosis caught my eye, schizophrenia. "Hey Alex, who's Warren and what's his deal?"

The selective mute got out his little notepad and began to write, flourishing his pen a little in a sassy way. He knew how to be quirky without his voice. It read Warren is eighteen. He comes in every few weeks for one day to test his mental health. His schizophrenia has always been a part of him and is actually very mild. He's an nice boy, a bit loud though, a little like happy Mitch, mixed with Zombie Mitch.

I laughed at this. This Warren kid seemed cool and I loved how the group had names for all of Mitch's bipolar moods. Just as I finished reading this, I heard a slight whimper from my bed and I looked up to see Kitty scribbling away in her book, as expected, with one hand on her stomach. I saw the colour drain out of her face and I knew she was going to throw up, and not on purpose. She didn't know this though, she was too engrossed with her book to communicate with her own body.

I carefully picked up the bucket and slid the notepad out of her hand, swapping it immediately for the bucket. She looked up at me confused for a second before her eyes widened in realisation and she leant forward retching. Over the next ten minutes I was sure she'd thrown up more than what was in the bag she was being fed, and it wasn't even a fifth empty.

This was going to be fun.

Alex took the bucket and cleaned it in our bathtub, with Kevin reminding him where the bleach was. That boy really can't stand mess. I lay on my bed next to Kirstie, who was now shaking, and I leant back, pulling her with me until she was resting, curled up in my chest, on top of my arm. It concerned me that she was so light that even after two hours my arm never went numb. The only times she got off of it were to throw up, making me pity the girl and also find the whole tube thing stupid if it was just going to make her sicker.

After the tenth time, she collapsed into my chest, dazed and disoriented and I feared she'd faint again. Jake noticed and picked up his and Scott's pillows and piled them up like a tower at the end of my bed. He put her legs on it to get the blood flowing more to her head and she slowly began to regain a little colour. The boys took to sharing less pillows and Kevin barely looked up, too engrossed in his stuffy novel.

It was coming up to 6pm and I knew we had to start heading down to the cafeteria for dinner. I wasn't sure how Kirstie would deal with this. Thank god Jen walked in at this point with a solution. She basically said that because of the tube and the nausea we told her about, Kirstie didn't have to eat that night, as it would just come back up. However she still had to at least be in the room and as soon as our therapy ended, she had to go back to her room and get put on another pouch and iv fluids. On this note, I planned to secretly sleep in her room tonight, knowing she'd need my support. I think I was really beginning to fall for this broken beauty.

\- - -

I wasn't surprised when I looked over at Kirstie and saw her shaking; she'd barely eaten and had to be running on her own body fat again. And bearing in mind she had like almost no body fat, that wasn't good. When she fainted, I got up and smiled when Avi covered her head. At least we gained another sensible newbie rather than another Mitch. Don't get me wrong, I love the guy, but God he's hard work.

Devon took her away and we lay back on the grass. Mitch insisted on playing twenty questions, to pass the time, but I'm pretty sure it was just to get to know Scott more. He clearly liked the tall blonde. We played whilst he ran around and jumped and skipped, releasing his energy from this bipolar flip/Peter Pan syndrome combo. As the sun became too hot, we headed indoors, towards mine and Avi's room again. On the way, we passed Kirstie's room and paused outside, deciding whether or not to go in. When I heard screams coming from inside, Avi flung the door open protectively and we came face to face with Devon.

Mitch screamed and practically jumped into Scott's arms but Devon didn't notice him. He was too busy dealing with Avi who had run to Kirstie's side and was stroking her hair, muttering something to her quietly. Devon finished connecting the feeding tube and left quickly, glancing once at Mitch in his way out. His jaw stiffened when he looked at him and his eyes narrowed slightly. I wonder what happened there. Kirstie was now lying in her bed, curled up into a ball next to Avi with the tube in her nose, connected to the pouch by her feet. I picked up her stuff and we headed to my room where I read my book until dinner.

She was very sick and was excused from eating, which I knew she liked. We ate our food whilst she chatted to Mitch about Pokemon and then we headed to group. She wheeled her equipment and Mitch made us play eye spy. There wasn't much to see though. Just doors and corridors. We were the most life in this ward. After Scott spied a green chair, we arrives and opened the door to meet Abby.

"Good evening guys. How are you?" she asked, chipper as usual. We all murmured something along the lines of "I'm good thanks." as we all sat down. I took a bin from the corner of the room and put it in front of Kirstie. We began talking again today, one success and one struggle.

"So today my success is I managed to stop Mitch from having another meltdown. My struggle is still my sleep, I didn't get much last night due to umm issues, so yeah." Scott began. "Sorry Scottie." Mitch whispered, though we all heard and could guess what had happened last night.

"My success is that I made the best daisy chain ever. In the whole entire world. Also I got to play twenty questions with Kevin, Avi, and Scott so that makes two successes. I'm on a roll!" Mitch exclaimed and we all giggled at this. "A struggle was I had a umm a crash this morning and wet myself." Mitch turned bright red and whispered the word crash. He was clearly embarrassed. "I hope you're not disappointed Abby."

"Of course not Mitch. Everyone gets setbacks. Kirstie had one yesterday and we didn't judge her. You had one today and we won't judge you. We love you Mitch." Everyone else chorused a second "We love you Mitch." At this, Mitch got up and ran a lap around the room before settling back down in his chair, jigging his leg.

"Today my struggle was that I got tubed. I passed out after not eating and had a panic attack when Devon tubed me. It made me very ill but I'm feeling better now and promise not to pull the tube out this time." Kirstie said confidently. "I guess then your success is your positive attitude. That's good progress, not pulling your tube out this time." Kirstie smiled when Abby said this.

"My success was that I finished my book and can give it to my mum to swap for a new book. My struggle was not seeing my sister was feeling ill." I said. At this, Kirstie got up and sat on my lap, putting her pouch by our feet. She leant into my chest and I kissed her hair. I love her, she is my family. Mitch awwed at this and I practically felt Kirstie rolling her eyes as she snuggled further into my chest.

\- - -

"My success today was not having a panic attack during the day. However my struggle is still the nightmares." I began, fearful the others would judge me, "They come every night. The same each night and it caused an attack and Jen and Kevin helped me. I'm very grateful." I finished, again looking at my hands and then Kevin and Kirstie. Kirstie smiled at me, revealing a beautiful side smile. Kevin grinned a toothy grin and said "Any time brother." Brother, I liked that.

After some more talk we headed back to our rooms. Jen was waiting for us and escorted Kirstie to her room. She left and I snuck in to see Kirstie taking some pills. "Avi what are you doing here?" she asked, surprised by my presence. "I wanted to make sure you're alright."

"I'm fine." "That's good. Now get into bed." I teased, pulling her covers back. She obeyed and got into bed, wearing the cutest Pikachu pyjamas I had ever seen. "Cute Pokémon." I joked. She giggled and softly cried "Pikaaa." I laughed and lay down in bed next to her, in my boring navy pyjamas.

She rolled over so that she was facing me and raised one eyebrow at me. "What are you doing Avriel?" she asked. I smiled at hearing my full name, which was unusual. When anyone, even my parents or Esther called me Avriel, I would cringe. Hearing the dreaded word come out of this angels lips didn't hurt though. Magic. "I'm staying. To make sure you're alright." I declared.

"Oh So chivalrous." she teased before turning back over, somehow beckoning me in. I wrapped one of my arms around her and buried my face in her hair, so that I was spooning her. I played with her hair until she fell asleep, her breathing evening out, and I stroked her cheek until I myself fell asleep.

I had no nightmares that night.


	11. Rain

Part 11:

I woke up the next morning to a face full of sunshine. Her hair sparkles and glistened, emitting it's own UV rays. I buried my head into it further and found her petite neck. I leant forward so that my nose was touching it and lay there for a minute. Her neck was warm and heated my cold nose; I inhaled and a scent of strawberries and coconuts greeted my nostrils. I leant my head back slightly and grazed my lips upon her neck, kissing it. My lips grazed there for a brief moment before I felt her body shift underneath me. I pulled back and lay back on my side of the bed, fighting my body and slowing down my breathing, staring at her as she began to become more alert.

"Mmm Jen?" Kirstie mumbled. I froze, confused. Why would she expect Jen to be in her room this early? "It's Avi honey." I whispered and she rolled over to face me. I brushed her hair out of her face with my hand. "Mmm Avi." She hummed and then froze. "Avi!" "That is my name. Don't wear it out." I chuckled. "Get out." "What why?" I realised she was whispering and I followed suit. "What's going on?" "Jen visits my room to make sure I'm alright before administering everyone's meds and she'll be here any minute." That was all I needed to hear.

I jumped up and pulled the duvet back, tucking it around her petite frame. She looked like a toasty hotdog. I crept out of the room and closed the door quietly behind me, before sprinting down the hall to 108 and again quietly opening and closing the door. I turned around to crawl back into my bed and was greeted with a pair of shining eyes. And a scowl.

"And where were you?" Kevin asks, already knowing the answer. "I was umm... making sure Kirstie was umm alright and... fell asleep... and she did and umm... I stayed." I squirmed under his gaze. Normally in these situations I would have a panic attack but my mind was still on my sleeping buddy and I couldn't freak out.

"Bro I know you like her and I'm cool with it." I smiled and sat on my bed. Kevin continued with the dreaded 'but', "Kirstie is my sister. I love her and care for her and protect her. She is my responsibility and I'm happy to share that with you but if you mistreat her I will kill you Avriel." Again, with someone other than Kirstie calling me Avriel, it creeped me out. "For a year I was alone and then she came and it was just us for a year. She helped me and I helped her and she is a little like my daughter. She is the most fragile and vulnerable person I know and you better not break her, she is getting stronger and I will not let you ruin this." He finished, waiting for me to speak.

"I understand Kevin." I said solemnly, "Are you done now?" I asked. He grinned and nodded, clearly not wanting to have that conversation like me. "So what did you guys do?" he asked suggestively. "I went into her room and we had a small chat before going to bed." I replied calmly but grinning. "Did you sleep in her bed?" he pushed. "Yeah..." I giggled, grinning like an idiot. I felt my cheeks go red in a good way.

Jen walked in, pushing her tray of meds. "Morning boys." she called cheerily. We both chimed back a good morning. "How did you sleep Avi?" she asked, remembering my first night. "Great..." I trailed off, hoping she wouldn't notice. Either she didn't or if she did she didn't push, she just gave us our meds and headed to leave. "Oh before I forget, Avi you have your individual counselling session tonight so don't forget." "I won't thanks Jen." I called as she left, with Kevin helping her with the door and closing it behind her.

Kevin got changed in the bathroom and prepared himself for the day. I daydreamed about Kirstie and didn't come back to it until Kevin was waving one of his hands in front of my face. "Earth to Avi. It's your turn." he smirked as he made his bed and sat on his stool, opening his finished book and checking its condition so he could give it to his Mum this evening to get a new one. I used the facilities quickly and we headed to breakfast.

I went to stop outside of Kirstie's door again until Kevin said "Injections remember." I nodded and we headed down. Again we were the first ones there so we grabbed everyones trays, two at a time, and then one, and sat down waiting. Kevin began to tell me about his sister, who was back at home, discussing her hobbies and school. From the sounds of it, like her brother, she was very smart and very dedicated to her studies. Their parents must be proud, even if Kevin was in here. He was doing the best of all of us.

Jake and Alex came in and sat down. "Good morning." Jake said. We both replied. "Not speaking this morning Alex?" Kevin asked. He shook his head. We sat down and waited. We had Rice Krispies. Kirstie had Jam toast and butter. Four slices, not two.

We waited and were chatting so merrily we didn't notice Scott and Mitch walk in. Scott sat down first, and pulled Mitch into his lap. "Cuddly today are you Mitch?" Kevin asked again, great at reading our friends. "Yeah he is. He's very infantile today." "Is this a good day or not?" I asked, confused as how to respond. "Good. Until you take away his toys." Scott joked, but I understood the message. Be gentle. I'm slightly surprised Abby lets Scott and Mitch room together. Yes it helped Mitch but all that work and apparently sometimes busy nights had to wear Scott down. Make his insomnia worse.

Mitch cuddled into his chest and sucked his thumb when Kirstie skipped in, literally. She sat down next to Kevin, opposite me, as usual, and stared disgusted at her plate, as usual, and we prayed, as usual, and Kevin took the first bite for her, as usual, and she wrapped her foot around mine under the table, not as usual. I felt myself blush and looked at her, making eye contact for a split second until I had to look away or explode with hormones.

"You okay bro?" Jake asked, noticing my beetroot complexion. "Yeah I'm good, I just saw a patient over there do a funny thing." I nodded towards the other side of the room at some of the livelier patients and they all seemed to believe me, apart from Kirstie and Kevin, the first who kept her foot there, and the second who raised his eyebrow at me teasingly, pulling an 'I know you're lying but I'll go along with it' face.

I devoured my Cheerios silently, not wanting to draw any more attention to myself, and looked up at Kirstie again. It was now that I realised the tube was out and that explained why she was full of life again. Halfway through her plate she pushed it away, towards me and put her head in her crossed arms on the table. Her foot dropped away. "Are you done sweetie?" Kevin asked already knowing the answer. She nodded. Jake and Alex went around and collected the trays and I looked at the others for the first time in a while and realised they were all already finished.

Kevin followed them for literally no reason, leaving the two of us and Scömiché, who were still cuddling each other. If they do this not as a couple, I wondered what they'd do if-when they got together. "Potty Scotty." Mitch squeaked, sounding more childish than normal. He giggled "Hey that rhymes. Potty Scotty Potty Scotty." he sang, like it was his new favourite song he'd heard on the radio and was now playing it on repeat. It was enough to get our half of the cafeteria to stare at them confused, so Scott hurriedly guided Mitch out of the room to the closest toilets, and Mitch kept singing, unaware or uncaring of the garnered attention.

"He's infantile today." I explained to Kirstie, using Scott's words so I'd be correct. "Yeah I gathered." she sarcastically replied, lifting her head off of the table. "Was it the singing?" I joked, as that was rather obvious. You have to respect Mitch though, at least he found a decent pitch and stuck to it, in key. "No I think it was Scott spoon feeding him Rice Krispies whilst making aeroplane noises that did it." she carried on, flashing me another adorable side smile. "Oh yeah," I stammered, "I totally noticed that."

She laughed "Is this how it's going to be now?" she asked. Noticing my confused face, she added. "Since we slept together." I turned beetroot again. "That's what I mean. Every time I speak you turn purple. It's kinda like talking to those singing black currents in the Ribena adverts." I laughed. "Sorry, it's just I don't want the others to know. They'll jump to conclusions." "Yeah and turning purple is really subtle." she smirked. "Anyway, What conclusions. You helped me when I felt ill. What's wrong with that?" she genuinely asked. "People may think that we umm, you know..." I drifted off. "Know what?" God for a genius she way very uneducated in post pubescent urges.

"Never mind. I'm just tired." I changed the subject. "Oh okay." she smiled that beautiful smile and it took all I had to not become a chameleon again. "So Mitch decided to create a nursery rhyme." Kevin boomed, sitting down next to Kitty. Jake and Alex sat next to me again. "Yeah. Very loudly." Kirstie joked. "Wanna bet how long this flip will last?" Jake asked. We each bet £10 (as that appeared to be a lot of money in here. Though why there is money in here in the first place baffled me) and the person with the closest bet won the sweep. Kevin predicted 2 hours, Jake 3, Me 4, Kirstie 5 and a half, and Alex 7. The game is on.

When Scömiché came back, or miché with Scö following a minute later, out of breath, we headed to our so called common room. It was colder today so we couldn't suntan again so we headed in, before the heavens opened. We assumed our traditional seats, with me far away from the closest exit, as per usual. Alex turned the TV on and put on Sponge bob, to distract Mitch and let Scott sleep. Mitch left the red sofa, letting Scott lie down, and sat in front of the screen, nose almost touching it, truly like an infant.

The rest of us got out a pack of cards and began to play Go Fish. Alex was somehow phenomenally good at card games, and won each time. After five rounds, Kirstie rested her head on my arm, and began to drift off, still clutching her cards. I let her rest on me and we continued to play, now whispering (or for Alex mouthing) Go Fish. He still fucking won. "How the hell are you so good?" I whisper asked. "I struggled to communicate with my family and didn't go out much due to my social anxiety so I just played cards with my older sister and brother instead. I've had a lot of practise." he wrote quickly in his notepad and showed me.

I asked Alex to teach me a few tricks, and he did so, and helped me to improve my bluffing. Apparently I had a tell, I would squint my left eye slightly and raise my right cheek in a slight smile, emphasised by my beard. Great. It hid my baby face but made me a bad card player. Just joking. I love my beard. We headed outside, it had started raining heavily, but that actually excited us. Don't ask me why. We all put on our coats, having to drag Mitch away from the TV, as Jake said he had a surprise for us. The surprise was liquid precipitation.

I stared at him like he was completely crazy as he opened the door leading from the hallway to the outside. Kevin nudged my ribs and leant down a little, whispering into my ear "Just wait.". Mitch was the first to go; as soon as he saw the rain, he sprinted out of that door and began jumping up and down in a puddle. Scott chases after him, to protect him, and Mitch began snorting. "Here comes Daddy Pig!" he squealed as Scott ran towards him. I don't know what made me laugh more, a seventeen year old boy quoting Peppa Pig in a Frozen rain mack, or Mitch calling Scott "Daddy".

Jake and Kevin were howling with laughter. Scott turned a deeper beetroot than I had earlier, and I chuckled. The Dead Boy clearly had feelings for the Zombie. Kirstie was the next to go. She ran out of the doors but didn't do anything childish. She just stood there, in the middle of the Quad, and looked up at the sky, squinting to protect her eyes from the rain. The droplets collided with her skinny frame and ran down her Minnie Mouse coat, her pale cheeks, and her dyed blonde hair, and rolled to the drenched cobblestone.

She let the water wash over her, letting it wash away her pain and confusion, just leaving her with the feeling of the cold and rain cradling her. She looked like she was in bliss. She jolted to life and raised her arms either side of her body and held them out like she was being crucified. She laughed and tilted her head right back, so I could see her entire throat, and the scars from previous suicide attempts. All of that was forgotten in this moment, for both of us.

Alex raced outside and Jake followed him, the two boys beginning to chase each other and wrestle in the mud, an audible laugh escaping Alex's lips. Jake didn't care about the dirt, about the mud, and the grime. The rain removed his OCD, and Alex's selective mutism, leaving behind two normal, eighteen year olds. Mitch and Scott joined in and all four of them began a game of it, with Scott, no longer tired from battling insomnia, chasing the three other boys, with Mitch squealing, of course.

"Oh what the hell!" Kevin yelled from next to me, the first time I'd heard him swear, from what I gathered it was a rare occurrence, and ran into the rain, ignoring his Carex and his smart clothes, and ran into the outside, and began to run away from Scott. I watched the five boys play happily, five normal boys/men, before I looked over at Kirstie. She'd closed her eyes and put her arms down, but still stood there, chin pointing towards the heavens, basking in the healing rain, and I headed over to her. As the droplets hit my bare skin, I didn't shiver, I was actually surprised by how warm it was.

I mean, yes it was cold, but not like how I'd expected it to be, it's hard to describe, but it was pleasant. I reached her, my shoes audibly scraping against the cobblestone, and wrapped my arms around her figure, embracing her. She didn't jump, resist, or even open her eyes. She leaned into me and we stood like this for about five minutes, both of us letting the rain heal us, until she opened her eyes and looked up at me, not the sky, and kissed me. Right on the lips. I hesitated for a brief millisecond before I kissed her back, hard. Her lips were so soft and tasted like strawberry chapstick. Her skin was velvety and smooth and it was wonderful, she was wonderful.

She broke away after a minute or so to breathe, before grabbing my hand and running over to join the others. They'd slowed down by now and were just giggling. Manly huh. Thunder roared above us, tearing the sky apart. There was no lightning though. Kirstie snapped me out of this thought, doing something I'd never expected. "Fuck you anorexia! Go rot in hell, you're not the boss of me!" she yelled, whilst the next clap of thunder roared, muffling her cries, so that no one inside could hear us.

"Yeah, fuck you insomnia. Fuck fuck fuck. Leave me alone I own your sorry ass!" Scott screamed at the sky, literally waving his clenched fist at it. "Stupid Peter Pan, bipolar. You're a meanie bombeanie!" Mitch screeched at the sky. So cute. "I rule my actions, not my obsessions!" Kevin yelled, his voice dropping a couple of octaves. He looked so serious, so fed up whilst he relieved himself, and then cracked into a smile, unclenching his jaw. "I can do what I want. Leave me alone fucking mind." Jake yelled. "Fuck!" Alex squeaked, ather loudly. It was my turn "It's not my fault. Stupid drunk driver!" I boomed. It was the first time I'd admitted that. Jake wrapped his arm around the soggy red head, Scott picked Mitch up and put him on his back, and Kirstie leaned into my chest, whilst Kevin pulled us both into a bear hug, able to touch me now.

We were all beaming, Kirstie side smirking again, truly happy smiles, all signs of pain and depression scrubbed from our features by the rain, cleansing us, baptising us all. Kirstie looked at me, and her beautiful eyes smiled for the first time, and her love filled my soul, saving me. I kissed her again and heard the others wolf whistle and cheer.


	12. Phone Call

Part 12:

Do you want to use the shower first?" Kevin asked as we reached 108, needing to get clean and dry before lunch in half an hour. "Thanks man." I said as I headed into our bathroom. I stripped and showered fast, letting the warm water heat up my extremities, before changing into fresh clothes, and redoing my man bun. I left the bathroom and saw Kevin cradling a photo to his chest. "I miss them sometimes." he said, and showed me the photograph. It was of a younger Kevin, around 8 or 9, and an older girl, and an adult Mum and Dad. His family. "I can't wait to see them later." he smiled. I smiled back at him. "I know. I miss my parents. And my sister." I said, thinking of Esther and not having a panic attack. Progress!

Kevin went to have a shower and we had an hour until dinner and then my individual therapy so I used the time to go and hunt Jen down. I started by leaving a note for Kevin on my bed saying 'I went to find Jen. Nothing's wrong, don't worry. I'll be back in time for dinner.' and then headed down to the nurses station.

She wasn't there so I decided to wander down to the other 'common rooms' that were on the same corridor as ours. I poked my head into each one (as doors weren't allowed in this corridor this was rather easy) and found Jen in the second to last one with a bunch of comatose looking people, reading them a story. The book said 'The Three Little Pigs' and I thought that was strange. These people were teenagers, not kids. There were eight of them, and finally another girl, two in fact. Not one of them spoke to the others though and they looked a bit younger than me and Kevin, around 14 or 15, about Kirstie's age. I looked at the wrist of the one boy closest to the door and his band said 'Matthew Davidson. Catatonic schizophrenia. Group 5.'

So this was the infamous group five, where we could be upgraded to if we got worse. This place looked shit. They all looked like Mitch on a crash. There was no way I was letting my family end up in here, a bonafide Zombie. I cleared my throat and Jen turned around and saw me. She smiled in my direction and I smiled back. None of the 5's looked our way. "Can I help you Avi?" she asked. I nodded. "Give me one minute to find Nazimah. I can't leave these guys unsupervised. Can you watch them for me for a minute? I nodded again. She dashed out of the room and ran down the corridor.

What were these guys going to do in her absence? Snore too loud? Sorry, that was mean. I stood there awkwardly, gawking at them until Jen and another nurse, presumably Nazimah, came back. Me and Jen headed back towards the nurses station. "So what's bothering you Avi?" she asked. "Do I have phone privileges?" I asked, straight to the point. She nodded. "How do I use them?" I asked. "Follow me." she beckoned and led me behind the nurses station to a small room with a phone. "Use this. At the moment, I have to supervise all of your phone calls. Sorry Avi. It's just temporary until you have had a few private sessions with Abby and she approves this." Jen apologised. "Thanks." I said and I dialled up the number I'd memorised eons ago."

The phone rang. No one answered. Jen gave me a pitiful look as I tried again. This time on the fourth ring I heard someone pick up.

A: "Hello? This is Avi. Who am I speaking to?" I asked nervously.

M: "Avi hi honey. It's Mum." I heard her squeal. She sounded very excited to hear from me so soon. I heard her shout to the household "Guys come here, it's Avi."

A: "Hi Mum. How are you?" I asked.

M: "I'm good. How are you honey? That's more important. You're on speaker by the way." She pushed.

A: "I'm good. Really good. Great even. I have a roommate named Kevin, he's Christian. He's super nice and very welcoming. He calls me brother. He has OCD and is in my group. We are group 4 and there's five of us but we are also friends with two group 3's. Three means their condition isn't as bad. They are roommates called Jake and Alex. They are super nice and welcoming. Jake has OCD and Alex has selective mutism and social anxiety. In the fours we also have Scott and Mitch, who are roommates. Scott is really tall and blonde and has insomnia. Mitch is shorter and skinny and a diva a lot of the time. He had bipolar disorder and some thing called Peter Pan Syndrome which makes him super childish. It's very cute when he isn't having a tantrum. There's also Kirstie. She has anorexia and epilepsy but she's so smart Mama. She's really short with dyed blonde hair and a really cute side smile. We have group therapy together five times a week and one to one therapy once a week, with one night off. I have my one to one therapy tonight after Mitch and before Kirstie. Kevin and Scott have theirs on Sunday. There's a really nice nurse called Jen, who actually let me use the phone. She helped me the other night when I had an episode after a nightmare. Kevin helped too. And our therapist is called Abby and she is very nice too and very supportive, always reassuring us when we feel bad." I said, very quickly and excitedly.

M: "That sounds great Avi. I'm so glad you're happy there. I was doubting whether we made the right decision sending you there." Mum said.

A: "Thank you for doing so Mum. I really needed it. Can I talk to Esther please?" I asked.

M: "Um yeah. We'll give you two some privacy." Mum said before I heard loads of footsteps leave the carpeted room. They must have been in Esther's room so they could all hear me.

A: "Hi Essie." I said nervously.

E:" Hi Avi. I would say how are you but you sound good. Great even." She teased.

A: I laughed. "Shut up." I paused. "How are you Essie?"

E: "I'm good Avi. I still have good days and bad days. Today is a bad day and it hurt too much to get up so I'm in bed. But the bad days are getting less. My physical therapist said my core strength is improving and soon I'll be able to push my own wheelchair." She said proudly.

A: "That's great news Essie. Soon you can use that thing independently." I said.

E: "Avi," she began, now serious, "You had a nightmare."

A: "Yeah I know. It was bad and he usual but Kevin and Jen helped me through it. And anyway that was two nights ago. Last night I had no nightmares and slept through the whole entire night. Can you believe it!" I exclaimed, now the proud one. Esther laughed and to hear me make my sister laugh after the pain I caused her, no after what happened to her, us, it made me feel so so happy. "But That's not all. I was with my friends and Kirstie managed to make me admit that it wasn't my fault." I said, getting quieter towards the end. This was unnoticed by her and she continued.

E: "It's about fucking time Avi. When you got kicked out of the ICU when you kicked off, I thought you'd never say that. I'm so so SO proud of you." She said with a shaky voice and I could hear her crying down the phone. Jen tapped my shoulder and it was only now I realised how long I'd been on the phone. It was five minutes until dinner.

A: "Umm... Essie I have to go now. I love you so much. Can you pass my love onto everyone else please?" I asked.

E: "Of course brother. I love you too. Now, go and get the Kirstie girl you clearly like. Bye." Esther said. The way she said 'clearly, showed me there was no point in trying to hide it from her. She knew me too well.

A: "Bye. Good luck with physical therapy." I said before hanging up the phone.

"Thanks Jen." I said, smiling at her. "No problem Avi. Now hurry along to the cafeteria. It's sausages and mash tonight." Jen said, leaving. I left too and made my way quickly down to the cafeteria, eager to see Kirstie again.

When I got there, everyone else was already there. My tray even beat me to dinner. "Thanks." I said, leaving it open to whoever got my my tray. Kevin prayed quickly and we began to eat. "Where were you bro?" Kevin asked, looking right at me. Everyone else was too. "I went find Jen. I found her with the 5's and I watched them whilst she went to find someone to cover her. She let me use the nurses phone and I spoke to my family." Kevin's eyes widened. "How was it?" "It was great, they're doing well."

"Did you talk to your sister?" Scott asked, straight to the point. Only Kevin knew what had happened but the others all heard me mention her name in my first panic attack, well not Kirstie but the boys. This blunt question caused them ALL to stop eating and look at me. The pressure and reminder of my sister caused the feelings of guilt and anxiety to wash over me again. It bubbles up as the snake squeezed my gut, and flowed to my lungs so that I couldn't breathe properly. I was hyperventilating. It reached my brain, causing me to get dizzy. My pulse quickened and raced and I felt like a jockey and my heart was the out of control horse and I couldn't fix it. I began to see spots.

I heard muffled shouts as the ringing in my ears got louder and began to drown out the cries. I didn't even know who they were from. I felt something hit my back and saw a bright light shining in my eyes. I felt like I was about to pass out when I felt a tapping on my palm. I focused on it as it was the only non-nauseating thing my senses could detect and slowly felt my pulse and breathing slow down a little. The ringing in my ears subsided enough to make out what was being whispered in my ear. "It's Alright Avi. Calm down. Breathe. Copy my breathing. You're okay. Nothing can hurt you. I've got you. Just breathe with me come on honey." I copied the breathing of the persons chest I could feel on my back. They were taking painfully slow, purposeful breaths and I slowly copied them.

I was able to realise that the tapping was repetitive. Tap Tap break Tap Press Tap Tap break Press Press Press break Tap Tap Tap Press break Tap break Press Tap Press Press break Press Press Press break Tap Tap Press break and repeat. "Can you focus on me now Avi?" I heard the whisper say, still tapping on my palm. I nodded. I recognised the voice. It's melodic tone and slight Texan accent. It was Kirstie. I looked around and the bright light came into focus. It wasn't heaven but a ceiling light. That's when I realised that I'd fallen off of my chair, which was the thump, and was sprawled on the floor looking up and the ceiling, positioned like I'd just gotten shot, with Kirstie next to me, cradling me. Kevin was on my right looking at me. The others were a bit further back giving me breathing room and Jen was standing over me, concern written across her face.

"Avi honey where are we?" Kit asked. "Umm." I looked around. "Caf-Cafeteria." I half said, half asked. "Good baby that's correct. Now what were we having for dinner?" She asked, equally as calm and soothing as the last time. "Sausages and Mash." "Good hun, one more. What colour are my eyes?" I looked into her eyes. They were calm and mesmerising. "A beautiful brown." I choked out. "Thanks Avi. Are you okay now?" She asked. I nodded then realised I should probably give a verbal answer. "Yes I'm okay. Thanks Kitty." "No problem Avi. I'm not strong enough to help you up. Kevin is on your right. He'll help you." She said, standing up. "Okay." I mumbled as I felt Kevin take my arm. He helped me stand up and steadied me as a I wobbled. He led me to his upright chair and sat me down.

I put my head on the desk and breathed for a minute, feeling someone rub my back. I looked around and saw the entire cafeteria staring at me. I blushed a deep red and looked at the person rubbing my back. It was Jen. "Are you okay Avi?"

She asked. I nodded. "Are you still up to going to therapy tonight?" She asked again, knowing it would be easier for me to talk to Abby privately about this episode rather than to her, as she wasn't qualified to make sense of the mess called my brain. I nodded again. "Okay. Finish your meal if you can. If not, you and Kevin only have a free pass to head to your room. Okay?" "Okay, thanks Jen." I said, slightly upset she said Kevin and not Kirstie.

I moved to my own seat and meal and began to eat slowly, not wanting to upset my anxious stomach. I looked up at Kirstie and said "Thank you. For what you did there. Most people wouldn't know what to do or freak out themselves." "No problem." She smiled, "I know how that feels and that you want a calm person to help you, not a scared one or a whole gathering of people." She said. I nodded. "Anyway, blame Scott. It's his fault." Ah yes, the question. I turned to Scott, actually everyone did. "I'm so so so sorry Avi. I didn't mean to upset you. I'm so sorry." He said, and I could see the guilt and sadness in his eyes, like I did with mine everyday. I didn't want that for him. "It's fine Scott. You didn't understand. I forgive you."'I said. He got up tiredly and hugged me. I hugged him back before Mitch interfered, still infantile. "Where's my cuddle!" Kirstie leaned over and gave him one. Jake hugged Alex and Kevin. Perfect.

He sat back down to spoon feed Mitch and I looked at Kirstie. She'd cut up her sausages into sixths. She had two more than the rest of us. I took a sixth of one and popped it into my mouth to help her the way she'd helped me. She smiled. "So what was that pattern you were tapping on my hand?" I asked her after swallowing. It was her turn to blush now, a pale pink as she was naturally super pale, or maybe unnaturally. "It's not a pattern. It's morse code." She stated. "So what did you tap to me?" I rephrased. "Umm." She looked down and spooned some mashed potato into her mouth so that she wouldn't have to talk to me. I let her do this as it meant she'd be eating. After she'd amazingly cleared her plate, she looked back at me, now with no distractions.

"I tapped 'I love you.'"


	13. Confession part 1

Part 13:

Before I could reply to that heart warming admission of love, Mitch grabbed my shoulder. I jumped, and shot up and turned to look at him. He didn't realised he'd just done something very stupid as he hadn't flipped yet and was still stubborn toddler Mitch. Better than zombie Mitch I suppose. "Avi come with me. We have therapy and so does Kitty Kat and we need to go now. My therapy is is ten minutes and Scott is going to nap so he can't escort me so you have to do it." He demanded.

I looked to Kirstie and she nodded, and mouthed 'I normally take him it's your turn Kaplan'. I gave her and Scott a super frown and the entire table laughed. I turned back to Mitch and before I could say anything, he carried on talking.

"That's a funny face. Scottie said pulling funny faces was bad as it was rude. If the wind changes when you pull a funny face, it sticks. Forever and ever and ever and ever and ever. I would hate that. But this funny face is cool, don't tell Scottie I did this though." He said and narrowed his eyes slightly and pursed his lips a little and removed his smile. He kept his mouth open and stared at me in the eyes. My eyes widened as Mitch was pulling a sexy model pose for me thinking it was a funny face. What the hell as Scott doing with him?!?!?!

"No Mitch don't do that to him." Scott said as he snapped to life again, like a wind up toy, and grabbed Mitch by the arms and span him around so that Mitch was looking at him. He dropped the funny face and widened his eyes in terror. It made sense actually; Scott was permanently tired and falling asleep, like an unwound clockwork doll, and Mitch wound him up, literally annoying him, and metaphorically giving him life and purpose in this hospital.

Mitch turned so that he was looking at me again and scowled at me. "You said you wouldn't tell Scottie." He cried, throwing a childish tantrum. I hadn't said anything. At all. Not one word in this entire conversation. Despite me being in the centre of it. "You said you wouldn't tell Scottie. You promised. You lied. Liar liar pants on fire!" He cried, stomping his feet and whining annoyingly. He shook his hands in front of him, truly like a toddler and tears poured down his cheeks. I didn't know what to do and Scott too was clearly startled. And in came SuperKirstie to save the day.

"Hey Mitchie. Calm down, it's okay." She soothed. "He didn't tell Scott. And you shouldn't have disobeyed Scott. No matter what he may be teaching you." She said, questioning Scott's actions and calming Mitch down. "Now Mitch, say sorry to Avi or neither of us will take you to therapy." She warned him, somehow managing to make a threat sound adorable. I shouldn't be thinking about her that way; I've known her for like three days. And one magical night. And a bad one.

Mitch took some deep breaths and walked over to me. He jumped into my arms and apologised into my chest, coating my shirt with snot. Great. "Let's get you cleaned up Mitch and then we can go." I told him. He took my hand and I led him out of the cafeteria with Kirstie following. 'Sorry' Scott mouthed at her. She mouthed back 'pedo' and he turned bright red.

We went into the boys bathroom, even Kirstie, and I picked him up and sat him on the counter, next to the sinks. She got a tissue from the hand dispenser and threw away the first one, and took the second one. She wet it under the tap and drained it slightly before wiping Mitch's eyes, cheeks, and then his nose, whilst he giggled and squirmed. She threw the tissue into the bin and got a fresh, dry one. She folded it twice and held it over his nose. "Blow." She instructed. He did and she scrunched the tissue up and threw it in the bin and washed her hands.

I picked Mitch up and put him back on the floor and dried his face with a dry tissue. He nuzzled into my chest, seeking comfort. "Do you feel better now baby?" Kirstie asked. He looked at her and pulled away, looking confused. "Yeah I'm fine. I can't wait to see Abby. She's so so so nice and always gives me a lolly pop whilst I'm in there. Let's go. Come on. Race you!" He yelled, dashing out of the room, leaving us to stare at the space he once used to occupy. We looked at each other before Kirstie dashed out of the room. "Mitch, get back here!" She yelled.

I checked my watch, it had been nine hours. Alex won the bet. And now I had to deal with a hyper Mitch. I ran out do the room and down the corridor, trying to find Kirstie and Mitch. It took a minute or two until I found Kirstie leaning against a wall looking at Mitch, who was staring at a painting on the wall. It was a field and the sky was full of hot air balloons. It was actually quite nice.

"Come on Mitch." I began, "Let's WALK to therapy." I specified. Looking at Kirstie, she couldn't run any further. He walked slightly ahead of us and I took Kirstie's hand and held it. "Are you alright?" I asked, remembering what happened last time she ran. "Yeah, I'm fine. Just the food and the running don't seem to be agreeing with me." She said. "Do you feel sick?" I asked, now concerned. "A bit, but I'll be fine." She said.

"You better get your £10 out." I sighed. "Oh yeah, Alex is victorious." She said. She looked very sad. "What's wrong Princess?" I asked. "Nothing." She said, dropping my hand. "Don't lie to me." I teased. "It's just... umm... I d-don't have te-ten pounds." She stuttered. I thought everyone had money. "Why did you bet them?" I asked, stroking her hair and tucking it behind her ear. "Kevin normally pays for me and I pay him back when I get the chance." Oh.

"I'll cover you baby. Just tell me why you don't have money now but will do later." "My parents don't give me money, they don't visit me at all anymore after how I became anorexic. Jen let's me do some jobs for her and pays me a little money per chore. It saves her time and lets me pay Kevin back. But because of the surgery and recovery time, I haven't been able to do any jobs for a while and now have no money." She said.

It's must be hard being here at such a young age with no outside support. "I'll help you out." I said. She leaned into me and rested her head on my chest. "Thank you Dragon." She mumbled. I liked that. Dragon. I hope it sticks. Pride welled up in my chest and made me smile cheesily.

We reached Abby's office and Mitch went straight in. Me and Kirstie day outside waiting. She leaned into my chest and fell asleep. I stroked her hair and must have also dozed off after my busy day, because the next thing I knew, Mitch was shaking my arm. "Avi get up. It's your turn. Abby wants to talk to you. She's in a very good mood. She said I'm making progress and gave me a lolly pop. I got my favourite flavour, strawberry, and it tastes so good. Maybe Kitty will take one this time. Come on you need to go." He rambled, waking Kirstie up too. She sighed and sat up and released me.

I took a deep breath and went in.

"Hello Avi." Abby said. "Hi Abby." I said and sat down in the new seating arrangement. There were two chairs facing each other, and I sat in the one she wasn't occupying. "How have you settled in?" She asked. "Good. I've made some nice friends." I said. "Yes, Jen told me you and Kevin have been getting in very well. That's good. She also told me about a couple of incidents, one earlier, and one the other night." She said. "Yeah. Umm, the other night I had this dream. It's a recurring dream actually. Well, more of a nightmare."

I took a deep breath and continued. "Me and Esther are in the car and I'm driving to the hospital to see him. We are running late. We argue and make up and I look at her and she looks terrified and then we crash." I said. I was shaking and Abby passed me a tissue. It was then that I realised I was crying. "Take a deep breath Avi. You don't need to tell me unless you're ready." "No no, I want to get this off of my chest." I paused for a minute or so.

"The dream ends there but I remember waking up upside down and the pain. It hurts. My ribs really hurt and I'm dizzy. I look over to Esther and she's unconscious but the dashboard had collapsed and she is bleeding from her stomach. She is so so pale." I said and my voice broke due to tears. She put one hand on my leg and it grounded me enough to continue.

"She wouldn't wake up no matter what I said and if I shook her. I heard sirens and paramedics began to pull me out. I yelled at them about my sister and they said to me to not worry. They loaded me into a stretcher and told me that they couldn't get her out of the car, her legs were trapped and they were waiting for the fire brigade to turn up and cut her out. I began to fight them and they sedated me. I woke up in the hospital with a bandage around my chest and head and my Mum was there. She was crying. She told me my father was fine and so was I. I'd broken two ribs and had a concussion. I asked about Esther and her tears got heavier."

I paused again. "The nurse helped me into a wheelchair and took me to the ICU where I saw her. She was so pale and lifeless and had so many tubes attached to her body to keep her alive. She was in a coma and I stayed by her side for weeks. When she finally woke up her memory was confused and she kept rambling random nonsense. They said she could think straight but the link between her brain and her mouth was confused and she was saying the wrong words. It took three days for her to speak properly and the first thing she said was "It's not your fault Avi." This made me flip out. It was my fault and I started yelling and had a major PTSD episode. The nurses had to wrestle me out of there and sedate me." I broke again.

"I wasn't allowed in there until they moved her to a spinal injury ward. She was paralysed from the waist down and in a lot of pain. She's getting better now but is still bed bound some days." I finished, still crying.

Abby smiled at me sympathetically. "And what about you." She said, even though I knew she knew this bit. "The PTSD got worse, even with weekly therapy and I got depressed and violent. My episodes got worse and I got suspended from school. I accidentally hurt my brother and my parents sent me here to make me better."

She gave me another tissue. "It's Okay Avi. You didn't mean to do those things and everyone knows that. Esther is getting better and now you need to too. Just take your time. You need to accept that it wasn't your fault." She said. "I did." I mumbled. "You what! When!" She exclaimed, excited. "Earlier, Jake took us into the rain and Kirstie yelled to make herself feel better. We all did and I yelled that it wasn't my fault, it was the drunk driver." "And do you believe that?" She asked hopefully, leaning forward. I nodded. "That's amazing Avi. A major breakthrough in your first solo session. That's a first for me Avi. Well done." She said.

We discussed my meds and episodes, including the one from earlier and this helped me to feel better. She gave me a blueberry lolly pop afterwards and I headed back outside. Kirstie and Mitch were playing with a tic tac toe board left out for those who wanted to use it. They saw me and Kirstie jumped into me, hugging me. She knew I felt sad. "Are you okay?" She asked, cupping my chin with her hand and looking at me in the eyes. "Yeah. I'll talk to you about it later." I mumbled. She headed in and me and Mitch played with the game for forty five minutes until she came out.

She had no lolly pop and looked a upset too. We walked hand in hand back to 108 and Mitch ran ahead. He began to recite his session to Scott and I noticed everyone dig out money and give it to Alex. I did the same. "What's that?" Mitch asked. "Don't worry about it." Scott said.

They chatted whilst me and Kirstie cuddled until it was time to go to bed. I got ready and after getting my meds, snuck out to see her. She was laying on her bed, crying into her pillow. She didn't hear me come in. I sat on the bed next to her and rubbed her back, helping her like she did to me earlier. After about twenty minutes she sat up and looked at me, her tears glinting in the moon light. She still somehow looked beautiful. "Can I talk to you?" She asked.


	14. Confession part 2

Part 14:

"Of course baby. What's the matter?" I asked soothingly, talking to her as calmly as I could. She inhaled deeply and exhaled a shaky breath, releasing another sob at the same time. Was this related to her money thing?

"Umm... what did Kevin tell you about why I was here?" She asked. "Nothing that you haven't told or shown me. You're anorexic. You also happen to be epileptic and seriously smart. And beautiful." I added. She giggled weakly at that, and I extended my arm to hover in the space between us. I remembered how she'd waited for confirmation from Alex to hug him yesterday, so I thought I should do that same thing. She shook her head and pulled back against the wall.

This hit me in the gut. The girl I'd cuddled with only twenty four hours ago and the same girl that slept on my chest four hours ago, now couldn't touch me. She couldn't be too close to me. She curled herself into a fifty pound ball, bones jutting out at awkward angles. She was so small. So so small. I loved her dammit and I couldn't hold her and comfort her when she was crying.

I stood up and sat on one of the chairs in her room, the one closest to the bed. I looked around properly for the first time. It was a single room, I didn't know they had single rooms here. Obviously there was only one bed, facing the door. She had an ensuite bathroom, smart. Give an anorexic kid with undiagnosed bulimia her own bathroom. She had three chairs, one was a desk chair for her desk, one was an armchair, and the other wasn't exactly a chair, more of a stool. The other rooms I'd been in all had more furniture than this. And they had things in the middle of the room.

All of her furniture was around the edges of the room, with a large, open space in the middle. Oh idiot. Of course it was around the edges. If she had a seizure in here and collapsed, she'd have less of a chance of hurting herself with this set up.

She sat up and uncurled herself. She sat, cross legged in the middle of the bed like a schoolchild and looked at me. "Okay... I'm sorry... I just couldn't." She stuttered, trying not to cry again. "It's fine hun. Take your time." I said, reassuring her. She nodded and took a couple of deep breaths. "Okay, when I was five months old I took my first steps. Literally the next day I said my first words. It was a short sentence 'Mama I'm hungry.' but that's when my parents realised my intelligence was above average. They pushed me until I could walk and talk independently when I was seven months. They began to push me academically until I could speak fluent Italian and Spanish by the time I turned two and could do maths years at an early secondary school level. They put me forward for competitions when I was two. I always won, but never got 100% due to human error and my young age."

"They didn't care though and yelled at me and refused me food when I got a question wrong. My study sessions built up until it was basically whenever I was conscious. There was prize money, lots of it. That's why they entered me into the competitions. They weren't proud of what I could do, I was simply a lucky money making scheme. My scores got better and I did begin to get 100%. But it wasn't enough. They wanted more. I couldn't give more, no matter how hard I studied. Whenever I had to pull out due to a seizure, they punished me. They would force me to compete until I collapsed in front of the crowds. They didn't accept me, they labelled me as disabled."

"I wanted to be accepted. I wanted to be the perfect daughter. I decided that if I couldn't fix my mind I would fix my body. I refused food to try and loose weight as I decided that skinny equalled beautiful. Everyone started telling me to stop but I didn't as I wasn't accepted by them yet. Eventually social workers took me away and I spent a couple of years in and out of hospitals until my last hospitalisation here two years ago." She paused. "And that's the story of me." She finished. She looked more relaxed now, now that she had gotten that off of her chest.

It made perfect sense. It explained the eating disorder, anxiety, the brains, and the clear need to please. Poor kid, what a crappy childhood. I sat still for a minute, processing her story and how parents could not love their child, and even more how someone could not love Kirstin Taylor Maldonado. I decided to break my silence. "That's horrible. I'm so sorry you had to go through that Kirstie. Do you have an outside home?" I asked. She shook her head. "I'm scared to leave here; I don't know where I'll go. I can't leave Kevin, he protects me." She said. "Can I protect you?" I asked. She nodded. "When we get out of here, you will come home with me. You can meet my siblings and my parents. They're super kind and will love you." I said.

She froze. Did I say something wrong? I began to panic, and feared I was going to have another panic attack. She stopped me. She lunged forward and sat on my lap, cuddling into my chest. "It's okay Avi. I'm sorry. I would love that thank you so so so much." She said. My breathing began to slow and I held her, content in this moment. I had my Kirstie. "You have to get better first." I reminded her. "So do you." She retorted. "I am. Abby said I made a major breakthrough earlier and I had no nightmare last night. Scott told me you aren't. You haven't gotten any better since being admitted." I said.

She flinched like I'd just stabbed her with a dagger. She recoiled and pulled herself out of my embrace. She began to cry again. "I'm trying. I'm trying Avi, I really am. It just so so hard. And it's scary. The surgery it... it hurts. I don't know if I can do it." She sobbed. I hesitated in front of her again and this time she nodded. I scooped her up into my arms and cradled her on her bed, rocking her side to side like a baby. Her crying slowed. "You CAN do this Kirstin. You are amazing and can do anything you put your mind to. I'll do it with you and we'll get better together and then go home together to a happy family." I said. She looked up at me, tear tracks staining her face. "You promise?" She shakily whispered. "I promise." I said.

She began to yawn in my arms and I picked her up and placed her in her bed, me next to her, in the same positions as yesterday but with her facing towards he, nuzzled into my chest. I wrapped my arms around her, enveloping her into a bear hug, and she curled into a ball in my chest, with my chin resting gently on the top of her head.

She fell asleep immediately and I followed her, knowing I'd tell her my story tomorrow. I helped her relax and she let me sleep, her pure energy banishing my nightmares, giving me another peaceful night.


	15. Jail

Part 15:

I did it! I spoke yesterday! In a group! I can't believe it. I just kind of lost myself in the moment. It was raining and we were having so much fun running around. I felt myself wanting to laugh audibly, but I felt too scared too. When everyone began to yell into the thunder, I wanted to too. And I did. I swore. "Fuck!" I did it. I felt my cheeks heat up and Jake turned to stare at me. He was beaming. I felt amazing making him feel so happy. He hugged me and his simple contact radiated warmth throughout my entire body.

But it didn't last long. Of course, there were issues indoors. Panic attacks, flips, mutism. The usual. However, when Avi, Kirstie, and Mitch returned to 108, I beamed at Mitch's behaviour. Hell Yeah, I won. I won the bet. They all groaned, apart from Mitch who became confused , and paid me, Avi paying for himself or Kirstie. She'd push herself to work for Jen until she could pay him back. They cuddled on th bed and me and Scott began to arm wrestle. It looked like the vein in Kevin's forehead would burst as we moved around, as he feared us messing up his meticulous bedroom. We should probably stop. We did and leant on each other laughing. I really like Scottie, he's funny and outgoing and can handle anything, even another broken child on top of himself. I have great respect for the noodle. 

"Guys you should probably go. It's getting late." Kevin warned. I pulled out my notepad and pen and began to scribble on it. "Yeah, Thanks Kevin. Sorry about earlier. Goodnight x" I wrote. He read it and laughed. "It's fine Ali, I trust you. Goodnight." He said. I couldn't hug him, he didn't like it, so I ran over to Avi's bed and gave Kirstie a giant hug instead. She normally enjoys my hugs but didn't this time, flinching in my grip, so I let her go and wished Avi a silent good luck. Instead, I picked Mitchie up and span him around, hugging him for all three of my family members. He laughed and squealed, hyper Mitchie loving this. Me and Jake went to bed and I slept through the night. 

I woke up the next morning to a knock on the door. Jake wasn't in the room, he liked to use the hospital gym every Thursday and Sunday morning, so I assumed it was him knocking. He always carried his room key so the knocking was unusual. However I still expected him to be at the door, but Mitch. I literally didn't believe that Mitch could knock; I'd never known him to knock before. He seems to have flipped, he was sobbing but not hitting like infantile Mitch. This must be the rare sad Mitch. I opened my arms to him and he leapt into them. 

"What's wrong Mitchie?" I wrote with my one free hand after I lay him down onto my bed." "C-Can I tell you a se-secret?" He stuttered. I nodded. "Even Sc-Scott doesn't know this." He began. "The day before Avi arrived, I briefly went catatonic. It was only for an hour or so but Jen knew I had to be cared for, so she got Devon to toilet me so that she could attatch me to the monitors again without me having an accident. He carried me to the toilet and as usual, I was fully alert, just unable to move, so when he... he... I-I can't..." Mitch trailed off, sobbing again. This was unusual for someone with Peter Pan, that mug I knew. He was acting his real age, which he NEVER did. What thif fuck had happened to him? 

"Okay... he touched me..." he whispered the word touched, "there... and stroked it... and I couldn't move but I could see him do it... and I was like a posable doll so it was a bit hard... and he then moved his hand up to my chest, running over my whole body... and kissed me..." he began to howl. Holy fuck! How could he, that's molesting. That's paedophilia. That's sick. I felt sick but I had to protect Mitchie. He told me this, not Scott. I had to help him. I'd never been able to talk around Mitch before as his hyper nature imtimidated me, but this was a different Mitch. This Mitch was weak, vulnerable, and slightly broken. I could talk to him; I needed to. 

"It's okay Mitchie. You're safe now. Does Jen know?" I asked him. His eyes widened and then he smiled a little at me. "Y-Yeah... I told her and she didn't believe me. You know, because of my diagnoses, and she trusted Him. But I told her to check CCTV and she said she would." He said, calming down a little. "That's great Mitchie. She'll watch it and you'll never have to see him again." Normally, I would doubt Mitch too in this situation, as he is easily able to turn on the water works for his self gain, but I'd never seen him this serious and adult like. I believed him, but God did I wish I didn't. "You need to tell Scott. He's permanently glued to your side and is like so tall he can easily beat the crap out of Devon if he comes near you." He whimpered but then paused and nodded. "I'll walk you to your room and you can get dressed and talk to Scott." He nodded again.

I took his hand and walked him to his room as he death squeezed my hand, fully alert to spot and run away from Devon. I was too to be honest. That sick bastard. If I saw him I would confront him, and I couldn't talk, I'd show him my anger. Maybe hurt his private parts a bit and see how he likes it. No one hurts my Mitchie! He went in and I ran back to my room and got dressed and made my bed, so Jake wouldn't get mad. I hope this goes well. 

\- - -

I'd just come out of Todrick's room after giving him his morning meds and was about to go and refill my trolley when I ran into Scott and Mitch hanging out in front of the nurses station. Scott appeared to be fuming and was pacing, his fists balled up into his side. Mitch on the other hand had visibly been crying, his cheeks were red and puffy and his eyes were slightly swollen; he had visible tear tracks scarring his cheeks. "What's going on?" I asked them, wanting to know what had happened. "Devon. Have you watched the CCTV yet?" Scott spat through gritted teeth. I was going to do that later, it wasn't a priority as Mitch has been known to lie about a lot of things. "Not yet, I was going to do it later." I answered truthfully. "Do it now!" Scott basically growled, whilst Mitch cowered into his side. This concerned me, Mitch wasn't weak. Tiny yes but weak, no.

"Okay. Do you want to come with me?" I asked them as I headed into the back room of the nurses station, and rewound camera 16 to the date and time Mitch had mentioned. I found it and pressed play. It was normal. Devon toileted Mitch and carried him out of the cubicle, where I could now see them. Devon washed Mitch's hands and then his own. And then what I saw made me do a double take. Mitch was right! He touched and stroked him and kissed him. I could see the terror in Mitch's eyes from the camera. Devon probably liked that. He's fired. No he's going to fucking prison. Who else did I leave him alone with recently? Shit Kirstie! He tubed her privately. I'll have to talk to her. 

"Oh my God. I'm so so sorry Mitch. Don't worry, he is fired and I'm calling the police right now." I did so and let them stay in my office, despite breakfast having had started. Someone needs to finish meds. "India, can you finish the mess of rooms 101 onwards?" I asked into my radio. "Sure." She said. That was sorted. I rang 999 and they were on their way. "Okay Mitch, they will ask you to give a statement as we couldn't see the actual toileting and he will probably make up some kind of lie that you told him to in there, despite being catatonic." Mitch nodded. "What is he on?" I asked Scott. "He's abnormally lucid today." Scott said. Well that was probably a good thing. The police needed to believe everything he said and some of Mitch's flips are rather irritating, though it is not his fault. 

One of the security guards directed the police officers to the nurses station and I played them the video. They were horrified too and took Mitch's statement, though he kept it really brief. I got the satisfaction of radioing Devon. "Hey Devon, can you come and help me at the nurses station STAT!" I ordered. I heard footsteps slapping on the hard floor and he came over. He saw the police and a teary Mitch and eyed the door, preparing to bolt. The larger officer grabbed his wrist and cuffed him, whilst the other read him his rights. He looked down at his feet and let them lead him out of here. 

I looked to Mitch. "What do you want to do now bud?" I asked him sweetly. "Breakfast with friends?" Scott asked basically, so Mitch could completely understand it, just in case. "No... shower." He said. Scott nodded. "Okay then Mitchie, let's go, but you're eating all of your lunch." I giggled at this, they would make an adorable couple. "Do you want to race?" Scott asked. Mitch shook his head and took Scott's hand and leant into his side. I hope he flips to a happier mood, for his own sake, and Scott's. I also hope Devon burns in hell!


	16. Hectic

I woke up this morning alone, yet again. I was expecting it. I mean Avi and Kirst really hit it off, you know, sleeping together, kissing in the rain, morse code. How romantic. Being trapped in this place for so long, there wasn't really much to do apart from play matchmaker; one couple down, two to go. I got up promplty and got ready to allow Avi the bathroom quickly when he got back from Kirstie so that he wouldn't be late for breakfast. I sat in my bed and read the new book my mum and sister had brought for me yesterday in visitation. It was so nice to see them and they gave me loads of hugs. Abby told them I may be able to get out in the next eight months or so, which meant I would be out just before my sisters birthday. That was my goal. 

Avi snuck in and I decided to quiz him immediately. "So 'Dragon', How was it last night?" I asked, smirking at the nickname. "Not the greatest." He sighed. This made me shoot up, now concerned for my best friend and my sister. "What happened?" I asked. He took a deep breath, "She was scared of me Kevo." What? Why would she be scared of Avi, he's harmless. "What do you mean?" I asked. "Well she was crying so I tried to comfort her and she pulled away from my touch and cowered against the wall. She told me her entire story, it's awful Kevin, and then I made her a promise. When we both get out of here together, she will live with me and my family, they're lovely people. She liked this idea. But when I told her Scott told me she hasn't improved, she became hysterical and I had to rock her until she calmed down. We slept alright though as we were both exhaustrd. I told her my story this morning and she accepts me for who I am and what I accidentally did or didn't prevent from happening. I was scared she would hate me." He finished, accidentally monologuing. 

"Well it's a bit mixed but you two are being open and honest with each other. And the main reason I think she wasn't getting better was because she had no motivation. Unlike the rest of us, she had nothing waiting for her in the outside world she she feared where she would end up, so she didn't get better. You might be enough to save her Avi."I said, "I'm beginning to fear she will just die in here." I whispered, telling the truth but hating it. The next words out of his mouth warmed my heart, "I won't let that happen." He declared. "Now I'm going to get dressed and you're going to tell me properly all about your visitation." She said, and just the mere thought of my family made me beam ridiculously, making Avi laugh. 

We did so and I told him my good news and he seemed truly thrilled for me, and I knew the others would be too. We headed down to breakfast, with me eager to share my amazing news. As per usual, we were the first ones there and we collected everyone else's food, Cheerios or for Kirst, scrambled egg. That's not too bad, she may be able to eat this plate. We waited and Jake and Alex came in and then Kirstie. Scott and Mitch must have been running late. Us boys began to eat our breakfast before it went soggy, Kirstie just frowned at hers. "Where's Scott and Mitch?" I asked, Alex froze. "Alex what are you hiding from us?" I warned, deepening my voice. He looked scared, so I tried to be softer on him. "You can tell us." He pulled out his notepad and pen and began to scribble a long note, more of a letter. 

'Mitch came into my room this morning acting and talking like a normal human being, which was weird but also why I unfortunately believed him. He told me something I can't tell you guys, he has to himself, but I verbally told him to tell Scott. Scott must have taken him to Jen to call the police. That's also explains why Jen didn't do our meds this morning.'

Wow, okay, Mitch acting normal was the first curveball, then him and Alex talking was the second, and then the police! What the frick! "Okay, Thank you Alex." I said. "If they're not here for breakfast then we will go to their room." Jake said. We all agreed. But that meant we had to finish breakfast first. And today just so happened to be the day that Kirstie struggled, again. We spent the entire meal with Avi saying "Please princess, can you just take one more bite, for me, you can't get out of here if you don't." This guilt trip managed to get her to clear a third of her plate in an hour. After that she lay her head on the desk and Avi admitted defeat. We were getting ready to leave when she spoke up. "Alex I don't feel well."'she whimpered. He ran over and looked at her questioningly. She nodded and he wrapped a supportive arm around her back and led her back her bathroom, to lose her breakfast. Avi's face was horrible to look at. He looked so hurt and betrayed and guilty, it made me worry he would have another panic attack. Thankfully he didn't, this time. 

We headed to Scott and Mitch's room and knocked on the door, and a red faced Scott answered. He'd been crying, and judging by the sobbing sounds I could hear from inside his room, Mitch still was, hard. He let us in and we all hugged Mitch and then sat down, waiting for an explanation. "What did Alex tell you?" Scott asked. I passed him Alex's note. He read it and nodded thoughtfully. "Where is Kirstin and Alex?" He asked tiredly. "Bathroom. Kirstie got sick." Jake said. Avi flinched. "We'll wait for them. Mitch can't tell the story twice." He said, with Mitch on his lap, rocking him backwards and forwards, similar to what Avi told me he did to Kirstie last night. 

Ten minutes later Alex walked in with a shaking Kirstie behind him. Avi beckoned her over and she sat on his lap and buried her head in his chest. "Sorry." She mumbled. "It's okay Princess." He soothed. I looked at Alex, along with Jake and Scott and I mouthed 'Voluntary or not?' He held up his index finger to signify voluntary. "What's going on?" She asked, looking at Scott and Mitch. "We don't know." Jake said. "Mitch, are you ready?" Scott asked. Mitch nodded and sat up to face the rest of us. His face was swollen and puffy and red and his eyes were bloodshot from crying so much. He told us the story and all of us were stunned and sickened. That evil bastard. How could he! It was immoral and poor Mitch was as his most vulnerable. Kirstie ran over and hugged him and he cried into her shoulder and she comforted him into his chest. We joined in on the hug and Mitch calmed down. "You'll never see him again." Jake said, rubbing Mitch's shoulder sympathetically. This made Mitch smile and in turn the rest of us smile. 

There was a knock at the door and Jen came in. "Hi guys, is everything alright in here?" She asked. We all nodded as she looked at us and took in all of our states. Apart from a bit teary, we were all alright, though Kirstie was still shaking. "Are you okay Kirst?" She asked. "I threw up." She mumbled. Jen sighed before remembering, "When Devon tubed you alone, he... he didn't do anything to you did he?" She asked. My heart stopped remembering that she had been alone with him at her most vulnerable, just like Mitch had been. "I-I don't think so... its very fuzzy and I was really out of it." She said. Jen nodded and told us to get some fresh air. 

We headed outside and walked around the quad for a bit. Mitch turned around to face us all and said "Why the long faces Kevy?" and he giggled, thinking he had been funny. He'd flipped, thank God. I felt awful watching him revert to this state that wasn't Mitch that his brain trapped him in, but at least for now he was temporarily free of the burden Devon had placed on him. It was good I suppose. He was hyper Mitch so we ended up running around a bit before heading into the common room for a breather before lunch. We took our seats and Scott on Finding Nemo so that Mitch would be distracted for a little bit; he was and so was Kirstie as it was one of her favourite movies. We chatted and relaxed, relieving ourselves on our emotions about what had happened this morning. Most of the conversation was about Mitch and Devon but Avi sidetracked us to Kirstie a little bit. Both of our broken children. We all agreed that it was our duty to protect them no matter what, and with the incident with Devon, and the entirety of Kirstie's hospitalisation, we admitted that we had been failing in our duties. We had to step up. 

I heard a high pitched whimper. It sounded terrified. Everyone's head snapped to Kirstie and she had her head in one arm, with her legs crossed, leaning forward. The other arm was left in her lap, like a dead weight. Avi jumped up and went to her side to help her to the floor, it was safer than staying on the chair, and if anything happened, it would be better if it happened on an easy to clean surface. Me and Alex went to the most open part of the room and began to clear the chairs whilst Scott picked up Mitch and moved him out of the way. Jake ran out of the room, shouting "I'll get Jen!"Avi led her over to us and helped her to the floor, whilst I passed him a cushion to lay under her head. She began to seize just after us and Alex began the timer. Jake and Jen ran into the room just after she started and we all stood waiting for her to stop, or throw up. It wasn't too bad thankfully at 2:08 and she had no involuntary releases. She lay on her side, breathing roughly for a couple of minutes until she came to. She sat up fast and tried to back away as she was often confused and startled when she woke up. Alex got closer to calm her down. She clearly freaked out and took a swing at him, though he lept back just in time.

We waited until some colour returned to her face and she whispered "Ali. I'm so sorry." Alex clearly forgave the little blonde and enveloped her in a giant hug, stroking her hair until she fell asleep in his chest. He picked her up and lay her on Avi's sofa and we all watched the movie until she regained consciousness. What a hectic morning, and it wasn't even twelve yet. Kirstie woke up and Avi kissed her forehead and she hugged him, clearly grateful that he hadn't left her like her parents used to. She told me that. They left her to deal with episodes on her own. Avi would never do that. We slowly headed to lunch and Kirstie and Mitch sat at the table, one weak and one hyper, as we got the trays. We came back to Mitch bugging Kirstie trying to get her to sing to him. She looked at me, her eyes begging me for help and I distracted Mitch with his lunch. She leant into my chest when I sat down and Avi stole a chip. She ate three bites before pushing her tray away and waited for the rest of us to finish. To be honest, today was going to be a lazy day. We'd had a flip, a breakdown, vomiting, a seizure, the police, and a pact being made this morning so we were all a little worn out. 

We headed to 108 and I sat on my stool. Avi sat on the floor leaning against his bed with Kirstie sat in between his legs, with her back resting on his chest. Scott and Mitch were cuddling on Avi's bed, Jake was in the armchair, and Alex was sat by his feet. We put on Avi's favourite movie, Lord Of The Rings And I began to read my book. An hour or so later I heard hushed whispers. I looked over to Avi and Kirstie and found her fidgiting and tapping the floor and shaking her legs in his lap and he was trying to calm her. I grabbed her book and pen and passed it to Avi. He mouthed 'Thank you' and I nodded a 'You're welcome' and he passed her to book. As expected, she began to scribble in it and Avi turned back to the movie. Jake was absolutely loving it and was staring wide eyed at the screen. I was surprised he had never seen this movie. I suppose we now had to have a LOTR/TH marathon. Avi would love that. 

Just then our door flew open and a surprisingly familiar face stared back at us. Someone who I hoped I would never see again...


	17. Return

Part 17:

"Oh my God!" I cried, leaping up and putting my bookmark in my book, to protect it from creases and damage, placed it on top of my stool, and then walked over to the figure at the door. Then I jumped onto him. "Oh my God!" I cried again, hugging the figure before me. "I never thought I'd see you again." I said over his shoulder. Then I pulled back and held him in front of me at arms length, starin at him disappointedly. "I never wanted to see you back here." I said, clearly annoyed. "I know, I'm sorry Kev. I tried but... ugh... it all became too much and I had to release." He said. I sighed. I'd expected this, relapse was common with depression and self harm, but I'd always thought he was better than that. Poor brother. 

"Umm.... who's this?" Avi asked, and I noticed that everyone in the room was staring at us bar Kirstie. "Mattie!!!" Mitch cried, and ran into his arms, jumping up. Matt picked him up and placed him into his back, wincing as he did so. He must have used a knife this time. "Hey Mitchie." Matt smiled, faintly but noticeably. "Hey Matt." Jake and Scott said. Alex waved. "Hi guys." Oh Yeah, Avi's question. Mitch distracted me with his adorableness. "Avi this is Matt. Matt used to be my roommate whilst he was here for six months. He's a three with Jalex." I stated. "Oooh Jalex, I like that." Jake laughed, Alex signed 'Me too' and Avi looked up at Matt. "Hello Matt, it's nice to meet you. I would get yo and shake your hand but as you can see, my laps kind of occupied." He joked, gesturing towards the absent girl on his lap. "No problem Avi. It's nice to meet you. And don't worry about getting up, I know how Kit gets." He said sighing a little at the end. 

"So how long have you been here?" He asked, sitting down next to me on the floor. "About a week. I'm Kevin's roommate and a four." He said. Okay, at least there's another person in the fours, I practically read in his face. "If you don't mind me asking Avi, what are you in here for?" Matt asked. Please don't have a panic attack, please don't have a panic attack. "Umm... PTSD and anxiety." Avi said blandly. "That's rough, sorry man. I was here for depression and self harm. I got admitted after a suicide attempt but got released two months ago." Matt said, clearly surprising Avi about how open he was. "You don't mind do you?" He asked, gesturing to Kirstie. Avi shook his head. "Be careful Mattie, she's had a rough day, so had Mitch actually." I said, warning my buddy. He nodded solemnly. Matt ran his right index finger along Kirstie's forearm and waited. That did nothing to rouse her so he decided to play it hardball and put oneness if his large hands over her pages, forcing her to stare at the hand confused. Then she looked up. When she saw Matt, her eyes widened like two moons and she beamed. "Mattie!" She cried and wrapped her arms around his neck.

"Hey Kitty Kat." He said, smiling and hugging her. "God I missed you. Wait, what are you doing here?" She asked, now concerned. "Just what I wanted to know." I said, holding my book on my lap. "Well... I um went back to school last month and the workload was so intense as I had a lot of catching up to do and kids were calling me a freak and I kinda just fell back to where I started. I began to um, cut again and my parents caught me. I have to spend three days here and then see my local therapist every other day and they're homeschooling me." Matt said. People just don't understand what it's like having mental health issues, be it depression or anxiety or OCD or anorexia, or something less mainstream. This causes them to be understanding jerks. They often don't mean to be, but they are. They always are. 

"I'm so sorry that happened to you Matt. Remember, we're all always here for you." Jake said, smiling pitifully at him. "And also we love love love you." Mitch giggled, tickling Scott to wake him up. I didn't notice Scott drift off. "Hey Matt, have you ever seen Lord of the Rings?" Jake asked. "Yeah, I love it." He said, looking slightly confused as to where this conversation was going. "Same. I just discovered it. It turns out that our Avi is a bit of a Middle Earth junkie." Jake said. "Yeah, I like dragons." Avi said. "Cool." Matt replied, and I could tell that they were going to get on great. 

"Umm hey guys, oh and Matt, I don't mean to bother you but the move was incredibly long and it's time for the three's therapy." Scott said. Alex and Jake jumped up. "Come on Mattie, let's go." They said. Despite Matt only being here for a couple of days, he would still be attending three's therapy as he has a decent relationship with their therapist so he left too. That left just the five of us. "So what now?" I asked, looking at my projects. Project one was cuddling and project two was half relaxing, half poking Scott in the man boobs. Scott looked shattered and Kirstie looked pale. Mitch was fine, I was fine, and Avi was fine. That's a better number than normal. Well if you count Mitch currently forgetting about Devon fine. Which I don't do I suppose we're back to normal. 

"I feel funny." Kirstie said, leaning into Avi. "You've had a rough day Hun, you're probably a bit faint from not eating. Just relax until dinner." Avi soothed. She nodded and fell asleep in his arms. "Guy party." Avi teased. Me and Scott laughed and Mitch looked at us confused. "I'm not a guy." He said. "Well what are you then Mitchie?" Scott teased, tickling his rib cage and making Mitch squeal in fright. Avi flung his arms protectively over Kirstie's ears. "I'm a Queen." Mitch said flamboyantly. "You know what Mitchie, you're right." Avi said. "You're a Queen." "Like Beyoncé" Mitch smiled. "Yes Hun." Scott sighed. "Yay!" Mitch laughed. God I love these guys. We played I Spy with Mitch until Jake, Alex, Matt returned and Avi woke up Kirstie and we all headed to dinner. We got the trays and sat down. 

"Come on baby, you need to eat. You've barely eaten all day." Avi said, taking a forkful of Kirstie's pie crust and eating it for her, exaggerating "MmmMmm." noises. She rolled her eyes and he got another fork of crust and she opened her mouth. He put the fork in her mouth and began to feed her her dinner. 'Baby?' Matt mouthed at me from his seat next to Jake, his eyes wide. I nodded, smirking a little, a lot, and he smiled genuinely. It was cute. "Aww Scottie, why don't you love me like that?" Hyper Mitch asked, tugging on Scott's sleeve. "Okay." Scott said and began to create aeroplanes out of Mitch's food and spoonfed him his dinner. "You need to catch me up Kev." Matt whispered to me. I nodded. 

I organised my food until I felt satisfied with it's order and then began to eat it by colour, starting with the red ketchup and working my way through the real spectrum of light, alternating by colour gradient. As I finished, I looked around me and saw everyone was finished apart from Mitch, Avi, and Kirstie. Mitch finished next and then we were just waiting on the couple. "I can't Avi, no more." Kirstie pleaded as Avi tried to feed her the current beef on the fork. He nodded and looked at her half eaten plate. "Okay Kit. You did really well. How do you feel now?" He asked, smiling reassuringly at her. "Better." She nodded. Avi proceeded to shovel the rest of his plate into his mouth and we cleared the trays awa, Jake explaining to Kirstie's nurse again. 

"Okay, we have fours' therapy but you three are welcome to wait in our room." I told Jake and Alex and Matt. They nodded. "Good luck." Jake said. I nodded at him, knowing we'd need it, as Abby will want to discuss Devon and I'm not sure if Mitch is in the mind space to do so right now. I hope this goes well.


	18. Discussions

Part 18:

We walked, again disjointed, to therapy in the strange looking corridor. Mitchie was running around, bouncing off the walls, still in his hyper flip, and he was pulling me along behind him. What he didn't know was that I didn't sleep at all last night. The only sleep I've had in the last twenty four hours was half an hour during Lord of the Rings and then a short nap after Matt arrived, which I felt very guilty about. I hardly knew the guy as he left shortly after I arrived, but he seemed nice and I completely ignored him.

Mitch was hard to deal with this morning during his almost normal flip, when he remembered what had happened with Devon. God I could kill that man if the police hadn't already taken him away. I mean, I'm tall enough, Mitch doesn't call me a noodle for nothing. I know I can't change what he did to Mitch, but I can still hope that he didn't do anything to Kirstie whilst he was tubing her. I mean, I'm pretty sure he's gay but a paedophile will take what he can get.

Avi and Kevin were walking a little way behind us, with Kirstie tagging slightly behind them, looking around nervously. I dropped back slightly, slowly so that Mitch wouldn't notice, so that I was walking just in front of Avi and Kevin. "Watch Mitch for me would you?" I asked. They nodded and I stopped and let them pass me, waiting for Kirstie to be next to me.

"What's wrong Kitty?" I asked her, using Mitch's nickname for her. "Nothing Scott. Don't worry about me." She mumbled, looking behind her quickly. "You're clearly anxious and I don't want you having a panic attack on me so spill." I said, in the commanding voice that I use with Infantile Mitch. It seemed to work on the youngest member of our group as she looked behind her one last time then at me.

I saw the exhaustion in her face, the others told me about last night and her morning, and I saw her afternoon, the girl must be exhausted. Her eyes were literally closing on her as she walked next to me. She looked more exhausted than me and that's saying something. "It's just, Devon he... he molested Mitch at his most vulnerable, and whilst I was unconscious and then dazed whilst he tubed me, if he did anything to me I wouldn't remember and I'm scared that he did." She said, on the verge of tears, a mixture of fear and tiredness.

"Kirst, if he did anything to you, he will pay for it, trust me. I can ask Jen to check the CCTV in your room. But trust me, no matter what, we love you, Avi loves you." I said. She smiled at this and I wrapped my arm around her. She leant into my side and rested her head on my chest. We walked like this to therapy; Avi and Kevin and Mitch were waiting outside of the door for us.

When we got there, Mitch opened the door and ran in and we followed, taking our usual places, and we began. "Hi guys. How are we today?" Abby began, as usual. Instead of a chorus of okays and goods, we all stared at her like a 'you tell us'. She picked up on it and said "Okay, straight to the point. We don't have much time so I just want a brief sentence or two tonight before discussing Mitch's incident." She said. We nodded.

I went first. "My day was tough. I didn't sleep last night and Mitch had a rough day so I had to care for him." I said. She nodded and wrote this down. "Did you take your sleeping meds?" She asked. I nodded "They don't work." "Okay, we can up your dosage and if that doesn't work, we can switch meds. Is that okay?" She asked, and I nodded again.

Mitch went next and I saw the whole room hold a collective breath. "My day was weird Abby. I chatted to this kind policeman. He gave me a lolly pop like you do. Oh and we watched a weird dragon movie that Jakey liked and guess what, Mattie came back! I am so happy to see him." Mitch said. It wasn't exactly short but for Hyper Mitch, it was decent. His current mind set clearly had blocked out the harsh memories, making tonight's chat more difficult. At least he wasn't sobbing again, that way we'd get nothing out of him. Poor Mitchie.

Then it was Kevin's turn. "Today was a lazy day. I watched TV and cared for my family." He said, looking around at us. This made me smile and Kirstie got up and sat on his lap again, and hugged him. He really was like an older brother/father figure for her.

Kirstie went next. "Today was hard. I couldn't eat and got sick once. I had a small seizure too. But I got to cuddle with my family so that was nice." She said. Again, so sweet. She skipped the Devon thing, but I was sure that would come up later.

Avi went last, as per usual, still a little scared in sharing his thoughts. "Today was... different. My night was a little hard, not due to my nightmares though, and I had to watch Kirstie and Mitch suffer and that was hard. But I met Matt and he likes Lord of the Rings too so that's awesome and we broke Jake's Middle Earth virginity so that was cool." He said, smirking as Kevin laughed his hysterical laugh at the Jake statement. That successfully broke the tension in the room and it was like normal times. The next part however wouldn't be so normal.

"Okay, so I spoke to Jen and she showed me the CCTV footage of Devon and Mitch. Have any of you seen it?" She asked. I raised my hand. "And Mitch has obviously." I said. "Yes, I would like to discuss it with you two at some later date as it was rather... explicit shall we say." I nodded and took Mitch's hand in my own to try and make him focus on Abby. It seemed to help and he stopped wriggling in his seat.

"Jen also checked the CCTV of Kirstie's latest tubing and other CCTV footage of Devon alone with the more vulnerable patients and he didn't do anything to you Kirstie. A couple of the male fives he did some things to, but you're okay sweetheart." She said, dropping the formalities briefly to comfort us. At least we got one small victory out of this. Kirstie relaxed and cuddled into Kevin's chest relieved, whilst Avi smiled but then looked over at her, hurt she wasn't talking to him.

"I want to ask you all if you have any questions or fears about how the incident will be dealt with or just if you have anything surrounding it that you want to get off of your chest. Remember, we don't judge in here." She said. Of course, Kevin, being the mature one, raised his hand. "Yes Kevin." She said.

"So, I'm aware Devon was arrested with pretty solid proof, but what will happen next? I know there will be doubts about the situation with Mitch due to his diagnosis but what will happen?" He asked. Smart question Kevin, I mentally applaud you.

"Good question. So all CCTV footage of all three victims has already been sent to the police. Devon has already been refused bail and the prosecution is trying to try the case as soon as possible due to the obvious slam dunk. Devon has for some reason pleaded not guilty so there will be a trial. They have Mitch's statement but will need to interview him. I know that may be an issue but he's the only victim that can testify to some degree. Jen fears the defence may use his actions against him but remember, Mitch was catatonic, even briefly, so he couldn't have encouraged or allowed Devon to do... that in any way, and even if he could, it's still illegal as he is over sixteen but hospitalised so that law is ignored. He will go to jail Kevin, for a long long time and everyone will move on." Abby said, clearing up all questions regarding how to proceed whilst calming our anger a little. She is so good at her job.

"Anything else?" She asked. I stuck my hand up, surprising myself and everyone else. "Yes Scott." She led kindly. "Okay... um... I need to say something. I feel responsible. I know Kevin does too and Jake and Alex, you need to talk to them about this, not just because of what happened, but because we couldn't protect him. We are supposed to help the more vulnerable patients like Mitch and Kirstie and we haven't been and I feel so guilty." I said.

"Woah, where did my name come from?"

Kirstie asked, heading back to her own chair. "You haven't gotten any better." Kevin said bluntly, very unlike himself. "Okay, Scott first. You have no reason to feel guilty Scott or Kevin or the other two either. I will speak to them don't you worry. You didn't know what Devon would do and you have done a great job in protecting Mitch-"

"But we haven't! He got fucking molested right under our noses by a nurse!" I yelled, cutting her off. That was not allowed in here. I felt even more guilty and burst into tears, the stress and emotions breaking me. I sobbed and Kevin came over and gave me a big bear hug. I sobbed into his chest whilst Kirstie and Mitch held my hands and Avi rubbed my back. My family.

"I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry." I repeated over and over again into Kevin's chest. "It's okay Scott, I'm not mad." Abby said kindly. I quickly pulled myself together and pulled back and the others headed back to their seats. "You have done an amazing job Scott. You're getting better and because of you, so is Mitch. His flips are more manageable because you are there to ground him. But Scott, he isn't your responsibility completely. Don't forget, you're a patient, not a staff member. You're here for yourself too. Take care of yourself." She reminded me. She's right, I do need to take better care of myself, starting with my sleep.

"Why did you say my name Scott?" Kirstie asked me. "You haven't gotten better and you're like a sister to me Kirst and I'm supposed to help you and I'm scared you're going to die here." I said, getting quieter and quieter until I was barely audible by the end. She looked at me hurt.

"I'm so sorry Scott. I love you too like a brother too and you don't need to worry about me. I won't die on you, I promise I'm trying. I'll try harder. I love you." She said and got up hugging me tight, warming my heart but also making me feel worse as my large frame dwarfed her barely covered bones. I could feel each of her individual ribs through both of our shirts. I kissed her forehead and she giggled gently and returned to her seat and I exhaled loudly and leaned back into my chair, feeling much better and suddenly very tired, like I could now relax after having gotten that off of my chest. I knew Abby understood.

"Okay, I know it's early but you all look so tired and it's been a difficult session and day so you can all leave early and get some rest. I will be following up with you all individually though in our one to ones. Goodnight guys." Abby said, standing up and folding her book closed. "Goodnight Abby." We all chorused back and folded up our chairs and put them with the other chairs that we barely ever used, and headed back to our rooms.

The others were going to go and see Jake and Alex and Matt but I was so tired and I could tell Mitch was too, even if he himself couldn't tell, so I made the executive decision for us to turn in early. I held Mitch's hand and headed to the nurses station. I told Jen we were going to bed and she let us take our meds a little early, as long as we didn't tell her superiors, making us laugh.

I helped a now slightly crashing Mitch get dressed for bed and clean his teeth and use the toilet. He wasn't having a crash, it's just that he was still Hyper Mitch but now had no energy so he just collapsed, shattered from bouncing off of the walls all afternoon. I tucked him into bed and got ready for bed myself and turned off the lights. I prayed that he would sleep without remembering Devon.

I wasn't so lucky though and was woken up around midnight to a crying Mitch climbing into my bed. I rolled over and hugged him, being the big spoon, and I rubbed his stomach the way he liked it until he fell back to sleep, and for once, I followed him.


	19. Party

Part 19:

It had been one month since the Day of Devon, and everyone gotten better. Well, most people. Matt was getting out that afternoon and Jen and the gang, along with a few favourite nurses, were preparing to throw him yet another leaving party.

Everyone had their set jobs. Kevin was allowed out of the hospital with nurse Trevor to get decorations and a cake. Avi and I were in charge of organising music and presents. Alex and Scott were helping them until Kevin returned and the three of them would decorate the therapy hall since they were the tallest. Kirstie and Mitch were in charge of distracting Matt for the day. Poor Matt.

Mitch had been prescribed medicine that better controlled his flips. They were less severe and frequent, allowing him to regain some sense of normalcy in his life. Don't get me wrong, he was still insane, but a calmer sort of insane. Kirstie had been tubed again last week but after a strong lecture from Avi, she was trying to eat again. I was doing great; in my last assessment, my OCD tendencies were less controlling and stressful and if I was good for two more months, I would be let out.

Scott was doing about the same, like Kirstie. He'd been trying to relax and get more sleep. Once a week, Jen snuck down one of the physiotherapists called George, who was also a qualified masseuse, and he gave Scott a relaxing massage, which did help him destress. His meds has been switched and he was sleeping more, but still no where near enough. Kevin was around the same, but that was good and he was looking at being released soon too. Alex had taken up a deal with Jack that if he spoke at least ten words a day, he would be allowed to go out every other Saturday afternoon for two hours with me to the local shops. He had been doing his best and hadn't slipped so far, with a little encouragement from the rest of us of course.

Kevin was due back any minute now and me and Avi had almost finished on working on a playlist for Matt. It included lots of different genres, but was mainly pop and music that you could dance to. There was a little 90's music as a request from Kevin, who was a surprising fan of that decade's music.

Scott and Alex had put up the tables and chairs and had done some decorating in Kevin's absence. Honestly, we kind of needed Mitch and Kirstie, especially Mitch; his decorative eye would really come in handy with this task.

Kevin and Trevor walked through the double doors with arms full of bags of decorations and food. Trevor took the refrigerated food to the kitchen and Kevin began to unpack the rest of the food. He put it on the designated food table before coming over to us with the decorations.

Scott took the hangable items and hung them from the ceiling, causing him to have to duck every time he came close to one. Alex and Kevin did the banners and bunting and streamers. Me and Avi had finished with the playlist and gave it to Jen to connect to the sound system aka a crappy pair of speakers. We decided to go and help Kirstie and Mitch so that Matt wouldn't get too suspicious. 

"And then Alex dropped the tray and it clattered loudly across the floor. The potato was thrown up in the air whilst he jumped and ended up in his hair!" Mitch exclaimed, jumping around the room as he explained his story. "Yes and then Jake laughed and wiped the gravy off of his head and licked his finger. And you'll never guess what he said!" Kirstie exclaimed, almost as hyper as Mitch. "No I probably won't." Matt chuckled. Kirstie and Mitch replied in a high patch unison. "He said 'Tasty'!" They yelled before literally falling to the floor laughing. Kirstie jumped up when she saw me and Avi in the room. "Oh... um... hi Jake" she stammered, blushing a deep red and looking at the floor, twiddling her fingers. Mitch turned to look at me and just laughed all over again, unable to control himself. It was kind of cute. 

"How are you holding up Matt?" I asked, referring to the two kids we had left in his care. "Fine. But I am wondering where the others are." He said, looking at me quizzically. "They're still helping Abby with D-e-v-o-n statements from other patients and nurses." I said. I spelt out Devon so that Mitch would zone out and not listen to me. He was still sensitive about the whole matter, as he had every right to be. "Oh okay." Matt said and tickled Mitch, causing him to roll around on the floor laughing all over again. 

'Smooth' I saw Avi mouth at me as he picked up Kirstie and slung her over his shoulder into his back like a baby monkey. I felt myself blush slightly. "Anyway, well we're done so we came to help you babysit." I said. This causes Mitch to shoot up inti a sitting position and become all defensive. "I'm not a baby. I'm a babe." He declared, running his hand through his hair that got all out of place in his tickle fight. Mitch acting like a child whilst talking like a teen cracked me up. The boy is so unpredictable it brought life to this miserable hel hole full of depressed teens and paedophilic nurses. "You sure are." Kirstie said, teasing him. He didn't pick up on this though and just nodded once 

We hung out for the next two hours playing uno and general card games, having fun and being competitive now that Alex wasn't there to thrash us with his amazing card skills. This time I won go fish four times, Avi won it three times, and Matt won it seven times. Yes, we played many games, mainly because Mitch just loved squealing go fish. Of course, Mitch never won, he has a terrible tell, it being a big cheesy grin and fidgeting.. We went easy on him but couldn't completely cave and let him win, it was Matt's party after all and he is seventeen-years-old. Kirstie never won either but it's because her mind wasn't in it. She's been kind of distant lately, distant enough to worry the others, even Mitchie. 

"Hey guys, whatcha playing." Kevin asked, walking in and sitting down next to me. Alex and Scott followed and sat down with Mitch and Matt. "We're playing Go Fish and Alex isn't winning." Mitch said, rather loudly. Scott chuckled "Well I'm not surprised, he wasn't playing sweetie." Oh yeah, in the last month Scott has started calling Mitch pet names like: baby, sweetie, cupcake, and Mitchie Moo. It would be sickening if it wasn't so adorable. "Well Jen told me that she wants to talk to all of us in our therapy hall right now." Scott said, feigning fear. "Even me?" Matt asked, confused as he hadn't been 'interviewed' like the rest of us. "Yes come on, let's go." Alex wrote, and took Matt's hand to lead him to the hall. Mitch wasn't in on the plan, he couldn't be trusted to keep a secret, and so he was nervous, clinging to Scott's side, making the act even more real for Matt. 

We made sure that Kevin and Matt were walking in the front, Matt talking to him about seeing his family later. Mitch and Scott walked behind them and Matt kept turning around to look at them, at Mitch and his nerves. Kirstie and Avi walked behind them, Kirstie walking very slowly and avoiding looking up at Avi, focusing intently on the reflective, white floor; me and Alex brought up the rear, talking/writing about Lord of the Rings. We'd had our marathon, twice much to Kit and Mitch's dismay, and Alex also fell in love with it. In a place like this, a new favourite thing became fascinating as there wasn't much to do, and we were planning our next marathon, just the two of us, and maybe Avi if he wanted to come along. 

We reached the therapy room and Kevin knocked on the door in a 'knock knock-knock knock' and Jen on the other side of the door went 'knock knock' and she opened the door. "Surprise!" we all yelled at Matt, apart from Mitch who screamed in fright and then excitement. "Oh my gosh, you guys, you're amazing. Thank you so much!" He said, blushing a little as we all filed into the room. The ones of us helping set up the room and music had skipped lunch so we headed to the snack table whilst Trevor turned on the music and the party began. 

Mitch waited, giving Scott two minutes to eat any food that he wanted, before he dragged him to the dance floor and they began to dance. Mitch was surprisingly good and we all found ourselves cheering him along. Kirstie and Avi headed to the floor and joined in, before me and Alex did too. Matt and Kevin were a little unsure but Kirstie and Mitch grabbed their hands and pulled them onto the 'dance floor' causing them to join in. We danced to about five songs when Kirstie headed off the floor, guided by Avi, and sat on a chair. I broke away from Alex and went to see what was going on.

She was sat on the chair, very pale and shaking, and Avi was trying to get her to eat a grape. Just a grape, something simple, but she wasn't having it. Matt had told me that she hadn't touched her lunch. "Come on Kit. Eat the grape. You can't pass out here at Matt's party. How would he feel about that?" I asked, placing one supportive hand on her shoulder. She nodded and slowly nibbled the grape, forcing it down. "There see, good job Kit." Avi said, hugging her. She didn't look any better so I grabbed her a large glass of sweet apple juice and made her drink half of it, enough to give her a sugar rush and temporarily fix the problem. She peeled up quite quickly and chatted to Scott and Mitch for a bit once everyone moved away from the dance floor to talk.

No one else had noticed our issue, apart from the observant nurses, so that was handy, and kind of them for not interrupting and ruining the party. "So Matt, how doesn't it feel to be a free man again?" Avi asked, despite Matt not being discharged again. "It feels great." Matt said, Patton Avi on the back, "I can go home and see my family again. I can't wait to do that." He said and smiled. That hit a nerve with the rest of us as we all missed our families but we had to be happy for Matt, he had overcome his demons again. 

We chatted and danced the night away, well until 10pm, when Jen told us nicely that it was time to go to bed and take our meds, well, the other way around. We hugged Matt and wished each other a good night before we split off and headed to our separate rooms. I showered quickly, being super sweaty, and got changed into my pyjamas, and Alex copied me afterwards. "Good night Alex." I said and waited for a response, "Come on Ali, you can do this." I encouraged. "Good night Jake." He said, "I love you." "I love you too." I said before climbing into Alex's bed beside him and letting them bigger man spoon me. I drifted off to sleep peacefully.


	20. Goodbye

Part 20:

I woke up to a face full of hair, as per usual. God she's so beautiful in the mornings. I have gotten used to waking up half an hour before the alarm goes off so that I can spend some time in bed with Kirstie. We still haven't had sex, but we don't need to do so until she's ready, and legally old enough. I stroked her hair and it shimmered in the light, so I sat up and looked at her face.

Her red lips were as beautiful as ever and she looked so so peaceful. When I looked at the rest of her pale face, I got upset though. She's lost six pounds in the last months, which is a lot when you weigh so little. She's permanently pale now, until she gains more weight that is. She began to stir, as if she could feel my gaze on her. I lay down again.

"Avi, are you still here?" She asked, opening her eyes. "Of course Princess. I'll always be here." I said and she smiled. She rolled over so that we were face to face, and she kissed the tip of my nose. I smiled and kissed her full on, a passionate, slow kiss. I felt her melt into my embrace and I wrapped my arms around her and she snuggled into my chest.

"How long do we have?" she asked, looking at my face. "Ten minutes baby." I said, stroking her hair. "Ten minutes then hell resumes." She said, sighing into my chest. She struggles so much everyday with her demons, I understand why she finds being awake hell. My days are better now, less panic attacks and anxiety. "I love you Princess and you have me to lean on. Remember, we're getting out of here together." I said. "Together." She echoes before sitting up. "You need to go Avi. Jen will be here soon and I need to get my present for Matt out." She said. "Okay. Love you." I said. "Love you too Dragon." She smiled and got up.

\- - -

I headed back to my room and walked in on Kevin reading yet another book. "Morning Kev." I said. "Morning Avi." He said. "Have you seen my present for Matt?" I asked, looking in my draws for the dragon shirt in his size, with long sleeves. "Yeah, I wrapped it for you. It's with my present in my second draw down." He said. "Can I open your draws?" I asked him, knowing I had to get permission to touch his stuff. "Yes, just be careful." He said. I slowly opened his draw to not let anything wobble, and carefully removed the present, feeling his eyes on my back the entire time.

"Thanks Kevin." I said as I put the present on my once used bed, and got a red plaid top and skinny jeans and headed to the bathroom to get dressed. I did so quickly and as I was cleaning my teeth, I heard Jen come in, wheeling her trolley along with her. I spat quickly, rinsed my toothbrush, and put it in its specific holder. I wiped down the sink until it shined, for Kevin, and met them in the bedroom. "Morning Avi. Here are your meds." She said and passed them to me.

"Oh and Avi, it's time to change your bed again, but the sheets still look crisp and ironed. Have you changed them yourself recently?" She asked. Shit! "Um, yes. I remake it each morning to sleep comfortably." I said, trying to act serious. "Okay..." she said, leaving the room. I think she's on to me. Kevin looked at me, wide eyed, trying not to smile, but letting out a small smirk. "You need to crease the sheets a bit Avi." He said. "But if I do that now, she'll be even more suspicious." "True. You're screwed man." He said. I laughed. "Let's go." I said.

We headed down the corridor and Kevin left me outside of Kirstie's door. "See you at breakfast." He said as he headed to the cafeteria to meet the other boys before Matt got there. I knocked on her door and Jen opened it. "Hi Avi." She said, dragging out my name to tease me. "Hi Jen." I said, in the same voice. I walked past her and plopped myself down on Kirstie's bed next to her. She was dressed and was waiting for Jen to do her injections, holding Matt's present on her lap. She'd worked for Jen to pay me back and buy the gift.

"So how much did you have in the end?" I asked her, taking her small hand in my own. "£8. I gave the money to Trevor to buy him a bracelet Matt told me that he liked. It's really cool actually; I didn't know they made man bracelets." She said, smirking at me, her gorgeous side smirk. "Yeah they do. Josh has a couple." I said. She nodded. She'd met my family at visitation two weeks ago and they agreed to take her in. My mum fell in love with her and Esther treated her like a long lost sister. Perfect.

"Arm out Kit." Jen said and Kirstie leant into my side. She has a fear of needles, which is why I'm here. To make it this easier for everyone. "Just look at me Kit." I said. She looked up at me, with her eyes wide and watery, as she tried not to cry. "So when we get out of here, where should our first date be?" I asked her. This was my plan to distract her. Each morning I asked her this question to distract her, and each morning she came up with a different, incredible idea.

"It should be... at a swimming pool. You will tell me how good I look healthy and I will teach you how to do a kick off. Then we will shower and head out to a cheap restaurant, get food to take away, and eat it somewhere, I don't mind where as long as we're together. And then we'll spend the night watching movies and I'll fall asleep on you. Nothing fancy, just perfect." She said. I smiled and wanted to kiss her but Jen clapped her hands together. "All done." She said and removed her gloves. "Thanks Jen." Kirstie said and I took her present. We walked hand in hand to the cafeteria. 

\- - -

"Congratulations man! I'm so proud of you. I hope never to see you again." Kevin joked, hugging Matt and passing him his present. Matt opened it and smiled at the, you guessed it, a book. This one was different to the ones that I'd seen Kevin read. "I saw this in the top books of the month list and thought of you. I hope you enjoy it." He said and Matt hugged him back. "I'm sure I will Kevin." Matt said and he put the book down to take a bite of his toast. I grabbed my toast and Kirstie collected her turkey rashers and we took our seats and we both gave him our presents. He'd already opened Jake's rucksack, Alex's gift voucher, Scott's phonecase, and Mitch's (Scott's in disguise) toy. Mitch though Matt would like a stuffed Thumper rabbit, because 'who doesn't like Thumper Avi?'.

I took one of Kirstie's rashers and ate it as she gave Matt her present. "Here Matt. I saw this and thought of you." She said and he took it. He opened it and put one hand over his mouth. "Oh my God Kirstie, this is beautiful. Thank you so much." He said and quickly put it on. She ran over to him and he let her hug him, and she kissed his cheek. "I'm going to miss you Mattie." She said. He ruffled her hair "You can see me when you get out of here." He said. Her face dropped and she slowly nodded "Yeah..." and she headed back to her breakfast. 

"Congrats Matt." I said. Mitch giggled. "Yeah I know Mitchie. I made a rhyme." I said. He nodded and kissed Scott's cheek. "Thanks Avi. You're a good guy." He said and opened the gift. "Thank you." He said and shook my hand. After breakfast, we all headed to a floor I haven't been to since I got here. We walked past the nurses station to a lift and rode it all the way to the ground floor. Matt was carrying his suitcase. A man and a woman waved at him when we got off the lift. He waved back and his dad took the suitcase off of him. "It's good to see you Matthew." His Mum said and hugged him. She kissed his forehead and he turned around to look at all of us. "Say goodbye Matt." She said and he turned to look at all of us. Mitch was crying and ran over to Matt and hugged him. "Bye Mattie, I'll miss you." He said. "I'll miss you too Queen." Matt said and he headed to Scott. Scott hugged him and he went down the line, quickly hugging each of us one last time. Then he headed towards the door and left. 

We filed back into the lift and returned to our prison. I noticed Kirstie was looking a little lost and dejected. "What's wrong Princess?" I asked her. "It's just... seeing Matt with his parents was hard. They love him. And he can rely on them. God I must sound so selfish." She said and looked at the ground. "No you don't Kitty. We can't replace your parents but we're your family, and look out for you just like a little sister. Okay?" Kevin said. "Okay." She said and hugged him. It was very touchy feely today. I didn't like it.

I didn't want to touch everyone so I stepped back a little bit when we got off of the lift, trying to get some personal space. "You okay man?" Kevin asked me. "Will be, just give me a minute." I said, trying to collect myself. I couldn't stop thinking of my parents and that thought always drifted to the gory scene in the car, the scene that followed me wherever I went. Scott looked at me, concerned as I closed my eyes and shook my head, trying to shake the memory out of my mind. I counted to ten like Abby told me to and thought of my happy place. It sounds lame but my happy place is the half an hour each morning, me and Kirstie spend in bed cuddling. I thought of this and felt myself blush, before I opened my eyes to see everyone staring at me. 

"Are you okay?" Jake asked. "Yeah, let's go." I said, taking Kirstie's hand in mine and she cuddled into my side. We headed to the common room and resumed our normal seats, now that Matt was gone I no longer had to share my seat with Kirstie, but she sat with me anyway, on my lap and cuddled into my chest as Scott put The Princess Bride on. A little while later, I heard Kirstie's deep, slow breathing, and knew she was asleep. It was one of her new meds, it made her very tired, so I let her sleep, and watched the movie. It was one of my favourites. Giants, Princesses, Albinos, perfect. Kevin liked the mind games, Jake liked the sportsmanship, Alex liked the romance, that sap, and Mitch liked the fairy tale aspect. Scott liked whatever Mitch liked. 

When the movie finished, Scott took Mitch to the toilet, and the rest of us decided to slowly make our way to the cafeteria. I gently shook Kirstie awake and she looked up at me. "Hi Princess." I said, stroking her hair out of her face. She rubbed her eye like an adorable child, and looked up at me. "Hi Avi. Did I fall asleep?" She asked. "Yes but it's fine. We're heading to lunch." I said. Her smile dropped. "Oh. Do I have to?" She asked. "Yes, you need to eat." I said, a little harsher than I intended. She was always a little delicate when she woke up. She bit her lip a little, and I could tell she was trying to not get upset. "No no don't cry, I didn't mean to be mean. I'm just concerned about you. Come on, I'll take you to the quad later." I said, and she stood up and we headed to lunch, all of us a heptad again.


	21. Dance Off

We walked down to the cafeteria and split up. All of the boys headed to the 'normal' side of the kitchen to get their meal and sat down at their regular table. Kirstie went to the other side of the room to get her special plate, and sat down at one of the nurses tables. She'd been banned from eating with us since her weigh in two weeks ago, and has to have supervised meal times. They seem to not be working though and after an hour and a half, they always give up.

We sat down and Mitch ate quietly, feeding himself. This was a new thing that Mitch had been doing, and every day that he fed himself his own meals, Abby gave him one of her lollies, causing Mitch to suddenly gain a new degree of independence. "So, who do you think will get out next?" Scott asked the table. I pulled out my little notebook and pen and though for a minute. Kevin was almost allowed out, but it would still be a while. That left me to face the ugly truth.

'Jake' I wrote. Jake smiled at this, and the whole table agreed with me, no one noticing the deep sadness that I felt writing this. It's times like this that I miss having Kirstie eat with us. She always picks up on any sadness. I put my notebook away and neglected the rest of the conversation, and focused intently on my sandwich, trying to not let anyone know how I was really feeling.

Due to my focus on my lunch, I finished first and cleared my tray away slowly, and snuck out of the cafeteria to the bathroom. I felt tears pricking my eyes and I leant on the sink, with my hands either side of the basin, and took a few deep breaths. I ran the cold water and splashed my face, trying to pale my red cheeks. Jake was my best friend and a dear roommate and I didn't want to lose him. I'd be the only three in our group and I couldn't face group therapy alone, with no one to speak for me.

I calmed down a little and headed back to the cafeteria. The others were mostly done at this point and I sat back down in my seat. "Where did you go Alex?" Kevin asked me. I went to sign toilet, but remembered that I had to spit out my ten words by therapy later. I had done seven last night and this morning, and had three left. That was plenty. I took a deep breath and said slowly "To the toilet." Jake smiled and high-fived me, celebrating my ten a day. I smiled too, relieved that we were still close, and we headed out of the cafeteria.

We made a quick detour to the nurses table to see Kirstie. She hadn't touched her plate and India was trying to coax a spoonful of soup into her mouth. She normally choked the soup down, as it was easy to bring back up quickly, but she wouldn't do it. To be honest, she looked like she was struggling to stay awake at the table, as she was so heavily drugged.

I gave her a quick, sympathetic pat on the shoulder and left the cafeteria, following Jake to therapy. Jack greeted us and we took our seats in the circle. Everyone went around the circle and introduced themselves, as we, unlike the fours, had a lot of short stay people and part timers, so the group was different each day.

"Hi, I'm Jake. I have OCD and I've been here for almost a year but I'm getting out soon." Jake said. The group chorused back "Hi Jake." and it was my turn. I looked at Jake and he understood what I wanted. "Jack, Alex has hit his ten words so he's going to write." He said and Jack nodded. I pulled out my notepad and wrote 'Hi I'm Alex. I have selective mutism and social anxiety. I like card games.' and Jake read it out for me. The group replied "Hi Alex."

After that, we discuss strategies for dealing with our diagnoses at home and school, and me and Jake zoned out as it had been a long time since we went home, and we were both eighteen and set to graduating in a few weeks. This was mainly for the part timers who needed to cope well at home to be allowed to remain part time. Me and Jake had failed at that bit.

Then we moved on to question time. In question time, anyone can ask the group a question, generally about dealing with peer pressure or bullying or meds, but it can be about anything as long as it doesn't discuss numbers (weight/calories) or triggering material (self harm/suicide/gore). The newbies had a few questions that Jake helped to answer, but I sat back and just listened, not bothering to pull out my notebook. I hated group therapy and just wanted it to be over, every day.

Eventually it was, and we headed to the common room. Mitch had booted up the Wii and he, Scott, Avi, and Kevin were having a dance off. Mitch was winning. Scott was last, his long limbs flailing all around the place. I noticed that Kirstie wasn't here yet. It had been almost two hours since we all got our trays.

Me and Jake took over from Scott and Kevin and began another song. You may not believe it, but Jake can dance. He's actually really good, and he and Mitch were having a fierce battle for first, whilst me and Avi fought for a podium position. This happened for many rounds until Avi swapped out and Scott came back in. I tagged out and let the other two thrash Scott.

Kevin and Avi were discussing Devon. It was a topic we didn't discuss in front of Mitch and Scott, as Mitch always got emotional and Scott always got angry. Devon's trial was coming up soon. He'd pleaded not guilty, so Mitch was going to have to testify. We were worried if Mitch would be able to do it or not, and if his behaviour would make the jury not listen to him. Jen kept reassuring us that it was a slam dunk case, but we were still anxious.

Kirstie walked into the room and sat down on Avi's lap. She'd been in the cafeteria for a little over three hours. She leant back into Avi and he supported her entire body weight as her body went limp. She nuzzled into his chest and relaxed. "Did you eat?" Avi asked, already knowing the answer. Kirstie shook her head, but was too tired to defend herself, and just listened to the room.

"Hey Kit, do you want to play with us?" Mitch asked, passing her the spare controller. She shook her head again and Mitch pouted. She always played with him, as she enjoyed dancing and burning calories, so that she was too tired to do so did concern us but Abby told us it was necessary. Avi wasn't happy about it.

"You promised to take me to the quad." Kirstie mumbled, opening her eyes and looking at Avi. He smiled at her and stroked her hair. "Are you okay to go?" He asked her. She nodded and stood up. He stood up behind her and she held her hand out to him. He did one better and picked her up, so that she was on his hip, with her head resting in the dip between his shoulder and neck. They walked out of the room.

I pulled out a pack of cards and began a game of solitaire. Mitch wanted to know what I was doing so the others went to dance and me and him sat on the floor near the door, as I lay out the cards. 'Okay Mitch, this is called solitaire. What you want to do is get four piles of cards in order. You can't have two cards of the same colour touching, they must alternate.' I wrote. He nodded and put a black six on top of a red seven. He looked at me for confirmation and I nodded.

Mitch clapped his hands together and we continued to play the game, me mentioning the ace rule and the seven piles only rule, confusing Mitch a little. To be honest, I was playing solitaire, and Mitch was just moving the cards that I looked at, but he thought he was doing it by himself and this made him happy, so I let him think this.

After three games, of which we won two, Avi came back in, carrying a now sleeping Kirstie on his hip. He lay her down on their sofa and came over to us. "What are you playing Mitch?" Avi asked us. "We're playing solitaire; Alex taught me. Do you want to play too?" He asked him. "Sure thanks Mitch." Avi said and sat down next to me.

I scribbled a quick note and passed it to Avi. 'Pretend he's doing it by himself' it said and Avi smirked at it before scrunching my note up into a ball and put it in his back pocket. He nodded at me and copied my looks. "I did it!" Mitch yelled, jumping up like he did every time that he won a game.

However, now we had a sleeping person in the room and me and Avi shushed him. He hung his head and apologised. I looked over to Kirstie and saw that she was now waking up. Avi noticed too and went to go to her. I put my hand on his leg and shook my head. He understood and went to set up the next game for Mitch, who was trying the shuffle the cards, but was basically shaking them, a few flying across the room.

I got up and headed to the green sofa and sat down next to Kirstie. She whined a little bit before groggily opening her eyes. Time to use those words. "Hi Kirstie. Sorry, Mitch woke you up." I said, counting seven words. It was always easier around her and Scott. It felt like I could be myself around them, without them judging me or leaving me soon, and it felt nice.

"Mmm... so tired." She mumbled, rolling onto her side and looked straight at me. She hadn't had a panic attack or needed or even wanted to use her book since starting these meds. All she'd wanted to do was cuddle and sleep. It was nice but alarming, as she wasn't her bubbly self, dampening everyone's mood a little.

"I know baby." I said, stroking her hair out of her face and tucking it behind her ear. She blinked a few times and looked up at me. I saw pure exhaustion in her eyes, but it was somehow different to Scott's exhaustion. He always seemed tired but present, watching over Mitch.

Kirstie didn't have that present look, she just looked fed up. She looked like she was done and empty, and if concerned me that she would try to kill herself. She was barely eating or talking and I was taking her to the bathroom a lot more than I used to.

A tear rolled down her cheek and I wiped it away quickly with my thumb. They kept coming though and he was crying. It hurt me to see her so sad, so I decided to comfort her. I lay down on the sofa, so that we were face to face, and I moved my arms so that she could snuggle into my chest. She buried her head in my shoulder and I put one hand behind her head, holding it and stroked her hair. The other arm was wrapped around her waist, cuddling her.

She released small sobbing noises, and breathy gasps as she cried, just loud enough for everyone to hear. They stood by the back of the sofa so that I could see them and I shook my head, indicating that I didn't need help. Kirstie cried for about twenty minutes until I felt her breathing even out and knew that she'd just cried herself to sleep in my arms.

Avi came over when she fell silent, and looked at me. "What was that?" He asked, concerned. I felt myself choke on my words. Great, when I can't reach my notebook. I closed my eyes and dropped my head onto the sofa for a couple of seconds before looking at him again.

"Sleeping?" He asked. I shook my head. "Oh Tired?" He asked again and I nodded. "Very." I managed to say and he frowned. "Thanks Alex." He said, and I knew what he meant. Thanks for helping her the way that he and Kevin couldn't. I knew she saw me as a sister, and I was fine with that, I saw her as a sister too after all. I listened to Avi tell the others what was going on, and I just held the sleeping beauty, thinking about what the future months may hold.


	22. Surprises

Avi's pov:

I was laying in bed, cuddling my Princess. We had to get up in half an hour, and I was trying to fit a lifetime worth of cuddles into that small space of time. No time with Kirstin would ever be enough, I could only hope that I'd have decades. Abby has a surprise for us today. None of us know what it is, but we're excited. According to Kevin, Abby has never had a surprise for them, unless it was gaining a new group member, so we were all preparing for a newbie. We all had a bet, on what their diagnosis would be, and what gender they were, and their age. This was the bet.

Me (Avi): Male, OCD, 19-20

Mitch: (Cute) Male, Anxiety, 17-18

Scott: Female, Depression, 16-17

Kevin: Male, Depression, 18-19

Kirstin: Female, Seasonal Affective Disorder, 16-17

Alex: Male, (Unspecified) Personality Disorder, 17-18

Jake: Male, PTSD, 20-21

The bet was our usual ten pounds, and now that Kirstin had spent all of her money on Matt, if she lost, I'd cover her again. I used to wait for Kirstie to wake up so that I could cuddle her. Now, I let her sleep and cuddle her if she wakes up. Some morning though, she doesn't wake up until after I leave, and this was one of those mornings. I gently kissed her pale forehead, tasting the strawberry skin cleaner that she used, and beaded back to my room. I climbed into my bed and rolled around a bit, like a dog, with Kevin laughing his hysterical laugh at me, before I proceeded to make my bed. Jen came in whilst I was doing this and rolled her eyes at me, in a friendly way.

"Morning boys, how did you both sleep?" She asked us. "I slept very well thank you Jen." Kevin said politely. "I slept well too thank you." I said. "No nightmares?" She asked me, pulling out her notepad. "Nope, none." I said, very proud of myself. I was getting better. "That's very good Avi. No nightmares in almost a fortnight. We may be able to completely take you off of the sleeping pills now." She said, squeezing my shoulder in a well done, before leaving the room to see the others. I got dressed whilst Kevin made his bed, then he got dressed whilst I picked up my letter for Esther. Me and Kirstie had visitation tonight, and we were going to see my family. I really hope that Abby's 'surprise' doesn't ruin visitation. 

"Are you ready to go brother?" Kevin asked me. "Yes." I said and we walked side by side down the maze-like corridors. They used to confuse me, but now I know this place like the back of my hand. Running down here sometimes (sneakily of course), I can't help but feel a little bit like Thomas from the 'Maze Runner'. Kevin dropped me off at Kirstie's room again, and I went in. Kirstie was sat on her bed, still in her pyjamas, and Jen had the needles ready. I sat on the bed and took her hand.

"So when we get out of here, where should our first date be?" I asked her. "Hmm..." she thought deeply, so deeply that her tounge poked out slightly from in between her lips. "It should be at your place, when your parents are away. We will kick Esther and Josh out of the house and we will go riding on your horses. Will will ride through the fields and you will bring a picnic, and we will eat it in front of the lake, before we skip pebbles on the waters surface. You'll let me win and I'll call you a 'wuss' and then we'll ride back to the stables, and groom the horses. We'll head back to the house and you'll read to me a Disney story, and you'll do the funny voices. I'll fall asleep to your sexy bass voice, and you'll cuddle me all night long." She said. Jen had finished during the story and wheeled her cart out of the room. Perfect!

I leant forwards, and kissed Kirstie, deeply and passionately, and she kissed me back with equal love, and we fell back onto the bed, our bodies and youngest wrestling for dominance. I overpowered her, and ran my hands through her gorgeous hair, until she pulled away, and kissed the tip of my nose. "We have to go. The others will get suspicious." She said, before she took my hand and led me down the corridors to the rest of our family.

\- - -

Scott's pov:

After breakfast, India took Kirstie and Mitch away to do some schoolwork, leaving just us men (joke) to hang out all day, or at least all morning. We all decided to go to Jake and Alex's room, as they are allowed more things. Seeing as they're threes, they're viewed as less of a threat to themselves, and everyone loves them, so they're the only ones of us allowed to have a play station in their room. It's a little old, a PS3 I believe, but it's still cooler than anything we have in our rooms. There are only four remotes and five people, so we alternated, and played FIFA for a bit. I'm really good at it and my team won each time. Alex, having had enough of losing for a change, took out FIFA and put in Call if Duty. I'm surprised we're allowed violent games in this place, but maybe they snuck it in. I don't know.

It was rather gory and loud, so we had to turn the volume right down, but man was it fun. Running around free and getting to do what you want to do and being able to hurt people without fear that you'll break your bipolar shadow, it was great. I was a little confused at who I was on a team with, and I kept on accidentaly blowing up Avi. Okay, fine, the first three times was an accident, but the other nine times, was for fun. I liked blowing the man up, don't ask me why, again, I don't know, and I don't want to know. Eventually, Avi had enough of me blowing him up, so he rotated in with Kevin, who wasn't very good. Kevin kept running away from the bad people, because they wore grubby clothes and he didn't want his character to catch something. Jake told him that he was fighting to protect us, and then Kevin turned savage. I'm going to call it beast mode. He said that it was his Nigerian Stamina, or something like that. 

As I began to fall asleep over my controller, Avi rotated in and I collapsed onto Alex's bed, as Jake had the same no touching rule that Kevin had, and closed my eyes. I could hear the now quieter cheers of my brothers, and the sounds of guns firing, grenades exploding, and people dying, and it lulled me into a peaceful sleep. Strange huh. 

I was awoken by my shadow assaulting me. "Get up Scottie. Wakey wakey!" Mitch yelled, trying with all of his little strength to roll me over. I didn't want him to strain himself and hurt something, so I played along and rolled over, coming nose to nose with the little Italian boy. He giggled and nuzzled our noses together, before laying down next to me and linking our fingers together. He held them above our heads slightly and admired our interlocking hands in the artificial light. "We fit Scottie." He said, not breaking eye contact with our hands. "What baby?" I asked him, confused and not paying complete attention. "I said we fit. Our hands." He said, and this was all the explanation that I needed. 

I rolled over so that me and Mitch were nose to nose again, and I kissed him. He kissed me back and let me dominate him. I pulled back slowly, and licked my lips. "You're right baby, we do fit."

Our lovely make out session was rudely interrupted by Alex who pointed to the clock. That's when I noticed that the game had been turned off and we were the only three people left in the room. "Lunch?" I asked him. He nodded and raised his eyebrow at me accusingly. "What? I wasn't going to do anything. At least not on your bed." I defended myself playfully, emphasising the word 'your' to make Mitch giggle and it worked. We walked, well Mitch skipped, through the maze, to the cafeteria. Halfway there however, we almost ran into the backs of Kevin and Jake. Avi and Kirstie were standing in front of them, facing Abby and Jen. 

"You're not going to be eating lunch in the cafeteria today." Abby said, making me and the boys extremely confused, and Kirstie sigh in relief. "Where will we eat Abby. Mommy's hungry." Mitch said, causing me to giggle into my arm, which I slapped over my face to act as a yawn. I'm an insomniac, I can get away with it. "Don't worry Mitch, you will eat, but you will have company." Abby said, and motioned for us to follow her. We did so down to our meeting room, and stood outside. "Now, I'm warning you. No one freak out, you don't want to startle... well, you'll see, just listen to me." She said. 'Newbie' Kevin mouthed to me and I nodded back, both of us thinking that by the way Abby was acting, that they would be another Mitch, not that we could handle another Mitch, especially me, especially Mitch himself. Abby opened the door and we came face to face with...


	23. The Calm

Part 23:

...an empty room. "What the hell?" I said, wondering why Abby was making such a big fuss about an empty room. "Hello Mitch." a man's voice said, and he stepped out from behind the door. Mitch screamed. I ran out of the room, and ran as fast as I could back to 108. I passed a couple of confused nurses, but none of them stopped me. I'd become very trusted by the staff here; I'd even watched the fives again a few times.

I grabbed what I was looking for, a piece of paper, and ran back to the therapy room. The door was left open and I ran inside, right up to a brunette in a wheelchair. "Esther!" I yelled, causing her to turn around. "Avi!" She said back, with a wide smile. I bent down and hugged her tighter than I'd ever hugged anyone before. "God I missed you so much. I love you." I babbled, in disbelief that she was here to surprise me. "I love you to lil bro." She said.

"I wrote this for you. I just left to go get it." I said and handed it to her, before walking over to my parents. "Hi Mum, hi Dad." I said, hugging each of them. My mum was already crying. "Don't cry Mum." I said, wiping her tears away. "Sorry. I just miss you." She said. "I know. I miss you guys too but this is the right thing. I'll be home soon." I said, reassuring her.

"Thanks bro." Es said, hugging me. The letter had made her a little emotional. I looked around at the rest of the room and saw everyone having fun. Mitch was sat on his Dad's lap, with him Mum holding his car Wyatt. Scott and his parents were talking to them. Jake was chatting with his parents, and Alex was listening to his sister. Kevin was talking to his parents whilst looking around the room like me, making sure that everyone was alright.

We chatted for about an hour before Jen wheeled a buffet in. I took mine and Esther's plates and loaded them up, before heading back to my family. "Thanks Avi." She said, "Where's Kirstie?" I looked around the room, and didn't see her anywhere. How could I forget about her! Her parents aren't here, for obvious reasons, but that didn't mean that I could forget about her.

"Umm..." I said, turning red. My Mum realised what was going on and sat me down on one of the sofas. "Breathe honey. It's okay. Nothing bad is going to happen." She said, and rubbed my back. Kevin ran over to me to make sure that I was alright, being the good brother that he is.

"Hey Avi. What happened man?" He asked me. I was very short of breath and took a minute to respond. "Kirstie...where is...Kirstie?" I gasped. Jen ran into the room and began to try and calm me. Kevin looked around the room panicked, before he ran out. I slowly stopped shaking and my breathing returned to normal, all thanks to Esther's calming words.

"Jen, where's Kirstie?" I asked her. Jen looked around the room, concerned. "Shit. How could I lose her?" She said. "I think I know where she is." I said, and ran out of the room. I passed Kevin in the corridor, and he looked extremely worried. "She's not in any of our rooms or the common room." He said. "What now!"

"I think I know where she is. You head back, I need to do this alone." I said, and ran outside, to the quad. I headed over to the grassy area, and over to the large willow tree. I found Kirstie sat down, leaning against it, sobbing. I slowed to a walk, to not startle her, and sat down next to her. I pulled her into my side and she sobbed into my shoulder.

"Hey Princess. What's the matter?" I asked her, rubbing her heaving back. It took her a few minutes to calm down enough to be able to talk. "They didn't come. Even Alex's parents came and they're the reason that he's here. They don't love me." She said, losing it again. I should have brought her over to my family before I ran out of the room.

"I'm sorry for not being there. But Kirst, they're not good people. I love you, we all love you, more then they ever could, and my parents love you too. They miss you. Can you come back for me? Esther really misses you." I said. She began to sniffle and hiccup, like when a little child stops crying. It was really cute.

She nodded and I helped her up. I wrapped my arm around their waist and guided her inside. I made a quick pit stop at one of the bathrooms to wipe her face and clean her up a bit. When I was done, the only sign that she had been crying was her red eyes. "You're beautiful." I said, stroking her hair behind her ears so that I could get a better look at her face. She smiled weakly and blushed.

I leant in and kissed her. She kissed me back, melting into my embrace, before we broke apart and headed back to the reunion, knowing that everyone would still be concerned about her. She stopped outside the door and took a few deep breaths before we walked in. Everyone's heads snapped towards the door, and relief wash over everyone's faces.

"Are you alright Kirst?" Jen asked her. She nodded and I guided her over to my family, not breaking my touch on her shoulder blades. I'm pretty sure that it's the only thing that kept her going.

"Hi Kirstie. I missed you so much." Es said, wheeling over to her and pulled her down to a sisterly hug. Esther's momma bear instincts had turned on. "Hi sweetie." my Mum said and my parents hugged her. "Josh couldn't make it. He had university stuff." Esther said, rolling her eyes and pulling a bored face, causing Kirstie to giggle. Her laugh is very melodic and never failed to make me smile. My Dad caught me smiling, causing me to get embarrassed.

"Where did you go?" my Mum asked. Kirstie looked down at her hands, twiddling her fingers nervously. "We went to the quad for some fresh air. She got a bit upset about her parents." I said quickly, wanting to move on. "It's okay sweetie. We love you like our own daughter." my Dad said, making me suddenly extremely proud of my parents, and what good people they are.

"T-Thank you." She said. "I'll get you some food Kirst. You haven't eaten yet today." I said and went to fill her plate up. I didn't put much on it, thinking that if I could get her to clear this small amount, then I could go back and get her a little more, so that it felt like a snack or two, not an entire meal, which I wanted it to be.

When she looked at the plate, her eyes widened and she backed away slightly. "No Avi." She said quietly, not wanting to eat. I pushed the plate slowly towards her. "Please..." she begged, beginning to tear up. "Why don't we do it together?" Esther asked, taking the plate, and she took a grape and popped it into her mouth, quickly eating it. She passed one to Kirstie and she copied her, eating the grape.

They went through the entire plate like that and another one, though no one had the heart to tell Kirstie that Esther took the smallest things. My parents spoke to the rest of the room, finally able to meet everyone I had told them about. They really hit it off with Kevin, of course, and came back, beaming. "You've got some really nice friends here Avriel." my Dad said.

I knew that he was right, and I felt loved here, in a room surrounded by my favourite people. It would hurt when we all left, but for now, things were great. Too bad good things never last for long.


	24. The Storm

Part 24:

Alex's pov:

Today is the day that I have dreaded since coming back here. Today Jake leaves. This was a well known occurrence, and has been coming for several weeks now. It was only signed off on last night though. Jake had ran into our room whilst I was reading 'The Fault in our Stars' for the sixth time, and jumped onto my bed, startling me so that I dropped my book on the floor and lost my page number somewhere around Amsterdam.

"Hey Ali. Guess what!" He practically yelled. I shrugged, looking down at my book longingly, knowing what he was about to say. "I'm going home! I get to see my family!" He cheered before pulling me into an embrace. I savoured the moment, making a mental note of his cologne scent, mixed with peppermint, and the silky feel of his hair. Who knows when I'll see Jake's again. I was lucky to be admitted when he was here this time. What if he never has another time?

"Well, are you going to say something?" He asks me as he pulls back. I furrow my eyebrows for a brief moment, pulling myself together, before pulling a fake smile for him. He had to stay happy. Seeing Jake happy made me feel happy for him, and that almost removed the despair I felt for myself. Almost.

"Congratulations." I croaked. It was my first word of the day and my throat was a little sore. Anything for Jake though. "C'mon, help me pack." He said and grabbed my hand, pulling me out of my bed, him standing on my book in the process. I picked it up and smoothed over the crumpled pages, Jake never turned around to look at me.

"So can you empty my draws whilst I pack my toiletries away?" He said. I nodded but he didn't even turn to look, knowing that I would do this for him. And I did. I carefully unpacked each of his draws, making a pile for shirts, another for trousers, one for shoes, and another for underwear.

I blushed when I made that last pile. It felt weird to be touching Jake's boxers. He wouldn't miss one pair would he. Would he? I grabbed a black pair and stuffed it quickly in my pillow case just as Jake came out of the bathroom with his toiletries all packed away neatly.

"Thanks Ali." He said, and put the clothes away in colour order, messing up my careful piles. He zipped his suitcase up and wheeled it with him to the cafeteria. We were the last ones there for once. Kevin and Avi were talking whilst Kirstie picked at her food, Scott snoozed on Mitch's shoulder, and Mitch ate his food quickly. All normal, yet so abnormal.

"Woah hey there Jake. Are we making another trip to the ground floor again?" Kevin asked him, smiling goofily. "Yep. As of now, I'm a free man." Jake said, and Avi and Kevin got up to hug him. Mitch poked Scott and Kirstie to get their attention, and they also congratulated Jake.

"Sorry we didn't have time to get presents." Avi said, blushing slightly. "It's fine. You guys being my friends is a big enough present." Jake said, earning an 'awww' from Mitch. "Are you staying for breakfast?" Scott asked him, to which Jake shook his head. "My parents promised to buy me a bacon and egg McMuffin on the drive home and that's way better than this sucky food." Jake said, causing Kevin to laugh.

"Okay. Well I need to go now. Are you guys coming?" Jake asked. We all nodded. "Yes, just let me grab Mitch's coat." Scott said. I looked at him puzzled. "It's Devon's trial today." Scott said, and my eyes widened. Oh God. Poor Mitchie. I hope he does okay.

We got Mitch's coat and one of his slinky fiddly things to channel some of his extra energy out on, and got in the lift to the ground floor. Jake said one last goodbye to us and then he was gone. No special goodbye. No goodbye kiss. I never told him my feelings for him. He was gone. He was happy. I was not.

I headed straight to MY room and crashed onto my bed. My book was still there. Why do they get love! We're sick children, why don't we get love and our one special night! I know Gus dies, and eventually Hazel, but doesn't everyone die? We would just get extra time together.

The book made me angry. I picked it up, looking at the happy cover, before I tore it apart, first ripping off the cover, then yanking fistfuls of pages and tearing them up, ripping them to shreds. I screamed and yelled, not stopping until it was just tragic confetti littering my floor. I collapsed onto my bed exhausted, ignoring Kevin's urgent banging on the door and waited for him to go away.

I rolled over and lay there, sobbing my eyes out, unsure of what to do next. Jake was the reason why I spoke, so that one day I could tell him that I loved him. What was I going to do now, now that my motivation was gone. Could I ever talk again?

\- - -

Jen's pov:

To say that I was nervous was an understatement. I was fucking petrified, but I couldn't let Mitch know that. I had to keep him calm if I had any hope of making his testimony count. I waited for Jake to leave, wishing him and his parents well, before I collected my belongings and Mitch.

The others had gone downstairs to find Alex, and Scott stayed with Mitch. He was twiddling his fingers, clearly nervous.

Thanks to his new meds his flips were often less severe, so he understood what was happening. He was dealing with it alright.

"Lets go Mitch." I said, and he reached his hand out to me, clearly nervous. I took it and Mitch said goodbye to Scott. I led him out of the hospital doors and to the waiting car. I had a suit waiting at the courthouse for him, as I didn't want him to dirty it in the car or at lunch. The trial was in the afternoon.

We were sat in the car in the back and Mitch had his nose pressed to the glass. He hadn't seen the real outdoors for around ten months after his last outing for his sister's birthday, so he was fascinated with the bustling city and the number of people. He said random things, pointing out odd things that he saw to me as well.

"Oh look Jen look, a rainbow umbrella. A kid in a Peppa Pig rain mack. I love Peppa Pig almost as much as I do Sponge bob. A doggy! Look a doggy! That tree has blossoms..." Random things. It was endearing though and I couldn't help but laugh and get excited for him. He was so so so much better, it was unbelievable.

I pulled out my phone and texted Mitch's/ the hospitals lawyer, who was leading the case against Devon, to talk to them about Mitch's outfit and the statement and the trial's time, along with the parents of former patients that Devon also molested etc. I was sidetracked for probably around half an hour, before I realised that Mitch had fallen silent.

I looked over to Mitch and saw him sitting in his seat silently, still looking out of the window. He seemed peaceful and was probably lulled to sleep by the gentle hum of the engine, so I returned to my phone. I decided to talk to the lawyers, before India texted me.

'Alex is hiding in his room. He won't let anyone in. What should I do?' God why did everything have to happen today? I thought about it for a moment, thinking about Alex. He clearly had a thing for Jake, I'm not sure how serious, and I was wondering how he'd take this.

Not well obviously. Dear God, how I wish I was there. This is the time that my job became more than a job. These children were like my family, I cared about them so much, even if some of them weren't actually children, and I wish I was there to comfort him. Heartbreak is never a nice thing, I learnt that the hard way. The really hard way. Don't think about that Jen, you don't need to add your own tears to today's chaos.

I looked over at Mitch, knowing that his cheery demeanour would make me cheerier. He was still silently looking out of the window. "Hello Mitchie." No response. "Hey kiddo, are you in there?" I asked him, twisting his shoulder slightly so that I could distract him from his thoughts. His happy demeanour was gone.

His face was pale and his eyes were dull and glazed over, like that of a porcelain doll, he looked a little like a porcelain doll. He looked like he would break if I touched him anymore, and he was unresponsive. I was ten minutes away from the courthouse to persecute the man who molested Mitch with Mitch's own statement... and Mitch had crashed.

\- - -

Kevin's pov:

I had spent all morning trying to get Alex to open his door. It wasn't locked, none of our main doors had locks, but I didn't want to break his trust, so I gave him his own space. Now that Scott was without Mitch, I used him to brainstorm ways to help Alex, along with Avi. Kirstie just sat silently in the corner; she hadn't been very chatty lately, so we let her rest.

Scott was a little distracted, which was completely fair, he was worried about Mitch and that was understandable. We were all worried about Mitch, but I knew that he cared for Mitch deeper than any of us ever could, so I couldn't understand how he felt, I just had to support him and cut him some slack when he completely drifted out of parts of our conversation.

"I think Alex likes Jake." I said. "Nah really." Avi said, his voice dripping with sarcasm. I rolled my eyes at him and smiled. "But Jake's gone now and I don't know about you, but I didn't see him give Alex, his own roommate, any special sort of goodbye." I said. Avi's eyes widened.

"Poor kid must be heartbroken." He said. "Jake was the person helping him speak." Scott said, coming back to us. Thank you Scott. "Scott's right. Without Jake, Alex may drift back into himself, close himself off and hide from us." I said. "We will have to press harder to help him progress." Avi said. "Keep with the ten a day, don't let him regress." Scott added. I nodded and so did Avi.

"So what will we do right now though?" I asked them, unsure of how to help Alex. I cared for him like my own brother, but I'm not good at comforting most people. I can do it, but it makes me really uncomfortable and I don't want to make Alex even more upset. He's very observant like that. Probably too observant for his own good. That had never helped him with his social anxiety and mutism.

"Let him have his time alone in his room. He needs to calm down and collect his thoughts. Let him process what has happened but we will take him to lunch. I won't let him start skipping meals. We don't need another anorexic." Scoff said. Avi nodded. Kirstie walked out of the room, not saying a word.

"So that's the plan then?" I asked. "Yeah. I don't know what else to do. I'm sure Jen will let him call Jake." Avi said. Scott was zoned out again. I put my hand on Scott's shoulder and he looked back at me. "What... oh yeah. Sounds good. I need to take a nap." He said and I let him go. He needed his time. I feel like I'm the only one holding this group together some days. Relax Kev, you need to breathe. It's just a rough day, we get rough days, things will be better tomorrow.

India came in. "Hey Kevin. Sorry, there's a phone all for you at the nurses station. It's your mum." She said and walked out again. I looked at Avi. "You go. I'll go and check on Scott and Alex. Make sure everyone's alright." He said. I nodded back at him. "Thank you Avi." I said and walked to the nurses station, wondering why my mum would be calling me. I don't think I missed anyone's birthday.

I thought I saw someone running away from me in the opposite direction, but I blinked and they were gone. I was just stressed. I really needed a soothing shower; maybe I should see the masseuse that Scott's been seeing to help me relax. I don't want to be stuck here any longer than I have to be.

I got to the nurses station and India passed me the phone.

K: Hey Mum. Why are you calling?

M: Hello Kevin. How are you?

K: I'm good Mum. A little stressed. Jake left today and Alex is sad. Mitch has gone to Devon's trial and Scott's stressed. I can not wait until this is all over.

M: Mhm. Okay Kevin, are you sitting down?

K: No... why? Should I be?

M: Probably.

K: Okay Mum. What's going on?

M: It's Candace. Your sister was in a car accident earlier today Kev. She's in surgery. I'm not sure what's wrong I just know that it's bad. I'm so sorry.

K: Oh God. Shh Mum don't cry. I'm going to try and visit.

M: I'm sorry Kevin.

I dropped the phone. I couldn't deal with her crying and I couldn't handle the news. It was too much. Jake, Alex, Scott, Mitch, Candace. This was by far one of the worst days I'd ever had here, or actually ever. I was in shock, I knew that. India came in and hung up the phone and began to try and console me. What did we do to deserve this? What sin have I committed to make God this mad? Am I an awful person?

\- - -

Avi's pov:

Today has been busy. It had been alright though. It's been a good day actually. I didn't sleep in Kirstie's room last night, or for the last fortnight actually as I've been tired and wanting to hang out with the guys, mainly my brother Kevin.

I woke up and headed with Kevin to the cafeteria and Scott and Mitch met us in there. Mitch was a little anxious, but that was understandable. Kirstie came in and sat next to me and picked at her food whilst I talked to Kevin about random junk, we had a lot in common, more than I first thought, and then Jake and Alex came in.

I wished Jake good luck but didn't miss Alex's... well to put it plainly, sorrow. He was distraught that Jake was leaving him and Jake didn't give him a special goodbye which had to have hurt Alex. He must have felt like his love was ignoring him.

Mitch and Jen left and me and Kev took a nervous Scott under our wing, our 108 wing. We chatted about how to help Alex cheer up, the three of us bonding, and Scott eventually left for some alone time. He was clearly anxious and I felt awful for him. I hate seeing one of us hurting.

Kevin had a phone call according to India so I went to check up on our lonely compatriats. I headed to Alex's room first. I knocked on his door and he didn't open it. I heard something hit the door, so I knew that he was at least conscious and alert. That's always a good sign.

I went to find Scott next and found him asleep on Mitch's bed, cuddling one of Mitch's stuffed Patrick's, his had touching Patrick's boxers slightly inappropriately. Good thing I didn't knock. My family was alright. That's good. I headed to 108 and sat on my bed, reading the third 'Game of Thrones' book.

That reminded me... Alex likes 'Game of Thrones'. When I got here, we discussed it a lot. Maybe seeing a couple of episodes would cheer him up. I should probably wait though until after lunch. He'd need his time to cool down, as throwing things at the door doesn't sound very cool.

I quickly found myself bored. Jake and Scott were busy and I was pretty sure that Kevin wouldn't want to be disturbed at this time, so I headed to the common room and watched some TV to pass the time until lunch when me and my brothers would be together again. Kevin came in looking very tearful.

"Oh my God Kevin. What happened?" I asked him, guiding him to his chair, wanting to give him any order and control that I could in this moment to calm him down as Kevin NEVER cries. Ever. "C-Candace was i-in a car accident. She's in su-surgery." He stuttered. I passed him a tissue and he folded it into eighths and wiped his eyes. Poor brother.

"Oh God Kevin. I'm so so sorry. Is there anything I can do for you?" I asked him. He was my family, my parents even liked him, and if there was anything at all that I could do for him, I would do it. "Don't let me cry in front of the others. I can be sad but they can't see the tears. I'm the glue." He said. I knew what he meant. He was the glue that kept us all together.

"Okay I will do that Kevin but on one condition. Around me you don't hide your feelings. I don't want you bottling up your emotions to appear fine all the time. It's not healthy." I said. "Think of me as your emotional relief." I said. He nodded and hugged me, and I hugged him back, protective of my family from their own family sorrows.

After he cleaned himself up, I shook Scott awake and we headed to Alex's room. Just Alex's room, for now at least. I knocked but there was no response so I opened it. Giving him his privacy was good, but he had to eat. We knew though that he wouldn't want to go to the busy cafeteria. His emotions would make his social anxiety even worse, so I opened the door and put his lunch tray on the cabinet near the door.

Alex was lying in his bed, surrounded by paper pieces but looked up at me when I opened the door. He had visible tear tracks running down his cheeks and I wasn't sure that we should leave him so I sent Kevin and Scott to get our trays and we would eat with Alex to comfort him. And we did, none of us touching Jake's old bed, which had by now been stripped down to a bare mattress and an old frame.

About halfway through the meal Alex reached for his notepad for the first time. We had been enjoying a comfortable silence until then. He scribbled a note and then passed it to me. 'Where's Kirstie?'. "In the cafeteria probably. It's lunchtime." I said. "I didn't see her." Kevin said. "Same here." Scott said.

'I thought she'd be here.' Alex wrote. "Yeah. I don't trust her to go to the cafeteria alone, and even if she did, without us she won't eat her food." Scott said. "You should go and check on her Avi. Bring her in here." Kevin said. I rolled my eyes. "But I'm comfortable." I whined, my voice going higher to be almost that of a normal person. Kevin glared at me firmly so I went.

I walked to the cafeteria and Kirstie wasn't there. She'd probably already finished. The supervised mealtimes didn't exactly go according to plan and she was back to eating with us. I decided to go to the common room, knowing that she would be waiting to hang out with us so I walked there next.

I was very surprised to find the room empty, board games all put away neatly, remote on my seat where I left it. Maybe she was tired. I headed back to Alex's room, giving up on my search, but I knew that if I didn't look fully, Kevin would get annoyed at me and I didn't want to stress Kevin out more than I had to, so I checked her room on my way to Alex's.

It was empty, as expected, but I was slightly surprised to find her bathroom door slightly ajar. Kirstie always closed it as she hated it open, where she could see the toilet, the place where she fulfilled the worst of her disease, from her safe bed. I decided to close it for her, but found it wedges on an aerosol can. She probably got clumsy earlier.

I opened the bathroom door fully and was met with a sight that I never thought I'd see, and dropped the can with a loud clang onto the cold, tiled floor. Kirstie was hanging limply by a belt to her shower pole thing with a dozen of empty pill bottles scattered around her feet. Her face was slightly blue. She wasn't moving...


	25. Kirstie

Part 25:

Avi's pov:

Kirstin died that day. Her funeral was simple and very short. Outside of this hospital, she didn't have anyone. Her life before this place didn't care for her, and the only people who attended the ceremony were the rest of the heptad, including Jake, Matt, my family, Jen, India, Trevor, Nazimah, Abby, Jack, and a couple of other kind nurses. That was it. All the people who remembered Kirstin Taylor Maldonado.

You couldn't even really call it a ceremony. It was a short service in the hospital's chapel that was usually reserved for the families of sick and injured people, with a dozen or so attendees and a Priest. Kirstie had already been cremated and her ashes were at the front next to a photo of her. A healthier her, some people would say. Yes she looked healthy, a decent weight and with beautiful, shiny hair, but she wasn't healthy, she just hadn't been caught. I know how rotten she was on the inside.

Two days after her funeral, I couldn't take it. The nightmares were back, but rather than seeing Esther's broken body, I saw Kirstie's hanging one. The trouble was, she looked so peaceful. Hanging there, the belt around her neck, her face slightly blue, there was a faint smile tugging at the corners of her lips. It was then that I realised that I hadn't seen Kirstie genuinely smile in a long time.

I'd been ignoring her, removing the only family I had from her and abandoning her at her weakest.

Jen realised when she returned from the courthouse, that she knew where her keycard had gone. Eight months prior to... that day, Jen had 'misplaced' her keycard. She assumed it had been deactivated, but when it was found inside a hole torn into Kirstie's mattress, she realised how wrong she had been. Jen had always feared what would happen if a patient was ever able to break into the medicine cabinets. Now she knew. The coroner said that she had taken so many pills that they had burnt a hole through her stomach into her liver, and through her diaphragm to her lungs, which would have been excruciatingly painful. As bad as drinking bleach.

The nightmares broke me. I woke up each night screaming with Jen and Kevin looming over me, trying to get me to wake up. I was always covered in sweat and had to shower. I stopped shaving, I stopped showering too if I didn't have to. I tapped her morse code 'I love you' into my palm constantly. It's the only thing that kept me from exploding.

After two days, I took my knife from the cafeteria and tried to kill myself with it. Let's just say that the kitchen staff do a cutlery count after each meal and the ward went into lockdown when a knife was missing. Jen came straight to 108, knowing that I would have it, and found me holding the knife blade first to my stomach, the handle against the wall, ready to ram myself into it. She grabbed it before I could act.

I was taken to isolation for a week until I was deemed no longer suicidal. I'm a great actor when I want to be.

Alex blamed himself. He was the observant one, the one who understood the loneliness Kirstie felt the best, and after losing his sister and his crush, he stopped talking. He hasn't said a word to anyone, not even Scott. Matt and Jake were readmitted, Matt for a suicide attempt, Jake for losing control, being permanently stuck in his OCD rituals. Jake now rooms with Matt as Alex wouldn't be near him.

Mitch didn't handle the news well. He stopped eating, losing weight himself. He's becoming anorexic. He hasn't eaten in three and a half days. Scott can't get through to him, and when Mitch flips, forgetting the tragedy in his life, he keeps on asking "Where's Kitty?" We hate lying to him. Scott has stopped sleeping. No matter what, he can't get his brain to shut down. He collapsed yesterday from fatigue, and was admitted to the general hospital. I haven't seen him since.

Kevin's sister didn't make it. She didn't survive the surgery. She lost too much blood. Losing both of his sisters and having to watch us fall apart broke him. He was our glue, but wasn't sticky enough to hold us together. He tries to help us, as a group or individually, the only one capable of saying her name, just about, but it doesn't work. He's just wasting his time. Abby can't get through to us either.

Jen quit. She believed that she wasn't qualified to be a nurse to us as we all broke, and blames herself for Kirstie's death. She believed that she should have seen it coming, should have noticed the hole in her mattress, should have ensured that her keycard was deactivated, should have talked to Kirstie more, enough to get past the facade of lies. But should have's won't bring her back. Nothing will. She left and took Kirstie's ashes with her. She was going to spread them in Texas, where Kirstie was from. At this little forest that she visited regularly as a child.

I have been lying to Trevor. I haven't been taking my meds. When I get them, I hide them in a ball of socks in my sock drawer. When I hit fifteen sleeping pills, I'm taking them all in one hit. That should be enough, right? Fifteen is enough to kill. It better be; I'm currently at fourteen, and tonight my collection will be complete. Tonight I will be reunited with my Princess.

And all of the pain will be gone.


	26. Coping

Part 26:

Third person:

Avi woke up screaming again last night. It's been the same thug every night for the last two weeks. He had just woken up from another nightmare about Kirstie. About her funeral and life afterwards. That's how long it's been. Two weeks. Two weeks since Avi found Kirstie's overdosed body hanging in her bathroom. Two weeks since her surgery. Two weeks since her heart stopped. Two weeks since she slipped into the coma. She could die at any moment.

Avi refuses to leave her bedside but Trevor forced him to. Every night he had to all but drag Avi away from her bed in the main hospital's ICU, and he would wake up screaming each night. Kevin and Jen would try to help him but it never worked, he would ignore them, and each morning after breakfast, he would return to her room.

Avi couldn't go on like this and Jen knew it. Everyone knew it. Avi's parents and siblings would visit the pair of them once a week. Avi always ended up breaking down in his parents arms and Esther would hold Kirstie's hand and talk to her like she could hear them, and say kind, sweet things to make her feel better.

That's just the kind of person that Esther was. Seeing her brother eat himself alive, and then be saved by Kirstie, made her love the girl. But her doing this made her pity her more than anything else. That she would do this to herself.

Each night, Avi would replay the events of that day in his mind. He walked into her bathroom and found Kirstie hanging. He screamed and yelled, going into a panic attack, catching everyone's attention in the entire floor. Trevor was the closest person to Kirstie's room and ran in first. Upon seeing the situation, he radioed for emergency medical help and the crash cart in the nurses station.

India was the next person in the room. Trevor was lifting Kirstie down and India went to Avi. He was inconsolable, and whilst he needed help, he wasn't the one with no pulse. Trevor began to perform CPR and India ran to the medicine cabinet, and grabbed some tranquillisers. She had to inject Avi with them to stop him from screaming. He was in shock and needed to calm down.

Jason was the next nurse in the room. Kevin, Alex, and Scott had reached Kirstie's room and were trying to get in. Jason sent them away and the emergency medical team came in. The others had no idea that Kirstie had just killed herself. They thought that she had a bad seizure, so when her body was wheeled out of the room with a doctor on top of her performing CPR, they were horrified.

Avi was wheeled out seconds later and taken back to his room. The boys didn't leave 108. They didn't know what was happening with Kirstie and stayed with Avi. When he came to he just sobbed, before he became angry and trashed half of his room. He had to be sedated again. India rang Jen, who had just had a small victory. She had managed to coax Mitch out of his crash and he had just given his testimony.

Devon had been sent to jail for life! Her and Mitch were celebrating, not aware that they were about to be thrown from one tragedy to another. When Jen got the call, she and Mitch ran out of the courtroom and drove back to the hospital as fast as possible. There was a strip search of Kirstie's room. They found the keycard in her mattress and figured out that she had downed enough pills to burn her insides up.

They removed anything that could be sharp or heavy enough to be used as a weapon, and any belts or string, and removed the laces and heels from her shoes. If Kirstie wanted to cut her nails or shave, she would have to be supervised by a member of staff. If she ever could. Avi couldn't stop dreaming of worst case scenarios, that always ended with his death.

The boys were struggling to cope. Kevin had rung Jake and Matt and told them what had happened and they all came to visit. Kirstie lost a little over half of her stomach and a small portion of her liver. Her lungs were extremely damaged and scarred, and she would have breathing issues if she woke up from that and the damage to her trachea. Just more setbacks.

The security had increased in the hospital and the boys in the heptad were put under close observation, just in case any of them became suicidal. The group were banned from seeing Kirstie after two weeks. It was decided by Jen, Abby, and Jack that they needed separation from her otherwise they would go crazy. Each day was dull and painful, but they got by.

\- - -

Kevins's pov:

After another rough night, I woke Avi up and we got dressed in silence. It was hard to get him to leave his bed, but I forced him to, telling him that this is 'not what Kirstie would want'. We walked in silence to the cafeteria where we would meet the others.

Avi never finished his plate. He picked at his food and slowly ate it, not talking to anyone or making eye contact. Alex didn't talk, but he did eat. He helped Avi eat, making sure that he kept on eating, as he would often get lost in his mind.

Scott ate but was constantly on the verge of falling asleep. He only contributed to conversations half of the time, and spent every mealtime force feeding Mitch. Mitch didn't eat. He didn't talk except from when he flipped and forgot what had happened.

This is how meal times went. The only talk being that of encouragement to eat from Alex and Scott. I had given up on trying to talk to them at mealtimes a little while ago. There was no point. We then headed to the common room. We sat in our usual seats, except from Avi. He sat in Jake's old seat as he couldn't sit on the sofa that they shared or Kirstie's old chair.

Scott put on Sponge bob and tried to sleep whilst Mitch watched the cartoon. He loved Sponge bob and would always get side tracked by it. Alex silently played solitaire, the way that he could for hours. I had learnt to bring my book with me to the common room and read it as there was nothing else to do anymore. All joy left with Kirstie.

Avi would just sit there and stare at the wall. This is all he did now that he couldn't be with Kirstie. I decided to start with Alex. I walked over to him and looked at his cards. He was staring over the deck, thinking of his next move. "The red nine and the black ten." I said. He looked up at me and smiled weakly. "You're welcome." I said.

"How are you today Alex?" I asked. He shrugged without looking up. "Can you use a verbal answer for me." He shook his head. "Please? I miss your pretty voice. We all do." He shook his head again. "Why?" I asked him. We never got past this question, and again we didn't. He didn't answer me. He ignored me and kept on playing with his cards.

He won and reshuffled the deck to start again. Time to move on. I headed over to Scott, knowing that he wouldn't actually be asleep. He wasn't, and was just staring at the ceiling. I sat on the floor by his face. "Hey Scott." I began. He rolled his eyes and looked over at me.

"Hello Kevin. I'm not good. I can't sleep. I won't open up. Move on." He said. "No Scott. I will not move on. You're being strong for Mitch but I need you to talk to me. You can't bottle up what you're feeling. It's not healthy for you."

"What about you hey? You're not talking to us. You're just interrogating us!" Scott yelled, sitting up so that he was towering over me more than usual. "Why do you think that I'm trying to help you?! That's what I do Scott! When I can't help myself, when I need help, I help others! It's my way of coping! And you need it, you need help so talk to me. Please." I yelled, basically begging him by the end.

He sighed and sunk back into the sofa. The others were watching us and out of the corner of my eye, I saw Jen and Murray loitering in the doorway. "I don't know." Scott said finally.

"I don't know Kevin. I, I can't believe this is happening. It's Kirstie. She was always the ray of sunshine, even when she was feeling down. I can't believe we didn't see this coming. She had been so withdrawn and quiet yet we didn't see this coming. We just ignored her. I ignored her. This is my fault Kevin." He said, crying by the end. I sat on the sofa next to him and hugged him, both of us sobbing.

Mitch and Alex came over, and we hugged. Avi still hadn't moved. I rocked Scott, trying to comfort him. "You're okay Scott. It's not you're fault. Same for you Avi. It wasn't any of your faults." I said.

I broke out of the hug and walked over to Avi. I hugged him. He didn't flinch. He didn't launch into a panic attack like I expected. He reached out and hugged me back and broke. I was holding the fragments of Avi in my arms as he weeped and shattered all over me.

I knew that he couldn't hold up much longer and he didn't. After two weeks of nothing, I had broken through to him. To all of them. It felt good, having Avi back. He looked at me, really looked at me, not through me, and I saw him in his eyes. I saw the fear and guilt and overwhelming sorrow, but it was life. That was more than I had seen from Avi for too long.

Jen let us skip lunch, bringing our food to the common room. Jake went the therapy and came back looking a little rejuvenated. He needed the break from the problematic fours, and always did better after his group therapy.

"Why is everyone so sad. Where's Kitty?" Mitch asked from the sofa. Great, he had flipped. I hated doing this next part. "Kirstie is doing something with Jen. She will be busy for a while." I said. He nodded and smiled a big smile at all of us. "Cheer up guys. Sponge bob is on." He said, and with that, turned back to the TV.

It hurt to see him so helpless and naive this way, but right now, it was for the best. It helps him cope. He and Alex had a form of release. The rest of us had to man up and deal with our emotions. Be the grown ups because sure as hell no one else was going to do that for us.

Jen walked in at around 5:30pm, something which I hadn't been expecting. "Can you all listen up please." She said and we all did. "We have some news on Kirstie..."


	27. Healing

Part 27:

Scott's pov:

We were escorted to the main part of the hospital, the part for the people that society actually cares about for their illnesses. Not the 'looney bin' where we live. I was carrying Mitch as he refused to walk, as he was in a childish flip, and also had no idea what was going on. We were going to have to leave him outside.

Jen's words rang in my ears, stuck on a loop. "Kirstie's awake but we can't get through to her." "Kirstie's awake but we can't get through to her." "Kirstie's awake but we can't get through to her." Round and round and round. I knew that the others were thinking the same thing. It was obvious by the slight crease of their eyebrow, downwards tug of their lips, and vacant look in their eyes.

The only sound we made was the squeaking of our shoes on the freshly polished floor, and Mitch. Mitch was squealing and giggling as I carried him, as he was bouncing a little bit and treating it like a ride. At least someone was happy. When we reached he ICU, I had to put Mitch down so that we could disinfect our hands.

Jen led us to Kirstie's room, and the nurses from the ICU looked at us sadly, like they had no hope for us. A couple older ones were glaring, clearly not understanding of the mental health crisis sweeping America. Jen made us wait outside for a couple of minutes whilst she went into Kirstie's room, before she came back out and took Mitch from me, and the rest of us went in.

She looking tiny and fragile in the giant hospital bed. She was in a dark blue hospital gown and the bottom half of her body, up to her hips, was covered by a thin, pale blue blanket. She had a feeding tube coming out from a small hole in her gown, connecting her what was left of her stomach to a bag of nutrients. She had iv's in both of her arms and her hands, and wires going under her gown, connecting her to so many monitors including a heart rate monitor. It sped up when we entered the room. She was wearing an oxygen mask and was so pale it hurt.

I heard Avi release a little sob when he saw her. I saw Kevin take his hand and give him a reassuring look. Alex was frozen to the spot, seemingly unable to now walk or talk, just stare. Kirstie would hate that, she probably did. I slowly walked over to her bedside and sat down on a small chair to her right. I noticed that her left hand was handcuffed to the bedrail, like she was capable of escaping right now, but her right hand was free, ignoring the iv's.

She was staring up at the ceiling, not even blinking. I took her hand, which was so so tiny and cold, in my larger hand, and stared at her face. No response. She didn't even flinch. Was she even in there at all? "Hey Kirstie. I just want you to know that I'll never leave you, we'll never leave you. Mitch would be here too but he's on a bad flip and is outside with Jen." I said.

Kevin came over and sat at her other side, carefully holding her handcuffed left hand. "Yes Kirstie. We love you so so much and will never judge you. Just, know that we love you and miss you. Especially Avi." Kevin said. Alex stood by my shoulder and I thought that he was just going to stand there, but he surprised me.

"I'm sorry." He said. It was simple but I knew what he meant. We all knew what he meant, and undoubtedly Kirstie knew what he meant as well. He was sorry that he had missed what was going on and that he had abandoned her. We were too caught up in ourselves to notice the imploding girl. He and Kirstie had always been the best and reading subtle clues in body language and helping each other, so I knew that he was kicking himself.

Avi walked right up to Kirstie's head so that she couldn't not look at him. She couldn't miss his bloodshot eyes and the bags framing them, his pale skin, and his untrimmed beard. That would be enough to make her feel guilty. It was the worst Avi had ever been. He bent forwards and kissed her ghostly pale forehead, and I couldn't miss the slight twitch if her lip curling upwards at his touch.

This is how it went for a couple of weeks, us (and sometimes Mitch) visiting her every day, and Kirstie not responding to us, just moving her eyes a little or twitching her lip IF we were lucky. Abby visited her for two private hours whilst we were at lunch, trying to get through to her.

Yes, she was healing physically, but she was still dead mentally. The rest of us were healing though. Upon finally seeing Kirstie, Mitch began to eat more. Just a few more bites per meal, until his appetite came back. I still struggled to sleep, too stressed to shut down, but at least I didn't have to worry about Mitch for the first time in months.

Kevin was having a tough time, between Candace and Kirstin, but Candace was healing and out of the hospital, so that was good for him. He couldn't see her yet, but he spoke to her every day on the phone. Alex was back to doing his ten a day, but only to Kirstie, but was still struggling from Jake's departure and still broke down sometimes. Avi was doing the best, healing himself so that he could be able to heal his love.

It had been a month of us visiting Kirstie again, and she was being discharged from the ICU and main part of the hospital, as 'Jen and her team could care for her physical needs' as if they weren't short staffed and busy enough already. They agreed of course, everyone had a soft spot for the young girl, but we all knew that they were going to struggle.

We decided to help them and Kirstie. Unless we were kicked out of her room, we would hang out in there rather than in the common room. It was smaller but we could make do. Kevin would continue to read to her and Avi would come up with date scenarios. Sponge Bob and Disney movies would really help.

The one good thing to come out of this chaos was that Kirstie had gained weight. We didn't know how much yet, but being on a constant feed and not moving had definitely made her gain some weight, finally.

They were transferring her today. Her room had been stripped to the bare minimum, and they were moving her during breakfast, durning the staff change so that there would be more staff and nurses to help with the move and keep an eye on everyone else. Breakfast was wolfed down in silence by all of us, as we just wanted to head to Kirstie's room. It was the sloppiest I had ever seen Kevin's plate. There was a little marmite on his plain butter slice of toast. I had never seen that before from him in over a year.

We quickly walked to her room and saw Trevor lift her into her usual bed, and Jen cuff her to the new rails on her bed 'to stop her from falling out or running off'. She was off of the oxygen mask and was wearing a cannula, and was still connected to the feeding tube, but nothing else.

Avi climbed into Kirstie's bed next to her, and held her gently, whilst Kevin and I sat on either side of the bed. Alex and Mitch sat on the floor, Alex playing solitaire and Mitch watching the Sponge Bob I had put on. Kevin was reading his book and I was watching the TV as well. Avi was watching Kirstie.

After three episodes where I was glued to the screen, I looked over at the lovebirds and saw Kirstie not looking at the ceiling finally, but at the TV. There was the faint smile on her face again, and Avi has noticed. He looked at me and we exchanged a small smile, both of us knowing that we were getting our Kirstie back.


	28. Couples

Part 28:

Kevin's pov:

I woke up at seven due to my ringing alarm. I usually rolled out of bed, made it quickly, and then woke Avi up, but today I wouldn't be doing that. Today Avi was already awake and waiting for me. I headed into the bathroom and got dressed, brushing my hair and cleaning my teeth, and then switched with Avi. He got ready quickly whilst I re read the letter Candace had given me.

Dear Kevin,

I hope that you're okay and doing better. I really miss you at home. Mum, Dad, and Kellon send their love.

I'm writing to you from the hospital, Mum said that she told you what had happened. I was on my way to work after a lecture and got hit by a car skating on the ice. I'm alright though, after a couple of blood transfusions. I broke both of my legs, got whiplash, and fractured two ribs, but that will all heal.

I don't want you to worry about me. I know that you will, you were always too caring, but I don't want you too. I'm fine, and will hopefully return to class in a month or two. I'm attending via Natalie's Skype currently. I want you to take care of yourself, and your friends as I know that is how you take care of yourself, but I want you to get better.

I miss you Kevin. We miss you so much and I just want to have my big brother home and safe, slaving away at university like the rest of us commoners. Just kidding, I want you to be able to do what you want.

And make sure you take care of Kirstie. I know that you're kind of like a parent to her, and I want you to protect her. She's too strong for her own good. Take care of Mitch and Scott, please get them together. If I have to listen to any more "they're not together Candace" then I will slap you.

You have been warned.

Open up to Avi. He is like you, strong and brave, and use each other to lean on. You don't have to be the stoic one all of the time.

I hope to see you soon Kev, I love you to the moon and back.

Candace xxx

I received that a week ago. Now I am trying to stick to it. I'm trying to fix Kirstie and Avi, healing them so that they can get better, and this will also make Avi able to help me the way I have been helping him. And as for Scott and Mitch. We're almost there, just one final push into each others arms (or pants) and voila, job complete.

But right now, I had to head to breakfast. I had a lot of work to do on couple number one. Me and Avi were the first ones in the cafeteria, as usual, and Avi wolfed down his plate before anyone else had even turned up. He left to go to Kirstie's room and it was just me left, waiting for the others.

When they got here, we prayed quickly before eating. It was only coco pops so it didn't take too long, though Mitch insisted on drinking all of the chocolate milk at the bottom of the bowl, spilling it all down his front and ruining his white t-shirt. On our way to Kirstie's room, Scott and Mitch stopped to quickly change Mitch. Me and Alex waited outside for them before we rejoined couple number one.

Avi had sworn to Kirstie to not ignore her or abandon her again, and he had apologised to her a lot. She looked at him now, at all of us, but still wasn't talking. Avi didn't need her to talk at the moment though. He had enough to say for the both of them. The rest of us would amuse ourselves in conversation and games whilst Avi lay next to Kirstie in her bed, careful of her stitches, and come up with more first date scenarios. A couple even made her smile. It was so romantic and adorable, I just knew that this couple would be fine in the long run.

This gave me a chance to work on couple number two. I sat down next to Scott and began to talk to him. "So Scott. What are you going to do once you or Mitch leave?" I asked him, causing him to freeze, his cap in his hand as he had been adjusting it. "Well I'll still see him all of the time. Me and him don't live very far away, Kirstie too actually, and we will never leave each other." He said confidently.

"Okay. So if you'll see him all of the time, Mitch will still have issues. Bipolar and Peter Pan can only be managed, not cured. What will you do about that?" I asked him. Again, he had a response quickly. "I'll move in with him. Well technically he will move in with me. I will care for him until I can't any more." He said. "So you like him then." I said, reaching my point.

"Ye-hey. What are you doing?" He asked me, looking outraged. His cheeks were turning pinker by the second, but thankfully only Alex had noticed, and he was smirking at Scott, clearly on my side. "Was that a yes I heard Mr Hoying?" I teased him, nudging his chest with my elbow. He blushed even deeper before waving his arms in my face. "Fine fine. Yes okay? Yes. I like Mitch. I love Mitch actually. He's like... so freaking adorable it hurts." He said.

Wow, I was not expecting that. He loved him. God, that's beautiful. "Well then, go tell him." I said cheerfully, like it was the most obvious thing in the world, because, well, it was. Scott didn't seem to think so though. "No!" He whisper yelled. "I'll embarrass myself. There's no way Mitch feels the same way about me." He said, almost crying by the end.

I scoffed at that. "Yeah and dragons are real." I said, earning a loud "Hey!" from Avi. I know that he didn't hear the rest of the conversation, but at the mention of 'blasphemy' to Avi, he got all defensive. I ignored him though. Gave him a small taste of his own bitter medicine. "You really think so?" Scott asked me. I nodded wisely, playing Friar Lawrence, without the whole double suicide incident. "I know so." I said and looked at Mitch, who was blissfully unaware of our conversation, laughing at Micky Mouse on the TV.

Scott smiled gratefully and shyly at me, before he got up and sat down next to Mitch. He pulled the smaller boy onto his lap and began to talk very quietly to him. I decided to give them some peace. Me and Alex began to play a game of go fish to pass the time.

Alex had recently started to learn how to do card tricks as well as playing card games, so he wanted to use me as a guinea pig, so we abruptly ended our game of go fish and Alex looked at me whilst holding out the deck of cards, fanned out, before me. I knew that that meant "Pick a card!" so I did.

It was the four of spades. Suitably random. I put the card back in the pile and he shuffled the deck. He pulled out a card and held it in front of my face as an "Is this your card?" and it wasn't. "No Alex." I said and he frowned. He began to shuffle through his deck again, and I noticed that the four of spades wasn't in there.

"Um Alex. My card isn't in there." I said. I was really puzzled now as I put my card in his deck. Why wasn't it there? Avi and Kirstie were watching us too, looking equally confused. Avi was wrapped around the cable of Kirstie's cannula and almost choked himself.

Alex stood up and lifted up Avi's beanie, pulling out, you guessed it, a card from his deck. And not just any card. The four of spades. Kirstie gasped loudly, and I chuckled. I could tell by the smirk on Avi's face, that he was in on the trick the whole time, but I decided to give Alex his moment and let Kirstie be entertained.

Alex started laughing as I applauded him, and Kirstie grabbed Avi's hat and held it up to her face, trying to look inside it. Avi chuckled and kissed her forehead and Kirstie smiled. Just then Mitch squealed. "Guys guys guys!" He yelled at us. We turned around to look at him.

Mitch was sat in Scott's lap, and Scott had his arms wrapped around Mitch's waist. "Me and Scott are dating!" he yelled and Scott playfully rolled his eyes as if to say 'I know he's acting weird but it's adorable' and he was right. Mitch was weird and adorable and that's what we all love about him, especially Scott.

Alex opened his arms and Mitch ran into them. He cuddled him, congratulating him. "Mitch come here." Kirstie said. Kirstie spoke! Her voice was very hoarse from not being used in over a month, but it was still understandable. Mitch jumped into the bed, causing her to wince, and was wrapped into a ginormous hug by the other happy couple.

I lifted Mitch off of the bed and span him around in my arms. He squealed and giggled and I finished spinning him and put him back on the floor and kissed his forehead softly. He blushed and Scott came over and put Mitch on his back.

For the first time in a long time, everyone was genuinely happy, so of course that means that something will go wrong soon, but for now, everything is fine, great even. Awesome.

My jobs for Candace were being fulfilled and that was great. We only had one challenge left today, that I was aware of, and that was therapy. After we had lunch, Jake disappeared for his therapy, and it was just the group left.

Scott was laying on the floor and Mitch was laying on top of him (not dirtily), and was playing with Scott's fingers whilst watching Peppa Pig and Scott slept. Avi and Kirstie were ignoring their surroundings, cuddling closely, with Kirstie resting her head on Avi's chest, and her arms wrapped around his torso. Avi had his arms around her shoulders, cuddling her and was carding his fingers through her hair, whispering sweet nothing in her ear that caused her to smile and blush occasionally.

I read my book, of course. I didn't have anyone like that and I had convinced myself that I didn't need anyone. I'm Kevin Olusola, the father, bear friend, muscle man. Maybe when I get out of here I can settle down with someone. I mean, I am twenty three. It's not like I'm not old enough.

But for now, I read, losing myself in disc world. It was my escape from here, like Mitch's Sponge bob, Alex's cards, Avi's Kirstie. I didn't even notice Alex come back in, or Jen disconnect Kirstie from the monitors, or Mitch wet himself. They really needed to put him back into pull ups like when he first arrived. He is getting better in so many aspects, apart from his bladder control.

It wasn't until Alex kicked me in the leg and I looked up. He waved at me and pointed to the door. Scott and Mitch were already gone and Avi was wheeling Kirstie out of the room. I put my book down on Kirstie's nightstand, mentally making a note to pick it up before bed, and hurried out of the room after my family.

Well I didn't need to hurry as it turns out that Avi had to wheel Kirstie slowly as she was still in pain, and Mitch was insisting to ride on the back of the chair. Scott had to hold him up to stop his from falling off, and Avi was pushing all of them, resulting in me getting the doors for them.

We were a mess of arms and legs and wheels, and upon arriving at the therapy room, we headed in, to the four vacant chairs. Avi stopped Kirstie next to me, and we began therapy, the first time as a reunited group. I'm sure that we had a lot of things to talk about, and I wasn't looking forward to it.


	29. History

Part 29:

Abby's pov:

This was not going to be easy. I had been talking to Abby and doing one to one sessions with Kirstie to try and get through to her, but it hasn't worked so far. I'm hoping to get through to everyone tonight, now that we will all be reunited, and I will push hard to get to where we need to be. I just won't push too far, I don't want to break them further.

I heard laughter coming from the hallway, getting closer to my door, and I knew that this was a good omen. Maybe tonight wouldn't be too difficult. Kevin opened the door and in came a lump of heads, wheels, and smiles. Smiles are good. I don't often get them in here.

Being a psychiatrist in a paediatric mental disorder unit is a very difficult job. Most of the patients hate me and won't talk to me. The nurses often see me as a threat to their patients mental stability as they often leave me upset; the parents accuse me of not doing a good enough job as their children are here for a while, but any mental disorder doesn't go away overnight. It takes time and patience, especially with people as challenges as the fours. I've even been attacked a few times.

\- - -

I will never forget my last meeting with Jeremy Michael Lewis. No matter how much I want to. You see, Jeremy was a four, in the year that it was just Kevin and Kirstie. The three of us and the nurses made a pact to not mention him to any newbies. He was thirteen at the time, just like Kirstie, but he was very big. Not fat, he was actually deceptively slender, but he was very tall and muscular.

He was in here for bipolar disorder, though later I realised that that was an incorrect diagnosis, and it was just him, Kev, and Kirst. He was a charming young man, Kevin found him funny, and him and Kirstie had a thing going on. I admired him and found him calm and collected. How wrong I was. To be fair, he was deceptively charming and it was still early in my career.

We were having a one to one session, trying to get to the route cause of his mood swings, aside from his 'diagnosis'. Looking back at it now, I realise what I said, but at the time, I had no reason to think that it would trigger him. I said "Why do you think you struggle with your negative moods?" and that was that. Jeremy was gone, at least the Jeremy I knew.

He told me that he was uncomfortable saying the answer so he asked to borrow a pen and a piece of paper. I gave them to him and he wrote something down. I asked him to show it to me but he beckoned me over instead. He had folded the piece of paper in half and I stood at his right side to take the paper from his hands. During that movement he had clicked the pen back on.

He lunged over and stabbed me in the throat. Right on the fleshy part of your neck, above the inwards dip of the collarbone. I suddenly couldn't breathe and had blood pouring down my neck, staining my white blouse red. He ripped the pen out, and it was a little like a waterfall. Every time I exhaled, blood squirted our as the pressure of me exhaling forced it out.

I couldn't talk. I couldn't scream or make any kind of vocal noise. I was struggling to even breathe as blood poured into my lungs. Jeremy hadn't moved off of his chair. He was smiling a sick grin at me, his eyes glinting grimly in the light, and as I fell to the floor, rapidly losing blood and consciousness, he passed me the paper. I unfolded it and saw what he had written. 'Because I enjoy them.'

He just sat there, smirking at me. He didn't try to escape, knowing that with all of the security, he wouldn't get out. Knowing that I couldn't make a vocal sound, and didn't have long until I suffocated or bled out, I stumbled over to my chair, falling down to my knees again as I reached it, and lobbed it as hard as I could against the door.

It made a loud clanging noise and seconds later, an ex nurse, Michael, came in, obviously hearing my distress. When he opened the door, he found me lying on the floor in a pool of my own blood, and Jeremy sat patiently in his chair next to more blood, holding the bloody pen. I was rushed to the main hospital and Jeremy was arrested.

He pleased insanity and was moved to a proper sanitarium where my new suspicions were confirmed. Although he can't be formally diagnosed until he is eighteen, he was 'diagnosed' as a psychopath. Not a sociopath. The two are very different. I was unable to talk to a month, and was lucky that my vocal cords weren't damaged, but I still had surgery and speech therapy for three months.

We told Kevin and Kirstie. We had to. All of us and the nurses then made the pact to not tell any newbies about him. He was our dark secret. It almost came out once, when Mitch asked me after a few months of him being here, "Abby, why do you always wear a scarf?" I told him that it was for fashion, but it was really to cover up my scar.

I will never forget Jeremy Michael Lewis. How can I? I have a physical reminder

\- - -

"Good evening Abby." Avi greeted me as Scott lifted Mitch off of the back of the wheelchair. We took our usual seats/spaces, and sat quietly for a minute. "How was your day?" I asked each of them.

"Great." Mitch squeaked talking for the group. "How do Mitch?" I asked him. "Well Scott asked me out. We're dating!" He literally yelled before running to Scott and jumping onto his lap. Scott wrapped his arms protectively around the younger boy.

I do have a couple of rules in here, one of them being no yelling. I know, it may sound crazy, how are the patients supposed to vent. In those scenarios I allow it, but yelling for no reason I dislike. It always reminds me of what I failed to do, and in this room, makes me anxious. Yes, I suppose you could call me a crazy therapist, or damaged, but I suppose that makes me more able to understand my patients, so in a way, it's helpful.

I let it slide this time, knowing that Mitch couldn't help it. I was thrilled for the happy couple number two. "Good for you two. Avi, tell me the rest." I said, knowing that Mitch would now be distracted with his boy toy.

"So yeah, that happened. Kevin kinda encouraged Scott. Umm...what else. Kirstie spoke. That was awesome, and Alex showed us a new card trick." Avi said. "It was amazing." Kirstie said. "Yeah, completely magical." Kevin said, playfully glaring at Avi the entire time, making me suspect that he had something to do with it.

"Back to Kirstie talking. Just now as well. I'm so proud. On a more clinical note, apart from a bit of expected hoarseness from a lack of use, your voice sounds great. The belt didn't seem to cause any damage to your vocal cords." I said. She smiled genuinely, that was good. These five people are very special.

You see, alone, they are cool and funny, and they are each unique, but they have their issues. Alone, they struggle and get overwhelmed, they metaphorically drown. Together though, God they're amazing. A true group of friends, or family really, and it's been my pleasure to watch them get better together, despite many setbacks. Watching them together honestly makes me emotional, like they are my own children. I'm so proud.

But I also had a job to do. And to do it right. "So, Kirstie. You know what we've been doing in our extra one to ones..." I led off. She nodded. "Well, I want to do it with the group today. It will benefit all of you, and I think it would be very useful." I said. She nodded again and everyone else looked at me a little confused.

"Okay, boys. Each of you tell me three things that you love about Kirstin." I said. They all smiled wide, breaking out into four wide grins. Mitch had to go first. "Her happy, her funny, oh and her taste in cartoons." He said. His grammar wasn't too good but he was excited. Kirstie smiled faintly at the last one. Scott went next.

"Her kind heart, her protectiveness of all of us, and her side smile." Scott said. Kevin went after Scott. "Her loving personality, her brains, and her height." He said, making Kirstie laugh out loud. "She's the perfect size to snuggle with." He added, making everyone awww at him.

Avi went last, and we all saved the best for last. "Where do I start? I love everything about Kirstin Taylor Maldonado, even her faults. Because to me, the parts of her that she hates, are the parts that I love the most. She doesn't think that she is perfect, like so many gorgeous girls, but I know that she doesn't give herself enough credit. I'm going to have to go with her body. She is an angel. Also, her heart is the purest that I know. And finally, her soul. She saved me from myself when I was at my darkest time, and without her, I know that I wouldn't be any better. She's my guardian angel." He said, and got up and walked over to Kirstie's chair.

She was bright red and had tears running down her cheeks, silenced by Avi's moving words. Avi crouched down in front of her and wiped both cheeks with his thumbs, removing the tears. "I love you Princess." He said. A collective gasp swept through the room, and judging by Kirstie's wide eyes, it was the first time that he had said it properly. "I love you too Dragon." She said.

Avi leant forward and kissed her. Passionately but carefully, to avoid dislodging her cannula in her nose. They kissed for several seconds until Kirstie had to pull away for air, and only then did Mitch and Scott begin to clap. Kevin rolled his eyes at them and began to join in on the clapping. I copied and Avi stood up and bowed for the rest of the room.

When he came in, Avi couldn't make eye contact, let alone bow to a roomful of people after spilling his soul in front of them. Avi was so much better, and now that the stress of Kirstie and Mitch was gone, Avi was pretty much all better to go. So was Kevin. It was a sad fact, but it was true.

I decided to end therapy there for the night, wanting to end on a high note, so I dismissed the room. Scott piggy backed Mitch out of the room and Avi wheeled Kirstie out, yelling "Blast off!", but I kept Kevin behind for a minute.

"Hey Kev. So, how much of this was your work?" I asked him. He laughed his weird laugh and said "Probably about forty percent. I nudged them and, well shoved them when I needed to." He said. I nodded. "Good job. Just make sure to take care of yourself." I said. He nodded. "I will do, but taking care of them helps me take care of myself." He added. Typical Kevin. I nodded and let him go.

They were my last appointment for the day so I finished my notes and locked them away in my secure office. Then I hailed a taxi back to my apartment like I do every night and was met by my wonderful girlfriend Nicole. I had a perfect night.


	30. Effort

Part 30:

Avi's pov:

"You can do it sweetie. Big push." I cheered encouragingly as Kirstie pushed herself out of her wheelchair. She went to fall forwards but grabbed onto the two wooden bars either side of her body, and used those to hold herself upright. Her thin arms were shaking under the force of her whole bodyweight, which was at the highest it had been in a while, and a sheen of sweat quickly coated her forehead.

"Great job Kirstin. Now can you walk over to me?" the physical therapist asked as he positioned himself at the other end of the bars whilst his colleague moved Kirstie's wheelchair out of the way. Kirstie slowly put her right foot in front of her left and took a step, clutching onto the bars tightly as she wobbled mid motion.

But she landed the step. She then moved her left foot and took another step. Her arms were getting tired and her legs ached whilst her abdomen screamed in protest. It was all to much. Kirstie's legs gave out and her arms, too weak to hold her upright without her legs, bent and she collapsed onto the foam mat she was standing on. I quickly picked her up whilst the physical therapist wheeled her chair back over.

I sat Kirstie back in the chair and the physical therapist untangled her cannula. "Okay, that was a good start. Do you think you can try again today or do you want to wait until tomorrow?" she asked Kirstie whilst the male therapist filled in Kirstie's medical records. "Tomorrow." Kirstie panted, trying to catch her breathe with her scarred lungs. "Tired." she added, leaning against my side.

"Okay sweetie. Well you did so well today. That's excellent progress. Take it easy for the rest of the day but do try to do your standing before bed." the male therapist said and me and Kirstie thanked them before I wheeled Kirstie out of the physical therapy room as her arms were too tired to push herself.

We rode the elevator back to our floor and I took her to the common room. It was half an hour until lunch. Alex and Kevin where playing 'Mario Kart' whilst Scott tried to help Mitch with his homework, but Mitch wanted to watch the other two play on the Wii. It was never going to work out in poor Scott's favour. But he didn't mind too much, he was hanging out with he boyfriend and both of them were lucid so that was great.

I picked Kirstie up and lay her down on the green sofa to get some rest, and pulled out my phone. I had been given it back recently as I am improving, and the internet and social media was never my issue. My conscience was my issue. I didn't even have any social media anyway so that also helped me persuade Jen to give me my phone back.

It was great as I could now talk to my friends and family without having monitored calls in the nurses station. I decided to text Esther, as I knew she didn't go to uni today as she had a physical therapy appointment, just like Kirstie. Though now Es only went once a week, every Wednesday. 

A: Hey sis. How are you?

E: I'm good Avi. Have you and Kit been to PT yet?

A: Yeah. It went well. She stood with the help of the bars and took a couple of steps before she collapsed.

E: That's good. She's doing well.

A: Yeah. I'm really proud. How did yours go?

E: It was the usual. My physical therapist did some exercises with me to reduce muscle atrophy and then we did some core exercises to make using the wheelchair easier.

A: Have they helped?

E: Yeah loads. I only get tired in it now if I'm in it for hours at a time or if I have to go up steep inclines.

A: That's great. I'm so happy about that Es.

E: Thanks. You're not doing a soppy, 'I'm so sorry' moment on me now are you Kaplan?

A: What, no, never... anyway, how's Mum and Dad?

E: Good. Mum's been working late to pay for the bills and medical costs. It's really starting to drain their bank accounts. Dad is good. His latest scans came back clean and his kidneys are functioning well. He's fully back at work now and is helping with the finances.

A: That's cool. Less stress for Mum.

E: Yeah. Definitely. Josh is coming back from uni for half term next week and will be coming with us to visit you two.

A: That'll be nice.

E: How's everyone in there?

A: We're as okay as a bunch of mental patients can be. It's been three days since my last panic attack and four nights since my last nightmare. Mitch hasn't flipped much this week which is good. Scott is starting new sleeping meds tonight and hopefully they will work. Kevin is doing much better now that Candace is out of the hospital. Jen is as busy as ever.

E: XD. When is that woman ever not running around, dealing with peoples messes? That's good about the others though. I hope Scott's meds do work. The poor boy needs a break. I'm so happy you're doing better. Maybe you can leave soon.

A: Yeah. But I don't want to leave Kit. I don't know how she will handle that. And Scott has had a break?

E: Oh yeah? Tell me more...

A: He asked Mitch out.

E: And he said yes?

A: Duh.

E: Finally. It's about damn time.

A: Tell me about it. You'll have to thank Kevin for that though.

E: Well pass along my thanks and applause.

A: Will do.

E: Mum's calling me for lunch. I have to go. Love you little bro.

A: Love you too Es.

Avi put his phone away and went to check on Kirstie. She wasn't asleep any more and was watching the Alex vs Mitch vs Scott vs Kevin Mario Kart off. Kevin was winning, no surprise. I can imagine Kevin being a great driver. Scott has gotten better at it and so has Alex. Mitch sucks though. He would make an awful driver, though I doubt with his diagnoses that he will ever be able to drive anyways.

"Avi." Kirstie called me. I walked over to her and helped her slowly sit up, to not aggravate her healing abdomen. "Yes Kitten?" I asked her patiently. She looked up at me with a nervous smile plastered across her face. "I'm hungry." she said. And the game was paused. Everyone was looking at her, even Mitch. I don't think any of us had ever heard Kirstie say that before.

"You're hungry?" I asked her, just checking that I heard her right, that we all heard her right. "Yes. I'm always hungry. How long until lunch?" she asked. Who is this and what have they done with Kirstin?

"W-We can g-go now." I said and took her hand. I lifted Kirstie up and put her in her chair. Kirstie as back on solid foods now, though she had to be careful. I heard the others following us, eager to see if Kirstie followed through on her claim. We got to the cafeteria early, before lunch was being served, but since it was a girl with a severe eating disorder wanting food, they fed her immediately. We all got fed early so that she won't feel pressured eating solo.

Kirstie was back to her extra calorific meals, but with smaller portions due to her reduced stomach size. They were going to slowly increase her portions when she ate to expand her stomach. Kevin prayed and we all tucked in. All of us. It was quiet as no one wanted to stop what was happening, even Mitch, and no one said a word until all of the plates were cleared.

"Wow Kirst. Do any of you want dessert?" Kevin asked us. We nodded and he left to get six cupcakes. Mitch, Scott, and Kirstie has chocolate and me, Kevin, and Alex had blueberry. Halfway through her muffin, Kirstie put it down. I looked at her to try and judge what she was thinking. "I can't eat any more Avi. I'm not just saying that, I'm actually stuffed. For the first time in a long time." Kirstie said, looking scared but happy at the same time. She was really trying to get better.

"Kirstie, you don't know how happy this makes me. You've come so far. I'm so proud of you." I said and the others agreed. Scott finished Kirstie's muffin and that's when I looked around the room for the first time since we got our trays. All of the nurses and Jack and Abby were watching us, smiling as Kirstie ate. They all knew her well as she had been here for so long. Jen had tears streaming down her face and was hugging Trevor. Their baby was getting better.

We cleared the trays away and headed to the quad to enjoy the autumn weather. It was really beautiful out there, and the old willow tree was special to me and Kirstie. It was our spot. The spot that we went to when we wanted to be together, alone, and where we could forget about the hospital and just be with each other. The others played a game for Mitch whilst I held Kirstie's hand and watched the wind blow the leaves around.

"It's beautiful isn't it." Kirstie said quietly, breaking the silence. "Yeah. It really is." I said. "Not as beautiful as you though." I continued, looking at my girlfriend. She had gained thirteen pounds, almost a stone, and had her cheeks were less sunken in. Her skin had more colour and her nails were less brittle. Her arms were less twig like and she looked overall way more healthy, and beautiful.

A lot of the weight gain was from the constant feeding tube and lack of walking, but I knew that some would be from her new attitude and desire to get better. Whatever she and Abby had been doing in therapy was magical.

"Avi." Kirstie said. I looked at her and she was frowning a little. "Kit?" I asked, a little nervous. "I really wanted to eat and get better and was really really hungry, but I I think I overdid it." she said, resting her hand on her stomach. I ran over to her chair and grabbed a sick bag from the bottom compartment. She couldn't always keep her feed down.

I ran back and held it for her whilst she took deep breaths. It didn't work though and she was soon gagging and heaving up her lunch. For once, she had actual food in her stomach and was throwing up for a little while because of it. She burped a little as she gasped for air but was eventually done. She wiped her mouth with a tissue Alex passed her and she smiled up at his thankfully.

"Are you okay Kit?" Alex asked. He was back to doing his ten a day and was now up to eight after, "Go Yoshi, beat Mitch!" "Yeah I'm great. Just pushed it a little to much on day one. I'm not giving up though. I will eat my dinner and try to keep it down." she said, determined and unfazed. I hugged her and she looked up at me. "It's hurts though. My stomach isn't fully healed and nor are my stitches." she said. I proceeded to gently rub her stomach to shift the pain and we needed up spending all afternoon out there.

Kevin filled Jen in on earlier, so that when we went to get dinner, Kirstie tray had a smaller portion than at lunch time. Again though, she cleared her plate, but skipped dessert as she wasn't physically wasn't ready to handle it yet though.

And it worked. She did the same thing the next day, throwing up her breakfast but keeping down her lunch and dinner, and had gained two pounds at her next weigh in. That completed a stone! She wheeled herself out of the weigh in room and looked at me, half happy half scared.

"How did it go Kit?" I asked her nervously. "Gained two." she whispered. "Why aren't you happy?" I asked her, crouching down in front of her. Abby opened the door to leave, but just stood in the doorway to watch and not interrupt this moment.

"I am happy, but I'm also scared. I don't want to get fat Avi." she said starting to cry. I took her hand and kissed her knuckles. "You won't get fat Kirst. You're still so skinny and underweight. As you gain more weight and your metabolism corrects itself, your body will maintain a healthy weight, you won't get fat by eating how you do now." I told her. She nodded and smiled at me, wiping her tears away.

"Well I guess we better celebrate then!" she yelled cheerfully and wheeled quickly down to 108. I followed her and after telling the others the news, we decided to have a party in the common room that afternoon. Alex would buy some snacks from the gift shop as he had the most money, and Kirstie would go with him to pick what she wanted. They did that and we played lots of games from the cupboards and video games, before finishing the evening with 'Frozen'. I'm not a fan but our two less broken children are though, so we watched it, yet again. It really needs a dragon or ten.

Abby and Jack let us skip therapy that day to have fun and it was the best day that we had had in a long time. I text my parents to tell them what had happened and they were going to bring down a special present for Kirstie when they visited the next day. I wondered what it could be...


	31. Moving

Part 31:

Third person:

"No Kirstie! Don't do it!" Avi screamed as he ran towards the love of his life. "Why shouldn't I! No one cares about me, heck even I don't care about me!" Kirstie yelled back at him as she backed away slowly. Scott and Mitch were running up the stairs, with Trevor behind them, on their way.

"I care about you Kirstie. I love you more than I can comprehend. I can't do this without you." Avi said softly feeling himself break down. Scott and Mitch pushed at the doors, unable to open them. They were jammed somehow. "Avi I love you too. And that's why I have to do this. You're life will be easier without me." Kirstie said with tears pooling in her eyes, threatening to spill down her ashen cheeks.

"No please. We can get through this together. Remember you and me, leaving together, hand in hand." Avi said, trying to make her sentimental. She scoffed at that. "It's ridiculous. You're way better, you can leave soon. I'll be stuck here forever, like Moaning Myrtle. And like our relationship will last outside of here. You'll go back to being the strong, popular man that I know you are, and I'll go back to being the stupid kid that crumbles under pressure and spazzes out on the floor!" she yelled, getting angry.

Trevor pushed at the door with all of the strength that he had and it burst open, with him, Scott, and Mitch running through them moments later. Kirstie turned around, not wanting to see the look in Avi's eyes. She read it as a look of anger and disgust, but it was really a look of terror, fear, and love.

Scott raced over to Avi's as he took some more steps towards the trembling girl. The cold was getting to her, getting to all of them, and the surfaces were very slippery, dangerously so. Kirstie turned back one last time to look at Avi as he raced towards her, before he froze, stopped in his tracks by the sad smile that was contorted onto her weathered face.

"I love you Dragon. Don't you ever forget that." Kirstie said softly, as she stepped off of the edge of the roof, falling fifteen stories down to the solid ground below. Her body hit it with a sick crack that made Avi sick to his stomach. He leant over to his side and emptied his entire system, still unable to move his feet, which were now glued to the rooftop by the once freeing rain, helpless as Trevor raced to the edge of the roof, almost slipping over himself, as he took in the sight of Kirstie's mangled body, and as Scott grabbed Mitch, terrified that he would fall over or break down crying.

The sound replayed in an endless loop in his brain, along with her last words. "I love you Dragon. Don't you ever forget that." "Dragon? Dragon? DRAGON!"

Avi's pov:

I shot up with a start, and looked around the room that I was in. It wasn't a rooftop, it's furniture was around the edges, and was immaculate and minimalistic. It was Kirstie's room. As the ringing in my ears began to subside, I saw a beautiful faux blonde sitting up next to me, with one of her slender hands on my back, and the other on my bicep. There was a frown on her face, and her eyes were shining with concern.

I had had a nightmare. I dreamt of Kirstie's death, again, and once again, I had been unable to stop it. God, I really needed to stop having those dreams. I lay back down slowly, and Kirstie immediately cuddled up into me. Her ribs and elbows weren't so prominent and sharp, and it didn't feel like hugging a bag of bones anymore, just a very tiny girl.

As I lay flat on my back panting, Kirstie tapped 'I love you' onto my chest, directly over my heart, and sang a song that she had written recently for my birthday, as she couldn't afford anything "Special enough for my Dragon." I loved loved loved the song though, it was called 'Water' and always made me smile, without fail. That's probably why she sang it then, to calm me down.

When I was fully recovered, Kirstie leant over and kissed me, right on the lips, but not for very long, just long enough to leave me craving more. It was like she could read my mind. "I'm still here Dragon. I won't leave you." she said softly, understanding the gist of the nightmares that plagued me.

I rolled onto my side so that I was now spooning Kirstie, happy that I was now holding her in my arms, protecting her, and this is how we fell asleep. Again.

\- - -

"Good morning Kirstie. Good morning Avi. Get up." Jen said as she wheeled her cart into the room. She found out that I had been sneaking into Kirstie's room at night after one of Kirstie's monitors had gone off silently and she came in thinking there was trouble. What had really happened was I had cuddled her and this had shifted a probe a little bit, but she didn't mind. I think she may have known all along.

"Morning Jen." I said as I sat up. I looked down at the sleeping girl next to me and smiled. "She's a keeper Avi. No matter what." Jen said as she handed me my anti anxiety medication. I nodded, "Definitely." Then, I had the great pleasure of waking Kirstie up. I leant over her body and kissed her on the tip of her nose, rousing her instantly. Her eyelashes fluttered as she slowly opened her eyes. She looked up at me and smiled.

"Good morning Avi and Jen." she said as she stretched carefully. Jen passed her her medication and she took it, now off of the injections and monitors. I left so that I could get dressed and ready for the sad day ahead. I got dressed and picked up my present, and also Kevin and Kirstie on my way to the cafeteria. Alex was already there, now always early as he didn't have to wait for anyone.

"Hey Alex! Aww thanks Lexi." Kirstie said when she saw that Alex had gotten everyone's trays. She kissed him on the cheek before she sat down. Oh yeah, she was walking now, and only on the cannula for eight hours a day, though she did have a special inhaler that she used frequently. 

Kevin sat down and hid his present underneath the table and the rest of us followed suit. He wouldn't look down there. I then heard yelling coming from down the corridor and knew that it was Mitch, and by default, Scott. Mitch and Scott entered the cafeteria hand in hand, though Mitch broke away when he saw us, and ran over. He jumped onto Kevin's back and Kevin made a loud 'oof' noise before he got up to play along.

He stood up and ran around the cafeteria twice, enjoying Mitch's bizarre yet wonderful outlook on everything, before he headed back to his plate and Scott took Mitch. We all sat down and Kevin prayed, before we all began to eat. All of us had scrambled eggs on toast, no special meals, and a bottle of ketchup to share between us.

"Who wants some blood?" Alex asked as he offered the ketchup around. We all took some, apart from Scott who lost his ketchup craving when Alex called it blood. "I can't believe you're getting out today Mitch." Kevin said, hugging the smaller boy.

Mitch had two conditions that couldn't be cured, only managed, and he was at the best that he had ever been. His flips were few and far between, and he had gotten better at acting his age, even if it wasn't always, like when he got excited such as right then, so therefore he could leave today, but would have a caseworker since he still required full time observation. For his own safety.

"I always thought that Kevo would be next." I said, before taking a giant bite of my toast and getting buttery crumbs in my beard. "It's snowing." Scott joked, making everyone laugh. "Yeah well I am getting out next week." Kevin said, remembering what he would be doing in eight days time. Everything had been organised. Kirstie would move into 108 with me, and Scott would move in with Alex, freeing up a whole room on the floor, and rooms were in large demand.

We did our usual tradition of giving and opening presents, with Kevin getting a shit ton of books (how fitting) and Mitch getting a lot of Spongebob merchandise (same comment) before we dropped Mitch off upstairs. We did Kevin's presents today as Mitch wanted to be there to give him his own present.

Mitch's Dad, Mike I believe, ran in and scooped up his son easily, before he kissed him on the top of his head. His Mum, Nel, ran in after Mike and hugged her son so tightly Mitch had to break out. Yes, Mitch terminated a hug, I did say that he had gotten a lot better. Mike then came over and hugged Scott, thanking him for everything that he had done for Mitch, saying that Scott was a part of their family.

I could literally see the pride and joy flood Scott's body. His posture straightened and he blushed deeply, tears threatening to spill down his cheeks. That was basically Mike and Nel's blessing... maybe one day. They then went to all of us and thanked us, so grateful that we had protected and loved their "Mitchie" like they did. It was very emotional. Then Mike took Mitch's suitcase and wheeled it to the waiting car.

Scott picked Mitch up and kissed him passionately, like I did to Kirstie, and told him that he would always find Scott "right here." (he pointed to Mitch's heart) and said that he would see Mitch as soon as possible, even if he head to break out. I'm pretty certain that the last part was a joke.

Mitch began to cry, not wanting to leave us, as we were all family to him, but we all repeated that we would see him soon. At the mention of seeing Wyatt from Mike, Mitch cheered up and left with his parents, holding both of their hands and they were swinging him like a toddler.l whilst he giggled. I knew that Mitch would always be safe.

\- - -

"Hey Kirst! What is in this box? It's so heavy!" I yelled at her from 108 as she went back to get more boxes. "Oh those are all of my books. You know the ones." she said. She meant her brainy books, as I referred to them as. No wonder the box was so heavy. "There are two more of those boxes to come!" she called back.

I groaned and rolled my eyes, wishing that we had gotten Kevin to help us move Kirstie in with me before he had left, but we didn't think that far ahead. That's why we needed Kevin, the Father. Scott and Alex came in with another bag of clothes and proceeded to hang them in the wardrobe. I went to get more boxes and kissed my beautiful girlfriend as I passed her in the corridor, carrying her toiletries that we males hadn't been allowed to touch.

I made Kirstie's bed with her beautiful flower bedding, knowing that she wouldn't actually be using it anytime soon. It would be weird for us to cuddle and sleep in Kevin's bed (it would always be Kevin's bed) so we had both silently agreed to not touch it after it was made, just the way he would have liked. I even made it to his standard before leaving to get another box.

That night, me and Kirstie cuddled in my bed for the first time, also with me not having to sneak out into her room, again for the first time, and we fell asleep quickly, to the sound of each other's heartbeats, beating as one.


	32. Healed

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m just going to put all three (maybe four) books in here but each book will restart the chapter numbers and it will be clear. Thanks to everyone who has read this book and check out my stuff on Wattpad under the same name.

Part 32:

Avi's pov:

"Get out!" Kirstie yelled and I had to dodge as a shoe came flying towards my head. I dived for the ground and it slammed into the closed door behind me. "Avi! Go away!" she screamed, turning bright red in the face. Her whole body was shaking in presumed anger but there was a reserved sorrow in her eyes, looking like she was about to cry.

"Kirst, what did I do?" I asked her desperately, not sure why I was being pelted with belongings. I knew that she had just gotten her period back after a couple of dry years but it wouldn't be that. I honestly don't know what I did, or didn't do, to get her so riled up but this was the angriest I had ever seen Kirstie. I didn't even know she could get angry.

"You know what you did! Get out!" she repeated, turning around to grab a pillow. I knew that my presence in our room wasn't wanted, so I left. I headed down to the common room to find Scott and Alex, knowing that they were pretty sane people. They may even be able to tell me what I did wrong as they are Kirstie's sisters.

I found Scott and Alex playing Bop It. So lame but there wasn't much else to do now that basically half of us were gone. They saw my distraught face and instantly put down the stupid toy. They both ran over to me. "What's wrong Avi? You look so sad." Alex stated, pulling me into the red couch. We could now all sit wherever we wanted, though we often didn't, out of respect for Jake and Kevin.

"I did something to Kirstie. I don't know what, but she got so mad. I came back from my meeting with Abby and she began to scream at me to get out and she threw things at me." I stated, my body trembling at the memory, which was fresh in my mind, and my heart.

"God. Kirstie on a rampage. What did you do Avi? Murder all of the puppies in the world?" Scott asked me jokingly, not realising how serious I was. I looked up at him, my eyes full of sorrow and his smirk morphed into a frown, affected by my energy sucking abilities. "She wasn't just mad though. There was something else. It looked like sorrow, I only saw it briefly, but it scared me." I said.

"Is there anything that she asked you to do that you didn't. Or anything that you may have done wrong?" Alex asked me. That's when I noticed his suitcase in the corner, all packed. I crashed a party that I was simultaneously late to. Crap!

"No. I-I don't think so. I literally kissed her goodbye, spoke to Abby, and then went back and she was an entirely new person." I said. Scott frowned in thought. "How long were you gone for?" He asked, thinking that maybe she was just lonely or scared. "I don't know, about an hour. Not long enough to do that." I added.

"What did you talk to Abby about?" Alex asked me. That was an easy one. "About leaving next wee-oh my god." I said as I realised what I had done wrong. I was leaving her, Kevin was already gone. Alex and Scott we're leaving in the next couple of weeks, leaving Kirstie all alone, like before she came here all those years ago.

"I'm an idiot. I didn't talk to her. She thinks I abandoned her like her parents did." I said, jumping up. I had to find her. "Go!" Alex yelled at me as I ran out of the room. Just as I turned the corner, I heard the faint sound of an American man saying "Twist it!".

I ran back to 108 and threw open the door, finding Kirstie sat on our bed, looking at her hands, with tear tracks staining her flawless skin. "Kirst, baby, I'm so sorry. I should have spoke to you about everything. I love you and I'll never leave you. Do you forgive me?" I asked her. I held my breath in anticipation of her response. I didn't know if she would cry, yell, run away, or what else she could do.

What I didn't expect was for her to do nothing. Literally nothing, except breathe. "Kirst?" I asked her, before I noticed that her fingers were twitching, like she was about to clutch her hands into fists, then change her mind halfway and straighten them out again, repeatedly. She was having an absent seizure. I shouldn't have left her, not in that state, even if she wanted me to, or at least pretended to want me to.

"Kirstie!" I yelled, alarmed, and crouched down in front of her still body, that now filled out her clothes a little more, and held her moving hands. She came back to me a few seconds after, grounded by my touch. She looked up into my eyes, and I could see her becoming fully aware of everything. She didn't have the strength or will to pull away so she just collapsed into my arms, sobbing her little, healing heart out.

I repeated what I had told her before, kissing her forehead after every few words, and rocked her backwards and forwards until she quietened down and hugged me tightly. "I love you Avi. I'm sorry for hurting you and for yelling, I just wanted to distance myself from you before you left and forgot about me. I thought it would make everything easier." she whispered, looking into my eyes.

I sighed, amused by her thought process. "I wouldn't do that Kirst. And you'll be with me soon anyway." I said. "But what about us leaving together, hand in hand, Avi. I want that so badly." she said, frowning a little. That expression didn't belong on her face. I lifted up her chin to look me in the eyes and I saw the purest of souls staring back at me. I could easily get lost in her hazel eyes, like a sailor in unfamiliar seas, except that her eyes were familiar to me, they were my home.

"It will happen Princess. It will."

\- -

And I am happy to report that as of this day, I have never broken a promise to my angel.

I wrapped my arm around Kirstie as we rode the elevator down to the ground floor. She had tears in her eyes from the long and emotional goodbyes with the staff that she had relied on for so long and had grown to love. And the feelings were mutual. I had my other hand resting on Kirstie's packed suitcase.

When the elevator stopped, I wheeled the case out and led a nervous Kirstie behind me. She hadn't seen the outside world in over three years. But now she could, without any tubes or nurses or social workers. A fresh start for my Princess. I saw my parents waiting for us, Josh was stood next to them, and Esther was next to him with her arms open. Kirstie ran over to her and launched herself into those arms. Esther laughed and kissed the top of her head, delighted to see her new sister.

My parents then hugged their new daughter whilst Josh loaded her bag into the car. Jake, Mitch, Kevin, Alex, and Scott all stood waiting to hang out. We were going to McDonald's to celebrate the last of us getting out. The heptad reunited again.

Kirstie and I stood in front of the doors. Two completely new people, one soul. I remembered my first day coming here, freaking out and a nervous, rage filled, self loathing wreck. And Kirstie, the fragile goddess. No longer fragile, no longer a wreck.

She held her hand out to me and turned her face to look at me. She was smiling, her cheeks rosy, her eyes sparkling in the light, which made her blonde hair shine like gold in the light. I took her small hand and cradled it in my larger one.

"Together?" she asked me.

"Always."

\- - -

End of book 1


	33. Life After: 1

Part 1:

Kirstie and I stood in front of the doors. Two completely new people, one soul. I remembered my first day coming here, freaking out and a nervous, rage filled, self loathing wreck. And Kirstie, the fragile goddess. No longer fragile, no longer a wreck.

She held her hand out to me and turned her face to look at me. She was smiling, her cheeks rosy, her eyes sparkling in the light, which made her blonde hair shine like gold in the light. I took her small hand and cradled it in my larger one.

"Together?" she asked me.

"Always."

-1 year later -

Avi ran down the corridors like a bat out of hell, his shoes squeaking on the freshly polished floors of the cage-like building. It was clean, but it was always clean up here. Avi lost his way once or twice, coming across a door that he knew wasn't on his route, and had to make a dramatic u-turn, whilst still bolting, meaning that he almost fell over once or twice.

Running in the corridors wasn't allowed, it never was, but Avi knew that the staff wouldn't stop him, no one ever did. And this wasn't the first time Avi had done this.

Out of breath and terrified of what he had coming, Avi ran down a familiar corridor, and knew that he was almost there. He skidded to a halt in front of a frowning, and slightly bemused, Kirstin.

"You're late... again." she said, raising one eyebrow at him in an accusing, mysterious, and slightly sexy manner. Avi gulped intimidatedely, in between his pants for breath. "Sorry Kirst. I got held back." Avi said, as he reached out a hand to take hers. She put her heavy bag in his hand and walked ahead of him, making Avi smirk and run again to catch up.

"You always get held back. Anyone would think that you were a terrible Chef." Kirstie said, dropping her annoyed act and grinned at him. "Hey, I'm a great Chef, you said so yourself, and technically I'm not a Chef yet. And you're not a Doctor yet but I don't judge you on your schedule or your work." Avi returned. "Because I'm always on time, well early actually, and you can't understand my work." Kirstie said, taking his hand. She entwined their fingers and merged their palms into one, and Avi sighed.

"You're work is probably right anyways." he said. Kirstie nodded once as they exited the science lab, frequented by physicists and their students, like Kirstie, and they walked, hand in hand, to the car park. Avi unlocked his car new and they both hopped in, putting their bags in the back.

Avi turned the music on and they listened to the CD that Scott and Mitch had given them.

They were trying to get a record deal together under the name 'Superfruit' (which of course Mitch had chosen when he was in a weird mood) and compiled a CD of their finished songs for Avi and Kirstie to listen to and give feedback to as well. There wasn't much to give other than, "It's awesome!"

Avi drove cautiously, now able to do so again without freaking out, and Kirstie sang along in the passenger seat, dancing a little as well, with a voice every bit as fantastic as Scott and Mitch's. 'They should really do a song together' Avi thought as they pulled up to the drive through. They did this every Friday. "Hello. Can I please have two Big Mac's, one Chicken burger, and three strawberry milkshakes please." Avi said. Kirstie poked him in the arm. "Oh and one happy meal toy please." Avi asked before pulling up to the next window to pay. Kirstie kissed his cheek lovingly.

Avi paid quickly and pulled up to the final window to receive the food. The worker passed it to him who then passed it to Kirstie. She put the bag on the floor and held the drinks, sipping one of them for the rest of the journey. Avi noticed her reaching into the bag cautiously. "Ah ah ah. No Kirstie." he said and she pouted, pulling puppy dog eyes at Avi. He rolled his eyes. "One." he sighed and she took out one chip and nibbled on it, after passing one to Avi. He took it and ate it in one bite.

They pulled up at Avi's parents house and they headed in, Kirstie taking the food and Avi taking the school bags. Kirstie went to use her keys to unlock the front door, but Esther opened the door for them. She had just gotten back from her university for the weekend. "Hey sis!" Kirstie smiled and bent down to hug Esther. She hugged back and kissed Kirstie on the cheek, before taking the drinks and wheeling to the kitchen.

Kirstie and Avi took their shoes off before following. Kirstie washed her hands and then took her already sipped on drink and her chicken burger, leaving the Kaplan's to grab their Big Mac's, before they all sat down at the table together. "Ooooh I got a Piglet. He completes my Winnie the Pooh collection!" Kirstie squealed, showing him to Avi. He smiled due to Kirstie's cuteness. "How was your day?" Avi asked Esther, who swallowed quickly before replying, "Good. Didn't really do much. I had a lecture but it was pretty boring." she said, rolling her eyes just the way her brother does, before turning to Kirst.

"What about you? Did you do anything fun?" she asked her. Kirstie nodded enthusiastically. "Yeah, I got to work on my thesis and my Professor, Dr Cooper, not Dr Hofstadter, made me present it to the class and praised my work." she said with a big smile that melted Avi's heart. Kirstie was just starting her second year completing a physics degree, working towards her PhD, specialising in theoretical physics but minoring in experimental physics, and was at the top of her class, despite being four years younger than her peers.

"That's awesome Kirst. I'm so proud." Esther said, having a mother's moment, proud of her child as Esther did act a little bit like a mother to Kirstie and Avi, when she wasn't being a big sister, and Kirstie blushed a little. "How about you Avi? Why were you late?" she asked him, looking him right in the eyes, whilst Esther chuckled.

"I had to clean up some spilt salt that I may or may not have knocked over. It was good though, my day that is. I worked on my menu for my first exam and worked on the theory behind it. I'm planning to practise it twice this weekend so save room after this for two sets of five course meals, a la Avi." he declared, causing both girls to groan. "What?" he asked, looking at Kirstie. "I'm gonna need to buy bigger pants." she said, looking down at her skinny jeans. "I'll invite a bunch of people to help clear the food." Esther said, already making a plan.

"Oh, can you invite the gang? I haven't seen them in ages." Kirstie said enthusiastically, making Avi nod. He saw Kevin the most often (when he wasn't working in Africa), after Kirstie of course, but the seven of them hadn't met up in around six months. "We need to finish Superfruit's CD then." Avi said, and left to get it out of his car. Kirstie cleaned up the rubbish, sorting out the recycling from the rest of the rubbish, whilst Esther rang up some of their friends and family.

Kirstie then ran upstairs and changed her clothes, opting for shorts and a shirt, rather than a jumper and jeans, before finding Esther. "Hey sweet. Why did you get changed?" she asked her. "I was hot all day and wanted relief." Kirstie said. It was the start of summer after all. "Okay. Do you want to help?" Esther asked her. Kirstie nodded and they got to work.

Kirstie never wore revealing clothes as she was self conscious, not of her body, but of her self harm scars, so she often wore long clothes. "Have you been putting that cream on them that I got you? It will help them fade." Esther said, knowing what she was hinting at. "Yeah. But it will still take a while." Kirstie said nonchalantly, as she pulled out another phone number for Esther to dial from the family address book. Avi came to help, pulling his girlfriend into his lap and kissing her cheek, causing her to laugh until she was gasping for air, with tears of laughter running down her cheeks. It was teamwork at its finest.

They finished calling people and had somehow managed to get Avi, Kevin, and Scott to stay for the weekend. It was going to be a little reunion. Avi went to go and create an ingredient list when Kirstie squealed. Avi, always acting on instinct after finding her body, ran into the front room, ready to save Kirstie from herself. However, all she needed saving from was a white ball of fluff trying to climb onto her lap.

"Olaf. Down." Avi said sternly and Olaf crawled off of Kirstie's lap, and lay down on the floor, sulking at Kirstie's feet whilst glaring at Olaf. Kirstie giggled. "Avi he's just a puppy. He got excited, that's all." Kirstie said defensively, smiling widely. She always did that when Olaf was around. Avi got him for her for her seventeenth birthday four months ago. She fell in love with him immediately and they have become inseparable.

"You're not big enough for him to do that to you for much longer. He is a big boy and will squash you." Avi said, running a hand through her hair. Kirstie snuggled into his hand. "I know, but I love it when he sits on me. He loves to cuddle." she began, "Anyway, I think he needs a walk. Do you want to come?" she asked him, to which Avi unfortunately had to refuse. "I'd love to Kit but I need to make this list. Why don't you walk Olaf and of you're up for it, we can walk to the shops. If not, we can drive." Avi said. Kirstie agreed to this and left to take Olaf for a walk.

Avi headed back into the kitchen and finished just in time for Kirstin to come back, with a list consisting of five pages of ingredient. As much as he would love to walk, they would need to drive. There was no way that two people could carry all of that food. Avi headed into the front room and found Kirstie laying on the sofa whilst Olaf drank a lot of water.

"How was it?" he asked her. She looked up at him and smiled. "It was good. I saw Millie and Cara, and also the Greene twins. Olaf was a good boy as well." she said. "Well I'm finished but we will have to drive. There's so much stuff. Do you want to go now?" he asked her, since she was still wearing her shoes. "Sure. Let's go." she said and they headed out, after telling Esther that they were leaving. They have to pick up granola bars for her.

Avi drove again and Kirstie read through the list, changing some of the brands to fit their budget. Having four children at university did mean that the Kaplan's didn't have lots of money. Kirstie's parents gave her none of what she had earned, meaning that Avi and Kirstie had to both get jobs, but they still didn't have much money to spare.

Avi parked the car and quickly got out, and ran to the passenger side of the door to get Kirstie's door. "M'lady." Avi said, bowing a little. Kirstie giggled curtseyed a little, pretending that she was wearing a skirt, and he wrapped his arm around her shoulder, as they headed to the shops.

They picked up the things that they needed, as Kirstie pushed the trolley whilst Avi ran ahead, completely in his element. Every few items, Kirstie would refuse one of them and find a better alternative, either in terms of price or nutrition, or occasionally because it was FairTrade. She supported the organisation.

Avi was like a kid in a candy store, running around and grabbing various spices, proteins, and vegetables. "Hey Kirst, look at this!" Avi yelled, running over to her, waving seven carrots in her face. "Yes Avi, they're carrots..." she said, not understanding. "But LOOK at them Kit. They're in such good condition, and perfectly ripe, look at the colour." Avi said and Kirstie smiled at how cute and adorable he was being, smiling his Avi-licious smile. It was beautiful.

"You're right Dragon. They're perfect. Thy probably taste awesome too." she said and he bagged them, before putting them in the trolley. "Yeah." he said, and grabbed another carrot, and washed it with a bottle of water that Kirstie had put in her handbag for Olaf but hadn't used. He took a big bite out of it and smiled.

Kirstie gasped at the illegal act he was pulling, so of course, Avi shoved the carrot in her mouth, forcing her to bite down, and now she too was a felon. They ate the carrot and finished shopping. Avi went to pay with his credit card, and Kirstie stopped him. "Umm, can you charge us for eight carrots. We kind of washed and ate one." she said. The cashier looked at her like she was crazy. "You know that you don't have to admit to that. Most people do it without telling us or even wash it." he said. "I know, but I don't want to steal." she said, and in that moment, Avi was mesmerised by his angel.

After loading the food into the car, they headed home and packed the fridge up, and the carrots. It all just fit. "Do you want to go to the farmers market tomorrow to get some other stuff?" Avi asked Kirstie just as they finished. "Are you sure? I mean, don't we have enough food?" she asked him. Avi laughed out loud. "You can never have too much food Kirst." he said and she rolled her eyes at Avi's antics.

She went to have a shower and headed to bed, and was joined by Avi shortly later. Yes, she had her own room, Josh's old room to be exact, but she often slept with Avi. His parent trusted them to keep everything non-intercoursey, and they did, but they did kiss and cuddle. A lot. It was fun and was completely different to cuddling in the hospital. First, the bed was bigger and more comfortable, but more importantly, they were both healthy and free.

Yes, Kirstie still had issues occasionally with her view of herself, and still had seizures, but she was happy and healthy. Avi still had nightmares occasionally, and still had anxiety on the motorway, but he could drive again, and always had Kirstie to cuddle him after a nightmare. Life was great one year on.


	34. Reunion

Chapter 2:

"Aviiiii!" Kirstie cried, gently hitting Avi's arm as he lifted her up in the air, catching her by surprise. "Hey Princess." he said and kissed her cheek. Avi had gone downstairs to start preparing his food for when everyone else turned up, and Kirstie and Esther had gone out to get their nails done. Kirstie wanted to look her best for the others.

"How's it going?" she asked him as she sat down at the kitchen table, and moved a pile of bags of ingredients, to make room for her laptop. She had some work to do. "Good. Here, taste this." he said and passed her a spoon with a greeny-yellow filling. Kirstie put the spoon partly in her mouth and took a bite of the filling before passing it back to Avi. "Well?" he asked her, and that's when Kirstie noticed that he was wearing the apron that she had gotten him for Christmas.

"It's great. Could use a little more pepper though." she said and stood up, walking over to him to 'Kiss the cook!' and did so, pecking his cheek. "Well it looks like I have all the sugar I need." he said, making Kirstie roll her eyes and pull back. "Okay then, no more sugar for you." she said playfully and went to sit back down.

"No! I was wrong! You can never have too much sugar!" Avi yelled and grabbed Kirstie's wrist, spinning her around, and he kissed her deeply; she allowed his tongue to dominate her, and they didn't pull back until they heard a little "Ahem." Kirstie and Avi span around to come face to face with Avi's parents Shelley and Michael. "Oh." Avi said. Kirstie turned bright red and buried her head in his chest, humiliated.

"I remember when we were like that." Michael said nonchalantly, putting his wallet away. Shelley laughed and Avi and Kirstie cringed. Hearing their parents talking physical romance made them feel uncomfortable. "Okay Dad, stop creeping them out. Avi, get back to work or we will have a bunch of hungry guests." Esther said, entering the room and controlling the situation, much to Kirstie's relief as she felt the tips of her ears turning red.

"Awww, Kit." Es said and gave her a hug. "You traumatised her." she said, looking at Michael. "No, I just feel so awkward." Kirstie said, laughing a little. "Mission accomplished then." Michael said, walking out of the room. Avi rolled his eyes and turned back to his food. It was then that Kirstie realised that she had tasted the filling for his chicken roulade. Watching Avi tie the chicken breast together with twine and toothpicks was so funny as his fingers were too big to keep the roulade together and tie the knots, meaning that it kept on falling apart.

Kirstie giggled and got up to help Avi. She hurried over to him and put her finger in the middle of the twine, like when you go to tie a bow on a Christmas present, and Avi was able to tie the knot. They did this twice more before Avi applied the picks and wrapped it in clingfilm, as he was poaching it. "Thanks babe." he said and kissed her cheek. Kirstie headed upstairs to get ready whilst Avi continued on cooking.

She walked upstairs and began to look through her wardrobe, trying to find an outfit to go with her now metallic blue nails. She went with a long top, skinny jeans, a blue jacket, and dark blue lipstick, and a little smoky eye shadow. When Kirstie had finished her make up, she wandered into Esther's bedroom to find the older girl glaring at her leggings.

"Hey sis." Kirstie said, walking in and closing the door behind her. "Oh hey Kit." Esther said, turning to look at Kirst, before she turned back to her leggings and blushed a little. Esther didn't like to show weakness, and rarely did, so Kirstie knew that she wouldn't ask for what she really needed. She liked to help Esther when she needed it, as Esther had helped her before, on several occasions, even when she was at her worst.

Kirstie shuddered at the memories as they flooded back into her mind, and squeezed her eyes tight shut, not wanting to relive the pain. She shook her head, loosening the memories until they faded away and she opened her eyes again, to see Esther staring at her, a little concerned. She really hated that look.

"You okay?" Es asked her, forgetting about her own dilemma for a little while. "Hmm? Oh yeah, I'm fine. Do you need help?" Kirstie asked her, remembering why she was in there. "Do you mind?" Esther asked her, looking down at her hands, embarrassed. "Of course not." Kirstie said, and took the leggings off of the bed, and then, as she was smaller and weaker than Esther, wrapped her arms around her back and helped Esther transition herself onto the bed.

From there, she let Esther undo her trousers and she lowered them as low as she could reach, before Kirstie had to take over. She lifted them off, over Esther's socks, so that Esther was sat on her bed, in her underwear, in front of Kirstie. If Avi walked in right then, Esther was sure that she would die of embarrassment, but it wouldn't be the first time that Avi had walked in on the two girls like this. Kirstie helped Esther a lot, and Avi generally didn't knock in his home.

Kirstie took the leggings and put them over Esther's socks, before pulling them up to Esther's knees. Esther pulled them up to her upper thighs, before the difficult part came. Kirstie bent down a little, and lifted Esther up, so that she was partly leaning on Kirstie, partly on the edge of her bed, with her useless legs holding up none of her body weight, her feet curling slightly onto her ankles on the floor, as she quickly pulled her leggings up fully.

Kirstie quickly put her down again, completely out of breath, and Esther quickly transferred herself back to her chair, and changed her shirt. Kirstie sat down in the edge of her bed, slowly regaining control of her breathing, as she still has scarred lungs, and Esther swapped to be the one watching Kirstie.

"You okay?" she asked her and Kirstie nodded, her breathing back to normal. "Yep, do you want to go downstairs?" Kirstie asked her and Esther shook her head. "I was wondering if you would straighten my hair for me?" Esther asked her. Kirstie nodded eagerly.

Meanwhile, in the kitchen, Avi finished his roulade and moved on to the dark chocolate and olive oil mousse. It doesn't sound very nice but the olive oil makes the mousse really shine, and makes it silky so that it isn't air bubbly and cheap, but smooth and luxurious. It also contributed to a mouthwatering smooth mouth feel after eating. That's why it was the last dish, that, and it was rich. There would be a small sorbet afterwards (optional) to cleanse the pallet if someone wanted it.

He had really thought this through, and Avi was so excited to let the people that he cared the most about, try his menu. He finished a little while later, hours after he started, and was washing up when he heard the doorbell ring. He answered it and saw a couple of relatives and Esther's and Kirstie's friends. He let them in and offered them drinks, yelling for "housemates" as he had to fry the prawns.

His parents, sister, and girlfriend, came running and took over the jobs of host. Avi fried the prawns and began to plate up fifteen seafood starters. He heard the door go again, but didn't wonder who it was until he heard a "Hey Brother." and he whipped around, almost fast enough to give himself whiplash, to see Kevin standing in the kitchen doorway. He ran over and embraced Kevin in a 'manly' hug, happy to be seeing him again.

Kevin looked a little different, he had grown his permanently short hair out a bit, keeping it neat, Kevin style, but was wearing jeans and a shirt, one that did reveal his bulging muscles. Kevin had always been big and muscular, but had really toned his body in recent months. That's what Africa does for you apparently.

"How are you?" Avi asked him, sitting down at the kitchen table, passing Kevin a beer, the only alcoholic drink that he would touch. Kevin took a sip and smiled before answering. "I'm really good Avi. The happiest I have been in a long time." Kevin said. "How so?" Avi asked him, wanting to know who or what had made him smile to much. "Well I got back from Africa a few weeks ago, finishing my second tour with the Doctors Without Borders, and helped so many lovey people. Then my younger sister, Kyla, asked to move in with me, I love her so much and I can't wait to be seeing her more often." Kevin said.

Avi had met Kyla once, at Kevin's last birthday party. She was an eleven year old girl, very tall for her age, and very sporty. She was kind though, and Avi remembered liking her. "That's great Kev. I'm so happy for you." Avi said, genuinely meaning it. He filled Kevin in on his life now, and Kirstie joined in when she came in and sat on his lap.

A little while later, Esther led four more people into the kitchen. Scott, Mitch, Jake, and Alex were all living together in a large apartment a little way out of the city. Like Kirstie, Scott and Mitch left Texas, and wanted to live together, but couldn't afford the rent. Jake and Alex, deciding to be just friends, were having the same trouble, so they had all rented one place together, three bedrooms, two bathrooms, a balcony. It was nice.

Alex came in first and headed for hugs with each of his family members, lifting Kirstie off of the ground and spinning her a little bit. The others came in for hugs, and Kevin was once again surprised by Mitch's progress. The conditions that Mitch had, Bipolar Disorder, and Peter Pan Syndrome, are not curable, just manageable, but with Scott's help, Mitch just kept on defying Kevin's expectations.

He was wearing grown up clothes, and was calm, despite being excited, and was only fidgeting with his hands a little, rather than, say, running laps around the room. He held Scott's hand to calm himself when he needed it, and gave decent length hugs. Kirstie actually has to pull him back in for a longer embrace.

They all sat down, minus Avi, who was dealing with plating up course two and taking his bread out of the oven. Jake had gotten a job at a bank, working in the office as a supply manager, and was enjoying his structured and grown up job. Alex was taking an Art Degree at the same university that Esther attended, and had a piece in an exhibit next month. That was awesome. Scott and Mitch had Superfruit, obviously, and it was going well. They were all doing so well.

Esther had to drag them all to the dining room, with random patio chairs, stools, even an armchair, to the table, put there by Josh and Michael, so that everyone had a seat. Matt had turned up by them too, and was also doing well. He caught them up whilst they were enjoying the second course. After the fourth course, Kirstie was struggling, despite only eating half of all of her previous plates, due to her smaller stomach, and had to give Scott the rest of her food. Scott didn't mind, and neither did Avi. She wasn't relapsing, she just had physical damage, so he didn't mind.

Everyone else ate the last course and moved to the front room, dragging their chairs behind them, so that they could all sit down in the front room also. Avi decided to leave the washing up for when he didn't feel like he was going burst. Avi recorded all of the feedback, and was so happy with it all.

Due to the warm food in their stomachs, Kirstie, Mitch, and Esther fell asleep, Kirstie on Avi, Mitch on Scott, and Esther on Darien, her boyfriend that Avi and Josh had both thankfully approved, and the others found them very cute. Avi sighed, shifting his true love onto his hip. The heptad were staying the night, they were all sleeping downstairs, but everyone else began to leave. Darien decided to stay at the last minute, in Esther's room, so none of the sleeping beauty's had to wake up. Scott put on Ready Player One, and they watched that, not ready to move.

Mitch woke up first, and instinctively kissed Scott's cheek, yawned, and rolled over to watch the movie. Kirstie woke up a little later, as Avi was placing her in Kevin's arms so that he, and a kind Jake, could wash up. She groaned and looked up at him, her eyelashes fluttering groggily as she looked up at Avi sadly. He heard Alex go "Awww." and then Scott hit him. Thanks Scott.

Kevin took Kirstie whilst Jake and Avi went to clean up. She woke up and didn't feel right. Kirstie couldn't explain it if she was asked to, so she decided to keep quiet, not wanting Avi to feel upset as if she felt ill, then he would blame himself and his food.

Esther woke up late in the evening, as everyone had skipped dinner, honestly not needing it, and had headed off to bed in Darien's arms, leaving the chair downstairs in the hallway. Avi's parents had gone to bed as well, so the heptad decided to get into their pyjamas.

The four roomies took turns using the downstairs bathroom, and the other three used the upstairs one, so that within half an hour, as Kirstie and Mitch took a long time, they were ready to sleep and talk, but not at the same time obviously.

Kirstie went to the bathroom a little while later, needing the toilet, and still felt strange. She sat down on the edge of the bathtub, wanting to figure out what was wrong. If she didn't, then she would have to tell Avi, and she didn't want to do that. She stood up and ran the cold tap, and splashed her face before drying herself with a towel, trying to make herself feel better, whilst cleaning her face.

Suddenly, she felt a strange urge, one that she hadn't felt in a long time, and before she knew what she was doing, she was kneeling over the toilet, with her fingers down her throat, gagging before she threw up. Kirstie didn't stop until she felt empty, and only then realised what she had done. She had purged, for the first time in over a year, and had thrown up all of the lovely food that Avi had made.

Everything came crashing down on her and she flushed the toilet, and cleaned herself up, before letting the hot tears fall, and ran to Esther's room, disgusted with herself and so so guilty for hurting Avi. She had ruined everything. She pushed open the door, and luckily Esther and Darien were too full to do anything apart from cuddle, so when Kirstie burst in, they were fully clothed.

Esther sat up and reached out for Kirstie, who ran over to her, and crawled into bed next to Esther. Darien went to get Avi, but Kirstie murmured stop and Esther, having heard her, shook her head at Darien, who decided to just sit down next to the girls and rub Kirstie's back. She sobbed for ten minutes, unable to stop herself as she was just so mad at herself. Avi was going to be crushed.

"Hey Kirst, sweetie, what's the matter?" Esther asked her as Kirstie began to calm down, and she hiccuped before responding. "I-I threw u-up." she said shakily, before sniffling a little. "Are you sick honey?" Esther asked her but Kirstie shook her head. "Then why?" Darien asked her, just as Esther realised what she meant.

"Kirstie, did you purge?" she asked her, lifting Kirstie's head out from her stomach to look her in the eyes. Kirstie nodded sadly and whispered "I'm sorry." Esther turned to look at Darien, who had put two and two together by now, and said "Get Avi." Darien did and Avi was in Esther's room a minute later, holding Kirstie in his arms. "Thank you Es, Dar." he said and carried Kirstie to his room.

"What's wrong sweetie." Avi asked her, and she whimpered, scared of how he would react. "I threw up?" she said. "On purpose?" Avi asked, praying that she would say no, but she slowly nodded her head yes. He felt his heart drop to his knees. "Why Kirstie?" he asked her gently, knowing that getting mad would not help.

"I felt sick all afternoon but didn't want to disturb you, but I felt an urge, and before I knew what I was doing, I had thrown up all of the lovey food that you made me. I didn't mean to do it, it was like I wasn't in control of my body. I'm so so sorry Avi." she said quietly, getting quieter and quieter, until she was barely whispering.

This hurt. Avi felt truly hurt that Kirstie had done this, but he understood that there would be setbacks, and this was just one of them. They were both going to struggle, and he couldn't get mad at her for doing so, as she wouldn't get mad at him if he had a panic attack that made him violent, even if he hurt her. She had eaten an awful lot, and probably over ate, which then awoke the buried bulimic side of Kirstie. They could get through this.

"I'll go pack." Kirstie said and got up, heading quickly to her room. Avi didn't understand what she meant at first, until he saw her packing all of her stuff into a suitcase. "No Kirst! I'm not mad, I love you and it's okay. I know that you didn't mean to. You can't be perfect all of the time, people make mistakes, and I know that you didn't do it on purpose." he said, and took her hands in his, kissing each knuckle, before kissing her mouth, which tasted of tooth paste.

"I love you Avi. I won't do it again. I promise." Kirstie said. Avi didn't want her making promises that she didn't know that she could keep. "I love you too Kit and I know that you won't. Do you want to have a one off session with Abby, just in case?" Avi asked her. When they had left, Abby had offered them a session or more whenever they wanted, to try and keep them on the right track. Kirstie nodded into his chest and he held her until she calmed down. He would ring Abby the next day.

The couple headed back downstairs and found the others watching Frozen, with two large bowls of popcorn. Kirstie, not full any longer, took some and snacked on it throughout the movie, laying sleepily on Avi's chest, as he occasionally held some popcorn to her lips and she ate that adorably, smiling up at him. She really didn't mean to do it, and would do everything in her power to not slip up again.

They fell asleep, Avi spooning Kirstie, Scott spooning Mitch, and Kevin laying in between Jake and Alex, with the latter two both laying their heads on Kevin's chest, whilst he lay on a couple of pillows, with the TV still on, quietly playing teleshopping. This is how Esther found them the next morning and took a photo, captioning it 'Reunion❤️❤️❤️' and posting it online. Avi could kill her later but he couldn't do anything whilst he was asleep and vulnerable. Her and Darien made them all eggs and bacon, like parents feeding their children, last nights issues forgotten.


	35. Life After: 2

Chapter 3:

Scott woke up to the sensation of something sharp hitting his left nipple. He cracked open one eye and looked down at his chest to see what was going on. He was greeted by a pair of shining eyes looking back up at him, and a wide mouth, grinning in delight as the index finger poked his nipple again. "You have big boobies Scott." Mitch said casually, like he was saying "You are a man." but this was certainly not causal.

Mitch pulled back his finger, ready to pole Scott again when Scott gently trapped Mitch's finger in his hand and brought it to his lips to kiss. He vaguely tasted his coconut body rub on Mitch's fingers and it was fair to say that it turned him on a little. Actually, that's when Scott realises that he had a boner. He wasn't really surprised though, his nipples were being played with whilst he slept, what else was going to happen? He would magically start lactating?

"Mitch, what are you doing?" he asked the smaller boy, who was wearing the most adorable rocket ship pyjamas, whilst Scott's voice as all gruff and hoarse as he had just woken up. "Playing with your boobie." Mitch stated again. Scott sighed and sat up a little, trying to conceal his hips with the duvet. Thankfully Mitch's as focusing on his chest so that wasn't an issue. "You have big boobies. Like massive. Mahoobies. I don't, I have nothing. Why is that Scott?" Mitch asked Scott seriously, pulling down his blue pyjama top.

Scott was trying not to laugh at the situation he found himself in, and decided to deal with this now before Mitch went to breakfast and told Alex and Jake that Scott have big breasts. Because he would, you know. "First of all, Mitch, I gave no problem with whatever your sexuality is, I love you, but men, and even many women pull their shirts up to reveal their abdomen, you look like you're trying to breast feed or something." Scott said. Mitch blushed.

"Cool. Also, I don't have 'boobies' as I'm a man. I have a chest like you, which is why you don't have 'boobies' too. Mine is bigger because I work out a lot and therefore have a lot of muscle on my chest, which is why it is bigger than yours." Scott explained, using Mitch's terminology of 'boobies' so that he would understand. Mitch nodded once, deep in thought.

"That makes sense. I like your chest muscles Scott." he said adorably, making Scott flush with heat. "Thank you Mitchie. I love your everything." Scott said before kissing Mitch deeply, not caring about morning breath. "Now why don't you go and find Ali whilst I get up." Scott said and Mitch nodded, walking out of the room slowly, no longer acting like he was running on six espressos. Thankfully.

Scott headed quickly to the upstairs bathroom and took care of himself in the shower before drying himself and getting dressed. He brushed and gelled his hair, sighing when he saw no eyebrows, before he headed down the stairs, following the sound of the toaster popping and cereal being poured.

Mitch was downing a bowl of Coco Pops and Alex was eating some Marmite toast, whilst Jake was buttering his own toast. "Morning Scott." Alex said, and Scott replied. He made himself a bowl of Cornflakes and read the newspaper, searching for any ads in the music and arts section, and coming up black. Oh well, he did this every morning and never expected to find anything.

Jake and Alex headed off to work and school, leaving the lovebirds in the house. Scott washed up their bowls whilst Mitch did the crossword from the paper, like every morning. Scott passed Mitch his pills to control his disorders, a lot less than he took at the hospital, and Mitch quickly took them, as when he took his pills, Scott would give him a chocolate milkshake. And Scott did.

Mitch drank that and then the pair of them got ready. They had a meeting with a record label about creating an EP for their singing group, Superfruit, which could be their big break into the music business as proper artists. This was a dream of theirs shortly after Scott got out of the hospital, when one day Nel, who was there as Scott moved into Mitch's parents' house originally, had heard the two singing along to the radio, and had told them that they should pursue singing. And they did.

They had an album ready to go and they would be showing it to the label today. Avi and Kirstie had loved it, and so had Jake and Alex, and Mitch's parents, and Scott's parents, but it didn't mean that they weren't still nervous. "Scott, don't forget keys again!" Mitch yelled through the apartment, as just the last week, they had gone shopping and left the keys at home, and Alex had locked up after they had left, meaning that they were locked out until Jake could drive home, as fast as he could, and rescue them. They really owed him.

Scott drove them to the studio, as Mitch wasn't allowed to drive, and parked close to the entrance/exit. "Scott." Mitch croaked out terrified, unlike the confident that he was seconds before, "what if they don't like us? What will we do then?" he asked his boyfriend, wanting him to protect him and reassure him that everything would be great.

Scott did just that and kissed the tip of Mitch's nose, and told him, "It will go great." "How do you know?" Mitch asked him curiously, "Because I've heard you sing. You're an angel Mitchie." he said quietly, completely serious, and hugged Mitch, before climbing out of the car. Mitch followed, a lot calmer now, and they headed into the giant fortress of music to get signed in.

"Scott Hoying and Mitchell Grassi here to see Mr Perkins." Scott said, sounding confident, but was really shaking inside. Mitch sensed this and took his hand, squeezing it gently in support, soothing the older boy.

"Okay thank you. Please wear this sticker and wait over there. Mr Perkins will be along soon." the receptionist had said, and pointed them in the direction of the empty waiting area, passing them each a visitor sticker at the same time. They put them on and waited half an hour to be seen.

Mr Perkins greeted them both cheerily and shook their hands. He led them to his office. 'Gods sign' Mitch mouthed to Scott, making him smile and relax more. And Mitch was right.

"Mr Hoying, Mr Grassi, welcome aboard." Mr Perkins had said. "I showed your EP to my bosses and our trial panel and everyone loved you. I am happy to offer you a record deal right now and we can release your EP next month. Congratulation Scott and Mitch." Me Perkins had said, making both boys feel like they could fly over the moon.

The rest of the meeting was a blur of documents and faces and numbers, and they met other people and got officially signed by a record label. They were so excited that they couldn't completely focused. They staggered out of the building, arms around each other, probably looking drunk to anyone that passed by. And to be honest, they were drunk, just not on alcohol but on adrenaline. Adrenaline and excitement.

They drove home and ordered on dinner for Alex and Jake, who got home twenty minutes after them. "We got it!" Mitch yelled at them as they came through the door, resulting in lots of cuddles, flowers and presents from Jake and Alex, and a lot of consumption of wine. The hangover would be so worth it. How many people get to say that they have a hangover because they have achieved their dreams?


	36. Therapy

4:

Scott drove the car in silence as Mitch babbled about something he had watched on the TV earlier. It's not that he didn't want to listen to Mitch, it's just that he couldn't. He hadn't slept much the night before and was exhausted, barely able to keep his focus on the road before him, which he really needed to do unless he really wanted to crash. Which he didn't.

"Scott, are you alright?" Mitch asked him, laying one small hand onto Scott's exposed arm, as he was wearing a blue tank top and shorts. It was hot in Cali. "Hmmm? Oh, yeah. Sorry, just thinking." he said quietly, being brought back to reality by Mitch. He was proud of Mitch for noticing that Scott wasn't alright, rather than just ask him why he wasn't listening to Mitch. He was getting so much better each day that it made Scott's heart swell with pride. And Mitch had been able to keep his adorableness, which was great. It made him cuter.

"What were you thinking about?" Mitch asked him, genuinely intrigued and forgetting about whatever he had been talking about for a minute. "Oh..." Scott began to panic, not having thought about anything good, "Just about yesterday and Superfruit. I'm so excited." he said, having to strain a smile. It was a genuine smile, not forced, but it was hard to make it more than just a slight curling upwards of his lips, so he had to exaggerate it.

"Me too." Mitch said, believing every word that Scott had said. And then he was off again, talking about their record deal and the upcoming album, so so so excited that it genuinely felt like Scott was absorbing some of his energy just by being in the same car as Mitch, and as he pulled up to Mountview Hospital, he felt a little better.

He got out and so did Mitch, before Scott took his hand and led him up the steps to their old floor to see Abby. Mitch saw her once a week to help keep him on track, and talk about things that he couldn't discuss with his Occupational Therapist. Scott went too, Scott went wherever Mitch did, following him blindly with love. Normally no one is there, and as they round the corner to see the door to their old therapy room, they never see anyone and just head straight in to where Abby is waiting for Mitch. When they were all inpatients, Scott wondered if she just sat in there, waiting for someone to counsel.

This time however, there was someone waiting anxiously on the white, plastic chairs which matched the floors of the main hospital corridors, but looked nice in this green area with decorative, wooden panels on the floor. This person had a well trimmed beard and a distinctive man bun.

"Avi!" Mitch cried, running over to him and gave him a quick hug, before remembering his therapy and pulling back to shake his hand. Avi laughed, more relaxed upon seeing two of his best friends, and took Mitch's hand to pull him back into a hug. "Hey Sugarplum." Avi said, well growled actually due to his deep voice, making Mitch giggle at the nickname.

"Hey Scott." Avi said, smiling at the tall boy, unable to get up due to Mitch still sitting on his lap. Scott patted Mitch's bottom, causing him to get up and give Avi back some of his personal space, whilst he giggled again. "Hey Av. Why are you here?" Scott asked him. Everyone was aware that Mitch met with Abby once a week, but he didn't know why Avi was here, and why he was sat outside.

"Umm, I booked Kit an appointment." he said quietly, losing his smile once again, frowning at the ground. "What happened?" Scott asked, aware of how good Kirstie had been doing. "You remember when we disappeared at the sleep over?" Avi asked, causing Scott to nod. "Well I had to console Kirstie. She was sobbing, completely hysterical." Avi said, making Superfruit worried.

"Why!" Mitch asked/yelled, causing Avi to flinch. "Well you know that her stomach was partly removed after her, umm, suicide attempt." he continued, and Scott and Mitch nodded in response. "She couldn't finish the food and apparently didn't feel well but didn't tell us. She went to the bathroom to calm down, and she said that it was like she lost control of her body... and she purged." Avi said, clearly upset. Mitch audibly gasped.

"She was so upset and disgusted with herself for slipping up after all of this time that Esther had to try and calm her down whilst Darien got me and she tried to pack and leave me, as she thought that I wouldn't want her. I had to reassure her that a slip up was okay. She's seeing Abby to make sure that she is okay, and that it is just a slip up." Avi said. Scott nodded.

Just then, the door opened and Kirstie came out, looking happy, which she never did when she left Abby's sessions, and she was sucking on a cherry lolly pop, which she never took. Mitch engulfed her in a quick hug, which told her that they knew, and she said hello to Scott as well.

"How was your meeting yesterday?" she asked them, and neither boy could god back their grins, making Kirstie squeal in excitement. "Yes, I knew you could do it! Oh my God, I can't believe your going to be actual artists!" she cried, resulting in a group hug of celebration.

"Well, we better go, Mitch needs to go in." Scott said, ending the celebrations. Avi nodded and then said "We need to go as well, Kirstie has an afternoon lecture." and after one last hug, Avi and Kirstie left, and Mitch went in to see Abby, leaving Scott alone with the uncomfortable, slippery, white chairs.

Without Mitch to fuel him, he felt exhausted again and collapsed into a chair, falling asleep within seconds. It felt like moments later that his eyes were forced open by Mitch shaking him. "I'm all done Scott. Abby gave me a lolly pop for you too." he said and held out a lemon lolly to Scott, to match his hair. Mitch had a cola one. They sucked on their lollies as they headed back to the car. They would normally stop and see Jen, but she was on a well deserved holiday, finally!

Scott drove them home and made Mitch do some schoolwork. He didn't attend school, as he was now nineteen, but he was years behind due to his time in the hospital and his issues, so he had a tutor come round two days a week and help him learn, whilst leaving him lots of sheets to do. He was working around a Year 5 level (IDK what grade that is but it's age 9-10), so Scott, Jake, and Alex could easily help him when he needed it, but they made him he as independent as possible.

Scott had a long bath with lavender oil to try and relax, and heard Jake and Alex come home and make a start on dinner, which meant that they would watch Mitch for him so he didn't need to rush. When he felt calm and peaceful, he got out and got dressed, before heading downstairs to watch a movie and eat dinner. They watched Despicable Me, before it reached Mitch's bedtime, at 20:00, and Scott decided to go with him, saying that it had been a long day.

Mitch fell asleep almost immediately, cuddled up to Scott's side, and releasing the occasional high pitched whine, which Scott had always found adorable. He heard Jake and Alex go to bed in their bedrooms either side of his and Mitch's room, at around 22:00, and he was still awake. He lay there, thinking about everything as he couldn't get his mind to shut up, before he was shaken by Mitch. He didn't realise what the time was, but the sun had risen and Jake was frying bacon downstairs, and Scott hadn't slept at all.


	37. Noticed

5:

 

Scott felt awful. He hadn't felt this bad since he was first diagnosed. It had been two weeks since he had gotten more than an hour of sleep in a night, and honesty felt like he was on the verge of collapsing. His entire body felt shaky, like after you throw up, his eyes felt like they had a weight attached to their lids, sealing them shut, his and his head felt dizzy, like it was full of cotton wool. And yes, the similes were necessary. Things weren't making much sense right then, as he was too exhausted to think straight.

Scott wasn't sure how this had gotten past Mitch, Jake, and Alex, but he was doing a decent job of hiding his exhaustion, and felt like he had to continue this otherwise he would be letting Mitch down. He had to stay strong so as to not weaken the small boy.

He got up, after a night of no sleep, and dressed himself like a zombie. He didn't even wait for Mitch to wake up and admire his sculpted body first, like every other morning. He had to make breakfast; he was starving. Scott fried some bacon and buttered some bread, making bacon sandwiches.

However, in his sleep state, he burnt his hand on the stove when he put it down on the heat, forgetting that it was on. He also couldn't see straight, meaning that two pieces of bacon ended up on the floor. He could make do with less, the others would be hungry. If Scott could handle less sleep, he could live without a little bit of meat.

He washed his hand under the cold water, cooling the burn off, before putting a plaster on it, before he plated up the food. Jake and Mitch came downstairs and took their plates. "Scott, you didn't wait for me this morning." Mitch said, pouting a little. Jake got up and got Mitch's medication.

"Sorry Mitch, I umm, had things to d-do." Scott mumbled, scoffing his ketchup and butter bread. No one had noticed the peculiarity of his breakfast. "But I come first. I'm your boyfriend, I love you." Mitch said, his lower lip wobbling as his eyes filled with tears. "I was busy." Scott said, trying to still the spinning of the room that occurred when he went to wash up his plate.

"B-but I-I love y-you." Mitch said, and began to sob. He threw his plate on the floor, smashing china everywhere, and ra up the stairs, running past Alex on the way. Alex ran down the stairs to see Jake frozen over his plate, and Scott pale and frowning. "What the fuck?" he asked, looking from his friend to his crush and back again.

"Scott ignored Mitch." Jake said, and Alex nodded, understanding. Scott sighed and stood up as straight as he could right then, with his shoulders hunched over extremely. "I'll go deal with him." he said, to which Jake put a hand on his chest. In his shaky state, it was enough to push Scott down onto the chair behind him. Neither boy was worried by this though, they just thought that he was being obedient.

"You clean up your mess down here. We'll calm Mitch down." Jake said, blaming Mitch's outburst on the tired noodle, and they headed upstairs. He walked to the cupboard and picked up the dustpan and brush, and bent over to pick up the fragments.

He was stupid enough though to not put on shoes, or even socks, so that when he stumbled forwards to clean up 'his' mess, he stood in a large shard and got it stuck in his foot. He screamed in pain and surprise, before falling backwards and landing on his bottom. He was dazed and confused, and now that he was laying down, randomly comfortable.

He closed his fuzzy eyes and fell asleep, lying on the cold, hard floor. When Jake came downstairs to talk to Scott, whilst Alex cleaned Mitch up, he froze at the sight of Scott unconscious on the floor, with blood at his feet. They had missed his scream over the volume of Mitch's sobs. This time now though, as Mitch was no longer upset, Alex and he easily heard Jake's scream.

They ran down the stairs and Mitch began to hyperventilate at the same sight. Alex ran over to Scott and shook his shoulder, waking him up. He groaned and shoved Alex, so that he narrowly avoided landing in the plate graveyard himself. Mitch squealed at the noise and ran over.

"Scott!" he yelled, and Scott groaned at the loud noise. It was then that they all realised how awful he looked. He looked like he had been punched in both eyes, and was as pale as Elsa. "Scott?" Jake asked nervously, "Have you been sleeping!" Scott shook his head, too exhausted to argue, and just closed his eyes again.

Alex and Jake hauled him up and lay him down on the sofa. Mitch got a bowl of water, tissues, and a bandage. Alex removed the china and cleaned Scott up, whilst Mitch tried not to vomit at the sight of the blood, and Jake rang up Abby.

Alex had finished and Mitch ran over to cuddle up to Scott, and stroked his hair lovingly. It didn't seem as vibrant as normal. "I love you baby. Please get better." Mitch said, resting his chin on Scott's chest. Scott was lightheaded from the blood loss and lack of sleep.

"Scott, Abby wants to readmit you today. Is that okay?" Jake asked him, to which Scott nodded weakly, feeling so shit that he wanted to go back. He wanted to feel better. "I will pack you a suitcase. Mitch will watch you." Jake said, walking up the stairs. Scott's protective instincts kicked in, even in this state.

"That's my job." he said loudly, and Mitch just laughed. "Let me lead for once Baby." Mitch said, acting like a grown up. Scott nodded, happy to be the little spoon for once. Mitch wrapped himself around Scott, wanting to hold his boyfriend for as long as he could before Scott went away. At least his two surrogate parents would be watching him. Or so he thought.

"Mitch, I have to go to France for a school thing and Jake can't watch you as he works full time. Avi has agreed to take you in until Scott gets out. I've packed you a bag. We need to go." Alex said, and Mitch suddenly got excited. "Sleepover with Kitty?" he asked, making Scott chuckle weakly. "Yeah baby." he said and snuggled into Mitch's chest.

Jake helped Scott hobble to the car and drove him back to Mountview. Scott stares ahead blanklunfornthe entire journey, trying to sleep, but even the gentle hum couldn't lull him to sleep. They quickly arrived, or at least quickly to Scott, and Jake helped him in. Jen was waiting for him at the entrance, and helped him into a waiting wheelchair, and wheeled him away.

Mitch cried on the way to Avi's parents house, seriously missing his noodle. Alex took his suitcase out of the boot and Jake walked him up to the door. Kirstie answered at it and immediately engulfed Mitch in a large hug. Mitch hugged back, excited to be with his sister.

"Come on Mitchie, Avi and Essie are making cookies." she said, and led him inside, mouthing 'Hello' to Jake and Alex. They drove home and in silence, stunned by the way that the morning had panned out.

Mitch ran to the kitchen and hugged Avi, happy to see him. "Hey Munchkin." he said, passing the bowl he was using to Kirstie, and placed Mitch on his hip. He was sensitive that day, upset without Scott, and had reverted into an infantile state to cope. Avi didn't mind, he was just happy that Mitch wasn't having a fit.

"Hello Mitch. I'm Esther. We haven't been properly introduced." Esther said, wheeling over to Mitch. He looked down at her, and Avi put him down so that he could shake her hand. "Hello." he said quietly. She reminded him of when he was in the hospital, and that reminded him of Scott, which made him sad. She sensed this and decided to use her mothering that she did on Avi and Kirstie, on Mitch.

"Come on sweetie. Let's make cookies. You can lick the icing bowl if you want." she said, making his eyes widen. Scott never let him lick anything whilst he was cooking, or just helping. She let him make the dough, and put in as many chocolate chips that he wanted, until it was more chip than dough, and baked them. By the time they were cooling, Mitch had forgotten about his sad morning, and was just having fun with his new friend.

Avi meanwhile was making sure that Kirstie ate one of her finished cookies, which she did, yelping a little when it burned the roof of her mouth, and laughed at her. She glared at him, looking less scary and more like an adorable kitten, making him blush.

Esther and Mitch decorated the cookies together, and Mitch got high on icing. He ended up chasing Kirstie and Esther around the downstairs, playing it, until he came down and crashed. Avi carried him to the sofa and put on Sponge bob. He and Kirstie cuddled up together under a blanket, and they fell asleep two episodes in. Avi and Esther took photos and tidied up the mess that Mitch had made, knowing that the next two weeks were going to be fun.


	38. Fixed

6

For the next two weeks, Mitch stayed with Avi and Kirstie, and his new best friend Esther, whilst Scott stayed at the hospital with the two's, but still saw Abby separately. He had an appointment with her in twenty minutes, and he knew that he had to get a move on. He had been sleeping a lot more, and had only required sleeping medication for a week. Together, he and Abby were trying to get to the bottom of his relapse, so that he could get better and be reunited with his baby.

Scott put down his notebook, which was full of songs that he had been writing, and headed down to the therapy room. He could walk there blindfolded, and not walk into any walls, he knew the place so well. It was like the blue prints for Mountview Hospital were tattooed into his skull. He went straight in and found Abby writing in her notebook and fiddling with her scarf. It was then that he realised, she always wore a scarf. It was like her neck was super sensitive or something.

"Hey Abby." he said, sitting down at the free seat, which was opposite her. She looked at him and smiled warmly, excited and happy to tell him the good news. "Hey Scott. How are you feeling?" she asked him. "I'm feeling good. Not all better, but way better than when I came in." he said truthfully, and Abby jotted that down.

"Well Scott. I have some good news. I've contacted Alex and Jake, and they said that they can keep an eye on you at home, and make sure that you take your medication and sleep, so I am confident that I can start seeing you as an outpatient, starting today." she said, making Scott's eyes shoot wide open.

"Really!" he yelled, excited to see Mitch again. Scott wasn't the type of person to yell, and in the echoey room, with the set up of opposite chairs that sat one large man, and one tiny woman, Abby couldn't help but flinch as images of Jeremy flashed through her mind. "Abby... Abby, are you alright? Do I need to get help?" Scott asked her. She shook her head and looked at Scott, making eye contact, and Scott saw the same look that he used to see in Avi's eyes, the look of a haunted man.

"N-no. I'm o-okay Scott." she said, shaking her head and closing his file. They were done already. It was more of a 'goodbye now go and pack your bags' session. "Are you sure?" he asked her, not believing Abby one bit. "Abby, why do you always wear a scarf?" he continued, thinking.

"I mean, I thought that staff can't wear loose things in case a patient takes them or hides something in it." Scott said, remembering the time that Jaimee, an old three, had put a mini firework in a nurses fanny pack, and she had turned it on, so that it went off and gave her minor burns.

Abby sighed, knowing that she should tell Scott otherwise he wouldn't drop the topic. And anyway, he was one of the few that she could trust. "Scott, what I am about to tell you is secret, only me, Jen, Kirstie, Kevin, and a couple of old nurses know. You must promise to not tell the others." she said. He nodded, now intrigued. He thought that he knew all of the secrets at Mountview Hospital.

In Kirstie and Kevin's duo year, they weren't exactly a duo. There was a boy, Jeremy, who was their friend. He was also dating Kirstie kind of. He was in here for bipolar disorder. One day in therapy, I let him write something down, and he called me over to look at it. Then he stabbed me in the neck with the pen, pulled it out, and laughed as I began to suffocate and bleed out. A nurse only came in because I threw a chair against a door. It turns out that he had misdiagnosed psychopathy, and he hadn't had any therapy so it was uncontrolled." She said, and pulled her scarf loose to show him the scar. It was a little like one a person would get from a tracheostomy.

Scott felt like his entire world had been flipped on its axis. Firstly, Kirstie dated a psychopath, secondly, they had all kept a major secret from the others, and finally, Abby went through that! It was awful and made Scott feel sick, and slightly unsafe, knowing that an attempted murder happened right there, and someone else at the hospital could be like Jeremy. He understood why they didn't tell the others.

"Oh God. I'm so sorry Abby. I won't tell, I promise." he said, and hugged her. It helped them both to relax, and whilst it wasn't really allowed, neither of them cared. He was getting out again anyways. Scott left and packed his still mostly packed suitcase, and headed to the main doors.

Jalex were waiting for him, and after a massive hug, picked Scott up. He sat in the front whilst Alex drove and Jake sat in the back. "Is Mitch coming home today?" Scott asked them. "Yes but it's a surprise to him. Kit and Avi know though. We need to get your prescription first." Alex said, and Scott nodded eagerly, excited to see his Mitchie Moo again.

\- -

"Kitty, come back!" Mitch yelled as he ran down the stairs to reach Kirstie. She was running ahead, laughing as she held his stuffed Patrick. They had been watching TV but Mitch decided to attack her with a tickle fight, resulting in this form of sinister retribution. "Come on Mitch. Fight for your love." she told him, being accidentally philosophical.

Esther laughed as she wheeled into the doorway of the kitchen, making Kirstie stop in her tracks. This allowed Mitch to catch up and jump on her, taking back his prized toy. Kirstie was on the floor laughing, as Mitch's body weight pushed her downwards, and whilst Mitch kissed the toy, Esther helped her up. "You sneaky..." Kirstie said, causing Esther to laugh at her childish innocence when it came to swearing.

"Is anyone going to eat the lunch that I made?" Avi asked them, causing the trio to turn around and look at him, gesturing to four filled plates on the table. Kirstie laughed at his obsession with food and made Mitch a plate. He took it from her and sat at the table, and dug into the bacon sandwich and crisps. So healthy. But Avi wasn't really a healthy person.

"Kit, you gonna get food?" Esther asked her, causing Kirstie to turn around. "Yep, I was just sorting Mitchell out." she replied, before filling another plate up with sandwiches and crisps. Esther couldn't take it. She couldn't take the blatant unhealthiness, and got a cucumber out of the fridge and chopped it up, before passing it out to the others.

"There." she said, happy with herself, and ate her own lunch. The three residents looked at their guest, and then up at the clock. Half an hour. "Hey Mitchie, shall we tidy your stuff up. It looks a little messy." Kirstie said, and they headed upstairs to 'tidy'. It was actually packing Mitch's suitcase up without him realising.

As expected, half an hour later, there was a knock at the door. "Mitch, can you get it. I'm busy." Avi yelled up the stairs, causing Mitch to sprint down and open the door cautiously. When he looked up and saw his giant noodle, he literally screamed at lunges towards Scott, who, now being more alert, caught Mitch in time and put him on his hip so that he could support him better. Mitch had a strong grip on Scott's shirt and clearly wouldn't let go.

Kirstie came down the stairs with his bag and passed it to Jake. "We loved having you Mitchie. Come over whenever you want." Avi said, and Mitch got down to hug his three wonderful friends. "Thank you. I love you guys." he said, taking Scott's hand. "We love you too Mitch." Esther said, and closed the door.

Scott and Mitch climbed into the back seat of the car. Jake was driving, and Alex was anxiously shaking his leg, trying to form the words that he needed to say. He kept looking over at Jake and feeling guilty, like he was betraying him.

They got home and headed to the front room, which Jake and Alex had tidied, and it was easier to keep clean without Scömíche. "U-um... g-guys. There's so-something I n-need to tell y-you." Alex said, causing Jake to walk over to him. "Take your time Ali. Whatever it is, we'll support you." Jake said, as Alex barely stuttered any more.

"Um, I'm moving out. My boyfriend and I are getting a place together about ten minutes away. Is that okay?" he asked them, scared that they would be annoyed at him. They weren't. Scott and Mitch attacked him with hugs and Jake copied, but was secretly upset. Alex could call someone a boyfriend.

Someone who wasn't him.


	39. Tears

7:

Alex loaded his last bag into Kyle's car, before he turned back to his best friends. "I'm going to miss you all. But I will visit lots. Thank you for letting me live with you guys. I wouldn't have stayed out of there without each of you. You're my family and I love you lots." he said, as he gave Scott a slightly manly hug, before turning to Mitch. The younger brunette practically flung himself at Alex, and he jumped into his arms and wrapped his arms and legs around Alex.

"I love you Ali. Don't leave me." he said, not wanting things to change. Alex kissed his forehead in a brotherly manner. "I have to Mitchie. You love Scott more than anything, don't you." he prompted, making Mitch nod without hesitation. "Well, that's how much I love Kyle. I need to be with him." Alex said, in a way that Mitch would understand. And he did.

He climbed down, and that's when everyone else noticed that he had tears streaming down his cheeks. "Okay. Love is important. I'm happy for you Alex." he said, making Alex happy that he understood, but hurt that he called him 'Alex' and not 'Ali'. Things were going to be different now.

Alex turned to Jake, who was standing quietly behind Scott. "Bye Ali. Take care of yourself and if you ever need anything, and I mean anything, I will help you." Jake said, feeling like he was being abandoned. Neither boy realised that Jake was now feeling how Alex had felt when Jake left Mountview without him.

"Thanks Jake. I will. Bye guys." Alex said, and climbed into the car. Kyle got into the drivers side and pulled out of the driveway. Mitch waved sadly until the car turned the corner at the end of the street and could no longer be seen. Scott sighed and headed inside, Mitch following him. Jake was frozen to the spot, and Scott noticed.

"Go and get your shoes on Mitch. We have to get to the studio." he said, sending Mitch indoors and out of the way. This was a conversation for Scott and Jake only. "Jake. Are you okay?" Scott asked him, knowing the answer.

"N-no. He's g-gone Scott. I love him and h-he left me." Jake said, his voice wobbling. Scott had never seen Jake cry, not when he found out about Devon, not when Kirstie tried to kill herself, not when he left Mountview, but he was crying now. A lone tear rolled down his cheek and bungee jumped off of his chin, splattering it's guts all over the cobblestone. And it wasn't alone.

"Come here." Scott said, and Jake walked over to him. Scott was a lot taller than he was, the same could be said for many people, and wrapped Jake up in his arms, holding him as the stoic man began to sob. Scott had flashbacks to when Alex locked himself in his room. What are him open up, other than almost losing one of their own forever, was company. Distracting him from his loss worked, and he had to try it with Jake.

"Let's go inside for a bit. We all have to get to work soon." Scott said and Jake broke away. He wiped his tears away furiously, angry at himself for crying, and headed inside. He got himself a glass of ice cold water and sat down in the kitchen. "You know, crying is healthy. Alex cried when you left him at the hospital." Scott said.

Jake looked up suddenly. "He did?" he asked, baffled. "Well yeah, you were his best friend and his roommate and you left. He was happy for you, but lonely too, kind of like you now." Scott said, skipping the love part. Jake had to figure that out for himself.

"You're right. Karma's a bitch. Alex got over it, so so can I." Jake said, and he plastered an obviously fake smile onto his face, and left to get changed for work. Scott was sat alone in the kitchen. "Well, that's not what I meant but okay then." he said, and went to find Mitch. They couldn't be late for their last recording session of their album.

\- -

It had been two weeks since Alex moved out, and whilst he still texted the boys a lot, it wasn't the same. He was happy and madly in love with Kyle, who seemed to accept him for his past, and that made Jake happy too. Of course it would. But, he just wished that it wasn't Kyle making Alex feel that way, but himself. He wanted to hold the boy and love him and call him his. But he couldn't, Kyle could.

He wished that he had shared a room with Alex when he had the chance, and he wished that he hadn't been such a coward that he couldn't tell Alex how he felt whilst he could. And he couldn't tell Alex now, it would be rude, and there was no way that he could feel the same way. Not with Kyle in the picture.

He didn't say goodbye to Alex when he left Mountview, because, he felt that if he did, then he would break down and look weak. He cared more about his ego than his heart. That must have made Alex hate him, which is why he had never asked him out since.

He was lonely, believing that Alex hated him, and missing his roommate and his sappy romance novels. Jake knew that Scott and Mitch were living the perfect life, Avi and Kirstie were also happy and busy, which left Kevin. Kevin wasn't dating anyone, and he was back from Africa. He could talk to him.

Without giving him a heads up, which wasn't very kind of Jake because he knew and understood that Kevin liked a schedule, and why he liked one and he was an unexpected intrusion, he drove to Kevin's place. He pulled up and rang the doorbell. A tall girl, maybe in her early teens, answered the door. He recognised her but couldn't place her face.

"Kevin! Someone's here." she said and Kevin ran to the door. "Thanks Kyla. Hey Jake. Are you okay?" he asked him. That's when Jake remembered that she was his little sister, and had just moved in with Kevin. Again, he was intruding. Jake felt anxious and looked down, straightening his jacket.

"Jake. You're jacket is fine. Come in and tell me what's wrong." Kevin said, leading Jake inside. He didn't touch him in case Jake couldn't handle that right then. He didn't know what was going on with this brother.

Jake sat down and turned to Kevin, no longer caring that he was once again crying. Kevin quickly passed him a tissue, which he was then grateful that Jake didn't fold neatly, and sat down opposite him. Kyla came in with two cups of tea, which Kevin took and thanked her for.

"So Jake, what's going on with you? I hate seeing one of my brothers so upset?" he said, smiling softly. "It's stupid... I just feel so alone. Alex moved in with his boyfriend two weeks ago. I love him and he probably hates me." Jake said, looking down at his hands again.

"Why would be hate you?" Kevin asked him, confused. "Because I left him the same way. I didn't say goodbye, which must have made him mad, and I left abruptly." Jake said. He still hadn't figured out that Alex loved him.

"He doesn't hate you Jake. Alex physically could not hate you. Your his best friend." Kevin said, making Jake smile a little. "Alex is just entering a new chapter in his life, and we have to wait to see if it ends well or not. Just be there for him, be happy for him, and he will be grateful." Kevin continued, ever the wise man. Jake laughed.

"What's so funny, eh?" Kevin asked Jake. "How the fuck are you so wise?" Jake asked him, wiping his tears with the tissue again, his cheeks red, his eyes bloodshot, but his mouth twisted up in a smile. Kevin laughed a little, back at him. "I raised all of you." he replied.

"Do you want to stay here for a bit? I've got the day off, we can hang out." Kevin said, and Jake nodded, grateful for the company. "That would be nice, thanks Kev. Scott and Mitch have been at the studio every day for the last two weeks, and Scott knows that I'm sad, he's just too busy to be there. I'm happy for them tooC I just feel so lonely." Jake said.

This time Kevin did touch him. He hugged Jake and Jake hugged back, happy to always have Kevin.

Except that he wouldn't.


	40. Party

8:

"Kit, we need to go." Avi yelled up the stairs, standing by the front door white his coat already on, bag in hand. Kirstie slowly headed down the stairs, working with her very high heels. "You look beautiful baby." Avi said and kissed her cheek, being careful of her make up. Kirstie giggled and looked at Avi. She rested both palms on his shoulders and stared lovingly into his eyes. "You look so handsome Dragon." she said. Avi blushed, and blushed even deeper when Esther cleared her throat.

The lovely couple turned around so that their 'guardian' could take some cute photos. They never had a prom together, so these photos were kind of like that. "Es, we're just going to a birthday party. It's not like we're going to the Grammys or something." Kirstie sassed, making Esther put her camera down. "Okay. Fine. But you two look so cute. Be safe and be careful." she said. Avi rolled his eyes at his sister.

"We will. Love you Essie." Kirstie said as she headed out of the front door. "Love you too Kitty." Esther said as Avi left and closed the door behind him. He unlocked he car and got into the drivers side as Kirstie climbed into the passengers side and took the bag from him; it contained the birthday present.

Avi put the radio on and he and Kirstie warmed up their dance moves and voices as they drove to the party. It wasn't too far away, an hour maybe, and as they pulled up, Kirstie smiled at the familiar sight. Good memories came back to her, and she ignored the bad ones. "You know Avi, I don't think I've ever come this well dressed to a hospital before." she said, twirling in her dress as we went through the welcome doors of Mountview Hospital.

Avi laughed at her quirky mind and cute spin, and took her hand as they made their way to the therapy room/party hall. "I hope Jen likes the present. I put lots of thought into it." Kirstie said as she looked at the bag that she was holding with the hand that Avi hadn't taken. "She'll love it. She loves you so she can't hate it." Avi said, and it was Kirstie's turn to roll her eyes, at him. "Weirdo." she mumbled as they reached he familiar door, which for once, had been left open, specially for the party.

The couple walked into the room, and were immediately flanked by Mitch. "Hey Kirstie, Avi." He said, smiling at his best friends and giving them a massive hug. He was wearing a gorgeous, crimson suit, and a cheeky bow tie. Scott came over and hugged them, and he was wearing blue suit, and a tie, complementary to Mitch. The duo, glamorous as always.

"Jen. Happy birthday!" Kirstie cheered and gave her favourite nurse a giant hug. Jen wrapped her arms tightly around the small girl and hugged her back. "God, I've missed you Kitty." she said, making Kirstie sign. "I've missed you too." "Hey Avi." Jen said and also hugged Avi. Kirstie passed her the present bag and she took it gracefully. "Thank you so much. There's food over there, and drinks, and have fun." she said, and left to talk to some other guests.

"She looks good." Kirstie said, taking Avi's hand again and walked over to Kevin and Kyla. "Yeah, she does. She looks more refreshed." Avi said. "Hey guys." Kevin said, hugging his best friends. "Hey Kevy. Hi Kyla." Kirstie said, making Kyla smile back. "Hello." she said, and looked down at the floor. She was wearing a gorgeous, green dress and gold heels.

"Hey Kev. How are you?" Avi asked him, as they walked over to the buffet. "I'm good. Happy that I've got my girl living with me. I'm taking a break from tours and have gotten a job at Angel's." he said, referring to another local hospital. "I'm so happy for you Kev. How are you settling in Kyla?" Avi asked her, as Kevin passed her a plate.

"It's good. I like having Kev around. We're signing me up to school for next week." she said, and Avi nodded, glad that she had her priorities straight. Family and education, two very important things. "That's good. I know that Kev was so excited to have you move in." Avi said, and passed Kirstie a full plate and cup. "Thanks." she said and nibbles on her lip. Avi ignored it and continued to talk to Kevin whilst they all ate.

The party was really fun. The only awkwardness was for Jake when Alex arrived with his arm interlinked with Kyle's. "Hey Jakey." he said and ran over to hug Jake. Jake smiled and hugged Alex back, not letting go until Alex broke away. "Hi Jake." Kyle said and shook his hand. "Hey." Jake replied. "So, how are things?" he asked Alex, hoping to hear that it was awful and he wanted to come home, but, of course, that didn't happen.

"Great. Everything is amazing and Kyle is perfection." Alex said, kissing Kyle after that, who then blushed, taken by surprise. Perfection was a very strong word; Alex had never called Jake "perfection". They chatted a little until Scott came over and interrupted, making Jake relax a little bit. He had support.

Avi looked around, trying to find Kirstie, who he realised that he had lost about half an hour ago, and then smiled when he saw her familiar figure walk over to him, and his eyes lit up in excitement and love. "Hey babe. Where'd you go?" he asked her, kissing her knuckle. "I was talking to people." she said, and he nodded, steering her towards Trevor.

By the end of the night, Kirstie was exhausted and holding on to Avi to just stay awake. She would pay for it the next day, she always did when she was exhausted, but it was for Jen so it was worth it. After saying goodbye to everyone, they headed back to their car, Avi wrapping his arms around Kirstie to minimise her shivering. He had a warm blazer on, and she had a sleeveless dress.

She climbed into the car and they drove home in silence, and Kirstie fell asleep. Avi smiled sweetly when he saw the familiar, slow rise and fall of her chest, and filled with love. He carried her out of the car and past Esther, who was on the sofa watching a horror movie and gorging on popcorn, and undressed her, putting her in her pyjamas and tucked her into bed. He then left to find Esther and a drink.

Kirstie woke up, hearing the door close, and rolled over so that her face was buried in her pillow, before she sobbed her heart out. She had had a bad dream, but it was reality.

\- -

"...and then Darien dropped the ball and broke his toe." Avi concluded, making Kevin and Jake laugh at the story of how Darien broke his toe whilst bowling with the family. Kevin and Jake began to laugh hysterically, and Kirstie wanted to, but she couldn't. She really wasn't feeling well; the buffet food wasn't agreeing with her.

"Hey Kit, you get it right? You were there." Avi said, and she nodded, biting her lip again. "Yeah, it was funny." she said, half heartedly, but no one noticed. She sighed as her stomach flipped and she caught her reflection in the plastic display case on the wall. During therapy sessions with the fours, she often looked into it and checked out her appearance, seeing how skinny she was, but thought that it was never enough.

She looked into it then, and sighed at how big she looked. Her stomach reached the screw, which it had never reached before. And her legs were definitely bigger. She was getting fat. Kirstie felt fat and bloated and disgusting, as she stared into this plastic and picked apart her appearance. She was hideous; why did everyone like her like this?

She looked over at Avi, who was perfectly happy talking to the others, and she sighed again. She hated to make him upset or angry, but she saw no other option. If he knew, he would hate her forever, so she would have to keep it a secret. She looked over at him, one more time. Still nothing. Kirstie snuck out of the room, and headed to the bathrooms.

Thankfully, no one was in there, and she quickly bent over and shoved her fingers down her throat, not having to do much to make all of the food that she had consumed that day spill violently into the water below. It was more than it used to be whilst she was a patient as she had been eating more. Kirstie wiped her mouth and flushed the toilet, before quickly washing her hands and swishing her mouth with water. She felt so much better, not sick and as fat, but definitely guilty.

She looked in the mirror, and saw that she was sweetly and pale, and was shaking. "Pull it together. You're fine." she said and slapped herself in the cheek very hard, punishing herself for getting so fat and flushing her face with colour. She looked better now. Kirstie quickly headed back to the party, and found the joyous music quite ironic, as she was definitely not joyous, before Avi spotted her.

"Hey babe. Where'd you go?" he asked her. Now she had to lie, convincingly. It was hard for her to lie to Avi and have him not notice, but she had to try. "I was talking to people." she said, internally cringing at all of the skin contact, and Avi believed her. That was easy, she had to do it more often.


	41. Lies

9:

"What is it! Jake, why are you being so weird?" Alex yelled at Jake, jumping up from the sofa to face his best friend. "Ever since I moved out, you've been acting like I kicked your puppy or something!" he continued. Mitch, who was sat on the other sofa with Scott, crawled onto Scott's lap and whimpered in his ear "He kicked me." Scott tried to not laugh at his boyfriend whilst figuring out what to do about the argument. It had been building up since the party a month ago, the tension that is.

At the party, Jake barely spoke to Alex, instead spending all of his time with Kevin and Avi. Then, whenever Alex calls to talk to Mitch, Jake will refuse to speak to him, even when Alex specifically asks for Jake. Alex misses his roommate but is furious about why he won't talk to him. When Alex comes over, Jake won't sit next to him unless Mitch forces the issue by crawling into Scott's lap, like he did half an hour ago. His responses to Alex's questions are basically grunts and shrugs, and Alex can't take it anymore. Jake was never the one with a speech issue, he was, so why was Jake ignoring him? He just snapped.

"M'not bein' weird." Jake mumbled, looking at the television and not at Alex. The truth was, he was trying to block the boy out of his life to get over him faster. He had given up hope that he could ever be with the love of his life, as he didn't want him, so he decided to ignore him, to make it hurt less. The thing that he didn't realise was that he was just making it worse.

"Yes you fucking well are!" Alex yelled, and all three boys recoiled at the use of a profanity. Alex never swore. "I'm sorry but... ugh. You're ridiculous. Go fuck yourself!" Alex yelled and stormed out of the house, grabbing his bag and shoes and slamming the door on his way out. He got into his car and drove off. Jake thought that he had left, and felt empty inside, knowing that Alex hated him.

But you see, Alex didn't hate Jake. He was beyond frustrated with him, and felt guilty for yelling, but he couldn't look at his adorable face and not feel angry for what he had lost. He believed that he had lost Jake a long time ago as a potential boyfriend, which was now confirmed when he lost Jake as a best friend, and a friend in general. He drove to the end of the street and rounded the corner, before parking at the side of the road.

Alex pulled out his phone and pulled up Scott's contact information. He began o quickly type a message through his heavy tears. 'I'm sorry about that Scott. I really hope that you and Mitch are alright, and your door. I need to cool off but I'll talk to the two of you soon. I love you guys.' He typed, before slamming his palm against the steering wheel in frustration, and drove off, to the loving and reassuring arms of Kyle.

Jake meanwhile, sat on the sofa, having not moved a muscle since Alex exploded. He didn't think that he could move. He knew that he should feel a roller coaster of emotions, like guilt and sorrow and anger, but he didn't. He didn't feel anything, and that was more concerning. He was numb. He couldn't even think straight, as his mind was blank and empty.

Scott's phone went off and he left the room, though Jake didn't care. He was happy; he had Mitch. Speaking of the sassy queen, Mitch stood up and walked halfway over to Jake, before seeing the blank expression on his face, and turned to leave, not sure what do do for his family. They were all falling apart, more than Mitch knew at the time, eighteen months after leaving Mountview Hospital.

\- -

Kirstie saved her document on her laptop, just before the final bell went for the end of the day. Avi was picking her up from her class and she didn't want to be late. Esther was coming home today from uni, and she was nervous to see the older girl again. She was very protective. Kirstie closed her laptop and put it away, along with her books and notepads. The ones from the hospital had come in really handy for her thesis, and her professors were very impressed.

She packed up the last of her things and said goodbye to a couple of her friends, who were all a lot older than her, before she leant against the doorframe to wait for Avi. He was late, as usual, but today that was good. Kirstie leant her head back, taking a few deep breaths.

She was very dizzy, and fatigued. It felt like moving her limbs took all of her energy, and she was worried that she would fall over. Her feet felt exceptionally heavy and like there was a boulder above her, pushing her down down down into the ground. Kirstie pushed her back flat agains the doorframe and looked at her stomach, trying to spot if any of it poked through her shirt. It didn't, which was good.

Upon hearing the familiar, pounding footsteps of Avi, she straightened up and plastered a fake smile on her face. "Sorry I'm late." Avi panted, and Kirstie gave him her bag before she took off walking, puffing slightly. Not enough for Avi to notice. Kirstie sighed at the sight of the stairs before her. She didn't want to go down them, she was so tired, but they were a good place to burn calories. If she was going to bother with stairs, then she could at least go up them and make them worth her time.

The pair quickly made their way down the stairs in silence. Kirstie was very dizzy and going downwards on narrow steps didn't help. Avi quickly overtook her, and was surprised that she wasn't next to him at the bottom. He turned around and waited for Kirstie to reach the bottom, before he took her hand. It was cold, very cold. Concerned, he held her hand and they walked to the car, this time, he didn't notice the slight stumble in her step, and the deep breaths that she was taking.

Once they were in the car, Avi sat there, in silence, until Kirstie looked over at him. Her face was very pale, and he realised, slightly sweaty. Why was she sweating when she was cold to the touch? Maybe she was coming down with something.

Relapse hadn't come into Avi's mind, or even Kirstie's mind. She hadn't realised that she had relapsed, as she thought that she was just losing a little weight as she was fat, and she didn't know how to lose weight other than starving herself. Avi didn't want to admit that she could relapse, and she had been so strong and open with him, that he thought he would be the first to know, not the last.

"Are you feeling alright sweetie? You're really pale and stumbling." he said. This was Kirstie's opportunity to cover this up and skip dinner. "No, my head really hurts. I'm dizzy." she said, not lying, just not admitting that she was the cause of these symptoms. "Poor baby. I'll get us home and you can rest." he said before he pulled away from the building.

Kirstie leant into her seat, letting it hold her upright, as she tried to catch her breathe, which she had started to lose just by talking. She just had to get past this, and everything would be fine. Or at least, that's what she thought.

Avi looked over repeatedly, concerned for his girlfriend who he thought had some kind of bug, and felt sorry for her. He pulled into the drive though and looked at her. "Kit, do you want some food?" He asked her, and she shook her head, terrified by the prospect of McDonald's. She played it off though as nausea. "Tummy hurts." she mumbled, and he nodded, being very naive. "Okay, but I'm going to order you a soda, it will help settle your stomach." he said. "Regular?" she asked quietly, and he nodded.

After ordering two Big Mac's, two strawberry milkshakes, and a Diet Coke, the food was passed to them and Avi passed it all to Kirstie. Her stomach rumbles loudly as she held the food in her hands, inhaling its greasy, salty scent, and she felt simultaneously hungry and sick. Avi was talking to the person passing them the food though, and didn't notice.

Kirstie took a sip of her drink, hoping that it would settle her now angry stomach, and Avi smiled at her fondly. He saw her consuming something, so he wasn't too concerned anymore, and Kirstie knew that. They got home and Avi took the bags and the food, insisting that he was fine to carry it, and Kirstie couldn't help but smile at her Prince Charming fondly, grateful for his kindness. Esther opened the door, and was surprised to see Avi carrying everything, and Kirstie lagging behind.

"Is everything okay?" she asked as she closed the door behind Kirstie, who was sipping on her drink. "Kirstie doesn't feel well." Avi said as he unloaded himself and opened up the food. Kirstie took her shoes off and headed into the kitchen. The scent of the food turned her stomach, and she slapped her hand over her mouth before running to the bathroom. She locked the door so the others couldn't come in. But of course, after throwing up a few mouthfuls of Diet Coke, which tasted awful coming back up as the sharpness burnt her throat, she was empty and just exhausted. She swished with mouthwash and splashed ice cold water on her face before she slipped to the floor.

She was so dizzy and tired, she just wanted to sleep there, but she couldn't. She had to act fine. Kirstie pulled herself up and headed into the kitchen, where Avi and Esther were waiting anxiously. She sat down on the empty seat, and rested her head on her crossed forearms. "You okay Kit?" Avi asked her, and she nodded into the table. "Do you want your drink?" Esther asked, and the thought of the fiery Coke made her feel sick all over again. "No thanks." she said, and sat up.

She was pale and sweaty, and just looked like she had the flu or something. They hadn't noticed the weight loss yet, the baggy clothes could hide the month's worth of hard work from Kirstie. "Why don't you go and lay down. That will help." he said, and she nodded before dragging herself into the front room and lay down on the sofa. She was so tired and fell asleep quickly.

Avi and Esther had their usual catch up chat, and were discussing Darien, when their parents came home. "Hey Es, hey Avi. I'm missing one." Michael joked, stealing a few of Avi's chips. He slapped his hand away playfully, he only shares his food with Kirstie. "Kit's in the front room. She's not very well." Esther said, and Shelley sat down in her empty seat.

"Oh. What's wrong?" she asked, being motherly. "Headache and dizzy. She threw up when we got home." Avi said, and she nodded. Shelley got a bottle of water and a blanket, and put the blanket on Kirstie and the bottle of water by her side. Avi took Olaf for a walk after eating, and then cuddled up to Kirstie's side. He didn't care if he caught whatever bug she has, but anorexia isn't contagious.


	42. Kyla

10:

Avi had spent the morning trying to get Kirstie to eat some breakfast. She decided to drag out the feeling sick lie for a little longer, and acted how she truly felt, in some respects. She had spent all morning in bed, until Avi carried her downstairs.

Shelley was very concerned and wanted to take her to the doctors, but Avi and Michael convinced her that it was just a stomach bug and she would be fine soon. Kirstie felt horrible for lying to these amazing people, and making them worry about her when she believed that they shouldn't, but she couldn't eat. Not until she lost some more weight. She was too fat.

Avi eventually caved but made Kirstie sip on water throughout the day. Water was alright, just about. It made her feel bloated and heavy, but it also helped curb the hunger pangs a little, and muffled the sound of her angry stomach, so she drank it. It was midday when there was a knock on the door of the Kaplan residence, and Kirstie was laying on the sofa, her head in Avi's lap, and he was stroking her hair out of her face and playing with it in an attempt to make Kirstie feel better. It was succeeding.

Esther was out with Darien and Avi's parents were at work, so Avi got up and opened the door, gently shushing Kirstie when she whimpered at him moving. Avi answered the door, and his eyes widened at the sight of Kevin, who was completely unexpected, and Avi quickly ushered him in and closed the door. "Hey Kev. What brings you here?" Avi asked him, as Kevin took off his shoes and hung his coat up.

"I need to talk to you Av, is that okay?" Kevin asked him, aware that he was about to ask Avi for a ginormous favour, one that he doubted that he would ever get to reciprocate. "Sure. Come in. Do you want a drink?" Avi asked Kevin, who shook his head. They both went straight into He front room, to where Kirstie was laying on the sofa, under a large blanket, and she began to panic. Kevin hadn't seen her in a while, not everyday like Avi, would he notice her weight difference?

Luckily for her - if you can even call it luck - Kevin didn't notice. He was too distracted by his request, and by Kirstie laying on the sofa when she was usually a very active person. "Hey Kit. What's going on?" Kevin asked her. She went to reply when Avi answered for her.

"She's a bit poorly Kev. We're having a relaxing day." Avi said, making Kirstie nod quickly, causing the black dots to invade her vision so that all she could see was a small section of carpet out of the bottom left of her vision, and half of Avi's face in the centre.

"Oh gosh. I'm so sorry. I can come back." Kevin said, completely horrified that he ruined their day, when Avi put his hand on Kevin's arm to stop him. "It's fine Kev. Take a seat." Avi said, and he sat down with Kirstie whilst Kevin sat down on the armchair. "What did you need?"

"Well... um, this is a big favour, a massive favour, and I'm asking you Avi because I trust you, and you two are more responsible than the others." Kevin began, making Kirstie groan inwardly, as she knew that she wasn't being responsible. "But umm... I've been asked to go back to Africa, to Chad. They need more doctors for the Cholera outbreak and they need me. The thing is Kyla. I don't know what to do about her as she just moved in with me. I was wondering if, as you guys did such a great job with Mitch, if you would house her for a couple of months. Just until I get back. I can pay you and-" Kevin monologued but Avi cut him off with a firm "Of course. And you don't need to pay us."

Kevin beamed side and jumped up, hugging Avi and Kirstie. "Thank you guys so much. I leave in a week, is that okay?" "Yes Kev." Avi reassured his best friend, and Kevin decided that he had to repay them somehow. "Do you want me to take a look at Kirst?" he offered, which Avi really did want. Kirstie didn't though, she didn't want him to poke her and remove her baggy clothes.

"I'm okay Kev, really." she tried, but Avi wasn't having it. He always worried about her when she got sick, even if it was just a little sniffle, so he interjected with "Yes please." Kevin proceeded to take Kirstie pulse and blood pressure, which were both a little low, and he told her to eat some food, or at least drink some sugary juice. Kirstie could handle the juice; she could purge it. Kevin left to talk to Kyla and sort out his luggage, and Avi got the juice, not letting Kirstie move off of the sofa in case she passed out, which unknowingly to him, she would, and she knew it.

"Here Kit. Please drink it all." Avi requested, and Kirstie did, gulping it down when he wasn't looking, before asking to take a shower. "I feel really sweaty and want to feel better. A shower will help Av." she pleaded, and after seeing that she was now stable in her feet, he agreed. Avi went to do some work whilst Kirstie headed to the bathroom.

She ran the shower, and once she was sure that Avi hadn't followed her, she lifted up the toilet lid and crouched down over it, so that she was stable. She stuck her right index finger down her throat as her left hand held onto the porcelain bowl, and she removed it when she couldn't breathe. This repeated for a few times until all of the apple juice forcefully reappeared, looking exactly the same as it did going down. That was good, she hadn't digested any of it.

As she had told Avi, her clothes were now sweaty, but from throwing up, so she took a quick shower, having to sit down the entire time as she was very dizzy again, before she dried herself, got dressed into some fresh clothes, and found Avi cooking in the kitchen.

"Hey baby, how do you feel now?" he asked her, searching her eyes for a fever. He found none. "Great." she lied, forcefully smiling wide, and Avi nodded happily. He could finally relax; she was all better. "That's good Kit. I'm glad."


	43. Cookies

11:

Kevin carried in the last of Kyla's bags and deposited it in the hallway. He had originally tried to take them upstairs and to the guest bedroom, but Avi had refused. They could do it themselves and decorate whilst they unpack, and Kevin needed to save his strength for the long months ahead. Kyla stood nervously in the hallway and frowned at Kevin. She had just gotten his back after so long, and now he had to go again. She liked Kirstie and Avi, they were decent enough people, but they weren't her oldest brother, and that's what she wanted - who she wanted.

Kevin walked over to her, and she smiled gently at him. She loved him so much, and he smiled back warmly. "I love you Kev. I'm going to miss you so so much. Do you have to go?" she asked him, and Kevin nodded a little. "I have to sweetie. I love you more than anything in the world, but this is my job. I have more lives to save, but Avi and Kirstie will take care of you. I trust them with my life, and they will protect you. And if they don't I will hunt them down. I'll be home before you know it." he said, and Kirstie smiled weakly at his half true - half false threat.

Then, Kevin hugged Kyla as tight as he could, wanting to memorise everything about her that he could, before he said 'thank you' to Avi one last time, and left, as if he didn't leave right then, then he knew that he wouldn't be able to at all. Kyla looked up at Avi and Kirstie, and they stared back at her. Avi didn't know what to do with her. He was the youngest of his siblings, and he had never had to look after someone who was eleven. Kirstie did though. The foster homes and children's homes were full of upset preteens like Kyla.

"Hey Sweetie. Shall we leave your stuff for now and go and grab a snack?" she asked, and Kyla smiled, grateful as she hadn't eaten any breakfast; she had been to nervous to eat, but Kirstie was making her to calm down. Kirstie wasn't calm though. She knew that if Kyla was anything like her eldest brother, then food would make her feel better, but how would Kirstie be able to avoid eating it?

Kirstie decided to instead of grab a quick snack, make chocolate chip cookies with Kyla. She really enjoyed it and was especially happy when Kirstie let her lick the bowl that had contained chocolate, clean. They put the cookies in the oven and Kirstie set the timer. "Do you want to watch some TV, play outside, or sort out your room?" Kirstie asked as Kyla was washing her hands. She passed the younger girl the tea towel, which she used to dry her hands, and Kyla passed it back to her. "Can we do my room please?" she asked, and Kirstie nodded, smiling gently.

The trio headed upstairs and Kirstie showed Kyla to her room whilst Avi banged on Esther's door. She had been out late and slept all morning. "Es, Kyla's here and we're decorating her room. Do you want to help?" Avi asked. He paused and waited for a reply. "Yeah, give me a few minutes to get up." Esther called back, and Avi headed to the others.

Kirstie was showing Kyla he draws and wardrobe and stopped when Avi came in. "I can get her bags." Kirstie said, wanting to look helpful. In reality, lifting heavy things (like suitcases) was a good way to burn fast calories. Avi however wanted to be the man, so he shook his head. "I'll get them Kirst. Es may need help, she was out late and may have a hangover, in which case, she'll be helpless in dressing herself." Avi said, and Kirstie nodded.

Like all people, Esther's coordinated is off when she's hung over, but that can make putting on clothes when you're paralysed from the waist down a very difficult task. Kirstie headed to her room whilst Avi and Kyla got the bags, and she went straight in. Esther was sat on top of her bed, her hair messy, glasses wonky, putting on a shirt.

"You okay?" Kirstie asked as she sat down next to Esther. She poked her head through the neck hole and smiled at Kirstie. She straightened her glasses and brushed her hair. "Yeah, I'm all good. Had a date with Dar last night and it went on a bit longer than expected." Esther said, and immediately blushed. Kirstie's eyes widened and she began to giggle. That made Esther laugh and suddenly the pair of them were uncontrollably laughing.

Esther wiped a tear from her eye and exhaled loudly. "We're so mature." she joked, and picked up her jeans. "I'll be out in a minute." she said, and Kirstie nodded and left, closing the door behind her. Avi and Kyla were already unpacking the bags. "Esther will be out in a minute. I'm going to check on the cookies." she said, and ran down the stairs quietly, in her fluffy socks. Then she ran up them, and then she ran down them again before heading into the kitchen.

The cookies had one minute on them, so she got out a plate and waited. Just before the timer went off, she turned it off and took the cookies out of the oven. They were golden and crispy, so she turns the oven of and put them on the plate. She grabbed three cans and a glass of water, and headed up the stairs. If she had to eat a cookie, the water would help later, when she was alone.

"Surprise." she said, and deposited the cookies on the desk. The other three tucked in and took their cans. "Thanks Kyla and Kirstie. These are really good." Avi said, and Esther nodded, her mouth full with cookies. She swallowed and smiled "Yeah. They're awesome." and Kyla smiled, she really liked it here and these people are really nice.

"Kirst?" Avi asked, waving a cookie in front of her nose. She faked a smile and took it, taking a small bite out of it, and gulped, forcing it down, before nibbling on the rest of it. It tasted so good but the thought of the empty calories made her feel sick. Kirstie ignored the cookie trying to reappear again.

They spent the rest of the day getting the room ready, Kirstie leaving to get her phone, purged the cookie, thankful that she had sipped on the water, and they crashed on the sofa, ready for a Disney marathon, starting with Tinkerbelle. It may be a kids movie, but it was awesome, and the girls were excited to watch it. Avi was excited to make them happy and cooked dinner whilst it was playing. Spaghetti Bolognese. Carb and fat heavy.

"Hey Es." Kirstie whispered, getting Esther's attention only. Kyla was still smiling at the screen and the duo of Clank and Bobble, who reminded Kirstie of Mitch and Scott (if she were Tinkerbelle). Time to lie. "I'm really tired from unpacking, and still full from the cookies and lunch, so I'm going to head to bed before I collapse here." she said, and Esther smiled at the joke, and missed the lie.

"Okay Kirst. I'm sure Avi will follow you at some point. Goodnight." Esther said, and gave Kirstie a quick hug before she was gone to work out. Avi, Kyla, and Esther sat down for the meal, and tucked in, scoffing on the spaghetti, and having fun. Meanwhile, Kirstie was sweating on stomach crunches, fighting the urge to scream due to the effort that she was putting into it, and fighting the black fog in her vision.

She knew that she had overdone it (as per usual) when she felt detached and light headed, and couldn't see. She had seconds until her body shut down. Quickly, Kirstie staggered over to her bed and crawled into it, wiping her sweat away with her hand before she slipped into darkness.

Avi went to check on her a few minutes later and smiled at her unconscious body. She appeared so peaceful that Avi thought that it was a regular sleep. He kissed her forehead and climbed into the bed, not noticing the sweat or Kirstie's dangerously slow pulse.


	44. Drug Lord

12:

"Thank you for taking me shopping Kirstie." Kyla said as they got off of the bus and Kirstie got her keys out to unlock the front door. "No problem. I hope you had fun." she said quickly, trying to muffle the sounds of her laboured breathing. They had been walking all day and had barely sat down, and doing so on no food and very little sleep was exhausting, and Kirstie was out of breath from trying.

Kirstie opened the door and Kyla ran inside and dropped her bags by the stairs, heading into the kitchen. Avi had promised her that he would make her raspberry and white chocolate cookies whilst she was out with Kirstie, and Kyla was eager to devour them. Kirstie sighed fondly at the younger girl, and picked up her heavy shopping bags, containing clothes and items that Kirstie had paid for as a treat, and carried them upstairs.

Whilst Kyla ate half of the plate of cookies and played on her phone, Kirstie sorted the clothes out into piles of washing depending on their colour and material, and she put away the make up and CD's. Her and Avi had become very fond of Kyla over the past month and a half, and were kind of like second parents to the girl.

They had had to become more responsible, and Esther and Avi's parents had noticed. They were proud of the couple, and began to trust them with more grown up things, such as moving out and buying a place of their own. Kirstie and Avi were looking constantly for a local place, close to the university and their family. Esther had moved out and lives with Darien all of the time, but she still came over on Friday to catch up.

Kyla ran up the stairs, moving very quickly due to her athletic training, and burst into her bedroom, just as Kirstie finished removing the tags from the clothes. "Hey Kirst. I saved you a cookie." Kyla said, and Kirstie's heart dropped. She kind of hoped that Kyla would eat them all or Avi would help her out. Kyla was too kind to not offer though. And Kirstie couldn't say no, it was rude and would be too suspicious.

"Thanks Kay." Kirstie said, and took the cookie. Kyla went to put her clothes in the wash, and Kirstie hurried to the bathroom. She crushed the cookie up small and wrapped it up in a tissue, and stuffed it inside the cardboard insert of a used toilet roll, like a drug lord smuggling some product past the police.

She hurried back to the bathroom, and after seeing that there was nothing to do, pulled out her phone to text Avi. He always entertained her. He had a lecture that afternoon, and Kyla had an inset day, which is why Kirstie took her shopping. She was ahead in her work anyways and could miss one lab session.

K: Hey babe. How's it going?

A: So bored. I mean, it's interesting, but I would rather be with you.

K: Mr Kaplan. You really know how to win a lady's heart.

A: Well, I do try...

K: Love you xx

A: Love you too xxx

Kirstie put her phone away and decided that she would do some work on her laptop, whilst Kyla caught up on Pretty Little Liars. Her parents and Kevin hadn't let her watch it, so Kirstie and Avi let her binge watch it as long as she didn't tell them.

It didn't take long for Avi's lecture to finish and for him to rush straight home, and into the wonderful arms of his loving girlfriend. He opened the door, and after greeting Kyla, headed to the kitchen to find Kirstie. She was working silently, seeming very focused on her work.

"Hey Babe." Avi said, and Kirstie didn't look up. He sighed, she still sometimes got lost in her work, but it had been a lot more frequently in recent months. She just claimed to be busy, but Avi wasn't so sure. He was considering sending her to Abby for a little session. "Kiiirstiiiee." he called, but she still didn't respond.

He covered her hands with his so that she couldn't type, and that snapped her out of whatever she had been doing. "Oh, hi Avi. How long have you been home?" she asked him, and Avi sighed. "Only a couple of seconds Princess. How was shopping?"

Kirstie saved her work and closed down the top of her laptop. "It was fun. Kyla got lots of stuff and really loved the cookies." she said, and Avi smiled.

"Did you have any?" he asked her, and Kirstie nodded without hesitation. She had gotten better at lying to Avi, just as he got better at detecting her lies. "It was lovely." she said, and Avi leant down and rested his head on the back of her neck, and kissed her ear lobe. It made Kirstie giggle and blush slightly. Avi continued to kiss her up and down her neck, and she laughed and wriggled in her seat a lot, until she stopped.

Avi looked at the doorway, thinking that Kyla or his parents must have come in, but no one was there. "You alright Kirst?" he asked her, and she didn't respond, but she did suddenly fall backwards against the back of her chair, and Avi had to catch her shoulders before she fell harshly to the floor.

"Kyla, can you bring in a pillow or cushion!" Avi yelled into the front room as he lifted Kirstie to the ground, and supported her head as she fell into a seizure. Her eyelids were twitching and her wrists postured, as her legs locked out. This didn't happen too often, but when they did, they really upset Avi. He hated to see the love of his life in distress, and not in control of her own body.

Kyla walked in with a cushion off of the sofa, as she texted her friends, but when she saw that Kirstie was in distress, she put her phone down and ran in, sliding the cushion under her head as Avi lifted it slightly, not wanting to hurt her. He turned her quickly onto her side, and checked the clock on the wall. Two minutes.

The only sound was Kirstie's gaspy breathing and occasional grunt, as Avi and Kyla nervously waited for it to end. Her brother and parents were doctors she knew what a seizure was. She had gone to work with them enough times to be able to recognise one, and knew that Avi had already made sure that Kirstie was safe. Eventually, Kirstie began to slow down, and her movement became more subdued, before she stilled completely, her body still fairy tense as she slowly came out of the seizure.

Her breathing was still rough and Kyla got a piece of kitchen roll and passed it to Avi, who cleared the saliva from Kirstie's mouth, and her breathing improved. She slowly came around, feeling weak and dizzy. She tried to reach out for Avi's hand, but she didn't have enough control of her body to do that yet, but Avi understood the familiar hand twitch. She did it every time.

He slotted his hand into hers and began to trace circles on her palm to help bring her around. When her eyes widened slightly, he smiled gently down at her. "Hey Kirst. How do you feel?" he asked her, and she sighed, trying to form the right words. "Alright... tired." she said, and he nodded. "Can I move you?" he asked, not wanting her on the hard kitchen floor any longer, and Kirstie made a grunting noise that he took as a 'yes'.

He carried her to her bedroom and tucked her in, before sitting on the edge of her bed and stroked her hair out of her face. Kirstie was already asleep, having fallen asleep in his arms on the stairs, but he still wanted to bring her some form of comfort. Kyla quietly knocked on the door, catching Avi's attention. He looked at the little girl, who resembled her brother in so many ways, and he smiled at the familiar, kind eyes. The eyes that he had first felt safe in on his first day at Mountview.

"Is she alright?" Kyla asked nervously. Avi nodded, still stroking Kirstie's hair. "Yeah, she's fine. It just happens sometimes." he said, and Kyla nodded before heading beck downstairs, wanting to give the couple their privacy. Like Kevin, she respected people's privacy. Avi lay down next to his beautiful girlfriend and buried his face in her golden hair, inhaling the sweet, strawberry scent that lulled him to sleep.


	45. Secret

13:

“Avi! Get the phone!" Kirstie yelled as the phone kept on ringing. She was on her mobile talking to Mitch, and couldn't answer the phone. Avi our down his spoon and ran from the hob to the phone.

"Hello." he said, and heard a giggle on the other end of the line. He rolled his eyes and smirked; that happened a lot. It was probably another sales person. "Um, hello. Is this the residence of Kirstin Maldonado?" the voice asked; and Avi nodded. "Yes. May I ask who's calling?" he asked. "Tell her it's Emma. She'll know." the voice, who he presumed was Emma, and and Avi said "One moment."

He hurried into the front room and tapped Kirstie on the shoulder. He mouthed "It's an Emma." he said, and Kirstie's eyebrows shot up. "I'll call you back Mitchie... I don't know, soon... okay, you do that, bye..." she said and hung up. Avi chuckled, knowing how hard it was to get Mitch off of the phone. He really liked to chat.

Kirstie took the phone and walked to her room and shut the door. Avi let her have her privacy and finished up his practise dish for his presentation the next day. Kirstie came downstairs and silently put the phone on the hook. Avi turned around and looked at her, and his smile dropped. She was frowning and looking at the ground. "Kirst? Who was that?" he asked, and she looked up at him sadly.

She sat down at the table and Avi sat down next to her, and tried to take her hand, but Kirstie pulled them back. "Avi, if I tell you something, will you promise to hear me out before you yell at me?" she asked him, and he nodded. "Oookaay?" "I lied to you about my family. What I said about my parents was completely true, but I lied about that being all of my family. Emma is my sister, around Kyla's age, a year older. She was the perfect child and bullied me, taking my stuff, and bullying me at school. She would hit me and try to get me in trouble. She's the one that they were proud of, the one that wasn't a liability. And she hated the attention that I got for my abilities and hates me." Kirstie said, tearing up.

Avi felt hurt, she had kept such a vital part of her life hidden from him, a sister for crying out loud, but he understood. She wanted to forget about that time in her life and it was clearly upsetting her, so he got up and hugged her and she sobbed into his chest. "I'm so so sorry baby." she said, and he sighed. "I'm a little hurt that you lied to me, but I'm not mad. I promise." he said, and Kirstie pulled back. She wiped her eyes with her sleeve and sniffles a bit, so Avi got her a tissue. She wiped her eyes again sand blew her nose, making herself presentable again.

"So, why did she call?" Avi asked, wanting to know. "She wants to visit. Without my parents. Well, she forced her visit. She's coming next Friday." Kirstie said, looking scared. "It'll be alright Kirstie. I'll protect you if she tries to do anything, I promise." he said gently, and Kirstie giggled. "What?" Avi asked, smiling at her happiness. "You keep making me promises. It's cute." she said, and he rolled his eyes. "Okay then Sassy, upstairs now, I'm taking you out." he said, and swatted at her with the tea towel on the table, so that she ran upstairs and did her hair.

Kirstie took his hand as they walked out to the car and learn against his shoulder. "Where are we going?" she asked him, and he looked at her lovingly. "We're going to the cinema." he said, and her eyes widened. "To see Beauty and the Beast?" she asked excitedly, and he nodded. She loved 'Beauty and the Beast' and she loved 'Frozen', and Le Fou was the voice of Olaf, so she was desperate to see it. Avi has been planning on taking her out there for a date and some point, and this was the perfect time. Kyla was at school, his parents were at work, they could do whatever they wanted. Perfect.


	46. Sister

14:

Kirstie was running around the house, trying to get everything organised. She had just gotten in from her class and had found Avi watching TV. TV! It wasn't the time for Game of Thrones; the house had to be perfect. If Emma came and hated it, then Kirstie knew that she would tell her parents that, and they still controlled her mentally. So she had spent the last two hours being a mad cleaning lady, scrubbing everything so hard that she would put Kevin to shame. Knowing about the events of that night, Kyla was staying at a friends house for a sleepover party, and Michael and Shelley were coming home early that evening to meet Emma. They wanted to be there in case this escalated to something with Kirstie's parents involved. They didn't trust those two. They saw the condition that they left Kirstie in, and like everyone apart from Kirstie, they knew that if she hadn't been rescued when she had been, she would have surely killed herself.

Avi was watching Kirstie clean with love and concern. Love for her and all that she had been through, and concern that she was going to stress herself sick. That would only make things worse. He walked over to Kirstie, who was scrubbing the kitchen counter of grime and coffee stains, and grabbed her gloved hands. She looked up at him, exhaustion in her eyes, and he sighed. "Honey, go rest, you look exhausted." he said, and she shook her head back at him adamantly. "It has to be perfect Avi! I can't-" she began but Avi cut her off. "Go rest on the sofa, and I will tidy up. You have my word." he said, and Kirstie nodded, giving him the gloves, and she lay down on the sofa.

Avi took over tidying and cleaning, doing a decent job of it, and Kirstie lay on the sofa, not asleep but wishing that she was. She had barely slept since the phonecall a week ago. What if I'd didn't go well? What if Emma hasn't changed? That was her biggest fear. If her sister was still the same stuck-up, manipulative bitch that she had been when Kirstie was taken into social care, then she would be insufferable and tonight would be a disaster. 'Oh my god. It's going to go horribly.' Kirstie thought as she began to panic. She knew that she had already been falling apart at the seams and knew that the others would notice. She thought that Avi would have noticed by now, but he was probably in denial, not wanting a relapse. That's why Kirstie had been avoiding the others; they would notice.

It was with a deep, burning fear that an even worse thought came to Kirstie's mind. What if Emma took Avi from her? Let's face it, Kirstie is broken, and Emma is not. They share the same DNA, except that Emma's is not fucked up, therefore she is a younger, prettier, less crazy version of Kirstie, and don't men always want the younger model? Kirstie began to sob on the sofa, shaking uncontrollably. She didn't know how much longer she could pretend to be okay when she really wasn't. She was just so tired and wanted to die. At least she knew how not to do it, if it came to that. 

Avi came in and Kirstie pulled herself together. She had to be happy, for him. He was too precious to lose. "I'm going to get ready." Kirstie said, and hurried up the stairs before Avi could look at her face properly. People exaggerate lols in their heads, so if he didn't see her face then he may big up her beauty and when he sees Emma, not be as attracted to her as he would otherwise be. Also, her face was red and puffy and that wasn't attractive even on an angel.

Kirstie put on a pretty, blue dress, one that was quite loose, and a gold necklace, the one that Avi has gotten her for her birthday. It wasn't bery expensive as they didn't have loads of money, but it was the principle that he loves her and that is why Kirstie only wore it on special occasions. She doesn't want to lose it. Kirstie loosely curled her hair and applied a heavy duty layer of make up, water proof make up course, and headed back downstairs. Avi had put on smartish clothes, ones that were actually clean, and he had redone his man bun. He looked absolutely gorgeous and Kirstie went weak at the knees. Though that could be from malnutrition. 

Avi took Kirstie's hand and held it tightly in his own. "It's going to be fine Princess. And if she's a bitch, we'll just kick her out." he said, and Kirstie laughed at that. Avi leant down and kissed her deeply on the lips, and they moved side to side as one, dancing a little, and Kirstie wrapped her arms around Avi, and he did the same to her. It was a little too easy he noticed, but pushed that thought to the side when the door opened. 

Kirstie jumped back and fixed her hair whilst Avi wiped the lipstick that had stuck to his lips, off, and Michael and Shelley laughed at the sight that they had just been greeted with. They always seemed to walk in on those two making out, and found it funny when Kirstie and Avi panicked. They got a bottle of wine out of the wine fridge and set up the kitchen for dinner whilst Avi and Kirstie stayed waiting at the door. "Avi, she's half an hour late. Is she even going to come? I mean, she's the one that wanted to come and chose today. What if this is some kind of trick?" Kirstie asked him, and he shook his head at her. "She's probably just stuck in traffic. She'll be-" the doorbell rung. "Here." Avi said and Kirstie opened the door. 

There was a brunette stood on the other side of the door, one who was already a good four inches taller than Kirstie despite being five years younger than her, who was wearing a very short, glittery shirt, and skin tight leggings. Kirstie was right, of course her sister was beautiful. She had always been a very pretty child, and had been able to manipulate everyone to see things her way. She was slender too, but not anorexic thin like Kirstie, natural thin, proven by a little set of visible on her flat stomach. She was wearing picture perfect make up, and was holding the latest iPhone in her hand. Probably bought with Kirstie's prize money. Overall, Kirstie was terrified to see how grown up she had become. Would Kyla be like hat in a years time?

"Hello. Kirstin?" Emma asked, and Kirstie nodded, smiling a little genuinely. "Hello Emma. Please come in." she said, and moved aside it let Emma in. She closes the door as the younger gir took her shoes off, and they were face to face once again. "How are you?" Kirstie asked her, and Emma smiled. "I'm amazing. Mum and Dad have given me the bigger room." she said, and Kirstie's heart sunk. She hadn't changed. Not one bit. And she called them Mum and Dad; Kirstie couldn't ever imagine calling them that. "My old room?" Kirstie asked her, and Emma nodded. "Well Kirstin, it's not like you're using it." 

She walked into the front room and Kirstie followed her. Avi looked at Kirstie and mouthed 'Kirstin?'. Kirstie nodded. Her family had never called her anything but that, and that's why she preferred the nickname Kirstie so much. It represented her new life and was freeing to her. Emma sat down on the sofa, and pulled Kirstie's arm harshly to make her sit down next to her. Avi sat on the chair beside Kirstie. "So what have you been up to. I see you're not in the nut hours anymore." she said, and Avi had to grit his teeth to stop himself from yelling at her. 

"Yeah, I got out a year and a half ago. Avi and his parents took me in. I'm in my second year of university studying mainly theoretical physics, with a little of experimental science thrown in there." Kirstie joked at the end, but Emma didn't laugh. Her smile faltered, and she turned to Emma to speak. "Wow physics. God that must be so boring. No wonder you do it. And who are you?" she asked Avi. "Avi. I'm Kirstie's boyfriend." he said, and Emma's eyebrows shot up. "Oh, you're Mr Sexy Voice. It's a pleasure to meet you." she said and smiled flirting at Avi. He smiled back tightly, but Kirstie didn't notice. She was internally freaking out. Her worst fear was coming true. Emma was going to take Avi from her. 

Shelley and Michael came in and they both shook Emma's hand, who didn't stand up for thag, which was rather rude. "Hello Emma. I'm Shelley, Avi's Mum, and this is my husband Michael. It's nice to meet you." she said, and Emma just nodded. "So why did you take Kirstin in?" Emma asked them, and Avi could see his parents recoil with shock. It wasn't the words that she had said, it was how blunt and cruel they sounded. And that's not how you begin a conversation.

"She needed a home and Avi and his sister Esther absolutely adore her, and so do we, so we let her stay with us. But her and Avi are looking for a place of their own now." Michael said. "But why though? I mean, she's a spaz. Haven't you seen her? And she's crazy. I mean, she was in a bit houde for years. Didn't you fear that she would try and murder you all or something. Though knowing her, she wouldn't have the guts to do that. The only thing that she can do with guts is spill them in the toilet." Emma said, and Kirstie began to fight back tears. Avis as outraged and decided to not bother with dinner. This girl was leaving his house now, even if he had to shove her out. 

"Leave. Now." he said, and Emma looked at him, taken aback. "Why Mr Sexy Voice?" she asked, pouting seductively at him. "You're insulting my girlfriend. She's not crazy or a 'spaz'. She's kind and beautiful and smart. She's had a hard life and a couple of medical conditions that she can't help. Now I want you to apologise and leave." he said deeply. "No. I came here to see my sister." Emma said stubbornly. No, she came to torment her sister and ruin her life once again, and Kirstie didn't need Emma's help to do that, she was doing that just fine in her own. "Get out." Avi said, standing up, and Emma rolled her eyes. "Alright. Fine. I didn't want to be in her company anyways. I pity you guys for having to live with her. I know how hard that is. I recommend calling someone to take her away. That's what I did anyways." Emma said, and she walked out, with Avi following her. "And the name is Avi!" he yelled as he slammed the door behind her. 

He ran into the front room, where Shelley was hugging Kirstie, who was trying not to cry. "Dad, can you order pizza?" Avi asked, and Michael nodded, binning the original dinner in favour of Kirstie's favourite take out. That made Kirstie cry even harder, and break. Avi picked her up and sat her on his lap, singing to her as she sobbed into his chest, covering his shirt with tears and snot. She hadn't broken down like this since her freak out when Avi was going to leave her at Mountview all alone. 

"Hey Kirst, take deep breaths for me please. I love you, you're an amazing person. I'm never going to leave you, ever, and neither are my parents. We love you so much sweetie. Please calm down for me before you make yourself sick." Avi said, and Kirstie nodded, focusing on his heart beat to calm herself down. When she was reduced to just sniffles and hiccups, Shelley passed Avi a tissue, which he used to gently clean her face up. "I love you Kitten." he said, lifting her jaw up to him, so that he was looking into her eyes and she was looking back at him. "I love you too Dragon." she said, and nuzzled into his chest. 

"I'm not hungry anymore." Kirstie said, and Avi sighed. "Please Kirstie, don't let Emma get to you." he said, and Kirstie shook her head. It was time to lie again. "I'm not, I'm just not hungry. All of the crying made me lose my appetite. I just want to sleep. Can I go to bed Avi?" she asked him, and he nodded, seeing the dark rings under her eyes. He would just make her breakfast in bed tomorrow instead. "Okay sweetie. Do you want me to come?" he asked, and Kirstie shook her head gently at him. "You should eat; I just want to be alone right now." she said, and stood up to go upstairs. 

Michael still ordered pizza for the three of them, which they ate and discussed how rude Emma was. Kirstie didn't go straight to bed like she said that she would. She went to the bathroom and smashed her compact mirror. She took one of the sharpest pieces of glass and held it kn her right hand. She cut across her left arm and winced at the pain that cane with it, before sighing as she watched the blood pour out of her wrist and drip onto the floor. She felt better. She did it a few more times before changing arm and letting her mind slowly clear. The negative thoughts had been bought off for now, and Kirstie was satisfied with the temporary peace in her head. She cleaned up and then actually got ready for bed. As she crawled under the covers, she focused on the stinging in her arms that let her know that she was actually alive and she sighed at the tranquility.

She had missed this.


	47. Out

15:

It was the middle of the night when Jake received the call. It wasn't the call that he had ever wanted to hear as it meant that someone had mistreated his Ali, but it was also a dream come true because he got him back. But he first had to earn it. It was three am when Jake's mobile phone went off, and upon seeing Alex's contact information blare up, along with a cheesy photo of the two of them, Jake immediately wanted to answer it and punch the boy in the face. God he missed him so much. Jake wished with all of his heart that he had kissed him in Mountview, and that he had never let them fight. It shouldn't be. They were Jalex for crying out loud. And that was why Jake answered the phone. 

J: "Alex. I'm so glad that you called. I'm so sorry for fighting. Please let me make it up to you." Jake begged, his voice still deep as he had just woken up, and he even startled himself with how much he sounded like Avi right then.

A: "Jakey..." Alex whispered, his voice shaky and trailing off, and suddenly Jake became scared. Yes, Alex was more sensitive than he was, but he wasn't the kind of person to call up a random contact in the middle of the night and sob to them. Even if he was drunk. That meant that he had called Jake on purpose, and that he needed serious help.

J: "Ali, baby, come to my place and we can talk here okay? Or do I need to come to you?" Jake asked, already googling Alex's address, which he had waned to do ever since Alex told him that he was moving out to live with Kyle.

A:"I-I can come. I'm on my way home. I'll b-be thirty m-minutes." Alex whispered, and hung up. 

Jake jumped up and tidied his bedroom so that it was presentable, and got dressed quickly, brushing his hair and cleaning his teeth so that he looked presentable, and put the kettle on to make Alex's favourite tea so that when he heard a faint knock at the door, he was ready. Jake ran to the front door and opened it and Alex collapsed into his arms in a fit of tears. Jake rocked him side to side, closing the door with his foot, and led Alex to the sofa, still sobbing into his chest. They sat down and Alex pulled back to look at Jake properly, and Jake took in Alex's sorry appearance. 

His hair was messy and uncombed, his cheeks were red and swollen from tears, he mad massive bags under his eyes, and he was pretty pale. What had happened. The kettle went off and Jake quickly poured the tea, and handed a cup to Alex, who smiled weakly at him. Jake smiled back.

"Ali, listen. I am so sorry for being a jerk. I was jealous about you and Kyle and acted inappropriately and I'm so so sorry. I will never do it again; I missed you." Jake said, and Alex hugged him tightly. "I missed you too and I'm sorry too." Alex said, and Jake shook his head, telling Alex to not be sorry. Alex blushed a little at this and sipped his tea. "So, what happened Ali?" Jake asked him, and Alex looked like he was about to burst into tears again. Jake quickly wrapped his arms around his best friend, and pecked his cheek, which made him smile and pull away. 

"Umm. Me and Kyle broke up. He wasn't as nice as I thought that he was, and I don't know what to do." Alex said, and Jake nodded sadly, but was secretly smiling. He hated to see Alex so sad, but now he was in with a chance. Wasn't he? "Oh Ali. I'm so so sorry. I hope that you're okay." He said, and Alex smiled and nodded. "I am now that I'm with you." he said, before blushing st his own words, and Jake felt his heart warm. 

"Where are you staying?" Jake asked Alex, as he had moved in with Kyle, and Alex shrugged. "All of my stuffs in my car outside." he said, and Jake had a wonderful idea. "Why don't you move back in here. We would all love to have you back." Hale said, and Alex nodded eagerly, finally beginning to move on. "I would love that! Thank you Jakey!" he said, and Jake couldn't take it any longer. He leaned forwards and slammed his lips against Alex's and Alex froze, before melting into the kiss. This felt right, this felt perfect, way better than Kyle, and both boys then realised that this is what they had both wanted all along. Each other. 

Jake pulled back, and Alex was crying again. "Oh no baby. I'm sorry, please don't cry. If it is too soon, I can wait." he said, and Alex pulled him back in for another kiss, which Jake did not object to, and he never would.

"Alex, will you be my boyfriend?" Jake asked, and Alex nodded. They abondened their tea and headed up the stairs to Jake's room, and fell asleep wrapped up in each other and the duvet, too tired to make physical tea, but they could do so any time now, now that they were a couple. 

\- - -

"No! There has to be some kind of mistake! We each did our parts perfectly. You even said so yourself." Scott argued down the line, like he had done before and had been doing for over an hour now. Mitch was sobbing on the sofa and the new couple of two weeks were on the sofa, either side of him, cuddling him. Mitch didn't care though that he was being cuddled. He could feel himself slipping, all of the pressure was getting to him, and he was focusing on remaining calm, for Scott's sake. Poor Scott was so stressed.

"No! Stop! Hello?... Hello? Fuckers." Scott said as he put the phone back on the hook. "Did we lose it Scott?" Mitch asked, and Scott nodded sadly. "B-but we only just got it." Mitch said, his voice wobbling and cracking, as he tried to not cry, and Scott nodded. "I know sweetie, I know, but we can get another record deal. And then we can resume the album." he soothed, and then Mitch fully flipped. 

"No! We have lost everything all because you had to leave us Alex! And you Jake were a jerk and I had to hold you two together! And you Scott got fucking readmitted!" Mitch screamed, full of uncontrollable rage, which was not a flip that he often got, but when he did, it was nasty. And that's when Scott realised that Mitch needed some time away from the world for a bit to regain himself. He had been too stressed and struggling for a while, and he needed the predictable structure of Mountview Hospital again. He needed to go back. 

"Shh baby. You're okay. I'm going to get you help, okay." Scott soothed as Mitch continues to rage, and then his Peter Pan Syndrome came out, and he began to melt down, stamping his feet and screaming, and Scott had to wrestle him to the floor. "I'll call Avi." Jake said, as he knew that Mitch would need a little intervention, and Alex helped Scott calm him down. It took both boys taking to him and Scott singing to him to help Mitch relax, at which point, he fell asleep on the floor, in Scott's arm, sucking his thumb. "Avi and Kirstie will be here in twenty minutes." Jake said from the kitchen.

And true to their word, nineteen and a half minutes later, Avi banged on the Scömaleke door, waking Mitch up. Scott kissed his forehead as he lifted him up onto the sofa, and Jake answered the door. Kirstie and Avi were standing on the other side, looking anxious, and something else was wrong, but he wasn't sure what. He showed them in, and Kirstie ran over to Mitch and hugged him tight as Avi spoke to Scott. "We lost the record deal. They didn't wasn't two gays with mental illnesses." Scott said, and Avi became mad. "How dare they."

"It's okay Mitchie. They are stupid people who don't know talent when they are looking square in it's adorable, half Italian face. You're going to see Jen for a little while to feel better, and then you and Scottie can get an even better job, and that label will love you for being you, like I do." Kirstie said, talking to Mitch like he was an infant, as he was back in that mindset again, and he nodded and held her hand. "Should I pack?" he asked her, speaking so seriously, like it was the most important thing in the world, and Kirstie nodded. "But not right now sweetie. Scott will want to help you with that." she said, and kissed his forehead, always protective of her Mitchie. 

Scott looked at the scene, and it looked all too familiar, and not just on Mitch's end, but he didn't say anything. He didn't know that he was so right. Then, Alex walked downstairs, having gotten Mitch a couple of toys in case this didn't go well, and when he saw Kirstie Mitch's forehead, he froze in horror, not because of the friendly kiss or Mitch being childish, but because of how thin and sick Kirstie looked, especially to a couple of months ago. And he noticed the way that she was holding her sleeved arms, and it was the same way that she did when she used to cut herself, though, he realised that the tense of that sentence needed to be updated to a present one.

"Kirstie! Oh my god!" he yelled, and dropped the toys, running over to hold her. She was terrified, he knew. She shouldn't have come; she knew that she shouldn't have come. The boys didn't need her, they never had, and they didn't need he rot help calm Mitch down. They would have done a better job if she wasn't around. Oh god, Avi was going to find out, and he was going to be so upset, and she would lose her second family. She had gotten so much worse since Emma visited, and had been cutting herself and purging more, not even allowing herself water anymore. 

She pushed Alex away but was way too weak for him, and he grabbed her in his arms, being careful of her own arms. "Avi, how could you not notice?" he asked him, and Avi frowned. Jake and Scott got it, and then so did Mitch. "Oh god." Scott said, horrified at the long sleeved skeleton that stood before him. "Notice what?" Avi asked, still in denial that his love cold relapse and do this to herself once again, especially without his noticing, but it had, and Alex was going to make damn sure that he knew it. 

"Kirstie's relapsed." Alex said, and Avi's eyes widened in humour and disbelief, as he looked at the others to laugh with him at Alex, but they all looked back at him, as horrified and startled as Alex himself, so Avi nervously looked back at Kirstie, and I mean REALLY looked at her. And god, wasn't she thin, and frail. She was shaking on the spot and looked ready to collapse at any moment, so pale, and she sleeve were a dead give away. Alex was holding her arms like they would snap under his grip because, well, they could. There was no fat for protection and Kirstie's bones were calcium deficient from years of starvation, so she could physically snap under his pressure, as well as mentally. They were all so used to seeing her like this, that they almost didn't notice the relapse, all except Alex, the observant one, even when he could talk. 

"Oh Kit..." Avi said, his voice full of sorrow and regret, and that's what Kirstie feared he would feel, but misunderstood the regret he felt for not noticing her pain as regret that he had ever liked her, let alone loved her, and she had to leave. She had to protect him and make him happier by leaving his life forever. "I'm so sorry Avi." she said, and managed to surprise Alex when she pulled away, so that he let her go and she sprinted out of the house. 

She didn't stop running for anything, wanting to get as far away from there as possible, to protect the boys from the royal screw up that she was, a mistake to be born, and she didn't stop running for anything. Not for the fact that she hadn't eaten and kept food down in weeks, not for the oncoming cars, and most certainly not for the black cloud in her vision that was growing at an exponential rate. Not until her body gave up on her, like her mind had done a long time ago, and she was finally done, the only sound that heard her out was a small thump as her abused, lifeless body hit the concrete below.


	48. Ambulance

16:

Avi watched Kirstie run out of the house and saw Scott run after her. He collapsed to the ground and Jake ran out of the door as Alex hesitated by the door when he saw Avi fall, and he ran over to him instead. "Avi, Avi, look at me." Alex said, and Avi did so. "How could I miss it? What kind of a boyfriend am I?" He asked Alex, and Alex just shrugged. He didn't know; but how could Avi miss this? But they had to come back to that later, they first had to find Kirstie and get her and Mitch help.

"Can we do this later Avi? We don't have for this right now. We need to find Kirstie." he said and walked towards the door. "Are you coming or not?" Avi nodded and stood up, collecting himself. "Okay, let's find her." he said. Alex took Mitch's hand, not wanting to leave him alone in his current state, but Avi took him and flung him over his back, making him laugh.

They took off running in the direction that they had seen Kirstie go, and ended up finding Scott and Jake. Scott took Mitch from Avi, and Alex looked around. "Where did she go?" he panted, trying to catch his breath. "I don't know. This is where we last saw her." Scott said, and they were only a few roads away from the house. She hadn't gone far.

Avi looked around and saw a side road, a bunch of shops, and a few houses. He ran to the side road and looked down it, but it was empty. She couldn't have gone far without Scott and Jake seeing, so where had she gone? Avi looked around again and this time spotted a very small but very stony alleyway running down the side of one of the buildings, and he thought about how Kirstie often hid in corners of rooms when she freaked out too much. Or you knows, any tight space. That alleyway would be ideal for her.

He ran over to it, and what he saw made him gasp. Kirstie was on the floor, unconscious, and there was a small pool of blood near her head. It was obvious that she had passed out and cracked her head open on a stone. "Guys! Over here!" Avi yelled, and they all came running. "Shit! Is she breathing?" Scott asked, and Alex ran over to her and checked her pulse and breathing. "She's alive but barely. Someone call 999!" he yelled, and Jake pulled his phone out.

He called an ambulance and Avi sat down on the floor with Kirstie, and cradled her head in his lap, and smiled at Mitch when he passed Avi his jacket to put on her head and stop the bleeding. He then went back to Scott and made grabby hands, indicating that he wanted to be picked up. Scott did pick him up and bounced him up and down on his hip as the ambulance could be heard.

Jake directed the paramedics over, and they immediately took Kirstie into the ambulance. One of them headed over to Scott, and ignored Mitch to ask his question. "She's very underweight. Is she anorexic?" he asked, and Scott nodded. "She just relapsed. We were confronting her about it and she ran and must have passed out here." Scott said.

"Can you make sure to take her to Mountview Hospital. I know that it's not the closest one but that's where she will be admitted under psychiatric care with Mitch here." Jake said, rubbing Mitch's back, and the paramedic frowned but nodded. "Can do. We'll call ahead with both of them." he said, and Avi and Scott rode with Kirstie and Mitch in the ambulance. Jake and Alex were going to drive over and meet them there. Avi was calling his sister and parents to let them know what was going on, and Mitch was having a whale of a time riding up front with Scott, and turning the sirens on.

They were blue lighted to Mountview Hospital, and Jen was waiting for them outside. Kirstie was rushed to the emergency room, and Jen took the others upstairs. As they rode in the elevator, she broke the silence. "Well, I didn't see this one coming." she said, and Scott shook his head no. "Neither did I, but here we are. Thanks for taking them both in on such short notice." he said, and Jen nodded. "It's fine. We will always have a bed for you guys. If you need it." she said, and Avi grabbed her in a tight hug.

"Oh..." she said, before she hugged him back, a bit startled by Avi's sudden action. "Thank you so much Jen." he said, and she smiled gently. "It's okay." The elevator binged and they got out of the elevator and headed to Mitch and Scott's old room.

"Mitch and Kirstie can share your old room." she said to Scott, and he nodded. That was perfect, or as perfect as it could be in this non ideal situation.

Jen got Avi readmitted and Avi got a call from Esther.

E: "Avi. What the hell is going on? I moved out for a few weeks and this happens!" she yelled at him.

A: "I don't know. She relapsed but I don't know when. We're at Mountview; Mitch is being readmitted too as he kind of broke down. Kirstie collapsed in an alleyway and cracked her head open. We don't know if anything else went wrong, but she's in the emergency room now. I'm going down to see her." Avi informed her.

E: "Okay, but me, Mum, and Dad are coming down later today, as soon as we can." she said, and that made Avi freak out just that little bit less.

A: "Okay. Thanks Es. Please hurry. I love you, bye."

E: "I love you too little brother. Bye." Esther said, and Avi hung up.

He turned back to the others. "I'm going to see Kirstie. I'll be back soon, maybe." Avi said, and Alex jumped forwards. "I'll come with you." he said, and Avi shook his head. "I kind of want to go alone." Avi said, and Alex nodded, understanding.

Avi headed down the elevator and found a doctor, who directed him to Kirstie's bed. He sat down next to her and looked at her stitched up head and sickly, frail body with her ashen face, and wondered: How did they end up back here?


	49. Return

17:

Avi held Kirstie close to his chest as they rode the elevator back up to the mental health until. They had been seeing Esther, Josh, and his parents out after they came to visit, but Avi was staying a. little bit later. He, Kirstie, Mitch, and Scott were going to stay until visiting hours were over, to keep their guilty loved ones company. "You need to let me go." Kirstie said as the elevator doors opened, but Avi shook his head and flung his very light girlfriend over his shoulders and gave her a piggyback to the room, which caused her to actually laugh.

"Aaaaviiii." she cried, as he opened the bedroom door and carefully dropped her onto the bed. Mitch and Scott sat up, having been making out a bit, and Kirstie moved her hair out of her face. "You're evil." she said whilst laughing, and he kissed her lips to keep her quiet. She rested her head against his chest and fell asleep. "Why don't you do that to me Scottie?" Mitch whined, resulting in Scott rolling carefully on top of Mitch, and kissed his face all over.

"Hey Scott. The time." Avi said, and he checked the clock on the wall and nodded once at him. We had ten minutes until dinner time. "How was your family?" he asked Avi, and Avi sighed. "They were happy to see Kirstie. Esther missed her so much." Because she's about to graduate, she doesn't have much time to visit. Avi is close to graduating as well, but he has more freedom in his schedule, so he stays at Mountview as much as he can.

"That's good. When is Kev coming back?" Scott asked him, and Avi smiled at the thought of seeing Kevin again. "Tonight. I'm leaving right after dinner to meet him at my place. Kyla has already packed her bags." Avi said. "How is she finding everything?" Scott asked. "She's okay. She found it hard when Kirstie was admitted but she's happy that Kevin is coming back. She missed him, but is sad to leave as she also enjoyed staying with us." Avi explained, remembering when she cried into his chest when Kirstie was admitted a few weeks ago.

"That must be exciting. Is he going to visit us?" Scott sat up and brushed Mitch's hair to get him ready for dinner. "He doesn't know that they are back in here yet, but when he knows, I'm sure he will be desperate to come here." Avi explained, and smiled at Scott and Mitch's cuteness. Mitch sat up and kissed Scott's cheek and then sucked his thumb, wondering what was going on. He looked up at the clock.

"Dinner time!" he yelled loudly, and Avi cringed at the sound, knowing tbah Kirstie would wake up and freak out now. He wanted to get her to the cafeteria before she panicked. But there would be no such luck she sat up suddenly and looked at the clock. "Please no Avi. Don't make me." she begged, her voice wavering. "We have to sweetie. Come on, it's spaghetti tonight." he said, and Kirstie shook her head, tears beginning to fall, and backed away to the door.

Avi knew that she was about to run. She had done it a lot, and never made it far before she passed out. He didn't want her to pass out again, so he grabbed her by the waist and put her on his hip. Kirstie struggled, trying to get away, but she wasn't strong enough to push Avi away. He carried her to the cafeteria, and Scott carried Mitch as he rested against Scott, still sucking his thumb.

Kirstie was sobbing by the time that Avi sat down with her and Mitch, as Scott collected their trays. They were both very uncomfortable, no longer enjoying leaving the bedroom. Scott and Avi have spent a lot of time hanging out with their lovers in that one small room. "It's okay baby. I love you so so much and I'll help you with this." he said, and held her tight as she squirmed in her seat.

She fell silent and Avi sighed, trying not to cry himself. She leant fully into his chest as she had an absent seizure, before she came round about a minute later and kissed his cheek lovingly. When she was starving herself, she grew weak, and that increased the number of seizures that she had. It was the same situation with Mitch. The more stressed he grew, the more he reverted into a childish state with his Peter Pan Syndrome.

"Here you go." Scott said, and put down the spaghetti down on the table, with Kirstie's portion being bigger. Scott made sure that Mitch ate his, and he ate his own. Avi watched Kirstie torture herself by taking a few small bites of the vegetables, but avoided the meat and pasta. The parts with the most calories in them. Avi knew not to push it though. She was eating something now. He ate his own dinner, and when she decided that she had had enough to eat, he gave her tray back.

"It's time for therapy." Scott said, and they led Mitch and Kirstie back to their room. Abby saw them in there at the moment as they wouldn't go to the therapy room. It was weird. As soon as they had been admitted alone, Kirstie and Mitch bonded together super close, to make up for them missing everyone else, and had quickly become scared to leave the room, as they didn't feel safe out there. Abby was working on that along with figuring out why they relapsed and how to make it better.

Scott and Avi weren't allowed in the room, so they headed to the common room and played cards for an hour and had their own kind of therapy time. They would talk to each other about this situation, as they both understood each other, and were able to keep each other sane. It was soon time to head back, and Mitch was already asleep, as he was very infantile that day, and Kirstie was close to falling asleep. "They're all yours." Abby said, patting both boys gently on the shoulder, and let them go in.

Scott kissed Mitch on the forehead, whilst Avi climbed into bed with Kirstie. "I love you." she said gently, and curled up into his side. "I love you too baby. Go to sleep now." Avi said gently, and she fell asleep quickly. He got up carefully, and drove Scott home. "Thanks man. Same time tomorrow?" Scott asked, and Avi nodded. "Bye." and drove home. He had a shower and sat on the sofa with Kyla, watching the Big Bang Theory. "How was she?" Kyla asked cautiously." "She's okay." Avi said.

Then there was a knock at the door and Kyla squealed and ran to the door. "Kevy!" she screamed, and jumped into his arms. Avi ran to the front door and smiled at the happy reunion. "Hey Kay." he said, and kissed her cheek gently. "Hey bro." he said, and pulled Avi in for a big hug. "How was she?" Kevin asked, and Avi smiled. "You've got a great sister there Kev. She was lovely to have stay." Avi said, and Kyla hugged Avi. "Where's Kit?" Kevin asked, and Avi and Kyla looked at the ground.

"Her and Mitch relapsed a couple of weeks ago. They're roommates at Mountview." Avi said, and he saw Kevin's mood drop. "They're okay though, don't worry. How was your trip?" he asked, inviting Kevin in, and he expected Kevin's mood to pick up again, but it didn't. "I quit." Kevin said, and Kyla gasped. "Why Kev? You love that job." she asked, and Kevin just shook his head, a silent and secretive 'no'. He didn't want to burden her with his knowledge; he couldn't do that to her.

"We should go. It's late. Thank you so much Avi." he said, and took Kyla's bags to the car and they drove home. Avi was shocked. Kevin wasn't Kevin. He didn't ask to see Mitch and Kirstie, he didn't seem happy about the trip, and he didn't even stay to catch up. What had happened to Kevin? Avi was so confused, everyone around his was crumbling to pieces, and he didn't know what to do about it. He felt like Kevin used to, like he was the glue holding everyone together, and then he realised just how hard it really was. Kevin was a rock. Avi just went to bed, not wanting to be alone, having lost Esther, Kirstie, and now Kyla. He drifted off into a lonely, dreamless sleep, curled up in a ball in Kirstie's bed, to bring him closer to her, despite being so far away.


	50. Haunted

18:

"Hello there little boy. What's your name. Mine is Kevin." Kevin said, crouching down in front of the little boy, who had a hand on his stomach. "My name is Abedi." the boy said, in a thick, African accent. His English was better than most of the other people that Kevin had treated. Abedi couldn't be older than seven or eight, and he was painfully thin. He looked like Kirstie in that aspect. "What's the matter Abedi?" Kevin asked him. "My tummy sore and poopy." Abedi said, and Kevin nodded. The broken English was cute, but the symptoms were not. They were alarming.

A week earlier, there had been an outbreak of cholera in this small village, causing Kevin's base to rush to the scene. Most of the sufferers so far had been adults, and Kevin hated that this poor, innocent boy, had the early symptoms. He would protect him; he had to. "Okay Abedi. Can you lift up your shirt for me please." Kevin said,, carefully lifting the boy up onto his table. Abedi did so, and both boys looked at his distended stomach. Severe bloating. It may be too late. "I'm going to give you some medicine. It may not taste nice, but you need it, and this little needle here will go into your arm, and then you can go to sleep in a comfy bed." Kevin said, and Abedi's dark brown eyes widened in excitement.

He took the medicine without complaint, but when he saw the needle, he began to freak out. "Please no Kevin." he begged, tears beginning to spill down his cheeks. "Hey, have you ever heard of beatboxing?" Kevin asked Abedi, using a technique that he used on Mitch and Kirstie when they had to get iv's. "No sir." Abedi said. "It makes music. It sounds like this." Kevin said, and began to beatbox a random tune. Abedi laughed and clapped, barely noticing the needle go into his arms, giving him antibiotics. Kevin carried him to a bed and tucked the little boy in, wondering where his parents were. Abedi fell asleep to the sound of him beatboxing.

"C-can you b-box?" Abedi whispered, coughing afterwards. He was very pale and extremely dehydrated, but he was losing fluids faster than Kevin could put them in him. "Sure bud." Kevin said, and began to beatbox, taking Abedi's hand in his own, and Abedi smiled gently, before he sighed and closed his eyes. Kevin didn't stop beatboxing as the child's body was covered in a filth cloth, he didn't stop beatboxing as people spoke to him, he didn't stop beatboxing until Abedi's body was taken away for burying. And Kevin never wanted to beatbox ever again.

He woke up sweating and shaking. The boy haunted his dreams. He had reminded Kevin of his sister and Kirstie and Mitch. He was planning on adopting him and bringing him home. He even had the papers filled in and ready. That was all that he had now, the papers. Those, and the nightmares. His boss had sent him home due to his deteriorating mental health, but in his mind, Kevin was still there. He couldn't escape. Kevin wasn't sure how he was supposed to be the strong one when he was falling apart himself.

Abedi didn't deserve that. Cholera had made him suffer unbearably. He lost his family, then he lost his health, and spent days in agony before he died, afraid and feeling awful. And Kevin couldn't help him. The man in the bed rolled over, no longer Kevin Oluwole Olusola.

\- -

 

"Are you ready Kirst?" Avi asked, parking the car on the driveway. He had taken Kirstie home for the day, as he knew that he could guilt her into eating his cooking. And he wanted to share this with her. He had made a practise of his graduation menu, and wanted Kirstie there to try some, even if she didn't eat it all, to celebrate what he had achieved. Kirstie nodded, not wanting to talk; she just wanted to go back to the hospital.

She felt like the others, Avi's family, would judge her and hate her, as they took her in and she lied to them by hiding a relapse. She felt hideous, she isn't skinny enough to be seen in public, not yet. And she just wanted to hide in hers and Mitch's room, where no one would judge her or force her to eat, and where she felt safe. But Abby had told her that she had to go, to support Avi. And she did want to support Avi, but she didn't want to eat.

Avi got out of the car, and ran around to Kirstie's door and opened it for her. She was too weak to open it herself. "Thanks." she said, and gout out of the car, wrapping her long cardigan around her thin frame. Avi sighed, upset at himself for not noticing her pain, and feeling so sorry for his girlfriend, and opened the door. Esther wheeled out and grabbed Kirstie in a hug, happy that she was there. Kirstie hugged back, missing her sister, and Esther led her to the kitchen. Avi had made the food that morning, before he left to pick Kirstie up, and his parents had kept it warm for them.

"Hey Kirst." Darien said, and Kirstie waved shyly at him. She hadn't seen him since before her relapse, and she could see the shock in his eyes at her appearance. It just confirmed for her how hideous she was. There was Emma, who was flawless and beautiful, and who everyone loved. And then there was Kirstin, the fat, ugly older sister.

"Take a seat Kirstie." Michael said, and Esther guided Kirstie to a chair next to herself, before she transferred herself into a chair, and Darien moved the wheelchair out of the way. Avi and Shelley lay the food on the table, and Kirstie's stomach filled with dread. It betrayed her though, and let out a loud rumble, making Josh laugh. "Well someone's hungry." he said, and Kirstie blushed as red as she could, being a little pale.

"Thank you Avi." Esther said, and then paused. "Now let's eat." she said, and then all dug in. All except Kirstie. She didn't want it let Avi down, and she was so so SO proud of him, not just for facing his demons and actually beating them, unlike her pathetic self, but because of what he had achieved. He would get a degree soon, because he was such a good chef that there was no way that he would fail. But her twisted mind wouldn't let her eat. She kind of wanted to, she was extremely hungry, but she couldn't. She couldn't raise her arm to hold the utensils, and she couldn't eat. She would lose all of her hard work.

Avi let it slide for five minutes, until Kirstie still hadn't eaten, and he had eaten half of his plate. He thought that this would work, that she would eat something, because he made it. And she loved him; she wouldn't want to let him down. "Kirstie, you going to eat something?" Avi asked her, and she shook her head nervously. "I can't." she said. "Yes you can sweetie. Look, we can do it together." Esther said, trying to get Kirstie to do a group bite with her, but Kirstie shook her head again. "No Esther, I can't." she said, louder this time, not quite shouting but was still loud.

"Please Kirstie." Avi said, also raising his voice, trying to stay calm. He had tried to hold her together, but she couldn't help herself, and he knew it. And he was annoyed. "No Avi." Kirstie begged. Avi glared at her; he had never glared at her before. He walked to her seat and put a forkful of lamb on her fork, and held it to her mouth. She pulled her head back, but he grabbed her chin and held it still, squeezing her jaw angrily. Kirstie burst into tears, and Avi dropped his hands. What was he doing? Kirstie pushed her chair back, and stood up.

She had tears streaming down her cheeks and wiped them away quickly. "I want to go back. I can't be with you anymore Avi." she said, and Avi's eyes widened. She had just broken up with him. Kirstie walked out of the house and slammed the door shut behind her. "I'll drive her." Michael said, breaking the awkward silence. He grabbed his car keys and left the room. Avi sunk to the floor and began to sob, leaning against Esther when she carefully dropped to the floor to cradle him, like Avi used to do to Kirstie. Darien and Shelley cleared away the food; no one had an appetite anymore.

The phone rang, and Shelley answered it. "Avi, it's for you." she said, and Avi jumped up and took the phone from his mother, thinking that it would be Kirstie.

J: "Hello, Avi, is that you? It's Jen." Jen said, and Avi recognised her calming voice.

A: "Yeah, I'm here. Has my Dad called you yet?" he asked her.

J: "No. I don't know what you're talking about, sorry Avi. But I need you to come to Mountview right now." Jen said urgently, and Avi stopped crying.

A: "What! Why?"

J: "It's Kevin. He slit his wrists. He's lost so much blood, and I don't know if he's going to make it."

\- -

 

End of Book 2


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